In My Heart

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Angelo’s P.O.V.

In the two weeks I have attended this school everyday has been quite interesting so to speak. I met incredible people and I’m having the time of my life in high school; go figure. So im doing fine in the school work department because im super sweet and super persuasive and before you get perverted thoughts in you head, not in a s****l way, no more like in my awesomeness. Besides these people are pretty easy.

Speaking of incredible people Randy John Porter, that’s one fiiiiiiiine guy. I mean im not usually into football players but he is just something else. He is hot, nice, sensible and gets good grades and best of all he is bi or at least that’s what I heard but he comes off as a straight guy more than anything else so I don’t think I will try my luck there you know. One thing I don’t get is how he and Hawk don’t like eachother, I mean don’t great people usually love their great counterparts or whatever? Oh well that’s life I guess. But Randy on a serious note is just so...........i don’t even know how to explain it. The way his eyes light up when he speaks to people or about something he loves, the way he smiles so brightly when he is a good mood, the way he smirks at people when he has something up his sleeve, the way he pouts when he is sad or says something bad, the way he only says good morning if the morning is good, his walk, his accent which is normal considering that we come from the same country, everything about him..... is just I don’t know. ugh I know he wont like me.

On the brighter side of life hawk and I have become really close and I really trust him. I wish I could like as more than a best friend but unfortunately I can’t but that’s okay because he understands and says he sees me as bestfriend now, which is awesome because I don’t want to hurt him or anyone.

I haven’t spoken to Nate (my boyfriend, just in case you forgot) in a while. I’ve tried texting, calling, msn-ing but its either he’s busy or he just doesn’t pick up or get back to me and that is worrying me quite a bit because I really like him. We have been through a lot together. But it doesn’t bother me as much I thought It would. I mean yeah im sad and all but not a sad as I thought I would be.

Right now im sitting in Biology with Hawk and I feel particularly upset about this nate thing. I mean what went wrong. Ugh...=( So here we are in Bio and Hawk is still trying to lift my spirits and its kinda working....hawk can cheer anyone up. He is so sweet-

“DUDE...!” he said loudly like he just remembered something. The teacher shot him a glare and he bent his head in apology but still went on “I forgot to tell you! There is a party at Jay’s beach house. Its gonna be off the hook. Ass ass ass and some more ass....pussy and weed will be there too. But ASS woooh that guy just knows the right people.... we have to go!”

“uhh...i don’t know, I don’t think im in a party mood yah know...besides I don’t even know Jay that well and well I don’t know...” I said trying to think of way not to go.

“But I can’t go alone......and it will help you forget about Nate.....maybe forever, huh, please please please.....everyone will be there even that Randolf Porter..” he begged pouting and scowling when he said Randy’s name. wait randy is going. Hmm that might be interesting

“I still don’t get why you don’t like eachother. Its weird but.............ok I will go with you just for the sake of making you happy” I chuckled smiling innocently....

“AWESOMENESS!!!” Hawk exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

“Mr Peters please refrain from doing such things in this class. Die is nie jou ma’s se huis nie. gedra jouself (this is not your mothers house. behave yourself!)” she hissed narrowing her eyes.

Hawk just looked down and apologised. I just had to laugh at him. Oh my goodness.

I rubbed his back in a slightly mocking way.

“look on the bright side.....we get to party. Don’t feel too embarrassed” I said to him still laughing a bit.

“whatever. Its not funny.....but I suppose you are right.....party woooh. I will pick you up at 7 so we there by 9 or something. Its quite far. But hey, all that ass is worth it.” He said smiling that infectious Hawk smile. This guy is just too much.

After school I went home feeling only slightly excited about the party, I am still worried about Nate, what could be happening with him? He would call me if something bad was happening or about to happen, right? No no no, no, no I will not think about Nate tonight I will call him first thing tomorrow but for now I wanna have fun and party and drink and have reckless drunken s*x with a stranger that I probably won’t remember......

JUST KIDDING... don’t freak, I’m not a cheater. Never. Although I may make an exception for Randy.......I’m just kidding. Goodness I know im hot but there is no need to exploit my heavenly good looks. Im mean – who is calling me now.... Nate? Wow I never thought he’d call me now.

“hey babe” I answered happily

“hi Angelo” he replied monotonously

“uh... h-how are you?”

“fine” again with the monotone

“umm...ok. whats with the attitude?” I asked cautiously with irritancy dripping off everyword.

“I don’t know what you mean” again with the f*****g monotone!

“Don’t give me that shit... what the f**k is going on. Why are you giving me that tone you know I hate? What the f**k is up babe? You are kinda freaking me out?” I snapped for f***s sake I hate that monotone voice

“What the f**k is going on? I am sick and f*****g tired of this relationship that’s what the f**k is up. Im sick of you. Im sick of us. I need to move on. I cant be in this suffocating relationship. Im tired of you always being up in my s**t. I cant do s**t anymore since I got with you. Im tired of this!” he yelled through the phone.

“W-w-what?” i replied with tears stinging my eyes.

“you heard me Ryan.” Wow he hasn’t used my last name since the last time he was mad at me. But f**k I never did anything.

“What the f**k are you on about? Im suffocating you? *insert sarcastic laugh here* how? We aren’t even in the same city anymore so what the f**k are you talking about? Im never up in your s**t you know we do our own things and now you wanna come give me this.....this s**t? f**k that s**t. If you wanna f*****g break up with me, be a f*****g man and say it straight. Don’t come make up shit.” I yelled back narrowing my tear filled eyes even though I knew he couldn’t see me. My voice was beginning to break with tears and sobs but I wouldn’t let him know he had this affect on me.

“Fine Angelo. Its f*****g over. Me and you we are done.” He hissed I could hear the venom dripping from his voice.

“Ah so now we get to the point huh? Great Nate f*****g fantastic. We are done. Whatever but you know what you could have at least had the decency to tell me why.” I replied coldly

“I don’t have to explain s**t to you”

“f*****g coward. Cool. I understand...i-i-its o-over.. Bye.” I stuttered toward the end then put down the phone before he had a chance to reply and that’s when I broke down. I let all the tears run free. We are over and me....i... I’m broken.

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It been a few hours since we broke up and you know what f**k that. Im going out and having fun tonight. Im not going to think about Nate or his stupidity. Im sick of this depression thing..its so exhausting (haven’t you ever felt like being depressed takes a lot of energy). I got up to go take a shower private bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I almost had a heart attack. Damn you Nate! Ugh. Now I have to take an extra long shower. Huh. I stripped down after setting the water to the perfect temperature and let the perfectly hot water hit all my tense muscles.

Let the rehabilitation begin.