Once Rejected, Twice Denied.

Chapter Twelve

TESSA POV:

Brett didn't ever come back to the room. It makes me feel uneasy, because he looked so angry leaving yesterday and only Goddess knows what he has been planning to do to Full Moon since finding out my history. I hope he isn't doing anything rash or too violent. Not everyone was bad. For example, Aimee may have ripped my heart out but she doesn't deserve to be killed or hurt because of it. Her family was also always good to me.

"You focusing, girl?"

I look back at Ray who has been driving me around the town and showing me all the "go to" spots. They really do have everything here at this pack. A mall, schools, whole neighborhoods, sports grounds, an ice-skating rink and a few clubs. Ray drives into the parking lot now and parks the car in one of the open spots. There seems to be a lot of cars here.

"Yeah, sorry. My mind drifted."

I finally reply and Ray giggles. She does that a lot. For such a badass looking chick, she really does have a soft, teddybear personality.

"Thinking about my brother, are you? How was last night?"

She wiggles her eyebrows and I go red at what she is insinuating.

"RAY!"

Nick groans from the back of the car. She flicks him and Lili starts laughing too. Oh, did I forget to mention they joined too for this shopping trip? Apparently, I need as much help as possible. The three of them look like they are best friends and their whole exchange just makes me want to disappear further into the car seat. I have never had friends before. I have never known the feeling of fun WITH multiple people. I unlock the car door and jump out, my feet dragging me closer to the mall so that I can be get this all over with.

"Hey, Tessa, wait up!"

Lili says from behind me. The three of them finally catch up.

"Jeez, for a little wolfless girl, you really walk fast!"

This makes me slow down to a stop. My fists ball. Not from anger, but from the frustration that this is how my life needs to be here too.

"Nick!"

Lili smacks him and reprimands him under her breath. His smile fades as he looks between his mate and me. Ray loops her arm into mine and pulls me forward now again. I can hear Nick and Lili squabbling behind me, though.

"You can't just say that to her, you big tease!"

"Oh, come on, peanut, I was just playing."

They carry on until Ray finally chooses the first shop for me to go into. I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Seriously, Ray? This is a designer wolf brand."

"Oh, come on, Tessa. You are part of the family now and it will be great to see you in something other than this pale, pink crop hoodie and sweats. Besides, I don't have a sister to spoil anymore and my brother gave me his card."

I look at her confused now. What does she mean by that? Lili and Nick catch up.

"What do you mean you don't have a sister ANYMORE?"

I focus on the last word and now everyone just looks plain awkward. Goddess, did Brett, Damon and Ray have a sister? Why does it feel like I have really put my foot into it.

"I'm so sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to..."

Ray smiles at me now.

"Goddess, Tessa, there is so much I wish I could tell you, but you are my brother's mate and I really think he ought to tell you the deep, dark and wonderful parts of his life and our family. You understand that, don't you?"

I nod at what she just said. I do understand that. I now offer her a smile, hoping it can get rid of this awkward lump in my throat and the knot in my stomach. All four of us walk into the shop and my eyes scan over a few items. Everytime I see something I like, I look at the price tag and then feel sick. I have never earned a cent of my own in this life and I have lived off of nothing just fine. Why do I need such extravagant things? Ray comes forward with a bunch of jackets, jeans and tops.

"Go try on!"

I can tell I have no choice. I decide to start with a pair of black jeans I like. Ray was good at picking those, but the tops? I feel myself becoming panicked at how ridiculous the tops are. There isn't one in here that isn't either boobtube, revealing, skin tight or some sort of cropped design.

"Are there no t-shirts in the store?"

"Just try them on. Come on."

I roll my eyes again and choose the first one I can. It's a pink top that is form fitting. Although it covers everything in the front, it has almost no back.

"Lets see!"

I sigh again and walk out the changing room. Ray smiles now at me and gets me to turn. It feels like I am on display, as even Lili and Nick observe me now.

"You look stunning!"

Ray beams with pride at her handy work and I look down now.

"Hey? What is wrong?"

I fiddle with the hem of the top. Ray is being so kind, but none of these are my style.

"I just..."

"I don't think the top suits you. I mean, you could pull off anything, but it just doesn't scream TESSA to me, you know?"

Lili chimes in and this makes me look up and smile at her. Ray sees my reaction and then nods.

"Well, let's find you some things then!"

It took awhile, but finally we found things that were my style. Girly, yet comfortable. Timeless classics, yet modern. I smile at the things I chose in the end. They have all been wrapped up into bags which Nick kindly put in the car. My eyes glaze over a few bags which were from shops I didn't recognize or go into and Nick just shrugs.

"Shall we go have lunch then? I am starving."

Lili and Ray look at me.

"Okay?"

They nod and smile.

"What do you feel like? Chicken, steak, pork, Chinese, pizza?"

I stare at Ray blankly now. Lili frowns.

"Italian? Dessert? Goddess, Tessa, what do you like?"

I shrug my shoulders now.

"Bread?"

The two share a look now and I see their eyes glaze over for a second.

"Tessa, have you ever tried anything else?"

I think about their question and then smile sadly.

"Of course I have, but not since my mom left."

Lili nods now and Ray puts her hand on my shoulder.

"What did I miss?"

Nick chimes in from dropping off the bags at the car. They give him a weird look and then quickly smile at me.

"We are giving Tessa her first full board experience today!"

"Oh no."

Nick moans. I look at everyone as if they have grown two heads.

"We are going to start with pizza for starters."

"Ooooo, then maybe we can go have those really yummy steaks as mains?"

"Then what should we do for dessert?"

"Deep fried ice-cream?"

"Churros?"

"Bakery?"

My eyes look around and I see a stand where a lady is dipping little donuts into chocolate. They look so shiny and decadent. Ray follows my gaze.

"Mini donuts it is!"

Everyone laughs and I nod with excitement.

"Ugh, donuts? Seriously?"

Nick complains and Lili pokes him again. Nick gives me a weird look and I feel a little self-conscious. I somehow get the feeling that Nick doesn't like me very much. I shrug it off as we start our enormous eating spree. Just like Ray and Lili decided, we went to all the best places to eat and our final stop was the donut stall. Goddess knows how good that steak was, but I was keeping space for the dessert. My eyes light up as the lady passes a tray of twelve donuts dripping in melted chocolate to me. I stick one in my mouth and can't help but moan out loud, earning a laugh from the girls and an eye roll from Nick. He tries to take one but I pull the tray away.

"You can't be serious? You have eaten enough for three people!"

"These are my donuts."

I stick another one in my mouth while Lili and Ray share from their own tray. He looks to Lili for help, but she is wearing one of those "you deserve it" type smiles.

"Come on, please?"

I smile now and shake my head. He shakes his head and mumbles under his breath.

"Fine, eat them all. Don't blame me if you gain weight and Brett complains."

My whole body stiffens. Lili and Ray drop their donuts onto the tray and glare at Nick now. He didn't say it very loud, yet it was loud enough for me to hear every word.

"What about me, hmm?"

Just frikkin great! Brett appears out of nowhere behind me and is now looking between all of us expectingly. His eyes scan a worried looking Nick and then the girls before quickly giving me a scope. As usual, he doesn't look for long which only bubbles at my insecurities even more. Clearly, Nick knows something about Brett's type and CLEARLY I am NOT it. Brett leans down and sneaks two mini donuts from my tray and pops them into his mouth. I feel speechless and livid.

"You know what? Have them all, Alpha Brett. Share them with Nick."

I shove the tray into Brett's chest now, not bothering to reply to the shocked expression on his face or the irritated grunt from Nick. They can go shove it where the sun doesn't shine! I hear Ray and Lili calling for me and I hear Lili giving Nick a piece of his mind.

"YOU SAID WHAT TO HER?"

I also hear Brett shouting now. This is all I bother to listen to before storming out of the mall, walking my way past the parking lot and out into the forest. I don't care where I am or where I am going. I just need to breathe and do my own thing. I just need to get some air and re-focus. So much has happened these last few days and I can hardly keep up with everything I have had to face. Goddess, I don't even remember how long it's been since I left...

"TESSA!"

I hear Ray calling for me and it makes my legs speed up. I try jog a little faster down a perfectly paved path in the forest. Seriously? This pack is extra with how perfect it is.

"TESSA, STOP TRYING TO OUTRUN ME!"

I can hear her getting closer and I push myself towards a seat in between the bushes. I know she will catch me, so I may as well make myself comfortable. Tears start to roll down my cheeks now.

"TESSA!"

Ray huffs as she slumps down onto the chair next to me. I am also a little out of breath after that very sudden and crazy sprout of energy. I look up, trying to catch my breath, and notice Lili also walking towards us from far up ahead. She is alone and looks like she is ready to kill someone. Goddess, is she angry with me? It was HER MATE that caused this reaction in me.

"Tessa, are you okay?"

Ray asks me softly. All I can do is watch Lili though. She kicks a bush randomly. I know I am really going to hear it when she gets here.

"Tessa, I know you must be feeling really alone right now, but the thing is..."

Ray carries on, but Lili arrives and interrupts it all.

"I AM SO ANGRY! I COULD SHIFT RIGHT NOW AND KILL SOMETHING!"

Lili takes deep breaths and her eyes flash into her wolf. Okay, she is really upset. I look away from her now. She should stop being so upset with me.

"Look, Lili, I know Nick is your mate, but what he said to me isn't..."

"WAIT, what? You think I am upset with YOU?"

Lili calms down now. Ray looks at me too. I sigh now.

"Honestly, I am just so sick and tired of people saying whatever they want to me and then getting angry with me because I feel something about it!"

The words slip out of my mouth and the two girls become silent and just look at me. I nod now, my emotions taking over.

"Yeah, actually, you know what? I am SICK AND TIRED of feeling like I am just this play thing that everyone can control and manipulate. I have feelings and they matter too! Why does life have to be so ridiculously unfair to me? First I don't get a wolf, then my mother is so disgusted by this that she runs away from the pack and chooses to be a rogue. Imagine that, huh? Imagine your own mother choosing to rather be a filthy rogue than a mother to A RUNT!"

Lili winces at the word I used to describe myself. Ray opens her mouth now to say something but I carry on.

"I remember the first time I was called that. I was at school the day after I didn't shift and I was being teased all day. You can imagine how s**t everyone was towards me after such an event and I just didn't know where to look. Everyone was trying their best to be hurtful, but none of it compared to when the Alpha walked into the class and called me a runt in front of everybody. The name stuck after that and it's because the alpha of Full Moon decided to publicly ridicule me for being the weakest member of the pack. Thats what I am though, right? And now I am that for you guys."

Four watery eyes stare at me.

"I thought I had a friend there. Her name was Aimee, but she deceived me in the end."

Ray finally interjects.

"Tessa, Lili and I have no words, but we would never deceive you. Our pack isn't like that and we just really want to be friends with you. We care for you, Tessa. I know everything is odd at the moment and I know the start with my brother has been odd, but once he comes around, I just know you and him will be inseparable. Goddess, I still can't believe my brother has a mate ag..."

Lili nudges Ray's side and it makes her eat up the last word. I scoff at what she says.

"Pff!"

"What, you don't think that Ray and I will be good friends to you, Tessa? You don't know us either."

"Its easy to say that to someone, but to actually follow through is something else. My best friend at Full Moon ended up walking me to the hardest moment of my life. In fact, the deepest heartache I have felt wasn't when my mate, on my eighteenth birthday f*****g rejected me like I am nothing before banishing me out of embarrassment that I exist. Oh no, it was the fact that Aimee dressed me up, chose my lipstick color and straightened my hair while she wheeled my ass into the forest to get dumped!"

Angry tears roll down my cheek now. Lili and Ray have wide eyes and I HATE the pity swimming over their faces.

"I don't need your pity!"

"Tessa, I..."

I hold my hand up to stop them.

"You know running away from that pack was supposed to be my freedom. Yeah, I know, becoming a rogue is the worst thing possible, but anything is better than living in a place where everybody hurts you. It didn't even matter that my ribs were broken, because the further I ran away from Full Moon, the further it was from the black hole they used to put me into and then laugh at me for. I was caught, met the rogue alpha, got sold to a merchant, traveled who knows how far and then was deposited on your pack grounds like a sack of potatoes you ordered in from some farm."

Silence. The air stills.

"You all keep telling me I am free now. You keep reminding me that you aren't bad and that you want to be friends, but did it ever occur to you how I might feel after all of this? All the steak and mini donuts and shopping bags don't stop me from thinking the same thing over and over in my head. How much did you buy me for? How much was I worth to you all?"

Ray looks away now and Lili looks down. Footsteps echo and through hazy eyes I see Nick looking everywhere but at me. He has a red cheek. To my surprise though, Brett is looking at me now and his lips are in a thin and tense line. His eyes are really dark. How much has he heard? Too late.

"None of that should matter, Tessa. Our pack doesn't see it as buying you. Not any of you. There are things you don't know or even understand. We aren't the bad guys here."

"Oh yeah? Well, perhaps you aren't, but I wouldn't know that, would I? Goddess, imagine my shock when you walk through the door and I realize I have a second chance mate? A mate that is supposed to SEE THROUGH MY SOUL, yet I wake up and he accuses me and even after finding out I am innocent, he can hardly look at me?"

I say this right at Brett. His nostrils flare. Good.

"Tessa, I don't think Brett..."

"You don't know anything about me, little Wolf, and I would suggest you change your tone with me. I am your alpha now."

A sarcastic smirk forms on my lips.

"BRETT!"

Ray looks shocked.

"Or else what? If I am so much to DEAL with, then why don't you just rej..."

"TESSA!"

"I wouldn't say that if I were you, Tessa."

Ray shouts at me now just as Brett gets right up in front of me with a menacing tone. I hate to admit that he looks hot when he is all bothered. His breathing increases as his eyes bore into mine. I can see a lot of emotion running through them, but he has a wall up that doesn't allow me to truly understand.

"Tessa, I can't believe you were going to say that to Brett. After everything you have just shared about being rejected..."

"Yeah, that isn't cool. Surely you couldn't think that was the best?"

Lili and Ray come at me and now it's my turn to be angry.

"Of course you would all take his side!"

I start to walk away from them. The squad of four all staring back at me with upset eyes. Even Nick looks pissed off now. Well, he can suck it!

"Maybe it wasn't cool of me, fine!"

I huff.

"But do you know what is even worse?"

They all look at me now expectantly.

"Finding a beautiful red dress in your mate's cupboard that is two sizes smaller AND THEN having his best friend tell me I am not his usual type."

Ray and Lili look at Brett now, who has an odd moment of confusion before realization dawns in on him about what I am saying.

"Tessa, you cannot truly believe that..."

"It's okay, Brett. Nick couldn't have been lying considering you decided your future Luna would be a petite lady three years ago already, right?"

He looks shocked, livid and sick all in one. Like I have just killed his cat. Nobody says anything now as the air around us becomes seriously stiff. After a few cold moments, I decide to shrug and put it all at rest.

"Well, I will be going back to the pack house now."

I nod and then walk off. That was a crazy moment and Goddess, do I hate confrontation. Still, a small smile creeps up on my face.

For the first time in forever, I feel liberated. I finally got to stand up for myself for the first time in years.