An unexpected visit
2160 Words
"I thought you could read minds" d**k says aloud as he climbs out of a hole from the sewer. He gets to his feet and dusts his big jacket. He had a serious look on his face.
Lefinna had already gotten out, she turned towards him.
"I tried but I couldn't get in, there is something peculiar about him, it was almost as if he wasn't there" Lefinna answered, she had a blank expression.
"That makes two of us, I tried to use internal scan on him too, no progress, he must be next level cause I kept seeing the space behind him" d**k answers back.
"What do you suggest we do" She asks.
"Ain't it obvious, we are paying a visit to our favorite midget, Redoulp, he should know something about who we just encountered" d**k says removing a device from his jacket.
"Does Sarah know her future groom is reckless with his life a few days to her wedding" she asks, still with a blank look.
"It's best she doesn't, I wouldn't want a creature like Shelly small prick to crash my wedding, Sarah is all I could ask for, she deserves to be happy and that's what I am gonna do" He answers pushing some buttons on the device.
"You might wanna come close."
Lefinna nods as she moves towards d**k.
Dick pushes one more button, a blue light covers the duo and they disappear from the location.
"The last of Larias' minions have been vanquished" Redoulp says aloud maintaining a yoga pose, he was floating a few feet off the ground.
Close to him was Katarina, the vampire leader and Tommy, they had blank expressions on their faces.
"How can you be so sure" Tommy asks, a stern expression now coming on his face.
"Their energy signatures, it has disappeared, though I sensed another strong one but it disappeared almost immediately" Redoulp answers back, he was straining his face.
"Great, I no longer have to make acquaintance with that haughty mortal" The vampire leader says aloud, smiles all over his face.
"Alucard, I thought you owed him a favour" Katarina says smiling.
The vampire's face turns into a frown
"I do hate his guts but I am a man of honor" he mumbles weakly.
"More of a man with a micro-p***s" d**k says aloud from the other end of the room. he had a smug smile on his face and Lefinna was walking right beside him.
Alucard's face turns into a frown.
"I will kill you soon."
"I ain't lying, I can clearly see the book how to grow your p***s in your robes with my internal scan. Looks to me like you and Shelly small d**k got the same talent" d**k says smiling heartily.
"I shall give you a new name, Alu micro-prick."
This causes everyone to laugh except Alucard of course, his face was contorted with anger.
"Well, mortal, you smell as if a thousand skunks flooded your dwelling" Alucard says aloud.
"Yeah, I stink a bit, by tomorrow, I will wash it off and smell nice again but guess what, your prick will always compete with my little finger for height" d**k smirks back.
Red flashes all over Alucard's cheeks, he was clearly annoyed. He faces d**k as he if he wanted to rip him to shreds
"Son of the d**k, is anything the matter" Redoulp interrupts the duo as he hovers towards d**k's direction, he was clothed in overflowing brown robes. It looked like it was dirt that caused the robe colour. As far as Alucard had known him which was almost over a thousand years, Redoulp had never changed his robes, how his body didn't emit a nasty smell was one great mystery.
"We found a gee today, clothed in blue like a skinny stripper, he was immune to my internal scan and Leffy's telepathic abilities" d**k says looking at Redoulp. Redoulp grasps his chin, he appeared to be thinking.
"I take it you don't know the nigga" d**k smirks at Redoulp, Redoulp's face twists into a frown.
"Guess I got to solve this mystery on my own, the d**k style" d**k grins.
Dick turns towards Tommy
"How are things going back at the station."
"Finally, you noticed me, I was beginning to think I was invisible" Tommy grins as he walks towards d**k. d**k smiles back, the two extend a handshake, they appeared to be both excited to see each other.
"Eeewww, you smell worse than Rudy did when we was in eleventh grade" Tommy says covering his nose.
"Yeah, I was taking care of a pest problem" d**k manages to fake a smile.
"You better rinse that stink off, I don't think Sarah will wanna marry a stinkbag" Tommy grins.
"Y'all at invited to my wedding on saturday" d**k says aloud.
"I will definitely not come even if it kills me" Alucard says aloud, he had a smug expression on his face.
"You ain't invited, can't have guys with puny d***s and disgusting bodies at the greatest event of my life" d**k shoots back.
Alucard's face twists as if he was about to cry.
"I shall be taking my leave now" he says aloud. He transforms into a small bat and flies out of the room.
Katarina and Lefinna appeared to be in a conversation.
"You and Leffy could also get married on the same day with Sarah and I, let's have a double wedding" d**k grins.
Tommy let out a mild chuckle.
"Leffy and I decided to take it slow, we definitely getting to the holy matrimony part soon" Tommy answers back.
"By the way, how was the meeting with Sarah's parents, I hear it was really awkward."
"You got no idea, man" The smile on d**k's face had disappeared.
"I knew practically everyone in her family and we didn't have a good history" d**k says out loud with an uneasy grin.
"Remember Rudy, that class jerk who I caught trafficking drugs and had him sent to jail during my time in the police force."
"Yeah, I do, you used to play the most amazing pranks on him, I remember that one time when he was out on the assembly, you set a fart making device on him so it seemed like he was farting, it really cracked everyone up. You totally cranked it up by pouring a huge pile of dump on his face down, best prank of the century" Tommy says, he was clearly laughing, d**k couldn't help but smile too. The prank he had played on the school bully was phenomenal to say the least. Rudy was a mean piece of s**t back in high school, he gave wedgies to all the smaller kids as Rudy was very tall.
He said a lot of racist remarks to the blacks in the school and d**k suffered a lot in his hands, well, d**k returned the favour and ruined his life in the long run.
"Yeah, so what about Rudy" Tommy says.
"Turns out he is Sarah's older brother, the mom really hates me for that, but the dad was nice and all" d**k says aloud.
"Damn, man, you really got a lot of enemies, you busted half the men we got in our local prison, you lucky they ain't vampires or werewolves else you would be really f****d" Tommy smiles.
"Yeah" d**k says
"I gotta get moving, I need to speak with my wedding planner" d**k says removing a device from his pocket.
"Hey Leffy, I wanna start rolling, wanna come along" d**k says looking over at her.
"Go on without me, I will meet you soon" Leffy answers back, she was really enjoying her conversation with Katarina. Either Lefinna had found a way to mask her smell or everyone else was simply insensitive to the terrible odour, no one seemed to notice she stank.
"See you later, man" d**k says as he pushes a few buttons on the device.
"See you too soon" Tommy waves at him.
Dick pushes a button, soon a light appears wraps around him. d**k appears back in his apartment, he had bought the entire building a few months back. He had a few tenants living in the other buildings, that was his major source of income.
Dick looked around the room, it was thrashed as if someone was looking for something, he heard a voice from the kitchen, it was masculine.
Dick creeps silently to his kitchen, he looks through the window, there were two men, they were both very muscular and tall. They were dressed casually and appeared to be looking for something.
"You boys must be in the wrong place, didn't order for balding ugly strippers with no sense of orderliness" d**k says aloud appearing at the door.
"Why, you..." The shorter of the two says aloud as he dashes towards d**k, he throws a punch at d**k but he evades in time, d**k counterattacks as he lands a kick on the man's back, the man falls to the ground with a slump.
"If you don't wanna take a nice nap like your boyfriend here, I suggest you start telling me why the f**k you ransacked my place" d**k says with a calm expression.
The man's face twists into anger as he pulls out a pistol from his waist.
"Are you really gonna shoot me after wrecking my place, your mama didn't teach you manners" d**k smirks.
The man's face twists into a frown as he fires off at d**k's direction, when he had exhausted the bullets in his weapon, d**k gives a mild smile.
"Ooh no, I am dead, I have been shot, I am gonna die" d**k says sarcastically as he uncurls his right hand which was in a fist shape, bullets dropped from it to the ground with a cluttering sound.
"Lemme teach you manners" d**k says as he dashes towards the man, he lifts him by his feet.
"First order of manners, clearing tables" d**k says as he sweeps the body all over the table as If he were some sort of toy.
"Good, now, the table is clean, second order, put on your underwear properly" d**k says as he gives the man an overwhelming wedgie, the man cries in pain as he slumps to the ground.
"Why, you in pains?, I haven't taught you the most important part, hygiene, I shall be using the toilet for that" d**k grins.
"Unless you want to start to tell me what the f**k you are doing in my place."
A flushing sound was heard, soon a man emerges out of the bathroom, he was a tall man of six foot five inches. He was bald and he had a satisfactory grin on his face.
Dick turns towards him.
"Is baldness now the required attribute to be a stripper now."
The man lets out a mild laughter, he walks over to the wine cabinet and pours himself a drink.
"You must be wondering who I am and why I am here" he says aloud taking a sip of his drink.
"I got you covered" d**k says levelling his look at him.
"Indulge me then" the man says as he grins back at d**k.
"These two fools are your bodyguards, they have their fingerprints all over my place while you don't seem to have done any ransacking, instead you are calm. They are dressed casually like you, you must be new in this city seeing the sign on your s**t 'I love NY' based on the way you smiling, you think you got some leverage against me" d**k says without missing a beat.
The man gives out a cruel smile, he was clearly enjoying this.
"Name is Theo by the way, I had a few contacts in this fine city, I heard of some strange creatures appearing in the city a few months ago and I heard you are a real badass so I came here for just one thing."
"What's that."
"I heard you are in possession of a sword, it glows like the sky, that blade is an historical artifact and a scientific wonder, historical artifact being that it is the only of its kind and scientific wonder as it could damage any strange creature, I would like you to get it for me" Theo finishes as he empties the drink in his cup.
"And if I don't" d**k says maintaining a blank expression on his face.
"I hear you getting married on Saturday, you wouldn't want your wedding crashed, also, I got a few boys monitoring your lovely bride to be" Theo says getting up to his feet.
He snaps his fingers, soon the two men on the ground get up and move towards the door, one of them opens it.
"I give you forty-eight hours, else, your bride's gonna miss the wedding" he ends as he exits the room. The two men follow him.
"This keeps getting better" d**k mutters with a sarcastic tone.
- Writer
