The Beauty Project

Chapter 6: Food Frenzy

Sophomore Year, September 9.

"WE ARE THE FALCONS

PROUD AND STRONG

WHEN WE WORK TOGETHER

WE CAN'T DO WRONG

UNITED, AS ONE

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

WE WILL SUCCEED

WITHOUT A DOUBT

FALCONS!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as we all froze in our final high V at the end of our cheer. My stomach heaved, and I struggled to catch my breath.

Wow. Cheerleading was a lot more work than I expected. And I wasn't even doing stunts, since I wasn't experienced enough. Which was fine with me, there was absolutely nothing appealing about holding a girl above my head.

"Let's go, team!" We all spirited as we skipped off the football field to our bench by the fence. I went straight for my water bottle and quickly chugged the whole thing down.

"Not as easy as it looks, huh?" asked Ginger, smirking. I shook my head, laughing. This whole week, I had done my best to be extra nice to her, with the new knowledge of how jealous she was of me. Even if she could be slightly rude sometimes, she seemed less.. fake, than the other cheerleaders.

"At least we look cute," I answered, gesturing to our uniforms. It was something I wouldn't have been caught dead in a year ago, but I actually look pretty good in it now.

Hopefully, Finn was here.

"So," Brittany said, as she slid next to me, earning me angry expressions on all the other girls' faces. "How did you like your first half-time routine?"

"Wow," I said, and she laughed loudly.

"Yeah, it's a lot. But.." she turned my face to the overflowing bleachers. "Look how many people we perform for."

My eyes widened. I had no idea that many people were here. If I had known a few minutes ago, let's just say the routine wouldn't have looked as good as it did.

Before I could respond, she had already walked away to go grab her pompoms.

"ALRIGHT, GIRLS! READY TO CHEER?"

We all yelled "FALCONS!" and ran after her to our spots on the sidelines.

I loved mine. Right in the front, by Brittany's side. It was perfect.

We cheered until the end of the game. As much as I hated to admit it, cheerleading was really fun. Everyone in the crowd would yell with us, and whoop when the other girls did flips and tricks. It was like while we rooted for the team, they rooted for us.

Once it was over, I grabbed my bag, and walked to the snack bar to grab something to eat. My stomach growled as people walked past with crisp chips oozing with cheese, hot dogs swirling with their spicy scent, and pretzels so soft, they seemed to be made of foam.

As I got in line, someone grabbed me. I squealed and turned to see Finn, his hair perfect, and eyes glinting with the reflection of the stadium lights. Though, I don't know why they turned the lights on, since it was only 7 and the sun was still setting.

"You were amazing!" He said, and I felt my face flush.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," he said earnestly. "Like the best cheerleader by far! Though, I will say," he narrowed his eyes at my outfit. "I never took you for the cheerleading type."

I shrugged. "Is that a problem?"

He shrugged back. "No, just saying."

"Okay," I said, moving further up in line. The smell of food was starting to make me feel a little crazy.

"Well, anyway," Finn said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Homecoming's in a few weeks, isn't it?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah," I answered, not really paying attention. We were standing right next to the pizza oven, and I could feel my hands shaking from hunger.

"Yeah, so, I was wondering if.. you know.. maybe..”

"I'll have two pretzels and a slice of pizza," I said in a rush as I finally made it to the front. Finn gave me a funny look, and I smiled apologetically. Was he talking? "Sorry, when I'm hungry.."

To my shock, he laughed out loud, and shook his head. "You have absolutely no idea how much that made my day."

I grinned at him. "Why?"

His smile dimmed slightly. "It shows that some things don't change." I felt like that was directed at me. I couldn't linger on it, however, since my food came out a second later.

I stuffed the first pretzel in my mouth, and the second followed close after. "Where's your food?" I asked, my mouth full. Honestly, I kinda forgot he was there for a second.

"I didn't get any," he replied, looking at me amused.

"You are so lucky!" a voice behind me said. I turned to see Trisha, another cheerleader, who was waiting in line. "To keep my figure, I can only eat, like, salad and fruit. That's seriously it. You're so lucky you can eat whatever you want without gaining!"

Nausea overwhelmed me. I felt my stomach already starting to pump up the food. My face must've paled, because Finn put a hand on my shoulder.

"Tanya," he started, but I ignored him, quickly shoving the pizza in my mouth, and running straight for the bathroom.

Before I got there, I realized I didn't have my bag. I glanced back, still running, and saw Finn holding it, staring at me with an expression of bewilderment, confusion, surprise, fear.

Like he knew exactly what I was doing.

Get it out. Get it out. Get it out.

Those were my only thoughts as I rushed into the crowded bathroom. Not even bothering to wait in line, I pushed myself into the nearest stall, and barely had enough time to lock the door before I hurled.

I let everything spill out of me, trying my best to keep quiet. Luckily, it was so loud in there I could probably have been screaming, and still, no one would have heard me.

Finally, there was nothing left in me. Relief washed me away, and I felt good again. Flushing, I opened the door and washed my hands. No one acknowledged me, and for once, that's exactly what I wanted.

I was just going to walk home, but a hand stopped me.

"Are you okay?" asked Finn, looking concerned.

"I'm fine," I flushed, and grabbed for my bag. For some reason, I didn't want Finn to know what I had done. He didn't need to. It's not like puking out your meals is important.. Right?

He held it away from me. "No, you're not." He bent over to look at my face, and put his hand on my forehead. His hand was burning hot.

"Ow," we said at the same time.

"You're burning up," Finn said.

"So were you," I shot back.

His cheeks turned slightly pink, and he looked down.

"Look, I'm fine, Finn. Don't worry, okay?" I put on the most obnoxious smile I could. "See? Happy."

He didn't buy it. He knew me too well.

"Well, at least let me drive you home. You're not walking after you puked."

Actually, I do it all the time, but he didn't need to know that.

"Okay," I said, walking with him to the parking lot. As he unlocked the door to his civic, it hit me.

Finn was driving me home. Like we were dating. Not that he hadn't driven me home before, but normally, his friends, or someone in his family would tag along. We had never driven alone. Not ever.

I sat on my hands so he wouldn't see that they were shaking. He carefully pulled out of the parking lot, and made his way onto the road.

An awkward silence engulfed us, until finally, pulling up to a red light, Finn turned to me.

"Um, Tanya?"

"Yeah?" His brown eyes flickered down, then back up at me. As if he was going to regret something really soon.

"Um.. well," the light turned, and we started moving again.

"We're almost at the house, Finn," I said, twisting my hands. I could tell he was going to ask me something important. But whether or not I would like the question..

"Well, it's just," he sighed, then said with surprising speed, "You seem to have changed a lot lately and you seem a lot thinner, but you still eat the same way you used to and cheer isn't even that much exercise and you're even more obsessed with food now almost like you're starving and you.." he paused to breath. "You're okay, right?"

We were stopped in front of the driveway now, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. Fear was literally paralyzing my whole body. Well, except for my hands, which were shaking so hard, I could feel them vibrating under my butt.

He did know me pretty well, but was it obvious to others too? I didn't want people to think I needed help, because I didn't. I had everything under control.

Which is why he couldn't worry. And if I told him the truth, that's exactly what he'd be doing.

"Finn," I said softly, and he looked back at me as if I were going to yell at him. I took a deep breath.

"There is nothing to worry about. Okay? I am fine. I can take care of myself." I mentally cheered at how even my voice came out. I sounded totally confident. Thank you, cheerleading!

He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't doubt that. It's just.."

"I know. And I'm telling you, exercise really goes a long way."

His face relaxed slightly, but he still seemed apprehensive. "Okay. I trust you."

"Good," I said, and kissed his cheek.

Wait.. What?! I quickly pulled back, and tried to ignore the blush raging on my cheeks. Finn's face matched mine, except for the pink lip stain on his cheek. His eyes widened and he looked adorable.

"Sorry," I muttered, before running out of the car.

Before I reached the door to the house, I could've sworn I heard a, "Tanya, wait!" but I didn't turn.

After all that questioning, I didn't think I could handle Finn finally telling me that he didn't feel the same way.