Falling For My Ex

Chapter Four - Progress?

Justin

I barely slept a wink last night. Sydney’s words were running through my head. They were like a stab in the heart, but I deserved it. Though, it doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. If anything, it encouraged me to try harder. I don’t know if she will ever want to give me another chance, but I want her back in my life, even as a friend. I need her back in my life!

It is only seven o’clock, and I have done my workout, showered, dressed, did some housework and am on my second coffee. I am now bored. I will wait an hour before I grab breakfast and coffee to take to the hotel for Sydney.

I want to know what is happening with her because there is something. Why else would she be in a bar, drinking alone? She didn’t even used to go for coffee herself because she insisted it was embarrassing. Also, the fact she is staying in a hotel. I hate she is hurting, and I can’t make her feel better in the way I used to. I always found a way to make her bad days better and make her laugh.

Back then, I would have done anything for Sydney. She was my entire world until she wasn’t because I am a f*****g i***t! I was her entire world too. She was the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. Then I destroyed everything on a stupid whim. I need to find something to occupy myself. A good start will be getting out of my place.

I make sure I have everything before I leave. I can sit in somewhere for a smoothie since I have had enough caffeine for now. I will get another one to take with me to the hotel. I am nervous about showing up again, well, if she is still there. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had asked to be moved and told the staff not to tell me where she was.

I stop in at my usual smoothie place, and the café next door is where I will pick up breakfast. The hotel isn’t too far from here. All I want in five minutes of her time to talk. I need her to stop hating me. I want to explain and tell her no matter what happens between us, leaving her is the biggest mistake of my life. But I think it would be too much for her all at once.

It isn’t only my heart that still craves her, but my body too. I won’t lie; in the last five years, I have had s*x with many, many women. It was great, but I never managed to feel the same connection I did with Sydney. Our connection, our bond, was always so damn strong. Unbreakable, even, well, so I believed for years until I broke it.

I sit down with my drink and take my phone out. I instantly go back to all the photos of Sydney and me. I shake my head.

“You are a f*****g i***t,” I whisper to myself.

I sigh and slip it back into my pocket. I get lost in my thoughts instead.

“Justin, when did you get back?”

I didn’t recognise the voice, but when I looked up, I recognised the face. Tillie, Sydney’s best friend. She was my friend, too; the three of us went to school together.

“Hey, Tillie. A couple of weeks ago.”

I am surprised she is talking to me after I broke her best friend’s heart.

“Does Sydney know you are home?” she questions with a raised brow.

“Yes. I ran into her last night. She seemed sad, and why is she staying in a hotel?”

If anyone knows the answers, it will be Tillie. She takes a seat across from me.

“Because she stayed with her boyfriend, well now ex. She caught him cheating a few nights ago, and then she got fired yesterday for standing up to her asshole boss. Where did you see her?”

Fuck, another jackass like me who broke her heart.

“What, the guy she was with for a while? I ran into her at a bar last night. I tried to talk to her, but she ran away from me. I only found out she was staying in a hotel because I followed her. Yes, I know that makes me sound like a crazy ass stalker, but I needed to talk to her. I managed, but only for a few minutes.” I sigh.

“Yes, that bastard. I never liked him. I was surprised she was with him for so long because I honestly thought he was only a rebound from you. Can you blame her for not wanting to talk to you Justin, after what you did to her? She hasn’t been the same since.”

I can hear the annoyance in her voice as she talks to me.

“I know, I was a f*****g i***t. Trust me, I am paying for it now. Walking away from Sydney and what we had was the biggest mistake of my life.”

I am trying to hold back my emotions, but they are clear in my words.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you left, uh? I hope you don’t think you can just come back and win her back because it isn’t going to work. It took her a while, but she finally got over you, so you better not try to turn her world upside down again, Justin or you will have me to deal with.” She warns.

“Tillie, I know you are just looking out for your best friend, but I am sorry, I don’t plan on leaving her alone. The opposite, really. I plan on winning her back. She fell in love with me once before, and I truly believe that given the time and effort, she could fall in love with me again or at least be friends.” I reply honestly.

“No, leave her the hell alone, Justin. You ripped her damn heart out! You hurt her badly, and she has never trusted the same since. So back the f**k off.” She snaps.

She doesn’t give me a chance to say my piece because she stands up, shakes her head and leaves. I really hope Tillie doesn’t contact Sydney before I have a chance to see her because if she does, then I am screwed.

I finish up my smoothie and head next door for breakfast. I order bacon, slice sausage and potato scone on a roll for myself. And for Sydney, I order a fruit bowl with Greek yoghurt. She doesn’t eat greasy food in the morning. She also doesn’t like bacon or slice; well, the last time I saw her, she didn’t, anyway. I make sure not to forget the coffee.

I take my time to walk to the hotel to find the courage to knock on her door again. I arrive sooner than I like. I smile politely at the receptionist. It isn’t the same one from last night. I become nervous as I stroll to the elevator in case someone stops me; thankfully, they don’t, and I step into the elevator without issue.

When I reach her hotel room, I draw in a deep breath before I knock. She will know it is me. She might now answer. I am surprised when I hear it open, and Sydney stands there still in her pjs.

“You again?” she groans and rolls her eyes.

“Yes, I come with breakfast and coffee as a peace offering.” I smile.

Sydney falls silent and stares at me, “Fine, come in, but only because you have food and coffee.”

She steps aside, “Thank you.” I reply and enter her room.

I would call this progress, right? She didn’t slam the door in my face or tell me to f**k off. I will take what I can get.