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Wyrde and Wicked

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‘When it comes to the Wyrde, there is no such thing as harmless. Every single one of us is a walking disaster.’

Winter has come to Werth Towers, and brought a deal of trouble with it.

Not that any of it is the fault of Miss Gussie Werth. To be a one-woman catastrophe might be seen as a misfortune, but really, there can be no hope of a cure.

What with murderous Books on the rampage, Lady Maundevyle brewing plans for Christmas, and a couple of dragons on the loose, a quiet life is not likely to be had.

Still, in times of crisis, there is always Lord Felix. The disreputable old revenant might have a few odd ideas; but you’re at Werth Towers, now. The merely unusual comes as a matter of course.

Welcome to the strangest family in Regency England. Find out just what Gussie did next...

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Chapter One
Chapter One Disappointing as it may be to relate the state of dullness prevailing at Werth Towers after the exciting events of the summer, yet it must be done. This, after all, is an endeavour prizing Truth over fashion. Overflowing with the enthusiasm attending a series of mild successes, then (for so we will term such a succession of catastrophes, on the grounds that they could have turned out a great deal worse), Gussie would have attacked the matter of the Books with gusto. Indeed, she tried. She began by turning her uncle’s library upside down, much to the disgust of a bristling Lord Bedgberry. ‘Really, Gussie!’ said he, having wandered, in a state only half-awake, into this favourite part of the house, with a view to changing his copy of A Natural History of Lycanthropes for some new, exciting treatise. ‘What can you mean by all this mess?’ His lordship’s expostulations were not unjust. Gussie (and her faithful Miss Frostell) had soon tired of removing a single book at a time, carefully checking its title page and contents, before neatly returning it to the shelf. Gussie’s urgent curiosity and Miss Frostell’s boundless enthusiasm would not admit of so slow a pace. Inevitably, then, the ladies soon fell to removing the leather-bound books by the armful, and discarding the greater part upon the nearby tables, and soon after upon the floor. ‘Help us, then,’ said Gussie impatiently, barely attending to Theo’s dismay. ‘With the three of us at work, we shall soon have checked every book.’ ‘For what, pray?’ said Theo, not moving from his station in the doorway. Gussie, casting a careless glance in his direction, observed that he existed in a state of high indignation, from the toes of his shoes to the tips of his rusty-hued hair. Indeed, the latter appeared almost to be standing on end with horror. ‘For something pertaining to those wretched Books,’ said Gussie, returning, unfazed, to her ransacking of the shelves. ‘There must be something among all these tomes, I am sure of it.’ There were indeed a great number of volumes crowded into Lord Werth’s library, successive generations of the family having frequently boasted a Theo among them (that being, a learned gentleman of bookish habits; his other predilections being not nearly so common, even among the Werths). ‘I cannot be the first of the family to entertain a lively curiosity about the Book of Werth,’ said Gussie hopefully. ‘Even if its fellows in bookish iniquity were hitherto unknown.’ ‘Were they, though?’ put in Miss Frostell, presently engaged in hefting quite ten or twelve burdensome volumes in her arms all at once. Her destination was the deep window-seat, through which the afternoon sun shone golden and inviting (and ignored). As she spoke, one hapless tome slithered from her uncertain grasp, and fell to the floor with a bang. Theo started forward. ‘Careful! Dash it, these books are valuable!’ ‘That is a good notion, Frosty,’ said Gussie, ignoring Theo (as she so often did). ‘Perhaps some forebear of ours did know of the other Books, and the fact has simply been forgotten!’ Upon which encouraging reflection, she renewed her attack upon the shelves. ‘Book, Gussie,’ said Theo, occupying himself with an attempt to restore some of the books to their shelves (fruitless, for his efforts were easily outmatched by the ladies). ‘We know of only one other Book.’ ‘If there is a second, I am persuaded there is a third,’ said Gussie, her words emerging half muffled, for she had thrust her head into the deep recess of a shelf in quest of a slim volume that had fallen down the back. ‘Perhaps rather more. And since both Books have shown a propensity to lie dormant for months at a time, or even years, well! They could be everywhere.’ ‘Let us hope not,’ said Theo fervently. ‘I am hoping so,’ Gussie retorted. ‘To conduct a properly scientific study, we require more specimens. The more, the merrier! And I should like very much to know which of the Wyrded families of the country possess such a Book as ours.’ ‘The Selwyns do not,’ Miss Frostell reminded her erstwhile charge. ‘No, that is true. But that does not necessarily mean that they never had one, does it?’ ‘Do you mean that they may have lost it?’ said Miss Frostell. ‘Precisely. This second Book has obviously entered the book trade, at one point or another in its life. Other such tomes may have been sold, or even stolen away from their original owners.’ ‘I should like to know where you imagine you are going with this line of thinking,’ said Theo, abandoning his attempts to restore order, and sinking hopelessly into the welcoming arms of a deep library-chair. ‘I find it impossible to follow it.’ ‘I hardly know myself,’ admitted Gussie. ‘I believe we are speculating.’ ‘Speculating,’ uttered Theo in disgust. ‘No amount of speculation will uncover facts, Gussie.’ ‘But we have so few facts to work with. Hardly any at all. I must, then, have something else to amuse me.’ Theo gave a great sigh, and rested his face in his hands. ‘You will not find anything of use in here,’ he said into his palms. ‘I should be very surprised if anyone has discovered enough about the Book of Werth to write about it.’ ‘Whyever not?’ said Gussie. ‘When it has been in our possession for such a great many years—’ ‘Yes, and everyone with any sense at all has kept well clear of it, except at need.’ Gussie, mindful of her own visit to the Book not long ago, with Lady Werth for company, said with unimpaired cheer: ‘Well, and I never was accused of possessing a great deal of sense. I had never before thought such a lack might stand me in good stead, but so it proves! I am the perfect person to investigate.’ ‘And so am I!’ said Miss Frostell gaily, hurling another stack of tomes onto the floor. A choking cloud of dust arose, sending her into a fit of coughing. ‘Help us, Theo!’ Gussie ordered, but to no avail, for her cousin would not be persuaded. And the sad truth is that his nay-saying lordship was perfectly correct. Not a single clue as to the Book’s history or nature did Gussie find in her uncle’s library, not even among the forgotten tomes gathering dust in the neglected corners. She and her eager co-investigator were obliged to seek an alternative avenue for discovery. ‘I shall write to Mrs. Daventry,’ Gussie announced, a week or so later. ‘Doubtless she will have more to tell us regarding the history of her curse-book. And my uncle could hardly object to my corresponding with so respectable a female, I am sure?’ ‘Most certainly he could not!’ said Miss Frostell (really, the most obliging of companions, being always as enthused about Gussie’s projects as Gussie could be herself). ‘I shall fetch your writing-desk, my dear, for I am sure you will want to begin directly.’ The writing-desk was accordingly brought; Gussie seated herself at a corner table in the parlour of her little cottage; and the letter was composed forthwith. Any detail you may recall may be of the gravest importance, Gussie put in. Anything at all, however small! I shall be most grateful to you! But disappointment was once again to be Gussie’s lot, for when the reply came, after the passage of yet another week, it contained nothing but demurrals. The curse-book had been sold by a dealer in books, who had received it as part of a varied lot, of no particular distinction. Nothing of its provenance was known to Mrs. Daventry, nor had she received any hint as to its true nature before the events in which Miss Werth had already played a part. She had read the curse-book quite through, and it had behaved itself beautifully, made not the smallest attempt to maim her; a model of good breeding, if such could be said of a collection of pages bound in leather, and elegantly inscribed. Gussie, cruelly disappointed, penned another letter, urging her to take up the banner of investigator, and chase after the book-dealer, for surely the man must know where he had got the “varied lot” containing the curse-book. But to this, she received no response at all. Autumn being by now some way advanced, Gussie’s spirits sank along with the sun. Her uncle had banned any further visits to either Book, upon pain of immediate dismemberment. Whenever Gussie felt tempted to flout this command (which, she had to own, was not an unreasonable one), she recalled the thunderous look adopted by Lord Werth as he had laid down this stricture, and felt that he might have meant the threat more literally than she would like. ‘Though perhaps I could spare a limb,’ she reflected to Miss Frostell, upon one especially dull evening. Marooned as she was in her snug parlour, with only a single candle to chase away the gloom of the season, and obliged to fall back on her embroidery for employment, impatience gnawed at her until she could barely keep her seat. ‘Not any limb, of course,’ she said, in amendment of this happy thought. ‘I should prefer to keep both of my legs, or I shall be quite the charge upon my family. I should have to be carried everywhere in a sedan chair.’ ‘The inconvenience would be considerable,’ agreed Miss Frostell. ‘And perhaps not quite worth the gain.’ ‘But my arms,’ Gussie pursued. ‘My right I might elect to keep, but my left? It is by far the less used of the two, and when you consider how little fancy-work I shall be able to attempt with only one hand, really I shall be quite the gainer.’ Miss Frostell, occupying a seat beside Gussie upon an elegant silken divan, cast an appraising look at Miss Werth’s embroidery-frame. Its centre sported an exciting scene, near fully developed: the Book of Werth chased a hapless Lord Bedgberry with murderous intent, sprouting appendages from all four of its corners. Theo wore an expression of stark terror. Judging from the quantity of blood, he had already been divested of at least a couple of fingers. ‘But it is a charming piece,’ said Miss Frostell firmly. ‘When it is finished I shall make a cushion of it. Your dear aunt would like it excessively, would not she?’ ‘I believe not, Frosty, for my aunt persists in holding Theo in affection.’ ‘Why, so do I! But dear Lord Bedgberry must soon come about. I am persuaded he is about to wreak a terrible vengeance upon the Book. Perhaps a second panel?’ ‘True, no hero worth his salt could be so poor-spirited as to mind a little maiming,’ Gussie agreed. ‘Excellent notion, Frosty. I shall persuade Theo to visit the Books. He shall interrogate them for us, and bring us the results. And if my uncle should feel disposed to inflict bodily harm over it, he may turn his wrath upon Theo, and not us. Really, it is perfect.’ ‘I had not entirely—’ began Miss Frostell, but to no avail, for Gussie was gone in a moment, pausing only to collect her bonnet and pelisse on her way out into the park. The hour may be late, and chill, but no true heroine could object to a little freezing in pursuit of the Truth; and Theo preferred the dark. She had always known that of him. She wandered the grounds of Werth Towers for some time in search of her abominable cousin, who would, she knew, be out and prowling on so fine and crisp an evening. Her pursuit carried her down an avenue of ancient chestnut trees, a favourite with Lady Werth; over a succession of hillocks and meadows, daringly attempted in the weak light of a half-moon; and finally ended in the very glade, with its stone altar, in which Lord Felix had so iniquitously summoned a plethora of distant family connections not so long ago. (And the deleterious effects of his ridiculous ritual were still being felt, for once in a while a stranger still arrived at the Towers, citing a compulsion to travel to the house, and demanding to know What The Matter Was. Lord and Lady Werth had yet to find any of them of much interest). The glade, dark and a trifle eerie even in the golden summer, was positively brooding at night. Thus Gussie felt no surprise at all upon finding Theo there, seated upon the altar, and apparently lost in thought. ‘Your hind-quarters must be frozen to the bone,’ Gussie commented, ducking her head to avoid the low-hanging branches of a gnarly yew tree. ‘The state of my hind-quarters, now or at any other time, can hardly be said to be any of your business,’ Theo retorted. ‘And when they are frozen square and you cannot walk, I shall of course be overpowered with sympathy.’ Theo merely grunted. ‘I am come with an entreaty,’ Gussie persevered. ‘No doubt. And you should not be here at all at this hour, especially unaccompanied, but that will not weigh with you.’ ‘Why should I not be? You can hardly imagine me to be in any danger in my uncle’s own park.’ ‘No,’ said Theo, with some regret. ‘I suppose not.’ ‘Unless you are referring to Lord Maundevyle, but I think he likes me well enough not to maul me to death.’ ‘Not to death, at any rate. He might maul you a little, if you were to chatter at him in this same tiresome fashion.’ ‘He might!’ Gussie allowed. ‘Taciturn men are always discomposed whenever anybody speaks to them. I shall have to bear it in mind.’ ‘He is not here, however,’ said Theo. ‘I passed him in the lavender-grove an hour ago.’ Lord Maundevyle, in dragon-shape, had long displayed a peculiar fondness for Lady Werth’s lavender bushes. He had taken refuge there, when his dejection over his enforced Wyrding had, for a time, overpowered his reason. Even now, having grown accustomed to his draconic form, he was still known to appear in the breakfast-room (human in shape, of course), redolent of lavender, and smiling. (Well, almost smiling). Gussie could not account for it, but it was among his lordship’s least objectionable habits. ‘I need you to interrogate the Books for me,’ said Gussie, impatient with these asides. ‘No.’ ‘I cannot find out anything about them by any other means within my reach. But surely they must know something of their own history.’ ‘No,’ said Theo again. ‘Please, cousin,’ said Gussie, despising herself as she spoke, for it never did to beg; it set men up in their own conceit, and encouraged them to imagine themselves important. But a desperate situation called for desperate measures. ‘No!’ growled Theo. ‘My father has forbidden it, and for excellent reason. I will not go near either of those detestable Books.’ ‘But you manage them so beautifully—’ ‘The point is, I would far rather not have to manage them at all, beautifully or otherwise.’ ‘But—’ ‘No, Gussie. They are dangerous. Truly dangerous, not in a funning way. Why, one of them has killed a man! More than one! You saw the body with your own eyes. Would you like me to end up like that poor library-fellow?’ Gussie gave the matter due consideration. ‘It would afford me a deal of pleasure,’ she allowed. ‘But I quite see that it would be unreasonable of me to expect such a sacrifice on your part.’ ‘And if,’ continued Theo, ignoring this, ‘you are minded to attempt an interrogation yourself, allow me to inform you that the Books are under constant watch. My father’s orders. If you are seen to so much as venture down the stairs, a report will go to my uncle immediately, and you will be detained by any means available.’ Gussie scoffed. ‘And who is it that could claim to reach my uncle so quickly? I should have plenty of time to get into the room, and by then, you know, it would be too late.’ ‘Great-Uncle Silvester,’ said Theo. That silenced Gussie. The grotesque, whose stone form her ancestor was presently haunting, could indeed be very quick when it suited him. He had wings, after all, and was capable of employing them. And if he had set himself against the idea of Gussie’s reading the Books, then her options were much diminished. ‘Even you cannot truly wish to endanger yourself out of mere curiosity,’ Theo said. ‘Even me?’ Gussie answered. ‘Why, am I so crack-brained as that?’ ‘Much more so.’ Gussie sighed. If she were to own the truth — and nothing could persuade her to do so aloud — then she had not quite the degree of inclination she professed. She had not, in fact, forgotten the sight of poor Mr. Fletcher, lying dead upon the floor of his own circulating library, his bloodied corpse savagely mauled. Nor had she forgotten the family Book’s own iniquities, including so severe an injury to her uncle’s hand as to leave him without the use of it for some weeks. She had little wish to try her own luck with the thing, or with Mrs. Daventry’s murderous curse-book. But nor could she consent to leave the matter unexplored. ‘It is not merely a matter of curiosity,’ she said. ‘Those Books are dangerous. And what if there are more, Theo? What if Mrs. Daventry’s is not the only such monster to have fallen into the hands of those ill-equipped to manage them?’ ‘That is not our concern,’ said Theo shortly. ‘No, but it should be.’ Theo rubbed at his eyes. ‘Why, pray?’ ‘We may not know exactly what they are, or where they came from. But we are used to dealing with such things, and we have proved capable of confining them suitably. Is there any other family in the country who could say the same? Even Mr. Ballantine’s Bow Street fellows could not.’ ‘In point of fact,’ said Theo. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘There, then!’ said Gussie, delighted. ‘If you will not venture to visit the Books, will you at least make some enquiries among your cronies? Perhaps somebody has heard of another family like ours, in possession of just such another Book.’ ‘My cronies?’ echoed Theo blankly. ‘Why, yes, your friends and connections—’ ‘What in the world leads you to imagine that I have friends and connections?’ ‘I hear forever of gentlemen’s clubs, where a great deal of inconsequent talk goes on—’ ‘Perhaps in London, Gussie. But in the back end of Norfolk? No. And when have you ever known me to venture so far as London?’ Gussie was silenced. Theo rose from his chilly perch with a sigh, and stretched his long limbs. ‘I will talk to my father,’ he conceded. ‘Perhaps he, or my mother, may have some of these “connections” you speak of, and will not mind consulting them.’ And so Gussie went away filled, once again, with hope. But she was once again doomed to disappointment, for the rest of the autumn wore away, and winter set in; and if either her aunt or her uncle had acted upon Theo’s suggestion with any success, Gussie did not hear of it.

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