The Beauty Project

Chapter 5: Attention

Sophomore Year, August 31.

"Oh my God, have you seen her?"

"It's incredible!"

"She's kind of, like, pretty!"

"A summer can change you."

"Think she'd date me?"

"Wow.."

Whispers shadowed me everywhere I walked. I was used to that. The difference today was, they weren't offensive. Everyone was shocked and staring at me with their eyes widened.

At my locker, Tyler, my locker neighbor, who had never given me the time of day except to tell me I was blocking his view of Brittany, slung his arm around me.

"So, babe, what happened?" he asked casually, like we were friends before, but I know we weren’t. No one was except Finn.

"I.. nothing, really," I answered, for some reason, not wanting to share what I had done. Saying it would be like admitting I was fat before. I mean, I know I was, but being aware of something and admitting it are two totally different things.

Plus, he could clearly see ‘what happened’. I lost weight. I fixed my hair. I wore makeup. It really shouldn't have changed much.

But oh, it definitely did. So did everyone’s attitude towards me.

Tyler gazed in his locker mirror and fixed his already spiked hair. Then, he surprised me again.

"Here, let me." He grabbed my backpack, and started walking down the hall. I stood there frozen.

I just stared at him for a moment, wondering how a little weight loss could make my life so different. He was one of the most popular guys in school. It was too bad he had more muscle than brain. Tyler was carrying my- Tanya Michaelson’s- bag. No way this was happening. Then, I realized something.

"Um, Tyler?" I said hesitantly.

"Yeah, babe?" He answered eagerly. It almost looked like his eyes were sparkling.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "My class is the other way," I said, pointing the way.

To my shock, his face turned pink from embarrassment and with a mumbled, "I knew that," he changed course.

I made Tyler Lugar blush. I. Made. Him. Blush. Was I in heaven yet?

***

"Come on, Tanya," begged Kyle and some other guys.. all of whom had given me their number at some point in the day so far. It was shocking how none of them gave me a second glance before, but now they were almost begging for my attention.

"I told you guys," I said, blushing from all their attention. "I have to wait for Finn."

It was our lunch period and all of them wanted me to sit with them, but I wanted to sit with Finn.

Tyler groaned and shook his head. "He's such a loser though!" Suddenly, he breezed to my side. "Trust me, you can do so much better." He flexed one of his gigantic muscles. I smiled and pushed him away slightly.

"Maybe tomorrow, okay? Ask me to sit with you again tomorrow and I’ll think about it.”

All the guys rolled their eyes, and walked away muttering, "Fine", "Whatever'' and "You better”s.

"What was that about?" someone said behind me.

I turned to see Finn, staring at me, raising an eyebrow, with a plate full of pizza.

I looked down. "Um.. I don't.. I mean.." I stuttered, not knowing what to say. He was making me nervous.

He walked past me and sat against our tree, handing me a slice of pizza.

"Let me guess. They invited you to sit with them." He said, looking at me.

I nodded slowly.

"Then why aren't you?" He asked quieter, as if he was afraid the answer would hurt him.

I chewed slower. The truth was, he had never left me, even when it was clearly the better option socially. So I didn't think I could do the same to him. It wasn't fair.

Also, if all those guys were hitting on me, did that mean Finn thought I was pretty, too? If I ever had a chance with him, it was now.

"You're my best friend, Finny!" I said, smiling, and he laughed.

"Good. By the way," he sipped his milk, before throwing it in the garbage. It missed by more than a foot.

I giggled. "Wow, hello, Lebron."

"Like you could do better," he said, crossing his arms.

Without hesitating, I grabbed a wad of napkins and tossed them towards the basket.

"Swoosh," I said, as they gently tumbled in.

"Show off," he muttered, but I could see a smirk tugging at his lips.

"TAAANYA!" I heard an incredibly high pitched voice squeal. Oh God, no. Not her. I was not ready to deal with her yet.

"Well," said Finn, picking up the rest of his trash. "I will let you handle this one, Miss Lebron."

"Finn." I tried to sound intimidating, but he just smiled.

"Trust me, Tan," he took my hand and squeezed it.

I felt my heart stop. He touched my hand. He had never touched me willingly like this before. Oh my God. Did he feel the tingles like I did? He didn't show it, but then again, I didn't either.

A few seconds later, he seemed to realize what he had done. His eyes widened, and color filled his olive cheeks. He pulled his hand away as mine was scorching it. Warmth blossomed in my cheeks and I was pretty sure I was turning red too. I looked down so he couldn’t see the effect he had on me.

"Oh, I'm.. sorry," he mumbled, quickly getting up and leaving. My head snapped up to him as I watched him leave, not even sparing a second glance.

Great. He was still embarrassed of being seen around me. I guess I should have known that some things wouldn't change.

Maybe.. I just had to lose more weight for him, I convinced myself. Yeah, that would do it.

Shaking my thoughts off, I stood to face the group of people shadowing my tree and me. I fought hard to keep my voice level as I acknowledged their leader.

"Hello, Brittany."

"Oh my GOD!" Brittany squealed, pulling me into an unwanted hug. I fought the urge to squirm away.

"What?" I asked, trying to sound innocent, trying not to act as surprised as I was. Because it wasn’t every day your worst enemy was this close to cutting off your breathing circulation by hugging you.

Luckily, she pulled away and held my shoulders at arms length. Her pink claws dug into my skin.

"Are you joking?" She gestured to my body. "You look freaking amazing! Doesn't she, girls?"

As if on cue, all her minions came to life and started nodding, adding in comments of "yeah", "totally", "For sure!".

"That's enough," she said, laughing, pinching me a little tighter.

"Thanks," I said, still slightly in awe at all the attention I was getting. It was like I was a whole new person.

"Anyway," Brittany continued. "We here at Danville High have a proud goal to keep all beautiful girls on show, in a place where all who wish to be in their presence can! This amazing, wonderful place is none other than.."

All at once, one girl hopped on another's shoulders, while four flipped backwards. A few started dancing, and Brittany pulled a red megaphone out of nowhere.

"THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD!" They yelled in perfect synch.

I just stared for a moment. I mean, the cheerleaders? The same girls who used to call me fat and ugly? The same people who made my life a living hell?

Well, they did spend a lot of time putting together a show for me and everyone deserves a second chance.. Right?

Plus, I thought, looking at all their bodies, they were all skinny. Maybe being around them would help encourage me to keep losing weight. Maybe I could actually look like them. Maybe.. Maybe I could look better.

"So, when do I tryout?" I asked, making my decision.

Brittany laughed. "You're hilarious! Isn't she, girls?"

The girls all laughed and commented, "Hilarious!", "So funny", "I can't breathe!" until Brittany put her hand up.

"That's enough."

She looked at me again, her blue eyes ringed with mascara, freaking me out. I felt anger fill me. Of course, she was just messing with me.

"Look, hon. We've already told you we want you in the squad. All you have to do is show up to practice tomorrow, and we'll figure out where to put you. It's really no big deal."

Or maybe they liked me a lot more than I thought.

I smiled. "Well, I guess I could come."

To my shock, all the girls yelled and hugged each other. None came anywhere near me but they didn't really know me yet, so that was understandable.

"Fabulous! See you tomorrow!" shouted Brittany as she walked away, the rest of them following after her.

Everyone except one tiny redhead.

"What did I tell you?" asked Ginger, giving me a look identical to a mother's when her son tied his shoes for the first time.

"You were right," I answered. "Look how much of a difference it's made!"

Ginger checked the time on her studded iPhone before saying, "I've got time. Spill."

With that, I set about telling her all of my adventures of the day. She seemed pretty happy for me until I brought up Tyler.

"Wait, Tyler was hitting on you?" She asked, looking slightly flustered.

"Um, well, yeah. Why?"

She smiled, but it looked a little forced. "No reason. I was just under the impression he liked someone else."

I shrugged, not really catching her drift. “Maybe he changed his mind?”

She sighed long and deep. "Yeah.”

Then, she turned to me. "You know, not to be rude, but they could be being nice to you because, I don't know, they feel bad for you."

I felt my heart shatter. "Wh-why?"

"I don't know," she said, picking at her nail polish. "I mean, you didn't hear it from me but I heard Kyle calling you a wannabe."

"How am I a wannabe?" I asked, feeling familiar tears prick my eyes. "I didn't change to please other people."

"Didn't you though?" Ginger murmured, before getting up.

I gave her a look.

"Anyway, just stay away from him, okay?" she said, leaning towards my ear. "Trust me. He's a dick."

I looked at my feet. I couldn't believe it. All this work for nothing? Maybe the cheerleaders were faking how much they liked me too.

Except.. then they wouldn't want me on the squad, would they?

But then, Ginger would be the liar. And why would she lie to me? Suddenly, it all made sense.

Ginger was jealous of me.