THUNDERFIST : Iron Rebellion

CHAPTER 13

Cassian

The faint sounds of a padlock getting unlocked and those heavy footsteps inside the cell I was dragged to, but that s**t didn’t make me nervous anymore. They thought I would cry and beg for mercy but they lost it when I bravely faced them.

Those hideous monsters, skinned as human but monsters. They were scary and terrifying but I am no longer afraid of them. I can deal with them, I will.

“Stop this bullshit, Richard! You are not sane right now. Stop counting such unrealistic stories. Can’t you see what you have done to yourself?” The man in the suit stared blankly at me, but his face did show concern.

I chuckled and replied with a hint of sarcasm, “why are you so obsessed with me, Smith? Are you looking for more than friendship? Or you want me?” I was staring at him and he sensed the tension as well.

He shook his head in disbelief and dragged a chair from the corner, and sat onto it while facing me, “obsession? Such a complicated word, just like you. I still remember the first time you came here, Cassian. I was hoping that time.. I thought I could change your life, even though I was aware of this addiction.. Because I have been through it.” He explained some words to me that meant nothing to me.

“Why does it have to do anything with me? If i die then let me die, what is wrong with it? I have no family, no parents, nobody to leave behind to cry over me. Why it makes your heart wrench?” I jabbed at him while tapping the concrete floor with my palm facing the ground.

“Death! Ending life! Is that really important then regrow and rebuild yourself. If you don’t have a family, then make one. Did anybody say you can’t make a family. Cassian, stop being a stubborn brat. I believe you but you disappointed me. The last time i checked you out, you were clean and now see yourself. Back again at the spot.. From where you started.” Smith looked with a disappointment hanging on his face.

I put my hand up and shake, trying to pretend I was distracting him.

“Your games and tricks no longer work on me, Cassian. You are not a fifteen years old boy. You are a man now, you have to take that s**t of yourself and. clean it” he gritted his teeth under pressure.

I looked up at him, “what if i don’t want to? What do you know about me? My struggles with my inner demons. I have been working since i was a nine years old boy… those monsters disguised as my foster parents made me do the things i never wanted to do to them…” I was frowning and pulling my hair with trembling hands.

“You killed them, Cassian! You killed them… because they planted the seed of hatred in you, but not everyone deserves your hate.” he was trying to help me but i am already wasted.

“Did I deserve the hate i recieved? Can you imagine being that hopeless person, who knows nothing about his existence. I am just a living dead. I have no goal, no aim, nothing good to do for this world. Why should i waste my opinion and thoughts on it…. This head of mine can stay quiet. I stay awake in my mind.. Dealing with these nightmares.. What do you know about them?” i was crying while taking my heart out.

He closed his eyes and put his hands on my head, “i won’t lie but yes, you are right. I can’t understand your pain and your struggle but I do understand what it feels like to fight your demons. I did it on my own and won. I challenged my fear and now, look where i am today!! That’s why I want you to fight with your demons, never give up, keep fighting until you succeed.” 

He looked with his warm brown eyes at me, “tomorrow, it will be your fourteenth day here. You will get discharged and leave. But this time, I want you to never return to this place.” Smith said with a depressing voice.

I chuckled and replied, “so you think i will die from drug overdose this time?” i said with sarcasm.

He rolled his eyes and glanced at me with disappointment. “It’s not up to me, it’s your choice, fight your demon and win or surrender under and die like a coward.” he got up from the chair and glared at me one more time before locking me up again.

He didn't move back to see me again, like the other times he used to do so.

“I am not going to run away, loser!!!” I shouted but why did I feel the pain so sharp.

Fourteen days felt like fourteen years. Usage of cocaine didn’t help me with the reoccurring dreams of that man. But day by day, I saw his face getting clear. Not his prominent facial details but I still can find him in the crowds.

Sometimes, I felt that in the nights, I saw him staring at me from the corners of the cell but that was all hallucinations. I shouldn’t force my brain to think about him but I am always stuck on thinking about him.

Is he a messenger or something, who is trying to tell me something? 

The cell manager arrived and unlocked my cell, letting me pass first. He marked me clean before letting me go and glanced at me with amusement.

“What?” i asked while growing.

“Nothing!! I just saw your data of over fourteen years. All clean!!” he said.

“So, what was so funny in it?” I demanded an answer.

“Well, i bet with my coworker on this that you will be back  in Rehab within a month because everyone knows you can’t get rid of this addiction.” he grinned while giving me back my files.

I took it casually and said nothing or I could have broken his jaw meanwhile. While i was talking to him, my eyes were looking for Smith.

“Hey, where is Smith and I found the staff is less in number today?” i asked him.

“OH! Smith? He actually passed away this morning, he was struggling from brain esophageal cancer. It was triggered by his cocaine addiction. But still, he was a gentleman. I will be visiting his family in the evening shift.” he informed me and i was taken aback by his words.

“Passed away?” i whispered to myself.. I still couldn’t believe he died.

All he ever was trying to save me because he was struggling with his own demons. How wrong I was? How pathetic am I for misbehaving with him? How much do I miss the hug he used to give when I left Rehab? And I miss how he looked at me one last time.

I lost a gem today. The gem I had to keep for myself. I can’t miss the concern in his eyes. Suddenly, the loneliness crept again and I was filled in the void I was running from.

“It happens when you lose someone beloved to you, after all family isn’t only blood related….”

That voice.. I remember that voice.. From my mind and in my dreams.

I turned to look at him and stared in his electric blue eyes..

Who is he?