In Love with the Sergeant

Not a Little

They give us the rest of the day off to get to know each other and that’s okay I guess, but they won't let us go to the showers, which means I'm stuck with all this dirt until 0500 tomorrow.

I washed my face and arms in the sink again but it's still not enough and my broken Salvatore sandals are just barely holding my feet.

They’re fighting for their life and I relate to them immensely.

Also, nobody wants to be my friend and I don’t even know why. I’m all alone and sad in this big and scary camp.

I've honestly never been to a place where I don't have friends or people who love me. I need someone to support me at all times, specially right now. I need someone to relieve my sorrows with and complain about how much I’ve hated this day and this place.

Around 9 pm we’re all sitting on logs. The atmosphere is getting pretty cool and I finally see Hawke again. He's laughing and doing stupid things with another military man who's just as handsome and doesn't look as perverse as he is.

After some deliberation with my imaginary friends, I decide to fall in love with his friend now.

He's just as tall and muscular as Hawke but with darker hair, blue eyes and adorable dimples on his cheeks when he laughs. I bet he would never treat me like Asher did. Although I bet that insufferable personality is a lie, because when he's not being our superior and giving orders, he actually seems to be nice. From far away, at least.

At 10 pm, we’re instructed to go to sleep. I finally take off my filthy silk shirt, useless now, and my shorts (once white, now brown) equally useless. I slide into bed in my best pajamas and as soon as the lights go out, I start crying.

At the beginning I try to cry as quietly as possible but then I realize that I want these people to know Im sad. I'm alone and suffering and I want everyone here to know.

Maybe that way they’ll take some pity on me.

“For God's sake, shut the fück up!” some boy screams, a few minutes later.

I don't answer, I just cry louder. Let’s see if they try to shut me up again so I can start screaming. Maybe that way I’ll be able to get all of my stress out.

Luckily for them, they don't try to shut me up again, so I calm down a little bit. Im still crying tough, because I cant stop. This is the only thing I can do, cry and cry for hours while I try to form a plan to escape even though I know it won’t be possible, there are armed men everywhere watching every movement.

I miss being home on my comfortable mattress and not on this small, cheap, thin bed with springs hurting my back and squeaking every time I breathe.

I miss having my phone... it's only been a day since it was confiscated, but that's the longest I've been without it. I need to talk to someone who loves me.

All these people seem to hate me and I can't survive without constant attention and affection.

I don't remember when I calmed down, but I know it was early in the morning. People kept moaning and complaining about me and my annoying sounds, but I swear I couldn’t stop.

I feel like I’ve had my eyes closed for exactly three seconds when an annoying alarm exalts me, waking me up completely. The sergeant with the ugly name enters the cabin then, looking like she has been awake for hours.

She turns on the light on the cabin and starts clapping with a lot of energy.

She’s really fücking annoying and look who’s talking.

“Get up, recruits. Showers are from 5 to 5:15. We will be waiting for you in formation. Your new uniforms are outside the bathroom,” She announces, and gets out. I’m so desperate to clean myself that I forget how little I slept and I look in my suitcase for my underwear while everyone rushes to the showers.

I packed my best clothes without realizing I would be given a uniform here. What a waste.

I ignore everyone's nudity and the unsanitary vibe from the showers as I go inside one, with my bottle of wildflower smelling shampoo and my Chanel soap.

I know that people here are not going to appreciate that splendid smell and that I’ll probably start sweating and stinking as soon as I get into formation, but I don’t have any other choice. It’s either waste my expensive supplies or use the generic ones they have here.

The less horrendous option is obvious, even if it does hurt me to waste my Chanel soap.

I open the shower and I instantly scream in horror when frozen water falls on me. I rush out of there but someone pushes me back under the frozen water.

“You have 7 minutes left to go to formation. I won't eat paste because of you, so you better get used to the cold water.”

I don’t know who this is, but I hate her.

“Ugh!” I shake my body so she can let go of me but I listen to her, and try to speed up the cleaning process. People finish super fast and I don’t understand how they do it. All of them are finished already and I still have shampoo in my hair.

“One more minute, princess!” The tomboy who has been harassing me screams while she’s putting on her uniform and then leaves me alone. Fück, I can’t be late again... but if I leave shampoo in my hair its going to dry weird and get damaged.

I rush as hard as much as I can but it still takes me more than three minutes just to dry off and get out of the shower. Then when I go for my uniform, I find the terrible news that there's only one pair of pants left that are too big for me and one shirt that's too small for me. And horrible boots.

I put my hair in a high dripping ponytail and I run to formation, where once again, everyone watches me arrive with reproach.

Hawke is already here, this time in full uniform, which for my misfortune, makes him look even sexier. He walks in front of us and when he passes in front of me, he gives me a look full of antipathy.

“This is your second call. Don’t be late again or yesterday’s punishment will be nothing compared to what will happen to you,” Asher threatens, then keeps walking like nothing happened, “Given your teammate’s interruption yesterday, the correct introduction couldn’t be given, so we’ll complete it today. From now on you are a team. One for all and all for one, which means that you help everyone and expect help from all your teammates, whether you like them or not. And that if someone breaks the rules, the punishment will be applied to everyone, not just that person.”

“The rules are very basic so I will only tell them once. Pay attention,” he continues, with his orgasmic voice full of authority, “No s****l relations under any circumstance. I know you share a bathroom and a cabin, and I don't care. Any kind of s****l encounters will be sanctioned. You’re not animals, control your impulses.”

“We demand absolute punctuality. You arrive at the time you are expected and not a minute later. Today, a teammate of yours broke that rule, so you’ll have a punishment, in addition to the one you won yesterday thanks to the same person. And last rule: don't question any authority. You are a nobody here. You are worthless. I don't care if your parents are rich or powerful. If we say jump, you do it until we’ve had enough, even if it’s a week later. Your tears do not move us, your threats are empty and we have the power to do with you as we please... Understood?”

We all nod with understanding and Asher gives us a sadistic and pleased smile.

The girl with the ugly name finally decides to step forward, “Any questions?” She asks. Some skinny guy raises his hand.

“I do have a doubt... and a complaint. What will our punishments be? And, yesterday, the only teammate who has caused problems here before, didn't let us sleep because she wouldn't stop crying. I want to complain about her. She's problematic and selfish.”

Oh my god, could they be any lamer? Now I can’t even express my feelings without them complaining.

“Yes, excuse me,” I interrupt before anyone else tries to come for me, raising my hand, “I'm the ‘problematic’ human being who wouldn't stop crying last night. I just want to clarify that my crying yesterday was due to the aberrant and humiliating way in which Sergeant Hawke treated me, which I will report to the competent authorities as soon as I return to civilization.”

Stunned silence once again.

“Well,” Asher sighs after a few seconds, “What's your name, recruit?”

“Crystal Angelo, Sir.”

“Thanks to Angelo, everyone will run five miles today. We'll come back for breakfast and later you’ll complete the other punishment, after the activities scheduled for today. If your teammate is problematic, for your own good, try to control her. Everyone will pay together as long as she keeps making mistakes. No exceptions.”

So now I find myself running alongside eleven people who hate me under the hot desert sun. I mean, the sergeant with the ugly name doesn't seem to hate me, but I don't have her complete sympathy yet. She seems easy to win over, tough.

When Asher realizes how far away I am from everybody, he slows down almost completely until he’s running beside me. I would like to say that he’s my inspiration to find my inner fitness goddess and somehow run faster, but that’s not what happens.

I get shy and run slower and Asher starts making sure I know how useless I am.

To be honest, I don't understand why he dislikes me so badly, all I've done is defend myself from what I think is an injustice. That’s not a crime, last time I checked. That’s just me being a libra.

“Come on, it's only been two miles!” He shouts in my ear, jogging beside me without even panting a little, while I'm on the verge of suffocation. Two miles is much more than I have run in all my life put together, “Fück, get yourself together. You look awful.”

I start to slow down because I really cant keep up anymore, “Leave me alone!” I whimper.

My mouth is so dry now, I can't even speak. Hawke doesn't seem happy with that and puts a big hand on my back to push me. In his stupid mind, he thinks this is going to make me run faster.

“No one looks as fücked up as you do. Your physical condition sucks.”

“Stop!” I finally explode, feeling strangely more exhausted than before. My legs start to tremble and my vision becomes blurred.

In less than a second, everything turns black and the nightmare is over.

I died.

➿➿➿

I open my eyes slowly and sigh, feeling like I'm in paradise. The air conditioning has never seemed so comfortable and refreshing before. I suppose it's true that you don't value what you have until you're sent to a miserable camp in the desert.

“Great, you’re awake. It was about time,” I hear someone say. I turn my head and see Sergeant Hawke sitting in a leather chair next to me, playing on his phone. I'm in a hospital, I think, judging by the machines, the stretcher and the IV connected to my pale arm, “Stand up. It's time to go, I lost four hours of my day here just because the little lady dehydrated and fainted.”

“Well, what the fück did you expect?” I exclaim, regretting it almost immediately, when he squints his honey eyes at me, “I mean, what the fück did you expect, Sir? I didn't sleep more than two hours last night. And you physically abused me in the sun for two days in a row.”

“That's not my problem. And I haven't physically abused

“For your own good, I’d like to propose something to you,” Asher says with a sweet voice and a weird smile on his face. If he's already proposing things to me, we're much better off than I thought, “Don't ever talk to me about propositions again, especially not in that tone.”

“But you haven't even heard anything,” I moan, pouting and earning an angry sigh from him.

“I don't need to listen to know what it's all about. Believe me, I am not interested at all.”

My extrasensory female intuition is still telling me that Asher desires me wildly, however… his posture and face filled with disgust should probably convince me otherwise.

If I were the kind of girl who trusts in obvious facts, I would be 100% convinced that he's definitely not interested, but I trust my intuition way more than I trust obvious facts.

That’s why I smile at him the way that usually gets me what I want.

“Well... let's create a little hypothetical situation, shall we?” I ask. Asher sighs with annoyance again, writing furiously on his phone. He only responds by shrugging his shoulders when I repeat what I said, “Okay then. After a very long day of being an evil sergeant and walking around camp humiliating and hurting innocent people, Asher feels tired and lonely on this cold summer night....”

“I think I can imagine where this is going and honestly, I'm not interested…”

“... besides, he can't even remember the last time he had physical contact with a woman and the lack of sëx is beginning to be worrying,” I keep going, ignoring his frown, “Luckily, he remembers that time in the hospital when a splendid and beautiful girl offered to please him and make all his wildest erotic fantasies come true in exchange for a little kindness and preference.”

For the first time Asher runs out of rude words to say to me.

It’s obvious that I’ve surprised him with my words because he even forgets his phone.

Then something happens. Something that has never happened in my long and quite active s****l life.

Asher starts laughing at me.

It's not a small cute laugh, it's a strong mocking laugh that leaves him breathless for a few seconds. I cross my hands in my lap and wait patiently for him to stop laughing and answer me.

I believe with all my heart that involving sexually is the solution to our problems.

Asher is obviously sexually frustrated and, just between us girls, so am I. He’s extremely handsome and I’m extraordinarily beautiful. By the law of nature, we must be together. Furthermore, we are not young, inexperienced children. We’re adults and, as such, a healthy, merely s****l relationship is no big deal.

“Crystal... What, in the fücking demonic world, makes you think that I am attracted to you?” He asks, once he has stopped laughing.

“Well... it's obvious,” I shrug my shoulders, “I'm beautiful.”

If I were any other woman, my ego would really suffer from Asher's denial look right now. I frown and look at him expectantly because… in all sincerity, I don't understand.

Does this mean that he doesn’t want me? Is that even possible? I have never been in a situation like this before.

Well, once. But it’s not the same.

“Are you gay?” I ask, because it seems to be the only viable answer to this incoherent problem. If that's the issue, I wouldn't object to fück him somehow.

“No, I'm not. I'm just not attracted to you,” He shrugs his shoulders, as if he didn't just say the greatest blasphemy of the millennium and puts all his attention on his phone again, “We need to go now.”

He stands up and gives me a pitiful look while he waits for me to stand up. He even helps me disconnect my IV, “I'm going to assume for a moment, hypothetically, that you know how to use your brain and you won't talk to me like that ever again.”

I'm too surprised to say anything, so I just follow him out of my room like a lost dog. We ignore the nurse who advises me to rest and drink a lot of liquids and we enter a dark green Hummer that’s apparently here for us.

Asher's dad came to pick us up. I know because the resemblance is unquestionable, they have the same last name and Asher calls him dad.

It’s not very difficult to deduce.