Stepbrotherly Love

Chapter 8

When I woke up later that morning, Stephen wasn't in my room. I was both disappointed and relieved. The room had its own bathroom, and I got up to get showered and dressed. I would have thought I dreamed last night, but the evidence of us making love was all over my body.

Thinking of how I was going to be seeing Mom and Paul again soon, I washed up thoroughly before leaving the bathroom. I got dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, then left the bedroom. Downstairs, I could hear the sound of talking, and there was the smell of something cooking. I followed the smell and found the kitchen.

I stopped at the doorway and looked inside, hesitating. Mom was at the stove, cooking. Paul was standing behind her, with his arms around her and Mom tucked under his chin. They were talking quietly and laughed. The moment looked so private; it would be a crime to interrupt. I was about to turn around and go to the living room when a voice behind me startled me.

"Good morning."

I startled, hearing Stephen's voice so close to my ear after last night, with our parents just feet away, making my body shiver. I threw him a quick glance and noticed he was blocking my escape route. Our bodies would brush if I tried to back away, so I walked further into the kitchen. It doubled as a dining room, so I moved closer to the table.

Mom and Paul alerted, had turned around to see us, but they didn't back away from each other.

"Morning, Mom," I said, offering a strained smile.

"You're awake! I just thought I should call you. Both of you can sit down; breakfast will be done soon." Then, she turned to Paul and said with a sarcastic tone, "You might as well go and join them since you're not actually helping me cook."

"It's okay if I keep you company though, right?" He bargained.

Mom giggled as she turned back to the pan.

Stephen sat across from me on the table, and our eyes met before I looked quickly away. I had every intention of pretending we were friends, but not too close. Just pals and nothing more. It would be too suspicious if I kept avoiding him, like before the wedding since we were close enough to take a trip together.

Soon enough, Mom and Paul joined us at the table, and I tried my best to act natural. I must have made a mistake somewhere, though, because Mom kept throwing me looks before we were halfway through the meal.

"Julia, is everything okay?" She asked.

The question was out of nowhere, and I wasn't the only one surprised. Even Stephen and Paul stopped eating and looked between the two of us.

"Is anything wrong?" Paul asked kindly.

"Um, I don't think so?" I said unsurely, sharing a glance with Stephen. "What do you mean, Mom?"

"Oh, nothing," she murmured with a distracted smile. "It must be my imagination, then. It must be strange for you being in a new area, and a new house."

"Well, it is new, but I'll get used to it," I answered with a shrug. "It's only for a few days, anyway."

"All right." She looked around, saw we weren't eating, and waved her hands at us. "Don't mind me, keep eating. Don't let the food go cold."

We resumed eating, but the looks she kept sending me didn't stop. We didn't leave the house the whole day, and whenever we were together, I would get those looks.

Seriously, was my acting that bad? I passed just fine at work, though...

That night, Stephen came to me again.

"What the hell are you thinking!" I hissed at him.

Even though I wanted to push him out, I tugged him inside and closed the door quickly. I was in my room, getting ready for bed, but Mom and Paul had just gone to their room. They weren't asleep yet. While neither of us was children, so they didn't need to check on us before we slept, this was still risky.

"I want you," was all he said, grabbing me by the waist and giving me a rough, wet kiss.

I was stiff, wanting to fight it, but I couldn't help it. My body shuddered, and I melted into him with a moan as I kissed him back. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and I raised a leg to wrap around his thigh, wanting to climb all over him.

He pulled away from my lips to mouth at my neck, and I caught my breath.

"Stephen, we really shouldn't do this," I complained weakly, between pants and gasps as he licked, bit and sucked at just the right spots on my neck. Even as I complained, I rubbed against him. I wanted him too much, saying no didn't come easy at all to me.

He hummed in his throat, which was not a real reply. Before I could launch another, unwilling complaint, he grabbed me by the thighs, just beneath my ass cheeks, and lifted me up. With a yelp, I wrapped my arms and legs tight around him, and he walked us over to the bed.

Somehow, we got through the holiday. Stephen kept his promise to show me the sights in the city. Mom was busy with Paul, so in the end, she didn't go. I was relieved Mom couldn't go, and I loved going all over the city with Stephen.

I'm falling for him, I realized. I knew it, but I still tried to keep him at arm's length. I couldn't afford to actually fall for him.

"Would you like to try going this way?"

I looked up from my preoccupying thoughts to find Stephen smiling at me. I followed the direction he pointed in and saw the sign for a walking trail.

"Um..."

I hesitated because I'd never done something like this. I wasn't really the outdoors type, and it was cold. Still, I was dressed to ward off the cold, and there didn't seem to be that many trees, so it should be fine.

"Okay, I guess. If you want to."

Grinning, he took my glove covered hand and led me down the trail.

"Where does this lead to?" I asked.

"The trail goes around the trees a little. We'll come back out onto the street some distance away. There is a place where it branches off to the longer trail, but we won't be going down that way."

I took him at his word and looked around with curiosity. We were walled by tall trees on both sides, but they weren't too tightly packed, so I didn't worry about it. Besides the two of us, I couldn't hear anything. I figured, if there were any animals around, that they must have been hidden because of the cold.

Then, Stephen surprised me by tugging me out of nowhere as he moved a little faster. I looked up with a sound of inquisition that was a little alarmed because we were getting off the trail. We didn't go far, before he stopped, pushed me up against a tree, and kissed me fiercely. He kissed and didn't stop until I was breathless. I even felt my lips ache a bit, and I imagined they were swollen and red.

"What the hell was that for," I said, my voice coming out strange because I was stuck in between delight and indignation. Stephen hadn't been so rough with me before.

"I just hate it," he muttered, his eyes closed. One of his hands held me down by the shoulder, while his other was braced against the tree. He tilted his head until he rested his forehead against mine. "I hate it how you ignore me when we're at home. How you can't seem to be in the same room with me before making an excuse to leave, even when we're alone."

"You know why I have to do it," I muttered.

He shook his head, eyes opening to meet mine. "No, I really don't. So what if our parents know about us? They have their own lives, and we have ours."

I was about to tell him what I usually told guys when they tried to push my boundaries, that there was an agreement of not going beyond a certain line. Only, between Stephen and I, there was no such agreement, verbal or no.

This entire time, while I was trying to keep a healthy distance between us, he probably thought we were in a relationship, even if neither of us brought it up.

"That isn't how this works, Stephen."

He watched me silently for a while, before taking a deep breath, his expression serious as he said, "Julia, I want to be open about our relationship. At work, with your parents, I don't want to hide it."

There it is.

He actually said it, and used the word 'relationship.' Before, when a guy assumed there was any relationship between us, I walked, I didn't even bother to say anything. I didn't hesitate. This time, I did, and I felt my eyes prick with tears.

"No, Stephen," I murmured. "We can't. We're not..." I couldn't bring myself to say we weren't in a relationship, so I changed tactics. "We might not be blood-related, but we are related by marriage. It's too shameful, too forbidden. If our parents found out their kids were sleeping with each other, it would bother them. And I don't want anything coming in between Mom and Paul. So we're not going to tell them, and neither are you. Please."

His mouth was open, ready to launch his protest until I attached a plea at the end. He looked at me for the longest time with his jaw set, before he backed down, turning his eyes away.

This time, he didn't hold my hand as we returned to the trails. When we made it to the curb, he immediately hailed a taxi for us to go back, and when we arrived, he followed me to my room.

Like always, I didn't push him away.

Mom never did say what the looks were about. She kept quiet, and after the New Year's, Stephen and I flew back to Louisiana. We still took adjoining seats, and I stared out the window until he fell asleep. Then, I turned to watch him, silently apologizing to him, because I knew I was about to break his heart.

I had held on, but I'd reached my limit. This couldn't go on any longer.