Oh, La-la!

Chapter 13. Kayla

The morning of the company picnic was hectic. Class ran long, so I didn’t have time to go home and change, but I tried to wipe the glaze off my leg with a wet towel in the bathroom. I guess it’s a good thing that it’s been warm enough to wear shorts so that I’m not showing up to this thing in my torn, stained jeans that I normally wear to class.

I walk as quickly as I can to the little pocket park where they said the picnic would be held, shoving my dad’s old business shirt that I wear to class into my bag as I hurry along the sidewalk. I can hear the commotion of the people in the park before I can see them, and I pick up the pace a little more, knowing I’m already late. As I round the corner and see familiar faces, my throat constricts and my heart stops. I’m sure the email said “dress for outdoor fun!”

I spot Ash as he turns and looks at me with a sweep of his eyes and a smile. My cheeks are burning and I wonder for a moment if I can turn and run back to my apartment to change before anyone else sees me and just claim I got lost on the way, but several people from our team turn my way. Most of their looks are inscrutable, but a few look at me like I’m trash.

Hurrying over to Ash, I try to hide my discomfort. “Apparently, I read the dress code wrong,” I hiss out.

He smiles at me and looks around. “Dress for outdoor fun!” he recites. “I think you got it fine. Is that paint on your thigh?”

“Glaze,” I tell him as I look around. Every other woman from the office is wearing jeans or shorts that reach past their knees and t-shirts. My denim cutoffs and skin tight tank top with a picture of a skeleton riding a chicken feels less than appropriate now. My scuffed tennis shoes feel suddenly heavy on my feet and I shift my ancient messenger bag higher on my shoulder. “Class ran late and I didn’t have time to go home to change,” I mutter.

Ash puts an arm around my shoulder and hugs me into his side, making me want to purr. “Relax! This is your mandatory fun day, if you don’t have fun, you’ll get written up.” I giggle at his corny joke and he lets me go. Fighting the urge to pout at losing the contact, I turn to look at him, startled to find he’d bent down closer to me and our faces were only inches apart. “Word to the wise,” he whispers conspiratorially, “avoid Claire’s lemonade over there,” he motions towards a table with his head. “It’s more vodka than lemonade.”

I’m sure my heart is pounding loud enough for him to hear, but I manage a weak nod. “Thanks.”

Things have been awkward between Ash and I this week after our late-night phone call last Friday. I’ve been oddly nervous around him, stumbling over my words and feeling unsure of myself. If it were anyone but Ash, I’d say I had a crush, but it’s Ash! Still, talking through the night while lying in bed felt more intimate than ‘just friends,’ even if it is only one-sided. I need to pull myself together and stop acting like a love sick puppy around him.

Before we can say anything else, a woman from HR that I remember from when I was hired, even though I can’t remember her name, stands up on a step ladder so she’s slightly higher than everyone else. “Ok everyone! We’re about to get the games underway! Form groups of three to four people!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brett heading straight for us. Fighting off panic, I grab Ash by the wrist and drag him in the opposite direction. I spot a woman I recognize and make a beeline for her. “Hi! You’re Joyce from accounting, right?” I smile at her.

She looks at me like I’d just slapped her. “I… umm… yes,” she says in a shaky voice.

“Do you have a team yet?” I sound way too intense, but I glance over my shoulder and see that Brett is getting closer.

“I… no… not-“

“Awesome! You can be on our team,” I interrupt.

“Ok, thanks,” she squeaks, but I’m not really listening.

I spot a skinny guy looking a little lost over her shoulder. “Hey! You got a team yet?” I call out. He turns to me, his eyes wide, and shakes his head no. “Wanna be on our team?” Nods yes. I fight the urge to roll my eyes and wave him closer. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Ryan,” he mutters.

“Nice to meet you Ryan! This is Joyce, Ash, and I’m Kayla,” I make the introductions rapidly feeling a little light headed.

“What was that all about?” Ash whispers in my ear causing a shiver to snake its way down my spine.

I turn and beam a tight smile at him. “Just wanted to make sure we have the dream team,” I say in a sing-song voice. “Hey, Brett, got your team all sorted?” I ask pointedly, hoping Ash catches on without me needing to explain it.

“No, not yet,” Brett says as he sidles closer and narrows his eyes at Ash before giving me a slimy smile that makes my skin crawl. “I was coming over here to ask if you wanted to team up with me.”

“Oh, sorry!” I say, trying to tap into those acting classes Tone made us take a few years ago. “We’ve already got a team with me, Ash, Joyce, and… uh…”

“Ryan,” the skinny kid says.

“Ryan!” I echo quickly. “Maybe next time, though!”

His smile falters and for an instant, I see the anger underneath before he pulls his mask of indifference down again. “Yeah, next time,” he mutters.

Ash glares at his back as he wanders off to find someone else to team up with, but he doesn’t say anything and I blow out a relieved breath. Turning to our new teammates, I plaster a smile on my face. “So, Ryan, what department do you work in?”

“Uh, the mail room,” he mumbles out.

“Wow, that must be pretty interesting,” I still sound like a freaking cheerleader or daycare teacher with this over-the-top excitement. Chill out, Kayla!

“Not really,” Ryan shrugs. “It’s actually pretty boring. But we do get to play Call of Duty sometimes when there’s nothing else to do.”

I nod, but I’m not really sure what else to say. Luckily, I’m saved trying to come up with any more small talk as HR lady gets back up on her step stool. “Ok, once you’ve got your teams, come over and stand by one of the pieces of rope. We’re going to start our first game!” Compared to this woman, my fake cheerfulness is practically sobering. “The rules are simple! Three team members each grab hold of the rope with two hands. Once you’ve grabbed the rope, you can’t let go for any reason! The fourth team member will then give instructions that you’ll need to follow to untie your rope. The first team to successfully untie their rope wins!”

“Um… I have bad knees,” Joyce says shyly. “Do you mind if I’m the one giving instructions?”

I shake my head as Ash answers, “No, that’s fine.”

Ash, Ryan, and I take our places around one of the crumpled-up ropes on the ground. “Begin!” the HR woman says and I swear, I’m stunned she doesn’t have a flare gun to signal with.

We follow Joyce’s instructions, but the rope seems to be getting more tangled, not less. “Ryan, can you put it over their heads?”

Ryan nods, and throws the rope over the top of Ash and I, but there’s no more slack and it tightens around the back of my thighs, slamming me into Ash who is equally unable to move. His chest feels like a solid rock wall that’s been warmed by the sun and I fight the urge to snuggle even closer to him. The scent of his cologne surrounds me and I have a brief moment of panic trying to remember if I put on deodorant this morning. “Well, this is awkward,” I mutter.

“Could be worse,” Ash says with a smirk.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brett staring at us, seething. There’s a vein in his forehead that looks ready to pop, and I swear even at this distance, I can hear his teeth grinding together. “It could definitely be worse,” I agree. “Still, I don’t think HR really thought this one through. And this is not going to help the rumors about us,” I scowl.

The surprise is evident on his face. “You’ve heard those?”

I shrug. “I’m not deaf. And no one in this office seems to know how to be subtle. Joyce, honey,” I call out. “Any way you could get Ryan to go back a few steps? I’m losing feeling in my feet. Normally, if the rope is this tight, I’d use a safe word.”

Ash makes a sound that’s somewhere between laughing and choking and I squint up at him. “That’s one of those things I’m not supposed to say out loud, isn’t it?”

“At least a little quieter,” he agrees. “I think you may have just made the rumors infinitely worse.”

“Sorry, guys! This is a lot harder than it sounded,” Joyce says, but she gets Ryan to throw the rope back to where it was and Ash and I get a little space between us.

“It’s ok, Joyce,” I tell her, trying not to sigh. It’s not the place or the time to fantasize about being tied up with Ash. “You’ve got this, just take your time.”

“Thanks,” Joyce squeaks. “Ok, Kayla, I think if you go between Ash’s legs…” Is she kidding me?

I let out a small groan and Ash chuckles. “I think you’re right,” he says so only I can hear. “HR definitely did not think this one through.”

Slowly, our rope begins to untangle and the more slack we get, the easier it is for Joyce to tell us where to move. A cheer goes up from another team as they successfully untangle their rope. I’m competitive, so there’s a slight twinge that we didn’t win, but I’m also relieved because if Joyce tells Ash to go on top of me one more time, I may explode. Unfortunately, the woman from HR pipes up before we can drop our rope. “Keep playing teams! Second and third place also get prizes!” Ugh.

“Ok, Ash,” Joyce says, and I clench my teeth together in anticipation. There’s only one last twist in our rope, and I’d prefer not to hear her instruction that is sure to make my mind go even further in the gutter. “Get behind Kayla and-“ Ash circles behind me quickly, and our rope is one continuous loop. Thank the gods!

Another team finished just before us, so we came in third, but at least the ordeal was over. HR lady was congratulating all the teams and the “amazing communication.” Oh yeah, amazing, I snort and Ash raises an eyebrow at me.

“You two make such a cute couple,” Joyce says.

“What? Us?” I squeak out. “Oh, no, we’re just friends.”

“Really? Because I’ve heard-“

“Yeah, just friends,” Ash interrupts her, and my heart clinches painfully.

“That’s too bad,” Joyce keeps talking, digging the knife in further, “because you two do make a really cute couple. I’ve got to go. I told Claire I’d help set up the food. You should really try her lemonade, it’s fabulous!”

I’m too shocked by her comments about Ash and I to laugh about the lemonade, and right now, I can’t even bring myself to look at Ash, afraid to see the look on his face about us just being friends. It shouldn’t bother me. I don’t even know why it bothers me. Of course we’re friends! This is just like Smash and Tone, and I’d never get bent out of shape if either of them said we’re friends. Of course, no one’s ever said we’d make a cute couple either. I roll my eyes and want to crawl into a hole in the ground.

“So… um… are you two, like, dating?” Ryan says.

Was he not paying attention to the internal crisis I’ve found myself in with the ‘just friends’ comment? “No,” I manage to grunt out. “We’re just friends,” I mutter, willing him to stop talking and go away.

“Oh cool!” he smiles at me. “So, maybe, we could like, hang out sometime?”

Could today get a little more awkward? I shift uncomfortably, trying to find words that say I’m not interested because my heart is twitterpated by the man who has said multiple times that we’re ‘just friends,’ but I can’t apparently get that through my head because he smells so damned good! So, when I want to say that I don’t want to hang out with anyone but Ash, I’m horrified to hear, “Umm… yeah, maybe,” come out of my mouth. F*ck.

“Cool!” Ryan is the most animated I’ve seen him all morning. “And hey, if either of you partake,” he winks, “feel free to meet us over by the bathrooms.”

I nod dumbly as he walks away. What the hell just happened?

Ash clears his throat and I turn to look at him, wondering how so much could go so wrong so fast. “I… uh… we should get some food before it’s all picked over,” he says, avoiding my eyes.

“Yeah,” I nod and start walking towards the tables where there’s a decent spread of brisket, coleslaw, biscuits, beans, and what looks like fried okra. “Hey Ash?” I wait for him to look at me. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! “I don’t want to go out with Ryan.” Why would I say that? What is wrong with me today? Maybe I need food. My blood sugar is low and it’s making me act like a crazy person.

Ash raises an eyebrow at me, but at least he’s looking me in the eyes again. “Ok,” he says slowly. “Why didn’t you just say that?”

“I don’t know,” I’m mortified, and I can’t even begin to sort out my feelings. “I just… I just wanted you to know.”

He nods, but his shoulders are tense and his mouth is set in a grim line. “Ok,” he says again before handing me a plate.

I sigh, and start loading up on food, not paying attention to what I’m doing. Fingers pinch me under my ribs and I squeal, nearly throwing my plate of food.

“Whoa! Someone’s a bit ticklish,” Brett barks out a laugh and it’s all I can do not to punch him in the nose.

“Brett, what the hell?” I scowl at him. He’s way too close, and it’s making me feel claustrophobic. I try to back away, but the table of food is right behind me, and there’s no path of escape.

“Hey! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he lies, putting up his hands like he poses no threat. “I just wanted to invite you to sit with me over there,” he points to one of the tables off to the side.

No. No, no, no! I look over at Ash for help, but he’s loading food onto his plate and seems completely oblivious to my distress. “Umm… Ash?” Please give me an excuse I can run with, I beg him silently.

Ash turns to look at me finally, and fixes Brett with a hard stare. “Yeah, go ahead,” my stomach drops and my eyes go wide. “I’m gonna go catch up with Bill.” He turns and walks over to where Bill and some of the older employees are talking, leaving me alone with Brett. I may have to kill him for this.

Brett puts his hand on my lower back, way too low for it to be a friendly gesture, but I suppose I should be grateful his hand isn’t actually on my ass, and steers me towards the table. The food tastes like dirt and I look longingly at the lemonade, knowing it would be a mistake to get drunk anywhere near Brett, but it’s tempting nonetheless. It gets even more tempting when the HR team announces it’s time for another game and Brett has practically joined himself to my hip. Even being borderline rude to him doesn’t get him to back off. Thankfully, the other games they’ve lined up aren’t as physical as the first one. Still, by the time they announce that we can leave if we want to, I’ve worked up the mother of all headaches, and my stomach is in so many knots I feel like I’m going to have heartburn for days.

“Can I give you a ride home?” Brett asks me.

“No, thanks!” I say quickly, already walking towards the bus station. “I’ll see you on Monday!” He grabs the strap of my messenger bag and I whirl to face him. He’s pushed me too far today, and I’m about to tell him off, but the look on his face makes the words dry up on my tongue. All my instincts are on high alert. This is a man that doesn’t take no for an answer.

“Kayla, there you are!” Ash appears like a knight on a white horse. He slides a glance at Brett and back to me, the unspoken question obvious in his eyes. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Yeah, I thought I lost you for a bit,” I laugh nervously, trying hard to control the panic that’s clawing at my stomach. “Are you ready to take off?”

“Ummm… yeah, unless you…” he trails off, giving a sidelong look at Brett.

“Nope, I’m ready! See ya, Brett!” I say over my shoulder as Ash falls in step next to me. As soon as we get far enough away that I don’t think we’ll be overheard, I let my shoulders drop. I’m so exhausted, I can barely stand upright. “Thanks, for that,” I tell him. “I’ll see you on Monday,” I add as I start for the bus station.

“Hey,” his voice stops me and I turn to look at him. “I thought I was giving you a ride.”

“You don’t have to,” I hate that my voice sounds so thick, the emotions welling up in me are taking over and I have an overwhelming need to be alone so that I don’t further humiliate myself by blubbering all over him like a baby.

“Kayla, get in,” he says softly, but it still sounds like a command. “You look exhausted.”

I nod, and shuffle towards his car, grateful to not have to deal with public transportation right now. It’s a short drive to my place, and neither one of us seems to be in a talkative mood. He pulls up to my apartment building and I mutter thanks as I reach for the door handle.

“Kayla, can I ask you something?” he says, his voice low.

“Of course,” I turn to face him, surprised at the worried look on his face.

“Ummm… you and Brett… are you…?”

“What? No! God no!” I say emphatically. “Why would you think that?”

He shakes his head. “Sorry, it’s just, you two looked close,” he mumbles. “I wasn’t sure if I was getting in your way.”

My jaw goes slack as I look at him, trying to understand the emotions radiating off him. Geez, did he really think I could be interested in someone like Brett? Ew. I shake my head. “Brett’s like a rash that no amount of medicine has been able to clear up,” I say. At Ash’s blank look, I add, “I can’t stand him, but he doesn’t seem to get it. Or care.”

Ash nods slowly, but I can still see the worry in his eyes. “Ok. Have a good rest of your weekend. I’ll see you on Monday.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded, not sure what to say but feeling like it’s important I say something. “Thanks for helping me out."

He just nods, and I get out of the car, walking to the door to my building in a numb haze. Today did not go the way I thought it would. And damn, I don’t even have any ice cream in my freezer to make me feel better.