Fortress Island Series 2 Romano: Can't We Try (BOOK 2)

TWENTY: IN MY DREAMS (PART 1)

Romano took possession of my mouth and I just let him. Even though I was splayed on top of him, he was in full control. Alam kong lasing ito at alam kong hindi nito alam ang kanyang ginagawa, pero katangahan ba ang namnamin ang ganitong sandali? Ang sandaling matatawag kong akin.

Di bale nang lasing ito, di bale nang para sa kanya ay isa lamang itong panaginip, pero hindi ko ito aawatin sapagka’t sobrang namimiss ko ang presensiya niya. Ang paraan ng pagkakawahak niya sa akin. Bawat haplos at hagod ng kanyang mapag-angking kamay ay abot langit na ang dulot sa akin.

Sa ngayon, hindi ko iisipin ang ginawa niyang pananakit sa akin. I would not dare break this spell, this dream or fantasy I was having right now. Tonight, I wanted to give him my body and soul.

Romano changed our position and I was now lying on my back beneath him. Gusto kong mapangiti nang maramdaman ang bigat ng kanyang katawan sa akin. I missed him so bad. When did the last time we were this close and intimate?

Mas mapusok ang paraan ng pag-angkin nito sa aking mga labi na halos kapusan na ako ng hininga. Pero kahit pa siguro maubusan ako ng hangin, hindi ako titigil sa pagganti ng kanyang halik sa takot na baka nga isa lamang itong panaginip, katulad ng sinasabi nito.

Romano tugged my lower lip and I groaned. I loved how he tasted in my mouth. His taste was a mixture of vodka and mint that made my inside swirl with so much carnal needs na siya lamang ang makakapagbigay.

Oh, lord, but it’s been so long since the last time we made love and I couldn’t wait for him to completely owned me.

“I wanted to hate you, Mira.” He murmured as he nuzzled my neck. Napaliyad ako sa mapangahas nitong kamay na humahaplos sa aking kanang dibdib ngayon. Hindi ko mapigilang mapapikit.

“You already did. You probably hate me now.” Impit na sagot ko. Pigil na pigil ang sariling hindi mabaliw sa mga masasarap niyang haplos sa akin.

“I don’t hate you, babe. I never did. I won’t ever.”

I stopped squirming underneath him and snapped my eyes open. Our gazes met and I could tell by the way he’s looking at me, he’s telling the truth. Pero bakit?

“I don’t understand you, Romano. You told me I was disgusting.”

He shook his head. Umangat ang kanyang kamay para hawiin ang iilang hibla ng buhok na tumatabing sa aking mukha.

“I’m sorry for those foul words I uttered, babe. I didn’t mean them. You don’t disgust me. I’m never disgusted with you. Not ever. If anything, I am more disgusted to myself for wanting you so bad even though we’re…” He swallowed as his jaw clenched.

“You’re drunk, Romano. Sinasabi mo lang ito dahil lasing ka pero alam ko, bukas paggising mo, mas malala pa siguro ang iyong mararamdamang galit sa akin.”

“I’m not drunk, babe, I’m dreaming.” He smirked with a hint of arrogance. “And let’s not ruin this moment, Mira. This is my dream, not yours.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Hinayaan ko ang aking mga daliring laruin ang kanyang malagong buhok. “What if this isn’t a dream, Romano?”

He gave me a tight smile. “I hurt Mira. She won’t come here just to see me.”

“But I’m here now.”

“Because you’re a dream, babe. And I keep dreaming of you since the day I turned my back to you. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, palagi akong humihingi ng kapatawaran sa’yo.”

“Why did you become alcoholic?”

Romano sighed. He dipped down to press a kiss on my forehead. Napapikit ulit ako. I missed this gesture of his. He was about to pull away pero hinawakan ko ang likod ng kanyang ulo, not letting him go.

His face was buried at the side of my face. He laughed. “Babe, you have to let me go.”

“Ayoko.”

“Please.” Ang kanyang hininga ay kumikiliti sa aking tainga.

“Why?”

“Because I want to see your face and those expressive eyes of yours. Sa panaginip ko lang nasisilayan ang mukha mo nang ganito kalapit, kaya paki-usap, ibigay mo sa akin ang pagkakataong ito.”

Saglit na nanginig ang katawan ko sa paraan ng pagkakasabi nito. He was practically begging me.

Lumuwag ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya at binagsak ang mga kamay ko sa aking tagiliran. Itinukod nito ang mga braso at unti-unting inangat ang itaas na bahagi ng kanyang katawan palayo sa akin. He was now hovering above me again.

His amused, playful look welcomed me. “Hi, beautiful. I missed you for a moment there.”

I could not help but to feel giddy at his flirting. “Hello, handsome.” I knew that the moment he hurt me, I started hating him. But looking at him now, kay daling maglaho ang lahat ng sakit na dinulot nito sa akin. There’s a thin line between love and hate after all. I was so weak for this man and that’s okay. Dahil para sa akin, ang ganitong sandali na kapiling siya ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat. After all, the man owned me since the first day I met him.

I planted both my hands against his naked chest. “Romano, you didn’t answer my question.”

He titled his head. Confusion crossed his handsome face. “Could you repeat your question, babe?” Malambing na saad nito.

I breathed. “Why did you become alcoholic?”

“Didn’t I already answer that question? When I’m drunk, I dream of you. Just like now, you’re here with me and I get to kiss you and love you and own you the way I’ve always wanted, babe.”

“But I don’t want you to keep drinking.”

His eyes flickered and a sad smile stretched his lips. “I will never get through the day without seeing you in my dreams, Mira. When I’m sober, all I could think about was the pain and how it f*****g killing me. The pain of not being with you. The pain of losing you. I don’t want to face the future without you by my side.”

“What should we do?”

He laughed. “A simple question but to tell you honestly, I don’t know the answer to that question, babe.”

“I don’t understand.”

Romano sighed. Saglit nitong dinampian ng halik ang aking labi. “f**k, you taste so good and a lot better compared to my other dreams.”

“Romano…”

“Mira….” He gazed at me lovingly. “I’m a sinner and you’re my greatest sin.” He whispered. “You’re a crime that I would willingly want to commit over and over again because I am that crazy. I’m the criminal who’s crazy in love with a crime like you.”

“Do you still….love me?” I felt like my heart was about to jump from my chest. Sobrang lakas ng t***k ng puso ko.

Hinaplos ni Romano ang aking pisngi. His thumb lazily stroking my cheek down to my chin. “I don’t remember a day I stop loving you, Mira. I am irrevocably and hopelessly in love with you.”

“Then what’s stopping you, Romano? Why did you choose to hurt me?” My eyes started to water. The various emotions passed across his face were enough evidence that he’s indeed in love with me.

“Let’s stop talking, Mira. I don’t want to wake up from this.”

“But Romano—”

“I beg you. Don’t ruin this moment. The pain is starting to surface. I don’t want it. I don’t want it to consume me. Once the alcohol wears out, you’d be gone. And I don’t want you gone. I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Romano.”

“You will once you know the truth.”

“Try me.”

“I won’t dare.”

“Just try me, Romano.”

“No! Just shut up, Mira and let me kiss you!”

“But—”

The word died as Romano invaded my mouth in a savage way. He was pissed but I know there was more to it. He’s scared. He’s worried. Why was it so difficult for him to be honest with me?

Half of me wanted to protest. Gusto ko siyang pigilan sa pananalakay sa aking mga labi. Sa paghaplos sa aking katawan. Gusto ko syang tumigil para komprontahin kung ano ba talaga ang itinatago nitong lihim sa akin. Bakit ang hirap para sa kanya na ipaalam sa akin ang katotohanan, kung ano man iyon. He probably think of me as a weak woman. Iniisip niya siguro na kung ano man ang malaman ko tungkol sa kanya ay baka maging dahilan ng paglayo ko sa kanya.

Nang bumaba ang mukha ni Romano para paulanan ng halik ang ang leeg, I took that opportunity to talk. Between us, ako ang hindi lasing. Ako ang mas malinaw ang pag-iisip. At kahit pa siguro gustong-gusto ng katawan ko ang kanyang ginagawa sa akin, alam kong mas makakadagdag lamang ito sa problema kung hahayaan ko siyang angkinin ako.

“Hindi mababaw ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo, Romano. I am not that weak.”

“I know. But I am.”

“I can handle whatever it is that bothers you.”

Romano pulled my dress up. Hinayaan ko ito. He then unhooked my bra. “You can’t, babe. I couldn’t handle it myself. I almost went insane.”

I gritted my teeth. “Please, Romano.”

“Shh…just let me love you, tonight. Let’s talk about this in my next dream, Mira.”

Romano grabbed my nape once again and started kissing me—hell no, he’s devouring me as if I was his last supper. His body moulded against mine and a moan escaped my throat or was it from his?

Saglit na inangat nito ang katawan sa akin para pagmasdan ang aking kabuoan.  His eyes trailed down my body, and I instantly blushed.

“You lose so much weight, Mira.”

“And whose fault is that?”

He answered me with a smirk. “Still, you look beautiful in my eyes, babe. You’re the most precious thing that ever happen to me, Mirasol.”

“And you to me.” My voice broke.

Romano bit his lower lip. He trembled. “Why can’t we be together?” The vulnerability in his voice was something I could not miss. He sounded as if he’s on another level of kind of agony.

“We are together.” I answered softly.

“In my dreams, yes.”

Gusto ko siyang itama. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na totoo ang lahat ng ito at hindi lamang bunga ng kanyang imahinasyon o panaginip. But then, I don’t want to ruin this, too. Dahil kahit ako, pakiramdam ko’y hindi rin ito totoo. Baka nga nananiginip lang din ako o nagpapantasiya katulad ng mga gabing mag-isa lang ako sa kama at iniisip siya.

Romano latched on my breast and the air caught at the back of my throat. My n*****s hardened from the friction of his tongue against my sensitive bud.

“f*****g hell, Mira. Why do you to taste so good?” The hungry look on his lethally attractive face made the knot in my stomach tighten.

His strong, long fingers cupped my left breast and gave it a squeeze. His thumb and forefinger rolling my n****e and tugging it at the same time. My other breast was blessed by his almighty tongue, sucking and licking it altogether. A moan ripped through me. If he kept touching my breasts like that, I might have reached my orgasm in no time.

“Romano….” Ungol ko. I dug my fingers into his back—right where I could feel his marred skin. Romano didn’t flinch. I remembered how he used to get mad at me for touching his damaged skin. Sandaling bumalik sa aking alaala kung paano nasunog ang bahaging iyon ng kanyang likod. Romano was so willing to sacrifice his life just to protect me from getting burned. How could I not love this man?

Siguro kaya hindi ko lubusang magalit ng tuluyan sa kanya, dahil alam kong may bahagi ng buhay ko na pinaramdam niya sa akin kung gaano niya ako kamahal.

“Do you know how much I’ve wanted to do this with you, babe? The thoughts of not being able to touch you again f*****g kills me every single time. It frustrates the hell out of me. You’re off-limits but it doesn’t change a thing, Mira. I f*****g want you and I need you like I need air to breathe.”

His words made me teary-eye. I closed my eyes and turned my head to other direction. I didn’t want him to see me getting emotional. I didn’t want him to see me this way.

“Look at me, babe.” He ordered.

And I did. His eyes instantly held me captive as he spoke in a gut-wrenching tone. “I always want to look at those grey eyes of yours. Please, always look at me. Don’t look away from me. You are mine. Every inch of you is mine for the taking, Mira.”

I nodded as I bit my lower lip.

“Good girl. Now, where were we?”

Hindi na ako nakasagot pa dahil bumaba ang mukha nito mula sa aking dibdib patungo sa aking tiyan kasunod ang kanyang mga kamay na humahaplos sa bawat bahagi ng katawan kong nadadaanan ng kanyang dila.

Napaliyad ako nang tumigil si Romano sa aking puson at pinaglaruan ng kanyang dila iyon. Napakapit ako sa unan at mas lalong binaon ang likod ng ulo doon.

“Romano.” Impit na ungol ko. Oh, I could almost feel it. I could feel the pool of water dripping from my centrefold.

Using his bandaged hand, he shoved the remaining piece of fabric on my body down in one ruthless tug. He slid down from me in a matter of seconds.

I was in my glorious nakedness as he watched me splayed in front of him. I felt embarrassed by the way he was looking at me as if it was the first time he saw me naked.

“You look perfect, Mira. But then again, you always are.” He uttered, his eyes zeroed in on my s*x. “You’re not supposed to be this wet for me but you are. Bloody hell, you’re soaked for me, babe.”

“Because it’s you, Romano. It’s always you.” Sa kabila ng kahihiyan, nagawa ko pa ring sumagot. Ramdam ko ang pag-iinit ng buo kong katawan. My face was probably as red as tomato.

“Akin ka lang, Mira.”

Before I could even answer, Romano gripped my ankles and placed them on his shoulders. he lowered his face to my s*x and it literally took my breath away.

He took a first swipe of his tongue on my slit and all hell broke loose. I writhed on the bed as my hands gripped the bedsheets with my dear life. My whole body trembled as I started to lose it.

I tried to close my thighs but Romano was fast to hold my knees apart. “Don’t you f*****g dare hide that from me, babe.”

All I could do was to bite my lips and whimpered. I knew that we did this before but I couldn’t help but to feel shy knowing that it’s been months since we last made love.

“Open.”

“Rom—”

“Wide.”

Shit. He was glaring at me and I found him hotter than he already was.

I did what I was told but I closed my eyes.

“Eyes on me, Mirasol.” His reprimanding tone made me giggle.

“Don’t laugh at me. I’m dead serious.” Supladong tugon pa nito.

“How serious are you?”

“Like I would f**k the living out of you until you pass out from exhaustion kind of serious.”

Oh. Now that was something to look forward to. Nevertheless, I opened my thighs wider like a good girl that I was. I gained a smirk from the man whose eyes never left my soaking s*x. Just him looking at me like that could bring me to another orgasm in no time.

Romano plunged his head to my centre with his wet and hot tongue, as if he just tasted me for the first time, savouring me as if I was his most favourite dish in the world. I was gasping for air as I prepared myself for what was about to come.

“My sin.” I heard him spoke. His hot breath hitting my flesh. “Handa akong masunog sa impiyerno para lang dito. I’m ready for hell, babe. I’m ready for hell.”

Romano thrust his tongue inside me and I was a goner. A familiar sensation whirled though me as my back arched off the bed. A guttural sound escaped my throat as strong orgasm hit me like a tsunami.

As I was coming back to earth, Romano climbed up and crawled beside me, pulling me for a hug. Our bodies moulded together as if they were meant for each other.

His bandaged hand cradled the back of my head and I buried my face on his neck, inhaling his masculine scent that I loved so much. “Thank you for this moment, babe. I know this is just a dream but moments like this are so special to me.”

Bahagya kong inangat ang aking mukha para tignan ito. “Do you think this is still a dream, Romano?”

He brushed his nose against mine as he nodded. “I wish I could stay asleep and never wake up, babe. You see, when I dream of you, that’s the only time I am happy. Because in my dreams, I am free to love you.” A tear escaped his eye. “But the downside of this all, dreams are just….dreams.” His eyes started to flutter close.

My eyes sparkled with tears as I stared at him. Tinakpan ko ang aking bibig para hindi mapahikbi. Mas lalo kong siniksik ang sarili sa kanya at hayaang balutin ako ng kanyang init.

His breathing evened out. He finally fell asleep. Dinampian ko ng halik ang kanyang noo, ang tungki ng kanyang ilong at ang kanyang mga labi.

Hinaplos ko ang kanyang pisngi. “Mahal kita, Romano. Kung ano man yang lihim na ayaw mong ipaalam sa akin, at kahit dumating ang araw na malaman ko iyon, pangako, walang magbabago. Mamahalin pa rin kita ng walang pag-alinlangan.”

Isa pang oras ang nilagi ko sa kanyang tabi bago ako kumilos at lumayo sa kanya. I went to his bathroom to fix myself. Nang makapag-ayos, isang dampi pa ulit sa kanyang mga labi ang ginawad ko bago ako humakbang patungo sa pinto.