Chapter 41 - is Ryan suicidal?

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Chapter 41 - "Oh bro, do you think that would work though?" I ask him, because I could have never thought of it as he said. "Come on, I know Olivia enough to know that this is your only option, don't make me have to do it myself." He says and I squeeze the empty packet of pineapple juice in my hand. "I'll do it and keep her by myside and make her forgive me and love her and…" "Did you just say love?" Ryan asks and I take a pause to rewind back to the previous minutes. I can't believe I said that myself. But I said it once, I'm not going to allow this strange need who is my bestfriend to mock me, so I try to change the topic. "But why are you telling me all this?" I ask again even though I know he wouldn't give me a straight answer knowing how hard it must be for him. I think

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