CHRISTIANO

Thirteen

Carina

I left Marco's room so fast you'd think the devil was on my heels. I can't believe he's not my husband and much less that I slept with him before verifying that small detail. How could I be so stupid as to think he was my husband? He's never worn a ring or acted as if he was married. Why did I come to that conclusion? And why was he being so nice? Dammit, I want the earth to open up and swallow me. He must think I'm an i***t. Using my coat, I cover myself up so no one will recognize me and rush to my room, only to find Gianna and Simona there.

"I did the most stupid thing" I say shaking. My embarrassed ass wouldn't allow me to borrow Marco's clothes since it would mean seeing him again when I return them.

They give me weird looks and I have to wonder if they can read my mind. Can they see what I did? Don't get me wrong, having s*x with Marco wasn't bad. Actually, he's really good. I would totally be up for it again. That body is to die for, don't even get me started on how blessed he is in terms of length and size. My traitorous body clenches at the thought of having him inside me again. But my brain reminds me just how stupid I was. The reason I ended up in Marco's bed was because I thought he was my husband. Not because I like him or wanted to sleep with him. The fact that we're not married is what makes me feel like I've committed a sin since he confirmed that I was indeed married but not to him. Christiano De Luca? Jesus christ, my head is going to explode.

"Why are you so wet? What happened?" Simona asks.

I drop my coat and immediately start stripping "Well, for starters, I went in the water hoping that by staying under for maybe a minute it would jumpstart my memories"

"Did it?" That from Gianna who shoots Simona a look.

"Of course it didn't...."

"Only you would think something like that would work. Jeez Carina, are you really that stupid?"

"That's not all. Do you want to hear the rest or get out of my room?"

"Sorry your highness. Continue"

I ignore Simona's sarcastic ass because I really need them to know what happened "So I'm underwater then all of a sudden, someone pulls me out"

"Marco?" The ask in unison

"Yeah. He thought I was trying to kill myself so he took me to his room to change"

"Tell me you at least had some wild s*x with him before coming here" Simona asks excitedly

"Correct. I thought...." Their screeches are so loud that I move to the closet to find dry clothes and leave them to calm down.

"Oh my God, spill it girl. How was it?"

"Gianna, you should be asking how big he is. Like somebody can't be that huge and have a small d**k. It would be unfair"

"You're right. He has to be loaded. Do you think he'll be interested in a threesome or something?" They giggle like little girls.

"You guys are disgusting"

"Please, that kind of body is meant to be used. I'd let him f**k me anywhere, anyhow"

"Damn, now you got me thinking of all the things I'd like him to do to me" Gianna shifts on her feet and I kind of understand her. I'm embarrassed but I still want to go back to Marco's room so he can make good on his promise of starting with his tongue.

"Are you guys done day dreaming?"

"Will you keep him? Or are we allowed to try our luck?"

"Why Simona? What about your boy toy?"

"I can handle them both"

"Aren't you being greedy?"

"For the well-being of my body, I have to be greedy Carina. We aren't as lucky as you"

"Is that so?"

"Yes"

"So when were you going to tell me that I'm married? To Christiano De Luca?" At that they freeze.

"Did you remember? You said going underwater didn't work"

"It didn't. Marco told me. I slept with him thinking he was my husband but it turns out he's not and that I actually have one. Where the f**k is he? And please tell me I married another De Luca and not the one we know. He's not Padre's enemy. Right? Tell me I didn't escape from one psychopath just to marry another" great. The fact that I married De Luca just sunk in and I'm having a meltdown.

I'm also thinking that anyone who calls me stupid wouldn't be wrong. If not stupidity then why would I marry De Luca? He's just like Padre. They are cut from the same cloth. Knowing that, how could I have done it? There's no way I tied myself to that moron willingly. They must have forced me. That's the only explanation I can come up with right now.

"Did you all stand aside and watch Padre force me to marry his enemy? Is that what happened?"

"Force you? Carina what are you talking about?" Gianna moves to sit next to me while Simona remains standing "No one forced you to do anything"

"So you're saying I married that ugly asshole because I wanted to?"

"First of all he's not ugly. Asshole, definitely but not ugly. And you fell in love with him"

A snort escapes my lips "I fell in love with..." A phone is shoved in my face, the picture of a man standing at the beach occupying the entire screen. He's dressed in white from head to toe and drop dead gorgeous. My heart skips a bit because I can tell he's the man who came to see me at the hospital. The lights were off and I couldn't see his face but I'm so sure it's him "He...."

"Is De Luca. Your husband" Gianna finishes the sentence for me. Taking the phone from her, I swipe left and a photo of a couple pops up. It's me and De Luca kissing. My hands are around his neck while his are on my ass. The position we're in is so intimate that it's clear no one is forcing me to be with him.

"When was this taken?"

"A few months back before you were shot"

"Why didn't you guys tell me anything? Why hide the fact that I'm married?"

Simona sighs "Giovanni told us not to tell you and De Luca distanced himself from you so we figured keeping our mouths shut was better"

"Why did he distance himself from me? Because I forgot who he was?"

"He just found out he's Lombardi's son"

A chill creeps up my spine and Gianna takes the phone from my trembling hands "What? Dam... Damiano is Padre's son"

"They're brothers... Carina are you okay?"

No, I'm not. Finding out I'm married to De Luca is one thing. Him being Padre's son is another. That man was pure evil. He made my life a living hell and at one point I even considered killing him with my bare hands. There was no problem with finding out Marianna's boyfriend was his son because he didn't grow up with him. Damiano is normal. Thanks to Giovanni, he got to live a normal life and wasn't tainted by the evilness of Padre. But De Luca was Padre's competitor. He's as ruthless as Padre, maybe even more. If he really is his son then doesn't that mean he's exactly like Padre? For the first time I wonder if he was the one who forced me to marry him. I know first-hand that photos can be deceiving. My i********: posts portrayed me as a spoiled princess but in reality I was a prisoner, a slave. What's to say the photo I just saw wasn't fake?

"Carina...."

"No. Tell me I didn't escape one monster just to marry another one"

"He's not that bad. You know De Luca would never hurt you the way the Don did"

"Like father like son. Haven't you ever heard of that Simona?"

"De Luca is an asshole for leaving you but you can't compare him with the late Don. Never Carina"

"I don't care. He's Padre's son" jumping up from the bed I say "We're going back right this second so I can ask him for a divorce. I don't want anything to do with Padre or his children anymore" I've decided that leaving will be the best thing. I will do whatever I can to divorce that man then move to some other place and start over. It's time I cut ties with this evil world Giovanni dragged me into.

"She's lost her mind. Gianna, go get Paulo"

"Yes, get Paulo. Let's all sit down and decide what to do next. Both of you have been with me for so many years but if you want to leave and start over somewhere else then I won't stop you"

"What are you talking about?"

I watch as Gianna calls Paulo and asks him to come to my room. I can't picture my life without them. When I hired them, they promised to follow me forever. But now I realize that they have their own lives too. How is forcing them to stay with me any different from what Padre did to me? They're not prisoners. I want them to know that if they find someone they love or simply want to start over elsewhere, they are free to do so. I don't need them to work for me. Padre is gone and no one in this world will ever force me to do anything I don't want to.

"What's going on?" Paulo asks barging in with Silvano.

"Carina has finally lost her mind" Simona says. I laugh which really isn't helping my case but who cares? I'm happy. I'm free. I can do whatever I want with my life without worrying about angering Padre. If I want to date Marco then I will. If I want to relocate to another place then I will do it because no one is holding me back.

"She wants to divorce De Luca" Gianna adds.

"And start over. Don't forget that. I'm going to leave Italy and...." Where shall I go? This place isn't so bad. I could buy a small house here and start my business. Live like normal people for once.

Paulo takes my face in his hands "What happened? Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Pale Carina. You're pale and scared and seconds away from breaking apart. Your mouth is saying one thing and your eyes another. Talk to me"

"I'm fine..."

"Carina, it's me"

"Paulo...."

"Yes babe, tell me"

Looking up into his eyes, I finally let myself admit that I'm not okay. Ever since I woke up at the hospital I've had this hole in my heart and without realizing it's been getting bigger and bigger. Deep down I know I forgot something important. Clearly it wasn't about my being married, otherwise the hole wouldn't be there anymore. The reason I've been fighting to get my memories back is because for some reason I feel guilty. As if I committed a heinous crime then forgot about it. Whatever it is, I'm terrified of remembering it but I also want to know what it is so I can face it.

"I'm scared Paulo"

"Of what? As long as I'm here, you have nothing to fear"

"I'm scared of my memories, of the reason my brain decided to shut down. I've thought about it a lot and I know it's something bad. Isn't it?"

"Carina...."

"I'm not crazy. I know something bad happened"

"Something bad did happen. Aurelia almost killed you...."

"Oh for God's sake, how long will you keep on lying to her?" Silvano snaps pushing Paulo away "I'm sorry honey but I can't take this anymore. You need to grieve so you can move on"

"Silvano now is not...."

He ignores Paulo and says "When Aurelia shot you, you were pregnant with De Luca's baby. You had a miscarriage"

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Was that necessary? Do you guys think Silvano is right for dropping that bomb? Let me know in the comments section.