Chapter 5-2
586 Words
RJ coughed as they walked.
What was I supposed to say?
RJ glanced over to Pad who had followed the path back to the temple. Pad just said he loved him, and now—now they walked quickly without talking, looking for Chaz and Ann.
Shit! I wish he didn’t say he loved me.
RJ had feelings for Pad. Hell, he couldn’t deny the emotional connection they had or the incredible s*x from last night. Pad’s inexperience and innocence made him more attractive to RJ.
He saw Pad round the corner two feet in front of him, and he tried to guess what Pad was thinking. He seemed calm despite RJ’s silence earlier. As he approached, he thought about the things he should say, but he couldn’t find the words to tell Pad.
“There you are!”
RJ heard the voice before he actually saw him.
Chaz bent over and took off his sandals. “You need to take off your shoes before you get in each temple.” Ann stood next to him, waiting for Chaz. “Where you guys been?”
“We were looking at some things out there in the garden. We searched but didn’t find you guys.”
“Uh-huh.” Chaz shook his head. “If you guys want some alone time, then tell me—tell us.”
“Nope. We’re fine.” RJ said. He noticed Pad didn’t say anything but bent down to take off his shoes.
All four entered. This temple featured a large Buddha who lay on his side. While Pad marveled at the recumbent figure, RJ focused on Pad, who still hadn’t said anything since they left the garden. Other tourists streamed past them. RJ inched next to Pad so close he could see the glisten of perspiration on the back of Pad’s neck. Without asking, RJ grabbed the back of Pad’s arm then slid his hand to stroke it.
Pad turned and smiled in response. “This is amazing, don’t you think?”
“What?”
“Just the size of this thing. I think it’s beautiful. Don’t you?”
RJ looked at the statue, and shrugged. Looking at this religious symbol didn’t do anything for him. His family never pushed church and only went twice a year. He only came here to Thailand to have fun, to visit Chaz, and now, as luck would have it, to spend time with Pad before he left.
“Hey, Pad, let’s talk.”
Pad nodded, stepped out, barefoot, and scanned for his shoes.
Frustrated that he didn’t verbally respond, RJ followed him out and grabbed his own shoes as Pad put on his own.
“Are you mad?” RJ asked.
“About what?” Pad didn’t make eye contact as he spoke.
“That I didn’t say ‘I love you’ back?”
“s**t, RJ. It just slipped out. It was the moment. Forget about it.”
“Are you sure? I mean—I’m confused—what are you telling me?”
“Oh my God, RJ. I didn’t mean ‘love’ like really love you. I didn’t mean it that way.”
RJ shook his head. He heard what Pad said, but Pad’s stiffness, the indirect eye contact as Pad spoke, made RJ question. With the sun in his eyes, he squinted as he tried to get a better gauge of Pad, but Pad turned to look at the street and the traffic that passed. RJ tried again to get a read, but Pad decided to put on his sunglasses at that moment.
He knew he had to say something, so he moved behind Pad and whispered in his ear. “I care about you. So tell me if I’ve done something wrong.”
Without facing him, RJ continued to stand behind him then threw his hand over Pad’s shoulder. Pad put his hand over RJ’s left hand. “We’re good. You’re making a big deal of something that came out wrong in the first place.” Pad went down the steps of the temple and turned, smiling.
He’s acting like nothing happened.
RJ should have been relieved, but his gut told him that he just bungled it.
- Writer
