About That Night

III. strange jerk

Olivia

Why is he acting so strange?

That was the question I had been dying to get an answer to since I came face to face with him in his room. Well, I did not really eye-to-eye him but I knew something was off when I was so close to him just a while ago. It was just not the same vibe anymore. It felt off, awkward… just something not good.

You made a mess in his room and broke some of his car collection. You know how precious they are to him. Of course, he’d be upset.

Right. Maybe, that’s why he’s ignoring me badly. I should make it up to him soon.

That was what I thought but the moment I offered him my help with the food trays, hoping he would be okay, he just brushed me off and that really hurt. It really did cause a terrible tightening feeling in my heart. I wanted to cry right there because I realized he had changed a lot. He was not the same boy I had known before. Of course, he was all grown up now but…

He’s just… different.

I did not want to be so explicit about me getting deeply affected by his words and action. I played it cool and it was against what my heart was telling me to do. The heart was telling me to confront him straight and ask him what the heck his problem was but my mind was sure that it would only make the situation worse than it already was. My rational thoughts were telling me it was not the right time to talk about it. The breakfast would be ruined.

It already is. I can’t feel it. I can’t feel him.

I genuinely wanted to make it up to him but he was not letting me even come near him. He was pushing me away without telling me right to my face. He did not want me here. He despised my presence and I really wanted to know why. He did not miss me and that hurt so bad.

With a heavy heart, I tried my best to ignore him who was just right beside me. I ‘tried’ because it was one of the most difficult things I had to do. I never ignored him before. We were inseparable since that day he pushed the kid who made me cry at the park. We were glued to each other as childhood best friends until I had to go back to Australia. Since then, things just changed. We suddenly lost communication.

I wish I could turn back the time and make it right.

It was just funny how I imagined, while we were on the plane, of hugging him so tight when I see him again. I was so damn excited because I would finally get to see him after long years. I was literally jumping in too much excitement when we arrived at our house yesterday night. The flight was tiring but I could not sleep because I kept thinking about him. I kept trashing in bed or just stare at the ceiling because I was so anxious to see him again. When I did fall asleep, I dreamed of him like I always did.

I miss him so much.

But, what the heck happened? This was not what I wanted it to be. This was so far from how I imagined it.

Mom and I were warmly welcomed by Aunt Sapphire and Starr when they greeted us at the front door. Starr was so kind and adorable. She was twelve years old. She wasn’t there yet when I was still here eleven years ago. It was just still us. Us. I was not sure if that still exists. It existed.

Anyway, their welcoming was so nice. We felt at home just like in the old days. Mom and Aunt Sapphire started talking right away. They missed each other so much that they forgot about me and Starr. Starr helped in the kitchen and I was left alone to admire the house I once called home before.

The house had the same aesthetic peaceful ambiance. The difference was the renovations in the living room and the decorations on the wall. As far as I could remember, the walls were beige the last time I saw it. But now, everything was white and so neat. There were now indoor plants on the corners too. The furniture was changed too. The frames of the paintings on the walls were plain black. The interior designs screamed Nordic. Aunt Sapphire must have turned to a minimalist now. It was pleasingly good.

Because of my deep excitement to see the rest of the house and the changes, I did not hesitate to climb upstairs and walked into his room. However, I did not expect it to be exactly the same as it was before. I at least hoped there little changes but surprisingly, everything felt the same. Plain white walls, his guitar beside his door, his car collection his display shelf at the right side of the room, his clean white duvet, and his signature black curtains. At least, his tastes never changed. He was neutrally simple even in the choice of colors.

But… I did not like him neutral when it comes to me. He is the only one that’s changed and I don’t get why.

There was one thing that caught my attention while I was studying his room. It was a picture frame on the very top of his display shelf. It was not facing his bed but the wall and I was curious what photo was in it. With my short height, I kept jumping to reach that but the wooden shelf suddenly moved in my direction. I panicked that I didn’t get to keep its balance. I knew I was in trouble when it fell down and caused a commotion. I did not know what to do but I ended up hiding in his closet.

Worse things happened and I did not want to talk about it. Just thinking about made my cheeks hot.

“Storm, can Lulu ride with you to school next week?”

My eyes widened at my Mom who just asked Storm that. “Mom, don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can just hail a cab to get there. I’m good.” I threw her a look to just drop her favor, hoping she would get it.

“Sure. No worries.”

What?

Frowning, turned to look at him who was casually smiling at my Mom like he did not have a problem with it at all.

Why is he smiling?

“I can’t wait to start high school.”

I silently thanked Starr for randomly sharing that because our attentions were now diverted to her.

“What do you think about going to the same school as your brother’s now?” Mom asked.

I was not sure why I did not get that trait from her which I was glad about. She just talked a lot. In a group, people had to give her time to talk because she just loved that activity so much. May it be an infant, toddler, a kid, or oldies, she would never ignore a conversation from anyone she knew was not a threat.

“It feels exciting, especially that Lulu is going to the same school with us. Hey, Lulu. You can ride with us any time. And then we can have lunch together with Storm. How does it sound? Exciting, right?!”

They laughed, excluding me and her brother. My immediate reaction was my brows raising, eyes slightly widening and my mouth hanging open. I did not know what to say. It even made me feel more awkward because her brother surely did not feel the same way about hanging out more often with him. It was sad but it did not make me feel less hopeless. I was not welcomed. When he said ‘sure, no worries’, I was sure he was just being nice to my Mom and that he could not say no to her. I still hoped he would talk to me soon, though.

Speaking of him, he poured himself a glass of water before standing up. I did not look up, but the other girls did and her mother asked, “Where are you going?”

“I need to fix something in my room. You know how I always want it organized and neat.” He told Aunt Sapphire.

“Oh, alright. Lulu, why don’t you come with him? Maybe you could help him decorate his room nicer. Your Mom told me you like decorating and all that.”

No way.

I silently screamed in my mind. Just no way.

This family is so full of surprises.

“Uh… I… I… Uhm…”

How the heck should I say no?

Just ‘no'.

“Come on, sweetie. We know you’re just both too shy to talk to each other right now. It has been years and you’re all grown up. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you just need some privacy to talk as friends.”

Seriously, Mom?

I stared at her blankly, but I was dying to scream out loud and pull my hair out of frustration.

Isn’t that what you want? To talk to him?

No. I want him to talk to me and as if it’s going to happen. He only opens his mouth for his pancakes.

“Don’t you want to help me?” He asked, emphasizing ‘help’.

Oh, you can talk.

Trying my best not to roll my eyes at him, I stood up and forced a smile on my face. I swore I saw him smirking at me before he walked past me towards the back door. Sighing, I followed him silently.

Help.

It was clear that that help did not mean decorating but literally cleaning out and fixing what I had done. It would be bad to just ignore that matter too. I caused it and I would help even if he wouldn’t want it.

And I was right. He did not want my help. At all. He just did not want to say no to them.

When we got to his room and after I closed the door behind me, he said, “You can stay wherever you want. Just don’t touch the collection, okay?”

Woah.

I blinked.

I wasn’t hurt by his words but by the way they came out of his mouth. His tone was mad and I could not blame him for being harsh to me about it.

“Okay,” I mumbled. “I’ll just go help them downstairs if it really sucks seeing me here.”

They came out of my mouth because of how tight it was in my chest. I could not take it anymore. He was being so harsh. Why couldn’t he be nicer? I just wanted to help. It was unfair, though. I did not know why he was treating me like he did not know me at all.

I turned around right away and headed for the door because it wasn’t like he was going to say something but he suddenly stopped me when I was just about to open it.

“Wait. Can you at least help me get this up? You caused this in the first place.”

That was when I rolled my eyes. Seriously? I turned to face him. He was staring down at the mess I had made. When he looked up, I looked away. Without saying anything to each other, we made the shelf stand again and pushed it back against the wall. By the time we were done, I was slightly panting. It was heavy.

“You can now lea–”

“Can we get this done first before shooing me out? At least, I could make up for this.” I told him without looking his way.

I started with his books, putting them back orderly on the shelf. I didn’t touch his cars as he demanded. Silence settled in the room as we put his things back to their place. I saw the same picture frame on the floor. It was the only thing that was left and on the floor still. I completely forgot about it because of panic. I was just about to pick it up and see what or who it was in the frame when he swiftly picked it up before I could even bend down.

Oh.

“It’s done. You may leave.”

“Sure.” I threw him a fake smile before turning around and walked out of his room for good.

Strange jerk.