Dear Diary, I Think I'm In Love

The Moment That Changed It All

Dear Diary,

I’m usually a very calm person. Calm, punctual, not one to pick a fight, unless provoked … I feel like I threw all those traits in a bin this morning. I was … mean. I don’t like that and I feel really bad about myself.

By the way, is there a way to forget something you heard? If there is, I would love to know of it, because I’m not sure I can live with that information in my head. Especially not in this house. With these people around me. Yes, I’m spiraling, and no, I don’t want to reveal anything in particular. I have a feeling that Aiden reads my diary. Aiden, if this is you, GET YOUR PAWS OFF MY DIARY!

When I wake up, I feel like a train has run over me. I barely slept through the night, because I kept thinking about what Hunter has said to me. No one has ever used that kind of approach when talking to me. Not even Eric. And we’re dating. It makes me feel ... I don’t know, like I'm not invisible, maybe?

I take my phone to check the time, freezing as I realize it's way past nine. My mom is going to have my head for this.

I scatter out of bed and start rummaging through my closet in the darkness. I grab literally the first tracksuit that comes into my hands and get dressed.

As I open the curtains, I'm blinded by the daylight. Why did I just do that? I blink my way to the door and step outside, once my eyes get adjusted to the light. I drag myself to the bathroom, hoping that it's not taken. Wow, it must be my lucky day, I get to have it all to myself.

But my happiness vanishes as quickly as it had appeared, once I get down to the kitchen. And realize that I won't be able to eat my breakfast in peace, because the boys are both there, sitting by the kitchen island, with their backs turned towards me. Our parents are nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning," I greet them, deciding to treat this really carefully. I don't want to cause drama after last night. They both turn towards me, and I almost stop in my tracks as Hunter pins his green-eyed gaze on me.

"Morning," they both greet me at the same time, sounding like they barely shut their eyes last night. I raise my eyebrows, but don't say anything in response. Usually, I'd already tease them about not sleeping well. But today, I choose life.

I walk towards the fridge to take out whatever catches my eye. Finally, I grab the milk, then find the granola in the cupboard. As I put it in a bowl and start pouring milk over it, Aiden is already staring at me with a pointed gaze.

He doesn’t say anything, however. At least not until I sit down and start munching on my breakfast in peace. "You do realize that mom and dad would murder you, if I told them you didn't warm up the milk before consuming it?" he remarks. Speaking so nobly, like a true high-born gentleman. Yeah, I've been watching too much Bridgerton lately. Can you blame me, though? It's addicting.

I glare at him, swallow the granola, then show him my tongue. I can see with the corner of my eye, that there’s a hint of a smile starting to play around Hunter's face. But I decide not to acknowledge it. I have no idea how to act around him after his question from yesterday's evening. I don’t want to get involved in this.

"Really mature," my older brother remarks. I can feel my cheeks heating up. Seriously, he's the one to talk! I already take a deep breath, meaning to say something that he wouldn't like. But then, I change my mind in the last second, and just shake my head in response. Not worth it. The boys seem to be fine with each other, so I'm not going to push it.

I continue eating, hoping that I'll get some more peace now. But in that moment, Hunter just has to open his mouth. "Did the cold milk kill your tongue?" he wonders in a completely innocent tone.

My spoon stops midway to my mouth, and I look him dead in the eyes. "No, but I'd be really grateful, if it made me go deaf," I remark dryly, before shoving the spoon into my mouth. Aiden laughs, patting his friend's back.

"Aw, you earned yourself a petty comeback from my little sis. Welcome to the club, pal," he tells him sweetly, but he can't mask the hint of bitterness inside his voice. I freeze. I don't like where this is going.

Hunter clearly doesn't realize that he's headed into the danger zone, or he doesn’t care, because he looks at my brother with a cocky smirk, saying: "Maybe, if I keep this up, I'll earn myself something else, too." Smack.

I flinch at the movement that my brother makes, swinging his arm towards Hunter's face, ending up slapping the back of his head. "You two are nuts, I'm out of here," I mumble, grabbing the bowl and moving towards the dining area, hidden behind the corner.

"Mom is going to kill you if you get milk on the rug!" Aiden calls after me, making me turn around, and make a decision in a hint of a second. I haven't even been awake for fifteen minutes and he's already tormenting me? Hell no, not today.

"Then it's a good thing that we don't have one in the kitchen," I remark before pouring what remains of my breakfast down Aiden's neck. He jumps onto his feet, almost squealing like a little girl. Hunter's jaw drops.

I walk around the mess and place the bowl into the sink, feeling my hands starting to tremble from pulling off a confrontation like that. "YOU'RE INSANE! YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE SHIRT!" Aiden yells at me, while I spin around and cross my arms against my chest.

"And you ruined my appetite. At least you'll get yourself a new shirt now, this one already reeks of you," I bark back, knowing that I'm being extremely rude right now, but I have had enough. Hunter doesn't say a single word, and he better don't. Because I can't recall the last time I've taken things this far with my brother.

Yes, we've always had our spats, but they were more of a joke than anything else. This now? I don't even know what I was trying to accomplish. Distract my brother, so he wouldn't smack Hunter in the face? Ugh, why am I protecting him? He could use a fist to his jaw for talking to me like that! Thank God Eric isn’t here yet.

Finally, I realize that I'm being a little crazy. Aiden is still staring at me like a wild animal, ready to pounce at my neck and snap it in half. I sigh, starting to feel really bad about what I just did. "I'm sorry, Aiden. Go change and leave your clothes in the bathroom. I'll wash them for you, okay?" I speak up, making my brother stare at me in the same way for a few moments, before his gaze softens a little. But really, just a little bit.

He lets out a long, frustrated breath, without saying another word to me. He simply shakes his head and leaves. I let out a sigh, before turning around and grabbing the first towel that I spot. Then, I get to the island and start cleaning up the mess that I made.

Before I know it, there's a second pair of hands helping me out. I look up, almost bumping my head into Hunter's. I jump backwards, feeling my heart rate skyrocket. "I can handle it on my own," I tell him, getting up to grab another towel. He doesn't listen to me and keeps cleaning. "Seriously, Hunter, you don't have to help me."

I turn around with a sigh, then open the upper cabinet and start pulling out a fresh towel. As I twist my hips, I feel them rubbing against something. Or rather, someone. I gasp, my upper body joining the movement, but I regret it instantly.

Hunter is standing so close to me, that my breath hitches inside my throat. "What are you doing?" I squeal, then freeze as he raises his arm. I'm gripping the edge of the counter, practically ready to jump on it, in case he gets any closer. But his hand travels past my head, opening the cabinet that I just closed.

"I'm grabbing a new towel," he then answers, his eyes glistening playfully as he glances at me, before walking away. I let out a long, shaky breath, not knowing what to think anymore. I force myself to join him. There's no way I'm letting him clean after me.

We wipe the floor in a tense silence. But no matter how many times I try to break it, I can't bring myself to do it. I really don't know how to act, which is strange, considering the fact that we've know each other since we were kids.

"You’re never this quiet," he suddenly remarks. I'm just going over the last few spots with a wet towel, almost praying that my mom won’t be able to tell that I spilled milk all over the floor.

I glance at him quickly, then hide my gaze behind my hair. "You never talk to me like that," I remark in response.

"Like what?" he wonders in a completely innocent tone. I can’t help but lift my gaze to send him a slight glare. He can’t be for real right now.

"Don’t. I'm not going to play any games with you," I warn him, already picking myself up from the ground. He follows my movement, almost like making sure, that we keep our eyes at the same level.

He raises his eyebrows slightly. "I'm not playing games. You’re just fun when you get flustered," he tells me in response. I stare at him dumbfoundedly for a moment, before suddenly getting angry. And disappointed. I don’t exactly know why.

"Are you trying to end your friendship with my brother or something?" I snap at him, mad that he's playing around like that just because he finds my reactions funny! Ugh, this boy will never change!

When he doesn't answer me, I turn around and walk to the sink, starting to pick up the towels that we dirtied. "Has it ever occurred to you that I might just like you, Perrie?" he suddenly blurts out, making me freeze.

Oh, no. He didn't just go there. Oh my God. Holy s**t. Hailed cows. What did he just say?! I can feel the heat, radiating from my face. I'm too scared to even turn around. I just stand there by the sink, staring through the window like someone's there, ready to help me out.

Why did he just go there? I’m in a relationship. With one of his friends. "Hunter ..." I finally breathe out with a shaky voice, unable to say anything else, because suddenly, the back door opens and I flinch, the sound basically catapulting me into the ceiling.

"Oh, good morning, Hunter," I hear my mother's voice travel through the kitchen, accompanied by the sound of rustling bags. Ah. She went grocery shopping. "Glad to see you're up, munchkin," she then adds in a voice, that hides just a hint of disapproval.

I can feel my cheeks starting to burn even more badly than they did before. I turn around, basically feeling the need to snap at my mother. But I know very well, that if I do that, I'll be grounded until spring. "Mom, don't call me that," I mumble, trying to forget what Hunter said to me mere moments ago.

She smirks, then looks at me in surprise. "Whoa, have you just finished a workout, or is there another reason that your face resembles a lobster?" she asks casually. Before I'm able to come up with a believable excuse, her eagle-eyed gaze already spots the mess in the sink. "And what is that?" she adds in a sharp tone. Uh-oh. I'm in trouble.