Ain't Meant For LOVE..!

Sharing Pain

Damien’s P.O.V

She sat there cupping my cheeks as I stared into her eyes. I pulled her into a hug all of a sudden and then pulled her apart to look again at her face. The fair skin with those beautiful and dangerous eyes that simmered with tears and worry and the face that was as pure as her heart.

“I saw you the first time with the same look. You were trying to hide your tears and pain back then as today.” I held her with one arm as I caressed her cheek with the back of my other hand and looking as she closed her eyes leaning into my touch. “You wore black joggers and grey sweat shirt. Your hair into half up and earphones plugged, you were squatting on the ground as you whimpered. I cannot push that image from my mind ever since then and I was so determined to find you. Look! Now I have found you.” I looked at her giving her a smile.

She looked shocked as she opened her eyes and tried to wrap around the little confession.

“You... was that you? Oh my god! I never realized that because even though I looked at you but I didn’t pay attention. No doubt why you looked familiar to me.” She smiled genuinely at me.

I couldn’t hold it back then and letting go of her, I sneaked my hand at the back of her neck and pulled her into me kissing her soft-alluring lips. At first she didn’t respond but I kept kissing her. She then kissed me back with the same passion. Our hands roamed over each other’s body as our lips moved in the sync. It wasn’t just a kiss but a war to pour out our feelings. I brushed my tongue over her lips, licking them slowly as she opened her mouth. My tongue sneaked into her mouth as I touched her tongue’s tip with my tongue’s tip. Her head rolled back as she moaned into me. Just like that, my tongue was rolling over hers as the tongues did their own dance. Her fingers into my hair as I moved my fingers over her neck with only the finger tips touching her skin.

She shivered and I would say, I love when her body responds to my touch. She may try hard to hide it but it is obvious as I could see her shudder and Goosebumps rising every time. I leaned more into her, bringing her closer as the mere gap between us vanished. Her body between my legs as I rubbed my bulging part into her making her know the excitement I feel for her. She groaned as she pulled apart with a jerk and fall back on the ground landing on her butt. She winced in the pain as she closed her eyes in annoyance.

I was a little frustrated but reached to rub her ass, as she moved back again shaking her head rapidly. I sighed and nodded now standing up I offered my hand. She took it and stood on her feet as we headed towards her car in silence. I looked at the car doors still opened as I raised my eyebrow turning to her.

“What? I was terrified to know what might have happened to you there so didn’t bother to close it or park it somewhere properly.” She shrugged and went to the driver’s seat.

I smiled knowing fully well that she really loved me. After been seated we headed to her apartment in silence.

Once reaching there, she asked me to shower saying I smelled more of alcohol than her fav. Scent. I wanted to laugh but refrained myself. As I came back, I found her sitting in the dining area with many bowls set on the table and asking me to eat.

She had prepared some Indian cuisine that included dal (a black one) with cumin rice and a mixed veg with chapattis (Wheat tortillas) and served with pickle, butter, curd and papadum.

-Gosh! My stomach seems to full just by looking at it.-

“What are you staring at? Start your dinner and finish it. I have worked hard for this.” She said digging into her food.

Taking one bite from all; I would say I loved it. I showed her my appreciation by licking my fingers as she giggled.

-Wow, she just laughed because of me?-

I was so happy at that time. I ate enthusiastically and after having finished everything I helped cleaning the table as she washed and dried the dishes.

As she fixed us some tea passing me one mug, she sat beside me on the couch in the living room and turned to face me. Tucking one leg under her body she said, “Wanna spill out why you were so drunk and left the office so early?”

I stiffed and stared at the T.V. in front of me as if that was the most interesting thing in the whole world.

I felt her hand over mine as she gave it a little squeeze. “Damien, you should open up because I can see it is eating you inside and that’s not a god thing. C’mmon open up. I am your friend and you can trust me. I promise I won’t share it with anyone. But yea, if you don’t feel like you can trust me; it’s okay! Maybe you can share it some other time.”

I looked at her as she was looking into her mug with an unpleasant expression. She has always been by my side no matter what, I can trust her. So, I decided to tell her everything. Sighing loudly, I turned to face her.

“It’s about my mom. My dad has remarried to this woman Jane who has raised me. I am not saying she is cruel or something. Jane is all I could have asked for as a mother. Being a step mother she has never made me feel it. She always cared for me but it is about the wronged feeling that I feel from my dad’s side. You see? My birth mom is Sarah and she isn’t dead or left me. My dad threw her away when I was born.”

She gasped putting her hand over her mouth as she shook her head lightly. “He threw your mom? Just like that?”

“Yea, I know that’s hard to believe but it is the truth. I would have never known that my mom is still alive if I haven’t met her back four years ago. I was coming out from my dad’s office. I was working as an intern back then when I bumped into her. She looked familiar and then she hugged me and cried hard. I was shocked at first not knowing what to do. Then she said that she had been missing me badly and that I was her son. At first I thought she is a crazy lady. But then she showed me her wedding pictures with dad and invited me to her house.”

I paused still remembering that day as I saw my mom’s hurt face with dried tears.

“She told me that they were deeply in love until Jane came into picture. At first, dad urged her to abort me but when he couldn’t; he took me away from her and left her alone in the hospital and settled himself with Jane. He loves Jane so much and it is quite evident the way he is so gentle with her while he erupts venom when talking about my mom. No matter why he is always displeased with me.” I remembered the look on my dad’s face whenever he looked at me. He seems to be disappointed in me. I was always unable to earn praise from him.

“Damien, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to pry but don’t you think that there might be some misunderstanding between you three? I mean, I am not saying that your mother lied but look at this, Charles has always been worried about you and you may have not noticed but he was so proud to see you renamed as the new CEO.” She spoke carefully as she searched my face for some discomfort.

I realized that she was talking some sense. There were times like this when my dad was worried about me. Like the time when I had my heart broken. He used to wait late till night for my arrival. Even though he used to give me his piece of mind but he never let it end there. He made me eat dinner with him and put me into bed and I could realize that he used to kiss my forehead before going out of my bedroom.

“And if they never loved you, then why don’t they have another child? I am sure they would have loved to make their own kids??” Tasha said while running her fingers up and down my shoulders.

-Maybe there really is some misunderstanding. But what if she couldn’t conceive or there may be some medical problem with them?-

I shook my head as I looked at her.

“Since I shared with you my botheration, would you mind telling me few things?” I awaited her answer anxiously as she looked at me with a little hesitation then nodded faintly to gesture me to go on.

“Why are you maintaining low profile? What are you hiding from?” she looked at me clearly astound.

“How do you...? Were you investigating about me?” She looked at me a bit angry.

“Woah! Cool down. I am sorry but like I told you I was determined to find you since that day, I had no option but investigate about you and couldn’t find much information. But god had other plans for us.” I answered confidently.

“Plus, it will only make me truly trust you as I have shared my secret now you should do the same?” it was more like a question.

“Okay, I hate talking about it but I guess it is only fair. So, where should I start from?” she was fidgeting with her fingers as it was clear she was not comfortable about this topic.

“I am a divorcee.” She spat it out so fast as her chest heaved with the words.

“What??? A divorcee??? Are you sure?” I was taken aback from the new revelation. I thought she was kidding but the look on her face only proved that she isn’t. “You don’t look like...-“ before I could have said anything, she cut me off.

“Like what? Like someone divorced? What do you expect from a divorcee to have grown some extra organs or horns or some weird colors? What?” she was annoyed now.

“Hey... I didn’t mean that.” I held her shoulders and looked at her.

“Yea I know. It’s just that it is one of the most painful topics of my life.” She spoke not looking at me.

“You must remember one thing first. Indian culture and tradition is far different than here and also, the women are expected much more to go through after her marriage to keep it going than the man. I got married all of a sudden back seven years ago when I was only 19 years old. It is a common thing in India at few places though. My uncles urged that they were good people and it was all a lie and a trap set up by them for their own benefits. My in laws were the lowest of the low lives. They are full of deceive, lies, greed and sadistic. I had been in hell living there with them for that one and half year time period. They robbed us of our money, our mental and physical peace and strength. I had depression and suicidal thoughts as they enjoyed torturing me with violence, taunts and mistreatment. Finally I escaped them but had another hell time fighting against them through laws because they were most influential people while we were the ordinary ones. They kept following me and threatening me. I was scared so when I got my divorced, I changed my name and left my origin country to escape them.” I just stared looking at her as she was trembling pausing in between while narrating it.

I could see her gulp down loudly as she tried to stop herself from crying and I just wondered how strong this woman sitting in front of me was. She had been through hell but all I could see is her smiling and living her life as though it was always like that. That was also the moment I realized that she was stronger than me.

“I hated everyone after that, each and every human because even though my uncles saw everything going on with their own eyes, they refused to interfere. But I learned to stable myself although I used to cry whole night. I never let my parents see me crying. Indian societies make it difficult for the married woman to live if they return back to their parental house. They even make our parents suffer with us. After another two years, I met an amazing guy. He made me stronger, he pulled me out of my depression and made me turn into who I am today.” She gave a small smile as she wiped her unshed tears from one hand.

“I was really a meek woman, naive and sweet who used to care for others even if that person was unrelated to me. I always took care not to hurt them even if I wasn’t comfortable with what they wanted. This made people take advantage of me and took me for granted. Even my own friend used me for her own self and the messed up married life, my broken heart and the feeling of been deceived by my friend made me more heart broken and determined. I never realized that I started loving him and he too loved me but then he married someone else again throwing me into doubts about myself. But he never left my side making sure I was doing well and still warning me about my fake friends and worrying about my future. That is when I decided to stay away from all men as I was sure that love isn’t meant for me.” She looked so heart-broken at this moment.

-‘f**k! I got my heart broken once and I turned into a complete d**k and she? She is still sitting in front of me determined to live her life in her own way.’-

I put her mug on the table and held her hands in mine. I rubbed her knuckles as she looked at me with that teary smile and it really broke my heart. “Do you know? You are meant for love and if you aren’t f**k I don’t think anyone else can. It all happened to save you from those dickheads you see. I feel like punching them. f**k! But remember this, even after been through all of this you are here with all your heart into your new life. It is f*****g attractive and you deserve the whole world and more and I will make sure to give everything to you.” I kissed her knuckles one by one as I lifted my eyes to see her face now with dripping tears.

I moved closer to her and then kissed her tears still holding her hands. I kissed her eyes and nose and kissed her forehead as I pulled back to see her. She was smiling as she looked at me.

‘-She is so beautiful and such a sweet heart how could she have been through all this mess. But wait. She said she was married for a year and half and into a relationship for few months so how could she be a virgin? Is she still hiding something?’-

I looked at her but couldn’t see any lie as she was relieved to share it with me. I could see her smiling more heartily now and realized how she used to fake smile at many times in front of others but now it looks like she has been set free from her doubts and fear.

I embraced her and rubbed her back as she rubbed mine. Her face buried into my chest as I decided to inquire about the things she told me just now.

-       As the saying goes- ‘Once bitten, twice shy’, I really would like to go through every details to confirm the facts.-

I kissed her head and rested my chin on it. I loved this girl. I like the way her scent calms me and her touch warms up my heart giving me hope and unspoken promises to be beside me always but will I be able to stay beside her always?