Four Alphas and Me

Chapter 8 : Complicated Feelings

“Stay in your room, Kain!"

“Why?"

“I'm changing!"

“In the living room? Livy!"

“Just stay there!"

“O-okay…"

I pulled out a hidden camera from under my bed. Ever since I'd decided to keep an eye on the people around me and my family, I'd purchased some necessities in advance, such as bugs, hidden cameras, GPS, and counter surveillance tools. That way, they would come in handy if I ever needed them, like right now.

I set two cameras up so that together they could monitor the entire first floor. No visitors could come to my house without me knowing what was going on.

As soon as that was done, the alarm on my phone rang.

“Crap, I'm almost late for school!"

I got ready as fast as I could and ran straight out the door.

As the morning breeze blew on my face and the chill air ran through my lungs, I slowed down my pace. Did I really just escape from the house, from Kain? I let out a heavy sigh. Perhaps I needed to put a little space between me and him for the time being.

I was hoping that after I got to school I would be distracted from my thoughts of Kain. The reality was the other way around. The image of me tripping and falling on top of him played over and over in my mind for almost the entire day.

I still felt the sting of burning embarrassment on my cheeks. His chest had been so broad, and warm, and hard, but his grip and his gaze were gentle and soft. I could still feel the temperature from his bare skin....

Every time these thoughts came into my mind, I had to pinch and scold myself. He was my adoptive brother. We grew up together and he had only ever treated me like a little sister. It was crazy and extremely inappropriate for me to think about him in any kind of flirty or romantic way.

The only way I could rationalize doing it at all was because, for me, it had been years since I'd been this close to Kain.

In my last life, a year after we got to Kirlend, Kain had gone missing. After that, I never got any more news about him, until right before I died, when Cecilia and Astrid told me he was dead.

It must be that I had really missed him and grieved for him, and now just felt sentimental and emotional having him back again. I wasn't used to it, and I couldn't take his presence for granted like I used to.

Some distance was definitely needed before things got any more awkward between us. If I took a break from constantly being around him, it could help to get my mind right again. The only challenge would be… we lived in the same house.

Over the next few days, I got ready for school earlier than necessary in order to catch the bus. When I got home, I did my homework and ate dinner when Dad was around, and went to sleep before Dad went to bed, so that Kain and I wouldn't have to spend time alone.

I was finally getting used to my new routine.

***

“Livy!" Kain called out to me as I was making my way to the door, heading to school.

His voice was like a sudden roll of thunder in the dim light of early morning.

I was so startled that I dropped my bag and clutched my hands to my chest. He turned on the light and I squinted as my eyes adjusted.

“Kain, I thought you were asleep. Why are you awake?"

“I have not seen or talked to you much this week. Livy, why are you avoiding me?"

He walked toward me. With each step closer, it felt as if the air was thinner, and it became harder for me to breathe.

“Are you upset with me? Did I say or do something that upset you?" he pressured.

His gray-blue eyes were wide with concern. I took a steadying breath and realized that I had been so silly.

“No," I assured him. “I'm not trying to avoid you and you didn't do anything wrong," I promised. “It's coming up on exams at school and I really want to buckle down and get more serious, especially with college right around the corner."

It was the best excuse I could think of, and I was relieved when his face relaxed into an understanding smile.

“Don't be hard on yourself, okay? I've seen how committed you've been, Livy. You're going to do just fine. I have faith in you."

He rubbed my cheek gently. Unable to form words, I nodded my head.

He lifted my bag from the floor and carried it to the kitchen.

“Come on, I'll flip some pancakes and bacon for you and then take you to school. When was the last time you had a decent breakfast?"

My stomach growled, letting him know that it was an offer I couldn't refuse.

I was surprised by how happy and content I felt having breakfast with him and then riding to school together. It had only been a few days, but I'd missed his company.

“Since you've been studying hard, you should take a little break. What do you have planned for the weekend?"

Without thinking it through, I confessed, “I don't have any plans."

“Well, we are going to make some. School is putting too much stress on you. Why don't we go to the movies?"

I took in a breath as I tried to quickly think of a reason to decline his offer.

“You can't make up any excuses," Kain said. “I'm your brother and I know when something is wrong. I just want to help, Livy. I can see that you are carrying some burdens and I want you to know that I'm here for you. You're not alone."

His eyes were so full of tenderness and sincerity, and just like that, I felt my throat tighten.

He had no idea how much I needed to hear those words.

I was speechless. It wasn't just the awkwardness of trying to avoid my growing infatuation with him that Kain was picking up on. I was burdened. The last three years of my capture and torture still weighed heavily on me.

I did feel lonely. Trying to save my father, without being able to tell anyone why, had put an unbelievable amount of stress on me, and doing it all alone made me feel as if I was hanging on by a thread.

Kain tossed me a knowing smile while I tried my best to fight against showing my emotions. When he reached the school and parked at the curb, he produced two movie tickets and placed them directly in my hands.

I still didn't know what to say, but I was saved from having to say anything as the turbo engine of a limited-edition cherry-red sports car parked right next to us.

We both looked over as the tinted windows rolled down and loud music spilled into the air.

My mouth dropped open to see that it was Molly, Kain's mate, behind the wheel. She stared at Kain, looking him over unabashedly. She bit down on her bottom lip and then smiled as if satisfied by what she saw, sighing as she breathed out the word, “Mate."

Kain seemed dumbfounded and frozen in place. He didn't react right away and I noticed Molly began to look confused. I clutched the movie tickets in my hand and gave her a half smile.

This was the third time I'd seen her, and she seemed prettier every time I ran into her.

“Well, I should go now. Kain, your mate is gorgeous. Brother, you guys should go ahead and talk, see you later."

I hurried out of the car before Kain could respond and made my way toward the front door of the school. After running for a little bit, I turned back to see Kain and his mate talking.

I smiled, happy that the two of them had officially met, and Kain seemed more relaxed about it now, although I still couldn't ignore the complicated feelings that were rumbling inside of me.

A part of me was upset because something precious that belonged to me was now being taken away. I shook that feeling off and continued, running even faster into the school.

However, one thought struck me. While Molly seemed to be a nice girl, her father… Brad Nelson, was he Dad's friend or foe?

Whatever! Molly was Molly, Brad was Brad. At that moment, I didn't know for a fact that Brad was truly the culprit, and there was no reason I should have stopped Kain from getting to know his mate.

I stopped running once I was safely inside, and I rested my back against the door in order to catch my breath and steady my trembling nerves. The movie tickets Kain gave to me were still in my hand, but I doubted he would want to go with me now.

I made my way to class and still had an extra ten minutes before the bell would ring. I took out my phone and navigated to the footage that came from the live hidden cameras.

As time ticked on and nothing happened, I asked myself if maybe the hidden cameras were a bit too much.

I shook my head. No, nothing was too much if it might help save William's life. But it was late in the morning now. Dad would be at work. It was pointless to continue staring at an empty living room.

But then there was movement. William was still at home. He entered the scene and went to answer the door. I held my breath as the view of whoever came was blocked by my dad, who excitedly invited the visitor in.

And it was… Brad!

My thoughts halted midway through as Brad handed my father a small box and an envelope that looked to be the shape and size of an invitation.

I was trying to process what I was watching, and then Brad turned and stared at me.

My blood ran cold.

Did he know the camera was there or did he just happen to look in that direction?

My heart was thumping against my chest. The way he smirked… I was almost certain that he knew I was watching!