THREE RULES OF FIRST DATE! (1)
989 Words
Ding Ding Ding, the order has been accepted!
I jolted when I heard the notification from the app. This app really gave you a heart attack with its loud and embarrassing notification.
"So Handsome Meng God really accepted the order... "
…
"I'm not going to jail, right?"
***
I spent the rest of the day scrolling down on the online stores for eye cream and charcoal masks. It was strangely nerve-racking for me, even though I was the one who ordered Handsome Meng God as a rental boyfriend.
I returned home with eye cream and a charcoal mask in my bag. I unlocked my apartment door and saw a woman was already lying on the rug with a boxer and loose shirt. She was munching on pizza while watching a k-drama.
But what shocked me the most was the amount of crumbs she got on my floor and the pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.
"Shi Qiang? Why are you here?"
Shi Qiang glanced in my direction and shrugged, "My boss has a date with someone right now, so I cannot interrupt."
"Then… Why are you here? Go rest in your own apartment, ah! Don't you see I'm busy?" I yelled.
Shi Qiang finally shifted her glance at me and observed for a moment. "Ying Jie, I often crash your apartment, and you would join me. But you seem to be on edge today. What's bugging you?"
"Urgh, it's because of that app!"
"What app? Rent A Boyfriend App?" Shi Qiang's interest finally peaked, and she rolled like a seal towards me. "Did you finally order someone to be your victim--I mean, to be your boyfriend?"
"I heard that, Shi Qiang," I squinted. "And yes, I found a cheap rental boyfriend, can you imagine, 100 Yuan for the whole day!"
Shi Qiang's eyes widened, "THE WHOLE DAY?!"
"Yes!" I replied excitedly.
"Let me see his profile!" Shi Qiang asked. I showed Handsome Meng God's profile, and as expected, Shi Qiang's excitement turned into a flat face and then a frown. "Ying Jie, you are getting trolled by a random man."
"No, no, believe in your sister, Shi Qiang! This app guarantees that all rental boyfriends are real people! They have been verified!" I insisted.
"Ying Jie, you know there is no nine years old that is allowed to use this app, right? Either his Handsome Meng God is a billionaire with too much free time or random basement dweller p*****t that wanted to prank you," Shi Qiang said. "And the latter one is probably the right answer."
"Don't jinx me like that!" I denied. "No, no, I believe that my rental boyfriend is just a totally regular dude. Maybe this is his first time jumping into this rental boyfriend business. Maybe he is around my age, or maybe slightly older—"
"—Or he could be a young billionaire with too much free time, who invest in this Rent A Boyfriend app, and registered himself as a joke. Who would've expected a total cheapskate woman to actually order him despite the suspicious signs." Shi Qiang snipped. She giggled and put potato chip on top of her pepperoni pizza.
"Yeah, that would never happen," I rolled my eyes. "This is not a novel where I will suddenly meet a billionaire or billionaire's son via a boyfriend rental app for whatever reason."
"How cool would that be, though? I'd love to read a story like that," Shi Qiang laughed. "I'd definitely support an author who writes a book like that."
…
…
"Aish, enough with this nonsense! Shi Qiang, you must help your Jie!"
"Huh, help with what?" Shi Qiang frowned, still munching that potato chip pepperoni pizza.
"You have many ex-boyfriends back then. Tell me how to do the first date!" I requested.
Shi Qiang was very popular in high school and still had many admirers. She was the prettiest out of us sisters and had many dating experiences.
Compared to me, we were like beauty and the beast. She was the beauty, and I was the beast that would smack a boy who dared to approach my little sisters.
"Ah, I miss our childhood," I reminisced. "I was a wild tomboy back then. Usually, I would be the one who beat up the bullies!"
"Jie… you are the bully…"
"What? I never beat up random kid!"
"But you make that petite girl your lap dog," Shi Qiang mentioned. "Remember that petite girl? Uh… what is her name again, MengMeng?"
"Ah… MengMeng…" I still had few fond memories with that petite girl who was probably a few years younger than me. "Well, MengMeng is very cute and beautiful. I wonder where she is now. It's been like… almost fifteen years since she left our village. What a pity, she can be a perfect sweet wife."
"… Ying Jie, your lesbian soul is showing," Shi Qiang said nonchalantly.
"I AM NOT A LESBIAN!"
Shi Qiang shrugged nonchalantly, "Well, maybe this Handsome Meng God is MengMeng? They have the same 'Meng' in their name. Who knows."
"Shi Qiang… MengMeng is a girl. If she does something like this, she will join rental girlfriend instead."
"Yeah, you're right," Shi Qiang ate her last potato chip pepperoni pizza slice and drank cola. She burped loudly. She ate the whole large pizza with two packs of potato chips, cola, and two chocolate bars.
"Ah, that's a good snack before dinner," Shi Qiang commented while patting her flat belly. Shi Qiang was that type of girl who would eat like a dump truck but still look like a mini cooper.
"Okay, Ying Jie, let me teach you three rules of a first date!"
"Wait, before that, wash your hands and clean my rug first," I interrupted.
"Huh? Why?"
"Seeing you eating like a dump truck hurts my feelings, goddamn it!"
- Writer
