Raising Tasha

Unfair world

Claire

That was the best night sleep I have had in a very long time, probably in the last four years which is sad and pathetic if you consider the fact that I had spent the night in a hospital bed. I enjoyed my stay at hospital, who the hell even thinks that?!  Here I was thanking my stars for an overnight stay at the hospital, maybe if I acted a little sicker and week they would let me spend another night. I had taken advantage of their facilities and took a long warm bath then enjoyed a hot meal right after.

Who know when next I would enjoy such luxury, to my pathetic life a hospital was luxury how sad.

"Handsome uncle do want to taste?" I awaken to the voice of may baby talking to someone, but who could she be talking to. We had no friends in town knew I had been hospitalized,

'well... one person knew but  we were not exactly friends so why would be here this early?' I thought to myself.

"No, I bought the for you." came a deep voice replying in the room. I sat up quickly in panic making myself dizzy in the process. How long had man been in my room while I was asleep, a stranger was talking to my daughter and I was not aware, what if something happened to her? Why was I careless? I hold both sided of my head trying to stop the dizzy spell.

When I could finally open my eyes I realize that it was the man from yesterday, Jerry, that is what he had said his name was. What was he doing here this early in the morning? He was sitting on the floor with Tasha fully concentrating on his phone, it seems like they had not realized I had woken up yet.

"Is this what it would be like if Tasha had a father? I could not help but mumble to myself. It did not have to be be her biological father. I did not even know who or where he was, drunk one night stand remember. Would it be like this if she had a father figure? Experience some fatherly love, there was a saying about her girls where always close to their fathers. I had unwantedly deprived her of that experience, technically it was not my fault but I could not stop blaming myself.

Watching them playing I could not help but think about how beautiful of a family we would make. I imagined myself sitting there on the floor with them having faun, going to parks together. I could stop myself from choking on a sob I guess I did make a sound because they both turned to look at me at the same time. Caught red handed I pull the sheets above my heard to cover my tear streaked face, I could not lose face in front my daughter. She would never let me live it down.

"Oh Claire you are awake?" Jerry asks coming to my bedside 

"Mama! Mama, look! Uncle bought me mangos." Tasha exclaimed shoving the sloppily eaten mango at my face getting some on the white beddings.

"Careful baby! You are making things dirty" as if not seeing the mess she was making Tasha kept struggling to get on the bed. When Jerry had tried to take it from her hand she had gotten very defensive which got me really sad. She was like a little cub protecting its food and children act like that when they were really hungry.

Then I remembered she had refused to eat last claiming to be still full from the meal she had had with Uncle Jerry. Now that I think about she had done for my sake, she knew I had not eaten and wanted me to have more. She was trying to be considerate but it just made me feel worse, no child should have to go hungry just so the parent could have some food. 

Something heavy lands on my lap startling me, it was a fruit basket. I could not stop myself from drooling at sight. I was hungry and I had not had any fruit for a while now. "Have some, I already had someone wash them", said Jerry gesturing to the basket. I reached for a mango and quickly took a bite almost moaning at the burst of flavour in my mouth. "So you also eat the peels too?" the I notice that he had holding out a knife to me. Ooops, maybe next time.

"Yes, they are really healthy." I say after struggling to swallow the big bite I had taken barely managing to stop myself from choking, that would have been so embarrassing! "Did you have some already?" I ask pointing at the basket.

"I am ok, I  got those for you and Tasha." he refuses in a very determined way.

"You bought them, you should at least have one, I feel awkward Tasha and I are eating while you just stare at us. It is not ok, share one with Tasha if you do not want eat it all but you should have some." I insist leaving no room for refusal. He had already spent money on my treatment and hospital stay, he rushed in here this morning to check on us getting us fruit. I was scared thinking about what demands he would make as p*****t for all his help. If there was anything that the world had taught me it was that nothing was for free. I had already braced myself in preparation for his demands.

The clock was ticking we had all finished eating but no one was saying anything, Tasha was playing on Jerry's phone and  had all her attention occupied. The two adults in the room were too awkward to hold a conversation, I had stopped talking much after I finished school and started moving around, one had to be careful about what they said as it could be used against you. 

I was about to get discharged but Jerry had not mentioned anything about paying him back so I decided to ask him myself, "How much do I owe you?"

"Why? Do you have the money to pay me back?" he asks instead. He knew very well that I had no money but he still asked. 

"Come and work for me to pay your debt." he then says making my jaw drop.

Is this man ok?