General Sterling

I was Born Without Honor

Chevelle- Send The Pain Below

Edwardian: 

    Listening to my mom talk about today's council and how Raj is killing it, is adorable. It might be the pregnancy or the former blood but I'm in a good mood. I've finally eaten. I can feel my energy returning. I can feel him moving around inside of me. He already has a loud presence. I can't sneak up on anyone no matter how much I try to isolate my aura. He's not developed enough to have an actual form yet. 

    "You seem to be doing better," Lip leaned a little over to me as Raj told my mom a story about Lucifer and Lilith. 

    "I am," I nodded. 

    "This is good. I know you're sympathetic to all beings, but this is not about you," 

    "It's the only reason I agreed to it," I shrugged. "What about you? How are you two doing?" 

    "Daegon and I are looking for a crystal strong enough to hold my power in hers. I can feel it already. It's intoxicating in a way. Savage. Nothing like her. It's like she has some kind of monster inside. Something probably as strong as us when we are together too long," 

    "Yeah, she's something else. It was her who supplied the power to reactivate the leylines," I glanced over at him. He's worried and if it weren't for the situation at the moment, I would be obsessed with her for both our sake and her survival. 

    "You know what too much can do to a vessel," he sighed. "We can contain it with the strongest crystals but it's not-" 

    "I'll stay close. We won't lose her. That I can promise," I placed my hand on his. He smiled at me and knocked his knuckle on my head lightly.

    "We always think of something," he nodded. 

    "What are you two scheming over there?" mom interrupted us. 

    "An uprising," Phillip smirked. 

    "Against your own people?" Raj'ziel giggled. 

    "Yes, we want them to get rid of us so the two of you can elope and we can all live the rest of our lives peacefully," I rolled my eyes. They all laughed. It honestly doesn't sound like a bad idea. Lip and I looked at one another probably thinking the same thing and laughed. 

    "I have been dying to bombard you with questions about your pregnancy," Raj beamed. 

    "I'm sure whatever I can't answer my mother can," I nodded. 

    "What do you feel?" she burst with excitement. She jumped into the seat next to my brother and made herself comfortable. We both laughed at her enthusiasm. 

    "I honestly don't know how to describe it. It's demanding. It's like he thinks of something and boom I feel obliged to comply. He's hungry. I'm hungry. He's restless, I'm restless. He's not even here yet and he gets his way already," they all laughed. 

    "You're not going to name him Armadian are you?" she snickered.

    "Oh no. That's a terrible name," I shook my head. 

    "Agreed," Ava chuckled. 

    "Okay. how long are you going to be pregnant?" 

    "It depends on him," my mom answered. "Edy and Lip took seven months. However, Kat took ten months. Dom and Cas took eleven," 

    "Why do you think that is?" Raj asked turning her attention to my mom. 

    "It's based on their regenerative abilities. Because Lip and Edy are male and female, they were able to feed off one another's blood in the womb. They grew at a faster pace. Even as infants, once they had teeth, they'd bite one another all the time. It accelerated their growth and power. It was one of the reasons why we sent Armad away," 

    "Wow," she took a deep breath and let out slowly. 

    This is news to me, however, I understand the logic behind it. My development must have been too much for his senses as a male. His body must have responded to me while I was still a kid. He could have hurt me. Purebloods of his kind all run on instinct. They want things more demandingly than the rest of us. Not to mention our age gap. Even at my age now, I would still be considered a fledgling if I wasn't as strong as I am because of the succubus traits from my father. 

    "Have you thought of a name?" my dad asked when Raj didn't ask anything else. 

    "Armad liked Damian. After his grandfather. Damius Sterling. Damian in honor of my second origin," I answered. "It doesn't sound as bad as Armadian or Edwardian," 

    "That's for sure," Raj laughed. My mom looked over at her with a playful glare. "Oh, come on Lady Milly. Why?" 

    "It was my father's name," my dad answered her. 

    "Ahh," she screamed, startling all of us. "I am so happy you brought up your dad. You are supposed to be the first. I thought that meant you might be related to my father and came to be because of my grandfather," 

    "No, he didn't create me," my dad sighed. 

    "You don't have to talk about it if it makes you sad," she smiled at him. 

    "I want to know," I interjected. His eyes met mine and he smiled. 

    "I am the first here. The first incubus of earth or rather the garden," he shrugged. "I was born on a moon named Incubra. We had our own beliefs, our own goddess, and when he came. She failed to protect us. My father, the king of our region attempted to negotiate with the angry god. The best he could do was take me and Alorian to ensure the survival of our race. She's the first Succubus in the garden," 

    "How did the races multiply the way they did if you didn't mate with her?" Lip asked. 

    "He made more of us using our flesh. It's why we're all alike. Angels, Vampires, Wolves. He took two of each and recreated combinations of us to give us numbers. See, originally, we were brought here to eradicate the beasts from the other moons he wasn't able to control. The ones that weren't as civilized as the rest of us," 

    "The first was brought here to kill the other beings from Purgatory?" Ava asked.

    "Yes, those things are what was left of the destroyed moons. We did kill most of them, but the ones that were left, we couldn't kill. They're savage beings. More than anyone of us can ever be and we've done some ugly things," he took a drink from his glass. 

    "No more," I shook my head. Remembering those things as they were pulled back into Pandora's box was frightening enough. I don't want to hear what they did if my dad thinks they were gross I can't imagine what they did. 

    Right on time, General Darius and Major General Darius walked in with the man who was turned by one of Armad's formers. I excused myself and followed them out. I can hear them talking about how unhealthy it is for me to be around my mate's former lover. They might be right. I'm starting to get attached to her. 

    "Apologies for the interruption, my lady," Ada bowed. 

    "It's fine, Ada. We're past pleasantries. What do you guys have for me?" 

    "I've gotten in contact with Prince Alexander-"

    "What the f**k does he have to do with the baby?" Ava interrupted her. I looked over at Ava surprised by her outburst. 

    "He mentioned something that I think could be possible. Before you overreact, Lady Edwardian, I think you should think about the baby," Charliegh spoke up. 

    "Alright," I laughed. "Go on," 

    "The heir to the Sterling covens is a male. Not much younger than you," Ada whispered. I looked over at Ava. 

    "You're the heir of the Sterling covens," I pointed at her. 

    "There is no such thing as a female heir to the Sterling covens unless the male dies leaving his female in charge as my father did. My purpose in Aleksander has nothing to do with the covens," she shook her head. "I'm not aware of any heir being born. Armad was the rightful heir. Since he was mated to you, your second born would have had to take the responsibility of the covens," 

    "It's the only rule that wasn't irradicated when the General reformed Aleksander," Adaliegh informed me. I looked over at her, feeling the rage in me swirling inside my body. I can barely breathe. My body is trembling. The ground is starting to shake. 

    "E," Ava looked around. The others walked out of the dining room. 

    "What I'm hearing is that Armad has a secret illegitimate son somewhere out there?" I growled at them. 

    "Oh, my fangs," my mom gasped. 

    "Where is he?" I demanded. 

    "E, you have to think of this as a blessing of sorts," Ava stood in front of me. Lip reached for my wrist stopping me from hurting her. She stumbled away from me. 

    "A blessing of sorts?" I asked without pulling out of my brother's grip. I probably can't even if I tried. "Would it have been a blessing of sorts if you went to Aleksander and found that Alex has a son without you knowing?" 

    "I get you're pissed. The laws of-" 

    "f**k you," I growled. 

    "I didn't know either. My mom was the head of the Coven. I didn't, still don't know a single thing about any of them. My place is here," she's angry now. 

    "This is bullshit," I turned my attention to Ada. "You don't seem all that surprised," 

    "I'm not," she answered. "We're not the kings or queens of our race, Lady Edwardian. We all have a role to play to ensure the survival of our race. Vampire laws are exactly as they are and we have a responsibility to our own houses. Not just our race. Should it be required of me to let go of my titles for my coven, I would. If they wanted me to give them an heir. I would. Armad was no exception to those laws because he's your mate. With all due respect, Lady Millianne was the only pureblood to break that law under the premise of who the hell is going to stop her," 

    "She's not wrong," Mom came over to me. None of it is calming me "More than anyone in the room, I know what you're feeling. Edwardian, Ava is right. This is a blessing. The boy has the power of the King and he can give you what you need to ensure Damian's future," the anger flipped. I hate being in this unstable state of emotions. I want nothing more than to curl up and cry in my coffin. Hearing her say his name is killing me inside. "You told me that killing your brother and his siblings would change the fate of those they touch. They're here because they're meant to be here," 

    "Don't throw my stupid words back at me," I wiped my eyes. 

    "Had Armad not followed the laws of our people. Your people, Damian would be doomed before he had the chance to fight for himself," she placed her hand on my belly. 

    "I need some time alone," I backed away from them. Phillip let me go. 

    "Edy?" Raj called after me as I made my way out of the manor. 

    I can't hide my wings anymore. It makes me itchy, so everyone is staring at them as I made my way out of Duke Mountain. I'm getting a lot of curious glances but I don't have it in me to start s**t with them about it right now. 

    I was mated to a complete stranger. I never really knew Armad. We never really opened up to one another. Our mating was rushed. We ended up bound to one another out of the duty we have for our people not because we had actually wanted it. Our mating was purely based on this stupid f*****g connection and our responsibilities. I hate all of this. Now more than ever, I hate being part of all of this. 

    "Oi," I stopped walking feeling a little winded and turned around to see Abaddon coming over to me. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "You look like you're about to be sick," 

    "I'm fine," I waved him off. 

    "You're not, kid. You know being mated to your sister doesn't stop us being friends, right?" he smirked. 

    "Yeah," I nodded swallowing the urge to regurgitate the food I had eaten. 

    "We're waiting on Hazel to open the portal. She should be here in four hours. I have time to kill," he shrugged. "Is it the baby? You still haven't found the right Sterling?" 

    "I think we did," I sighed. 

    "Does he look like him?" he smirked. "What's the problem?" 

    "I don't know," I shook my head. "I haven't met him," 

    "Are you scared?" 

    "He's Armad's son," I answered looking up at him. 

    "Oh," he looked down at me a little in shock. "You're sure?" 

    "No, not yet. There's a probability that he's not. But then I'd be f****d. Well, my son would be f****d. I just-" I turned away feeling the tears fill my eyes again. "Armad is gone. I feel like I lost a piece of my soul. This pain is all I feel all the time and I didn't even know him," 

    "E," he placed his hand on my shoulder. 

    "The Armad I know is nothing like the Armad Ada remembers. To me, he was power. He was intelligent, diligent, the perfect soldier, and the voice of reason. He taught me how to take my place, he taught me how to silence my mind so that I can get what was required of me done. I am everything I am because I followed his lead. He showed me what I wanted to see and nothing more," 

    "Edwardian, Armad gave you want you wanted not because he didn't want to open up to you. Your mating was forged in war. The people first, remember?" he wrapped his arms around me. "I know what it feels like to lose a mate. It's lonely. It feels like nothing is ever going to make sense again. 

    "Questioning everything is a natural response to your grief," he let me go and turned me to face him. "Armad loved you. There is nothing he wouldn't have done for you. If he were here, he'd probably be telling you everything. He'd be spending time with you and he would be happy to know he would soon be a father. 

    "This is unexpected, but it's exactly the kind of weird s**t Armad would do to ensure you had everything you need even if he wasn't going to be part of it. No male has given as much as he did. I know that for a fact. He's been trying to be worthy of your hand from the moment he found out you were his. Being angry at him is kind of-"

    "Stop, so what am I supposed to do? Accept the f*****g kid who by the way is a few years younger than me, because he was doing his job as the Vampire General?" I laughed. "Did you hear what just came out of your mouth? I'm not doubting his intentions, AB. I don't know a single thing about him. I have every right to be f*****g livid. He's a f*****g ass hole," 

    "Yeah, that he is," he nodded. 

    "You have that in common with him," Raj stepped down next to me. Abaddon rolled his eyes at her. 

    "Ziel," he reluctantly bowed at her in respect for her position. 

    "You can't just run off like that, princess," she scolded me, completely ignoring him. "I'll let it slide this time because that was painful to watch. I can only imagine what you're feeling," 

    "I don't owe him s**t, Abaddon," I shook my head. "He didn't do any of this for me. Fate made him worthy. What he did was because that's who he was. Everything he did, he did for himself. For his honor. I was born without honor. I don't need the validation of my clan to be who I'm supposed to be. Everyone wants me to understand that he had responsibilities. I have responsibilities. I have beliefs too. Do I not deserve understanding? Do you f*****g understand that I want nothing more to have him here so I can kill him myself?" I growled. "Do you not understand that his suffering is over? That mine is just beginning and it's starting with my mate's secret son! He knew who I was when he was conceived. Where the hell is his honor now?"