About That Night

IV. he’s definitely changed

Olivia

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I answered my Mom who was driving us back to our house. I was not in the best mood. Who would be?

Looking out the window from the passenger’s seat, I could not help but recall everything that had happened today. It was just one day. Not much really happened but the hours felt so long. After breakfast, we went to the mall with the Butlers. Mom and Aunt Sapphire met up with Aunt Allison there. They talked a lot and caught up with each other. The three of us, Storm, Starr, and I did not have a choice but to let them be themselves.

Storm got bored and went somewhere in the mall. I did not know where. I stayed with his sister and went shopping. I just got some outfits and supplies for school. After that, we had lunch together at a fancy restaurant and went to Central Park.

It was against my will to go there. There were so many memories and I was with the guy with whom I made those memories with. I did not want to be there but the smirk on his face was telling me that I was too scared to remember everything and I did not like that. He knew it affected me so I had no choice but to pretend like it did not hurt me.

I did not realize Mom had already parked their car in our driveway until I saw the familiar white wooden fence of our house. Without saying anything, I hopped out of the car and walked past through their gates and to the front door. Realizing that Mom got the keys, I stepped aside and let her open the door. I headed straight upstairs to my room, plopped down on the bed, and kicked off my Converse and socks.

“You’ve been really quiet since we got back to Sapphire’s place from the park even during dinner and now.”

I had no idea my Mom followed me up here.

“Am I?” I mumbled without looking at her. I was tired physically and a little bit emotionally. I could manage. Though. I had been through so much in life to not endure heavy emotional stress such as this one. I was strong enough. Or maybe not.

“Olivia, is there something wrong?”

“Yeah, there is.” I could not lie to her. She would only think I was lying if I said no. She knew me a lot as my mother.

“What is it, honey?”

I felt my mattress dip as Mom sat crossed-legged on the bed beside me.

“Storm’s acting weird.” I blurted it out while staring at the dreamcatcher that was hanging on the ceiling beside the lightbulb. It made my chest tighten in pain just thinking about the guy I could not stop thinking about.

“What? How can you say so?” She asked.

My mother might be the most talkative person in the whole world but she was the most comforting human being. She might annoy me with how she could not stop her mouth from talking but she was the best mother I ever had. I was grateful for her no matter what.

“I don’t know, Mom. He just doesn’t talk to me… anymore.” I kind of trailed off because it was just so sad to say it. Maybe, I just had to accept that he was now different and that he was so far from the Storm I had known.

He’s a literally Storm now.

“Maybe, he’s just shy. Ya know, you’re both grownups now and things are surely different considering your age.”

Yes, she was right about how things change but considering our age? What does she even mean? Does he have to change because we’re young adults now? People change, indeed.

I knew my Mom and I knew she was just trying to say what she thought was the best things to tell me at the moment. She was doing her job as a mother—to make me feel better. But, it was not that easy because I was really affected. I couldn’t hide it.

“Come on. Don’t worry about it. You both will feel comfortable with each other again soon.” She was running her fingers through my hair as she said that.

“Hopefully,” I whispered. I really hoped so because this was not nice at all.

“Get some rest. You must be tired. Good night.”

“Thanks, Mom. Good night. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She kissed my forehead before climbing down the bed and blew me a kiss before heading out and

closing the door to my room.

A sigh escaped from me when I was left alone in my room. Mom was right. I was tired. Really tired from this day. It might not be the day I wished for it to turn out, I was still grateful that I had finally met him again.

Eleven years… It was too long.

“What happened to you, Storm?”

Yes, I talked to myself when I was alone. Did I sound crazy? I did not think so. Maybe, I was? I was answering my own questions in my mind. Right, maybe, I was.

“Ugh…” I groaned, hating the fact that he could not seem to leave my mind. I twisted and laid on my stomach. “Just let me sleep, Storm,” I mumbled on my fluffy pillow in a white silk pillowcase. “Let me clean up first.”

Pushing myself up, I climbed down my bed and walked into my bathroom to take a quick shower. However, I ended up taking so long in the shower. I just stayed, letting the shower cascade down on me as I stared at my bathroom wall. It was just so hard to get him off my mind after what happened the whole day.

“I hate you.” I sniffed. “F”ck, why am I crying?” I groaned for the second time and finally forced myself to erase the image of him and finish showering. When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my body as I stepped out of the shower and walked to the sink. I brushed my teeth and found myself staring at my reflection after that.

Is it because of this ugly face? What doesn’t he like about it? Do I look really bad?

Insecurities started to crawl under my skin. I hated it because it made me think of the worst things about myself. I started to think of the possible reasons why he was avoiding me but just seeing myself in the mirror made me think it could be my appearance.

My hand raised absentmindedly and I touched my cheek.

Maybe, he doesn’t want to be seen with this face in school.

I realized I was pale.

You turned the shower to cold.

It was warm.

I argued. I have little freckles under my left eye. My cheeks were a little chubby but my face was not that round. I was not that tall, just around 5’5”. I then looked down at my towel-covered belly. It was flat but I was not skinny.

“Whatever.”

I shook my head and dismissed all those thoughts. I was ready to go out of the bathroom but I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and slapped my cheeks with both hands thrice, just soft enough to make them red, and then finally headed out to my closet. I changed into my pajamas, blow-dried my hair, put some moisturizer on my face, lip balm on my lips before getting under the covers.

Unfortunately, he invaded my thoughts again. I had to admit he had changed so much physically after eleven years.

He was taller than I expected. He had the nicest dark brown hair, most beautiful blue eyes, and sexiest brows. He was getting those muscles, looking so lean and… hot.

My cheeks felt hot all of a sudden especially when I remembered something hot. This day might be one of the happiest days in my Mom’s life but this was too embarrassing for me. I felt bad and embarrassed for myself because I was imagining scenarios in my head when I would finally get to see him. In my head, I saw myself running in excitement. I jumped in his waiting arms and hugged him so tight. I showered kisses on his face while he was smiling in the happiness of seeing me again.

That was when I realized how stupid that was.

“i***t,” I told no one in particular but myself as I played with the tips of my hair.

School popped into my mind and I remembered I had to go ride with them. Did I really have to? I knew where the school was and I was used to being alone all the time. I could find my classes by myself. I could have no friends and sit in class as I take down notes or just listen to the teacher. I could eat snacks and lunch in a cafeteria with no one to tell how my day went so far. And I could go walk home alone after a long day of classes.

But school is fun with friends.

I was not being bitter about having friends because I would be a new face to their campus. It was just due to my belief that the lesser people you engage with, the lesser the problems. Yes, I was more of an introvert than outgoing but if I would be with the people I was so comfortable with, I was the happiest without me needing to talk.

“Will they wait for me?” I thought out loud.

I had heard Storm telling Mom that I needed not to go to their house on Monday because they would come to pick me up. I thought about waking up early, getting ready fast, and walk myself to school but I would feel bad if I knew

they really dropped by.

“I guess you don’t have a choice.”

I just pitied myself.

“It’s okay, Lulu.”

Lulu.

I scoffed. I did not call myself that until he gave me that nickname. He said it was cute. My Mom called me Olivia and my Dad called me Marie. When they were both angry, they would call me ‘Olivia Marie!’. I liked ‘Lulu’ better but I did not like the person who gave me that name now.

Earlier at the park, while our mothers were talking their hearts out, there was a bench near the playground. It was the very bench that we used to sit on when we were kids. It was the only bench that was left unoccupied. We had no choice but to sit beside each other but neither of us talked. We just watched Starr talking to her friends ahead of us under a shed. The air was awkward, of course. And it was funny because we were trying our best to sit as far as we could from each other. For an hour, we just sat there in silence.

There were so many things that I badly wanted to tell him and so many questions that I badly wanted to ask, but I just could not bring myself to do so. I wanted to know what I had done wrong for him to be acting so cold towards me. At least, just that, but it was not that easy. I was scared to know that I might be the one at fault.

Within that hour of boring awkward silence, I fell asleep. When I woke up, his side was empty and in my blurry vision,

I saw his retreating figure. He could not even wake me up when it was time to go home. I chose to ignore that sinking feeling in my heart.

I had a feeling Monday would be worse than this day. Whatever would happen, I would try my best to show him that I did not want his attention. He had his walls up and it was so hard to climb them.

He’s definitely changed.