Connectors of the Two Worlds

Chapter 5

I am...

obviously not having the good qualities someone is looking for. I am nothing in particular, and it's obvious that I'm not a famous novel writer who writes in her thick diary and confesses she's in love with her best friend. Totally dangerous move. But I'm a risk-taker.

I'm also a Math Hater who's probably the weirdest of the population, for being pushed to join a horrible Math Contest. Geez. I can't believe I agreed on this.

I also totally hate sports. I never dared to do tennis or soccer, or even volleyball play. I remembered how stubborn I am to throw the ball at my professor's face just because she insisted on serving it like I never had done that before and I don't wanna sweat about that thing. Yes, I'm a school wrecker when it comes to outdoor activities. I hate moving. I seldom slack off during PE. That's just how I wanted it to be. Some say I'm close to my PE professor for making me a good grade on my report card, 85. Well, it's not a good grade for me. If only that subject is a non-cardiovascular activity, then, I would be pleased to make my grade a bit higher! But, I'm only a simple student. I just comply with what I can do in PE and get on with my life.

I am not the best, not perfect, not pretty, not even half graceful, not lovely, and not special.

I am Clarrianne Angelica Sanchez. A senior student attending the primitive Saint Claire Academy, and the only daughter of Paulo and Marrianne Sanchez. Born on the 14th of September 1995. I'm aged 16 and who knows I may not age for the remaining chapters of this diary? I can pretend I don't age because you've seen only a diary. And to clear things out, I'm not a vampire. So, to those who are reading this, it's not 'The Vampire Diaries'. It's just me.

And why am I writing this down? It's because I had this thought that someday I might lose my memories. I want someone to sit beside me and read my diary aloud. Someday, that day would come. Who knows? No one will know when I will lose my memories. I'm hoping that one day when the memories will all disappear, I have already kept a record of my life somewhere. Somewhere I could have access easily as time goes by. My diary.

~~~

He whispered. "Stay, Clan..." He was getting to my nerves now. I pathetically raised my eyebrow at him, and suddenly he handed me my diary.

What the--? Where did he get my diary?!

"I just finished reading it but it bored me a lot." He grimaced. His nose a bit wrinkled as he had the thought. This strange man beside me started to speak casually. Is he someone I know in the past? He really talks as if he knew me all my life.

But looking back, the fact that he's holding my diary and had read it all, page by page, it all took the last droplet of hope I have in my heart. I can't take this anymore! It's all too degrading.

I yearned perhaps, an encouraging phrase from this unfamiliar guy but he turned me down and even returned the diary with a hint of disgust in his existence. It tripled my anxiety.

I just exasperatedly turned away, and walked off but failed to evade him who happened to intervene on my sudden escapade.

"I've told you to stay, haven't I?" He was threatening rather than reminding me. A sound of an eager voice blocked my concentration.

I brushed off his hand, gripping my arm, and eyed him ruefully. "I told you that I don't promise..." I also talked back.

He smirked. "You sounded so resentful, Clan. Haven't I told you to be careful with that anger you're growing inside your heart?"

I scoffed at his words. "It's not even your concern!"

"But it is!" he said calmly, weirder for a man I thought was very nerve-driven than me. His eyes shimmered in the shallow darkness we are in. The moonlight glistened to his irises and showed me a pair of amused eyes. "They're coming, and your uncontrollable resentment might make them track you down. This will only weaken you," he warned.

I shook my head in disbelief. What is he saying? I don't understand why I have to be trained in controlling my emotions. Do I really have to deal with psychiatrists this early of my age? I refuse to think that I have a mental illness. I refuse to, but I know this is not right to deny my state of mind. I am in my whirlpool angst.

"Please, Clan... I need a little more time. I need you to keep reading," he pleaded, then, he suddenly faded away like a bubble on the water.

There came the light that told me to open my eyes. It was gradually invading my eyes, until it hurts to peeking on it.

I gasped for air in a moment. I realized that it was just one of the nightmares again. The day might have been an exciting one, knowing for a fact that it's Saturday, and that only means a valuable time to go out and be bothered around the Restaurant. I had wanted this to extremely punish myself for trying to review Math. Because first of all, I didn't say anything about signing up. They just insisted that I join. And who knows? I might let them know my finality about it sometime around? I don't know yet.

Coming on early, the restaurant is quite populated today and the crews got busy buzzing out from different directions. I got into the door where it labeled, "Restricted Area. Authorized personnel only", and saw the busy kitchen crews. I hurriedly grabbed my apron from my locker and approached Dad with his unsurprised face, half-buzzed manning his crews. His clean beard and white streaked hair were all inside his hairnet. He shouts and sometimes smiles.

They were arguing about the number of stocks left inside the walk-in freezer and stock room. The crew in charge is suspected to have been disregarding the importance of FiFo. This was one of the many usual problems I believe he had handled himself, and it disappoints me thinking their men only neglected those simple procedures. The businessmen had little time to deny their crews' contract because they were too busy for interviews-- that I think was ridiculous to ignore.

Some essential things like these had been my thing since day one. I am making a good apprentice out of me to my precious mentors who were always there whenever I had the nerve to crash into their world, which I believed that I belonged. I love the culinary world.

I want to be a chef, like the old gentlemen maneuvering my instincts as a food lover. Of course, I'd love to make them proud. I want to make them see how I've improved. I can't wait to grow up. I can't wait to face the real corporate world.

When I sensed that I'm not needed, I decided to go to the counter and help the girls serve the customers' beverages while the kitchen cooks their ordered food on the menu. For a long while, I've entertained customers while they were queued, calling all the orders in advance.

"This is a fast food rush!" I hissed to myself. After I took the order of the old lady in a five-person deep position, I moved to the next which gave me a weird notion.

Suddenly, the whole room went into silence. Everyone is moving freely but in slow motion. I furrowed my eyebrows, almost looking very pondered. His eyes appeared to be familiar in a great sense but I failed to remember. When did I see him?

"Can I order now, Miss?" I was back to my senses when he spoke, waiting for me to take his order. He was the last person in the queue. Not waiting too long, he smiled casually. He was taller and had a very definitive pair of eyes marveling at his shiny bright blue iris. His newly cut wavy brown hair emphasized and humbled every angle on his angelic face.

That's odd, feeling I've memorized his every feature with just a second of scanning. I abruptly cleared the tension in my throat and greeted him with delight. "Good afternoon, Sir! May I take your order?"

He chuckled under his breath and eyed me in a smooth way. "I'd like to try your Adobong Manok? Is that oyster sauce?" he'd asked as he was looking at the picture at the menu board above the counter area.

"No, sir. It's our special soy sauce. We can only make Adobo with the oyster sauce if the customer wishes to," I answered professionally. "It's our specialty and also one of the Pinoy favorites."

"Hmmm..." He had nodded in agreement and thinking thoroughly as though the menu was like a human chess game. Touch move, if he realizes of choosing a wrong piece. I agree with that thought, too. I'm betting on it.

I was waiting for about a minute when he finally decided to answer. "I'll take it. One order of the Adobong Manok, please."

"Adobong Manok, coming up! It will take a few minutes, Sir, but I will call it in advance," I informed him, making fun of his accent in my mind. It was kind of cute encountering a foreign boy who looked very smart speaking my dialect in a funny way.

Americans speak a little light-tongued while Filipinos speak harder with the words, emphasizing the syllables and the stresses.

I handed him over the order slip and gave my prim smile. He, too, smiled at me locking his dazzling blue eyes on mine, like passing a secret message coming from his soul. And then in a sudden, I felt the bolts down to my spine penetrating under my nerves. My smile suddenly faded away and realized what was happening. It scared me so much. I hurriedly walked off and hid inside the kitchen again. I was frightened that I might have been zapped by a grounded wire because of it. Were there any malfunctions on the flooring? Are there any electric wires everywhere?

I shook my head. No. Nothing was there. I knew it. I know that it wasn't a normal phenomenon.

I was wondering why people catch their breaths even if there's no such energy exerted in a day?

This is madness. Something was happening. Suddenly, a set of pictures suddenly scrolling at an intense speed in my mind, like a memory recapping after the mounting of a memory chip. Heck, it's way more than a computer's usual scrolls.

I felt a jerk on my knees. I held on to one of the counters in the back room. I felt like I'm in another person's life.

I'm seeing too many memories. My breathing started to hitch. My eyebrows creased in confusion. I have seen myself in another person's life. She had the same facial features, even my expressions. She has long lashes and curly hair. She's dressed like royalty, a very important person. Her smile is like a charm potion to anyone who would be seeing it. They humble throw her smiles and compliments. Most where men of a great population started to express their feelings for her.

She's one of a kind. A good and competitive woman in her era. No one dared to go against her. She could be a lethal being sometimes. Her power is unbreakable. Even the most powerful among men tried to lure her into their lives, but she's too powerful to ever abide. She likes to do it her way most of the time.

She's the most powerful among the women in her place. She is highly regarded. She is magnificent. But, there's one thing that she's worried about in her life...

She's afraid of losing her power. But she failed. She really failed. She was defeated, framed up, and being exiled.

I can see how she was being tortured physically and mentally. I saw how she cried and laughed. I saw her whole life.

I saw my other life. I saw myself.