Once Rejected, Twice Denied.

Chapter Eighteen:

TESSA POV:

It feels like a million stab wounds have placed themselves across my chest. We are one hour into this "welcome lunch" and Brett has not looked at me or acknowledged me once since he arrived and noticed Damon's coat on me. To make matters even worse, Damon won't speak to me and everyone else keeps avoiding my gaze, clearly aware now that the future Alpha of the pack has something going on with me.

"Cheer up, girl. This is a good thing."

Ray tries to cheer me up but I just feel terrible. Making people upset has been my thing for the past few years, but making Brett upset, my own mate, is most definitely not. Goddess, the way he said "Don't touch me" as if I am the most disgusting thing in this world. Tears start to fill my eyes. It feels like shards of glass have entered my chest. Brett looks over at me from the other end of the bonfire, his eyes scrutinizing and calculated. He has been talking to this other girl for awhile now. She can make him laugh and look relaxed, yet I make him furious. He doesn't want me. Nobody does...

"I think this was a good and positive day. We achieved exactly what we needed to achieve with Brett."

Ray munches on one of the hamburgers and I give her a "what the f**k" type of look.

"Seriously, Ray? Your brother won't even look at me. He has been speaking to that girl there for the past thirty minutes!"

I huff and my eyes look over at the girl with gorgeously raven hair. She has the most stunning red dress on and it fits her tiny frame perfectly.

"What? That Girl? Pff..."

Ray trails off. Just then, I notice Brett hooking his arms with the girl and walking into the forest. My brow creases together and I feel my anxiety taking over. What the...

"Maybe all of this wasn't such a good idea, Ray."

She looks unsure now.

"You mean playing with my best friend's feelings?"

Nick chips in now. I give him a square look, which he returns. This guy seriously has a problem with me.

"What IS your problem with me, Nick?"

He chuckles now and nods his head sarcastically. This only annoys me more. Nick quickly downs his cola and then looks at me. Lili is tugging at his shirt, but it doesn't seem to be helping.

"MY problem, Tessa, is that I do not want my BEST FRIEND to be hurt AGAIN."

Now I am just confused.

"Why on earth would I hurt Brett? He is my mate!"

I try to explain and Nick shrugs.

"Well, what are you doing here, Tessa? Don't pretend like you didn't come here to make Brett upset. You KNEW he would be affected. Don't you think he has been through enough?"

His words hit me.

"And what Brett is doing to me is fine? I can't come to a party and meet people and make friends, but Brett can walk around with other girls, pretend I don't exist and then deny me at every opportunity he has, hmm?"

Nick's nostrils flare now.

"Yeah? Well, all I know is that JULIA would have NEVER accepted another guy's coat! Have you got no respect? Brett is your f*****g MATE!"

His words cut me harder than words ever have before and for the first time, I realize it isn't only Brett who is holding a flame to Julia. She was and still is everything that Brett and Nick see as perfect and I will never compare. My eyes fill with tears now.

"Nick!"

Lili tries to protest. I can see she is angry with Nick and what he has said, but honestly, I don't want her to fight with him over me, so I shake my head at her. A tear rolls down my cheek.

"I can NEVER be her, can I?"

Nick stops for a second at my question and he looks a little rattled. I carry on.

"No, seriously? I could have been the Moon Goddess herself walking into this pack and I still wouldn't have been good enough for you and Brett. My whole life I have been a runt and now I am worse than that. I am second best to someone who died but WAS the perfect Luna. How do I ever live up to that, Nick? I was cold, so I accepted Damon's jacket. Goddess knows I wouldn't have even frikkin come here if Brett even gave me more than one look."

He is silent now and his jaw is tense.

"At Full Moon they abused me physically, but you know what, Nick? I would rather be thrown into that black pit for 24 hours than continue to face your and Brett's wrath. You hate me so much. I am so sorry that I was mated to your best friend. What should I do? I have dreamed of a mate since I was a-a little g-girl..."

I trail off now as tears take over. Nick is still silently judging me.

"I want to love h-him. I want him t-to love m-me. I w-want..."

I cry into my hands now. Pathetic, I know, but honestly, I am just so tired of this constant confrontation. When will life be a bit easier for me? When will I finally just get to live and be happy with nobody trying to get in my way.

"Tessa, I..."

Nick tries to say, but he stops. Next thing I know, I am being hugged by two very strong arms. To my absolute shock, it is Nick and he is looking down sadly at me.

"Shhhh, it's okay, I am sorry."

He tries to say softly but I just carry on, letting all the emotions of EVERYTHING come out. After what feels like forever, I start to calm down and Nick lets me go and looks at me awkwardly. Lili passes me some water, which I gladly take and then I pull a tissue from my handbag to blow my nose. Goddess, I must look like a wreck right now. Nick frowns at me and, for the first time since getting here, he has a more gentle demeanor towards me. Is Nick ACTUALLY a nice guy with a heart? He has done nothing but make me feel s**t about myself. Maybe there is more to his tough, bad-guy vibe towards me.

"Sorry."

I say softly.

"Girl, you don't need to apologize!"

"Tessa..."

Nick looks at me apologetically and I avoid his gaze.

"Look, I am sorry, okay? It's just..."

Nick thinks for a bit.

"It's just that Brett has been through so much and it's been really difficult for me to watch him battle through it all. It wasn't anybody's fault that Julia died the way she did, but I just don't want to ever see my best friend go through that type of hurt again. Honestly, it scares me shirtless that my Alpha and best friend has been given a second chance, because if anything were to happen again..."

Nick doesn't finish the sentence and I can see by the way he squeezes his eyes together at the end there that it would really be bad. If, for whatever reason, Brett fell in love with me and then something happened, it would be the end of him and this pack would need to face the consquences. It makes me think about how everyone here has had to be at Brett's side since Julia died. They have all been picking up after him for three years now. No wonder I have been received weirdly by everyone.

"Nick..."

He looks up at me.

"It isn't me who is denying this bond. Yes, I shouldn't have put on Damon's coat, but at the end of the day, it is me who has been denied a chance. I am just trying to make friends and blend in. I haven't had friends before. I don't know what it is to come to things like this or exist in a world outside of my under-the-stairs room. Brett doesn't want me as a mate or a friend and I don't know what to do about it."

Nick nods now and clears his throat as he looks down at Lili, who is smiling sadly at him. When he looks at me, I see he has a new look in his eyes. One which says he is finally in MY corner too.

"I will try, Tessa."

I nod now and smile at him. I know what this means and, honestly, I am thankful. Nick would try and knock sense into Brett's head. I feel my skin starting to prickle with a feeling of weird unease. A little pain starts to bubble in my chest and my eyes shoot to the forest where Brett disappeared with the girl. Nick follows my gaze and his jaw stiffens.

"I guess me trying starts now."

With that he gives Lili a quick kiss on her cheek and walks away from us. The pain gets a little worse and I feel myself holding onto my chest.

"I d-dont under..."

My lip wobbles now as I am gripped with agony. Lili is smiling sadly at me. Ray comes running to me with a worried look.

"Don't worry, Tessa. Nick will sort it out."

Sort what out? I don't understand. Pins and needles spread over me and its not the good kind. Is Brett causing this? Why would he? The last time I felt a pain like this was when Keith rejected me. My eyes widen now as I try to breathe. Ray hands me some water.

"Drink, Tessa."

Tears roll down my cheeks.

"I don't understand. Why is Brett r-rejecting me?"

My voice becomes strained. Ray and Lili look at one another now with what seems to be guilt and uncertainty. Ray looks awkward even while Lili is more on the pissed off side.

"Uhm, because he isn't rejecting you..."

Ray trails off now and looks at Lili again. Why do they look so worried? I can see them mind linking.

"I d-dont..."

"HE IS CHEATING ON YOU!"

It slips out of Lili's mouth so quickly, that I hardly have time to comprehend what she is saying. Ray looks at me now with panic and Lili is holding her hands to her mouth. Her whole face has gone red.

"Wha..."

"I am sorry, Ray, but your brother is cheating on her and I think she deserves to know it. Mates don't f*****g do that! If Nick did something like this I would have cut his balls off!"

Another wave of pain hits me and now I feel nauseous on top of it. Brett is cheating on me, as in he is currently with another girl? A ripple of dread sets in. The girl with the red dress and big boobs and tiny waistline was walking hand in hand with him into the woods. I look at the trees where he disappeared now. Ray and Lili are having some argument over telling me what was happening. Clearly, Ray didn't want to and Lili did. Honestly, I don't care because all I can think about is the fact that Brett can't look me in the eyes, avoids me, denies the bond and then asks me to not touch him, but he can get it on with someone else? Someone who isn't his mate BUT IS ALSO NOT JULIA.

"Excuse me."

My feet start to pull me to the tree line.

"Tess..."

I feel an arm try stop me but I tug it off. I need to see for myself. It doesn't take me long to wander through the trees. I can hear Ray and Lili calling me from behind, but I don't listen to them. I know this is a bad idea, but I just have to see it for myself. As I walk through the trees, I start to feel him before I can see him and a few more steps forward and I can hear Nick.

"f*****g stop man. Both of you put some clothes on before someone comes here!"

"I AM YOUR ALPHA!"

I walk past the bush that is hiding them and when he finally comes into view, I feel myself stop. His button shirt is open and his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. My eyes move now to the girl. Her hair has gone wild and she is busy pulling her dress back down her legs. One of her straps is still down. She sees me and smiles, before wiping her lip. I shoot my gaze back to Brett, who is now zipping up his pants in what seems to be panic.

"Tessa."

I shake my head, my eyes filling with tears and my heart thumping out lumps of pain in the process. I start to back away from the horror story that just unfolded in front of me. A horror story that involved something even more painful than what Keith put me through. I turn now and start to jog away from it all. Lili and Ray are waiting for me by the cars and when Lili sees me she starts up the car and motions for me to jump in.

"TESSA!"

I can hear him running after me, but why should I stop? For so long I have been the meek and mild girl with no wolf. People have trampled all over me, treated me how they want and made me feel like trash. I feel the pain causing my heart to harden. I will not be that girl anymore.

"TESSA, I SAID STOP!"

Brett roars now as I try to close the car door. He puts his hand in between and stops it from closing. Nick is right next to him.

"TESSA, SPEAK TO ME."

He sounds panicked. I manage to keep my tears under control as I take a deep breath in. No more Miss nice girl. She is gone.

"I didn't need to see anything, Brett. I felt it all. I felt how you were CHEATING on me. I thought you couldn't let another girl in because of Julia. That's what you said, right?"

I laugh sarcastically now.

"Now I see it for what it really is. It isn't women in general. Its just me. You can't let ME in. What is it, huh? I'm not pretty enough for you? I am wolfless and that makes me too weak for you? I am pathetic and shy and washed up?"

Brett blinks at me now.

"I may be all of those things, but you know what? At least I am not a cheater. At least I am loyal, honest, forgiving and I would NEVER hurt someone who I am supposed to love unconditionally. I would NEVER o what you have just done to me."

"WHAT THE f**k IS GOING ON HERE?"

Damon runs into the space and Brett moves his hand. I use this as my opportunity to slam the door shut and I lock it quickly. Brett notices and tries to open the door anyway.

"TESSA! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Drive, Lili."

The car rolls away with Brett freaking out and Nick and Damon trying to control him.