Ain't Meant For LOVE..!

The Dilemma

Tasha’s P.O.V

I feel a complete and utter s**t right now listening to his answer. I felt chocked. I needed an escape and that’s what I will do.

I closed the door silently again and rushed outside the building as fast as my legs and also Elevators could have taken. I plumed into my car, slamming the door shut and speeding my car only to drive sanely as last thing I wanted was to get pulled over by the cops.

I went to the central park and headed inside taking a lone spot and crying my heart out. But I didn’t cry my eyes out because there was still something intact in my heart which said maybe there are chances that Damien would be back in my arms.

So, that’s when I wiped away my tears, breathing in deeply and stared into the space ahead, feeling lost.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

The cell phone’s screen lit up displaying Edward’s name, swiping right I held it against my ear.

“Where did you rush to cupcake? I saw you storming out of the office. Are you okay? Where are you?” Edward bombarded me with questions as I smiled listening to him.

“Wasn’t feeling good so I headed to central park to take fresh air, anyways I will be back soon.” I replied blankly.

“No don’t come here, let’s go out to our fav. Cafe?” he asked cheerfully.

“Sure. Sounds good to me. Hurry up then. I will be meeting you there only.” I smiled as I cut the call.

I sighed as I thought to text Damien to inform him that I left the office early. I was uncomfortable doing it now because the image of Rachel in his arms was forming again and again in my mind and it was irritating me. I didn’t want to disturb them but I also don’t want them to be together.

I wish it’s just a farewell hug to her. I stood up as my fingers automatically gripped the pendant Damien gave me and I prayed he keep his promise.

Then I went to the cafe where Edward was about to come. After some five minutes, he was now sitting across me with a concerned face.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“Ed... Was Rachel pregnant with Damien’s child? And you... you forced her for abortion?” I asked hesitantly. I know she was lying but I still wanted to be sure of the things.

He was stupefied at first and then asked with anger laced in his voice. “What rubbish is this? Who said that? She would be the last woman to think of being pregnant as all that mattered to her was her figure. Even though if that would have happened, I wouldn’t have killed my own bestie’s child. That’s absolute bullshit.”

I smiled relieved. “Rachel fed lies to Damien and...” I trailed off as I gulped down the pain forming in my throat.

“And...? Don’t tell me Damien fell for that?” He asked gravely as he squeezed my hand with his both hands.

“Yea... He... he has decided to... you know... give her a chance.” I tried to speak confidently but failed as the voice came out broken with a tear slipping out of my eyes.

Edward suddenly punched the side wall and startled me. I gaped at his face now terrified of why he did that.

“That bastard! I warned him not to hurt you and he did just the f*****g s**t I expected him to.” Edward growled angrily attracting other diners’ attention to him.   

I gave them an embarrassing smile and turned to face him. “We can’t blame him fully as he loved her truly. What I am worried is how to tell him the truth?” I held his hands as he stared at my face.

“What?” I asked him now being self conscious.

“Seriously...? You are still having hopes? You should kick that bastard’s ass and yet you are worried about saving him! Damnation.” He gritted under his teeth.

“Ed... Please don’t. You wouldn’t understand why I didn’t do that even though I felt like doing it back.” I smirked at him as he shook his head and chuckled.

“I think I will have to kick your ass then.” He answered with a serious look.

“Shut up! I love you too.” I smiled sheepishly as he laughed out loud.

We then talked random things over snacks and smoothies. Now, I know what I should do. I took my cell and texted Damien that I was outside and would meet him in the evening at his place. He instantly replied okay and I couldn’t help but smile thinking I am still his priority.

***

Damien’s P.O.V

I thought meeting Rachel for the last time would be a dreadful idea and yes I was so right. I stood numb and shocked as she told me that it was Edward who forced her to abort the baby... My baby... I didn’t know I should be happy or feel remorse at his demise.

I slid on the floor as I still tried processing it. I could have been a dad! I would have had my son in my arms, as we would have walked to the beach together, to his classroom and in the market. His tiny hands holding mine, feeling the strength and dreaming to be like me one day but all these memories are now just a dream because of that Lachlan.

I was super pissed and hurt now. I looked at the torn woman in front of me and wondered how much she had been through because of him and me. Yet I had been nothing but a d**k to her. The past moments came rushing to me as we dreamt of making a family together. I stared at her tear stained face and sad eyes and guilt crept on me. I dunno why but there was yet a small part saying me to step back but my other part thought to make up for the troubles I had caused to her.

I couldn’t help but hug her, feeling the warmth of her body and blurted out, “Are you willing to?” I wanted to know whether she really is willing to be a part of my life again.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I was hurting bad but it confused me. I should have been happy with the woman I was madly in love once and willing to be a family again still I had this feeling that I am losing something.

I was uncomfortable with her touch and I didn’t feel any sparks like I feel with... Tasha!

-‘f**k! I can’t do that to her. I love her now. I promised her to be with her always. I can’t do that and break her heart.’-

I pulled away from her embrace as I saw the office door closing and a silhouette retreating back.

‘-Can that be Tasha? Has she witnessed everything?’-

I grew restless. I could feel hands on my waist as I turned my head to see Rachel hugging me from back. I felt disgusted with self. I quickly pushed her a little and apologized not knowing what to do.

“What’s wrong honey? I thought you wanted to start everything from new.” She was now cupping my cheeks while gazing into my eyes intently.

I was confused as hell not understanding how to tell her that I don’t think I was ever in love with her. I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to hurt Tasha as well.

-‘But shouldn’t you be taking her care for all the trouble she had been because of you and your child?’- An inner voice said.

-‘Who knows? She might have lied.’- Another voice said in my head. That’s when I realized maybe... that could be possible.

-‘Can’t you see her face? The emotions playing on it. And didn’t those men in India said the same about Tasha? What if it’s her that is toying with your feelings.’-

Shut up! Shut the f*****g up! I mentally scolded myself as I can’t tolerate nuisance about her.

“Well... I think I will need some time. I am sorry but I... I...—“

“—You have moved on? I know. Don’t worry, it’s okay with me.” She cut me off still wearing that defeated look.

“I will take care of you till I can.” I blurted out.

“Damien! You don’t have to. I am just glad that I was able to share it with you, I think I should go now.” She averted her gaze and left the office.

I slumped on my chair as I thought how to make this situation better. I then remembered Tasha, rushing to her office I found it empty as I realized that it definitely was Tasha.

Fuck

I took my cell and dialed her no. But it seemed to be on another call.

I left her text message when I was called up by my mom Sarah.

***

I waited for Tasha to call me as I waited at my house for her. Its 40 min. past her stated time but she isn’t here and not even answering her call. I was pacing the floor length getting agitated with every passing minute. When I couldn’t bear it anymore, I called Edward and asked where Tasha was.

“She left an hour and more ago. Hasn’t she reached till now?” He sounded worried.

-‘This man! Why is he so influenced by her?’-

I clenched my fists. “No, I will call—“

Ting... the doorbell cut me off as I literally ran to the door and opening it without even glancing at the door monitor.

The door revealed her upset face which she tried to hide but the sight of it stabbed my heart. I know she was upset over everything she saw at the office and I was responsible for this pain she was going through..

I eagerly embraced her tightly and after some minutes passed she pulled apart giving me a confused look.

“Is that Edward I am hearing through your phone?” Her eyebrows crunched.

I mentally slapped myself as I held the cell phone against my ear and informed him that she is here. He said he wanted to talk to her but I ignored him and cut the call.

‘Does he really think I will let him try getting to her? Fool!’

I shoved the cellphone back into my pants and kissed her forehead as I felt her wriggle at the close distance.

“I think we should prepare dinner first.” She changed the topic and brushed me off taking her position in the kitchen.

“You don’t have to sweet cheeks. I have already planned to order the Chinese. Is that okay with you?” I asked her.

“Well... nope. I will order something Indian as I am starving.” She gave a toothy grin with her moistened eyes.

I can see how much she is trying to stay composed in front of me and it’s hurting me.   

“I think we need to talk.” I told her as she stilled and her hands shivered and lips quivered.

“Can we eat first?” She sensed what I wanted to talk about but doesn’t know the truth. She was dreading to talk about it and I couldn’t see her getting hurt. It was now clear that our bond was special. I could feel her emotions. I felt hurt when she did and there seemed like a magnetic attraction between us.

I swiftly embraced her in my arms and kissed her cheeks, eyes, forehead and head.

“Dam... Damien, I... I... am starving. Food please.” She pushed me lightly and turned her face while excusing herself. She left the kitchen and headed toward the left corner of the living room to use the bathroom.

I quickly placed both our orders and waited for her. It was another 40 minutes. Food did arrive but she didn’t. Anxiously, I barged into the washroom without thinking twice.

I saw her crying on the floor, with palm on her mouth and eyes closed. I touched her shoulder which took her by surprise. She stared at me with teary gaze and wiping tears in futile attempts.

I pulled her into my chest and kissed on her head as I stroked her hair.

“Darling! I am so sorry to have hurt you this way. I wanted to tell you that I can never leave you as I promised to you right? So, can we please talk?” I felt her nodding her head.

I carried her to the living room and made her eat the food. We sat in comfortable silent as we finished our food. It was now the tea-time that I decided to talk about it.

I explained her everything Rachel said and how I felt first. I told her I just feel responsible and wants to help her and not like a BF this time but as friend.

She relaxed hearing it. So now we sat here on the balcony under the moonlight with her in my arms.

“Damien... Do you really think Edward can do it?” She took me by surprise.

“What do you mean? That’s what Rachel said and I saw how she cried. That couldn’t be faked I guess?” that was more like a question.

She turned to face me as she crossed her legs in front of me. “No, what I mean is Edward said that was a bullshit and I have spent more time with him. I doubt it!” she said carefully as if in fear.

I took deep breaths not to shout at her. “Oh is it? Can’t we skip it? I don’t wanna ruin my night with you talking about that douche bag.” I said in a calm voice as she sighed deeply.

I turned her round again so that I could hug her from behind and rested my chin on her head. As much as I loved her, I hated that she was so defensive for him. She doesn’t know his reality but I am sure to hurt that man in a way he wouldn’t ever have dreamed of.

-‘Lachlan, I hope you could take my blow.’- I smiled inwardly.

I felt Tasha’s grip tightening on my hands as she moved more into me.

-‘Huh... Sorry sweetheart, you wouldn’t like my revenge on your bestie.’- I snuggled her closer to me.