Saved by a CEO

4

“Hey mom.” I said holding the tray with caution in my small hands.  I tried my best to not make the warm tea make a spill but with sweaty fingers I made a splash on mom’s skin.

“Oh no, I’m sorry mom.”  I said with a quick apologetic voice. I put the tray on her bedside table and quickly wiped the tea drops from her collarbone.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”  My eyes widened at her words.  She called me sweetheart.  I felt my heart flutter with butterflies so I tackled her in a tight hug.  She scooted over for me to climb in the bed next to her.  I remember how I smiled at the ceiling, as if I just won the jackpot.  When mom combed her fingers through my hair I got goosebumps of love all over my body.

“What do you like the most in the world.” She asked and I knew then that she was up to something. So excitement brewed in my stomach when I answered her.

“Dogs,” I loved dogs and I desperately wanted one of my own, “And tinkies.”

Mom chuckled, “Dogs and tinkies.  I can work with that.”

I smiled and put my head in her soft T-shirt the smell of cheap roses invading my nose.

“What are we going to do?” I smiled brightly and loved the streaks of sunlight coming in the window, lighting all the shadows in the room.

“Oh, I think I have a surprise for you,” She said and I remembered how mysterious she sounded, “but first we must get ready.”

I giggled when she started to tickle me on the side of my stomach, where we both knew I was the most ticklish.

“Mom, stop.” I yelled through laughing gasps.

“Okay okay, I’ll stop.” She took the cup of tea from her bedside table and put it to her mouth, with a mischievous smile.  “Go put on a dress. That white one with the red hearts. Today is red day.”  I nodded enthusiastically and ran to my room eagerly putting on the dress that laid strewn on my toy box.  I hoped that mom wasn’t going to be mad like she usually was because of my messy room, but she seemed in the best mood so I didn’t do anything.  I rushed to the bathroom afterwards, almost falling on the slippery tiles, and brushed my teeth.  I combed through my knotted hair , the way mom taught me with the brush facing upwards instead of sideways.  I sprits some lemony perfume on my wrist knowing mom hated it when I smelled.  Even when I just smelled of nothing.  She always wanted me to smell something nice.  When I was done, I rushed back to mom’s room to see her changed from her feather pajamas to a jean and a red tank top.  She looked at me through the mirror as she inserted some hoop earrings in her ear.

“Well don’t you look gorgeous.” She commented through red lips.

“Can I have red lips too?” I was eager to be just like my beautiful mom and when she cautiously applied the lipstick, I felt just like her.

“You ready?” She asked, eyeing us both in the mirror.

“Yes, yes ,yes!” I started to hop up and down, not able to wait for what she had planned.

We went to her car after she made sure every door leading to the inside or the house is locked.  When we entered mom played music on the car’s speakers loudest.  The first song that played was: Black eyed peas- Meet me halfway.  We danced in our seats, wildly and I’ve never felt so much happiness in my life.  When mom stopped at a gas station I remembered how devastated I felt when the music stopped. I hated gas stations. It always prolonged exciting moments. 

“I’ll be back in five.” She said stopping me from climbing out as well.  She walked to the gas station’s shop with small hops in her steps.  I waited impatiently as the morning sun burnt my sun on the passenger seat I was sitting in. After a few minutes of sitting alone in the car, the door opened revealing mom, holding a stack of tinkies in both her hands.  I swallowed as mom smirked at me, lightly throwing all the twinkies to my face.

“Tinkies!” I yelled excitedly, throwing it like confetti in the small space in the air.

Mom grabbed a tinkie from my hand, unwrapped it and took a big bite,  She started to moan in pleasure when she chewed the soft goodness.

“Wow, twinkies are good.” She said with her mouth full, confirming why a tinkie is my favourite thing in the world.

I stared at her, feeling satisfied that she loved twinkies as well.

“Eat!” She yelled already busy with her second one.

I unwrapped one and savoured every moment and every taste in my mouth.  When we both already had three mom climbs out of the car again.

“I’m going to get more.”

I nodded excitedly and this time waited patiently.  When mom came back and I hate two more and mom three we both were full and over tinkies.

“Okay, I think I had too much.”

“Me too.”  I said rubbing on my full bloated stomach.

“All the calories I have to work off.”  She complained and I remembered how I kept wondering what calories were.

I didn’t ask as I was too focused to not puke.

“Oh well, it was all worth it.” Mom said , starting the engine.  She played music loudly again but this time I wasn’t so enthusiastic about  it.  Mom started laughing uncontrollably.

“Are you okay?” She tried so hard to hide her laugh.

“I think I need the bathroom.” I said, feeling my stomach getting all worked up.  This time mom didn’t hide her laugh.  She speeds off towards the house and hands me the keys.

“Five minutes.”  I grabbed the keys and ran towards the front door, doing everything in hurried movements. When I was done I double checked that I locked everything correctly not wanting to let mom down.

“Did you wash your hands?” She asked and I nodded touching her with my wet hands.

“Good girl.” She smiled at me and drove off.  This time she played Metro station - Shake it.  W flab our arms jokingly around with mom’s one hand holding the steering wheel.

When mom stopped at a huge pet store I was flabbergasted.  All I could think about was if she really was going to buy me a dog. When she parked the car I didn’t waste a second and jumped out of the car and ran towards the front door of the pet shop.  There.  I saw three golden retrievers locked in a cage, all bundled up.

“Hello.”  I said in a smaller voice than my voice already was.  One of them lifted their head and looked at me with pure excitement.  I stuck my small finger through an opening, trying to touch his pretty fur.  Only one came up to me with a wagging tail.

“Hi there.”  I wished so much that I could pick him up.

“Who’ve you got here?” Mom appeared behind me looking at the dogs with big eyes,  

“Mom, I want him.”  I jumped up and down and pointed at the one wagging his tail.

“He is cute, isn’t he.” She smiled, and gently swiped her hand through my hair.

“Hi, how can I help you.” A friendly lady asked me to wear a Pet store cap.

“We want that one.”  I said eagerly.

“Okay, no problem.” Her voice was sweet as she rummaged keys out of her pocket and opened the cage.  She gently picked up the dog I wanted and put it in my hands.  His warm and soft fur immediately made me feel some kind of calmness in my soul.  Mom petted him and in her eyes it seemed as if she already loved him.

“Wow, you’re a pretty one.” She tapped him on his wet nose and I felt complete with him.  Like we could all be a happy family together.

“Can we take him mom?” I asked and when I looked at her every good emotion dropped in me.  I gave the dog to the lady and shifted all my focus on mom.

“Oh no.  Mom, mom.”  I tried to hold her with all of my little strength but she still fell hard to the ground.  Tears started to run down my cheek and I hated that this had to keep happening.  I fell to my knees and held my mom’s head in my hands.  She started shaking, her eyes rolling back.  I wiped my hands on my dress and like a tweezer I took hold of her tongue.

“Oh god.” The lady yelled and ran to the telephone.

“No.  Don’t call anyone,” I yelled.  Knowing every word mom instructed, “It’ll get better.”

“No, I’m calling the ambulance.” The lady insisted.

“No, just wait.” I said hoping that this won’t take long.

“Mom, it’s okay.” I tried to soothe her shaking body.  I made sure I had a tight grip on her tongue as white spit started to escape her mouth.  I knew the spit indicated that she was nearly done with her episode.

When mom was done with her episode she started crying and wailing and gasped for air.

“It’s okay.”  Even though I was only eight years old, I felt like the mother.  I felt like my mom’s mother as she layed in my arms her body clammy.

“Are you okay?” The lady asked cautiously and I was just thankful that there wasn’t anyone else in the shop. 

“Yes, just give us a few minutes.” I answered for my mom.

I could see how she tried to control herself and regain her strength.  When she sat forward without my support I stood and held my hand out to her.  I just want to go far away from this place.

She grabbed my hand almost pulling me down again with her.

“You okay, mom?” She just nods, swiping her strands of blonde hair over her head.

“Sorry, thank you.” Mom said to the lady and we rushed out the doors as fast as we can sp that mom can sit in the car and regain her strengh.

“I’m sorry.” She said barely audible as she took a pill from the cabile ad gulps it.  She rested her had backwards on the seat.  At that moment I wished I could drive.  Drive all the way home and curl up in a ball on my fluffy bed.  I hated to witness this almost two times a weak.  Each time mom would say it’ll get better but it didn’t.  It only got worse.

“It’ll get better.” Mom reassured and I just rolled my eyes looking at the few cars that passed.  Maybe this time she was right.  Maybe it'll get better. The thoughts always sat at the back of my mind but I knew it was too good to be true.

When mom eventually drove off, I kept giving her glances, being afraid that it might happen again.  It did happen twice right after each other this one time.  It was the baddest two she ever got.

“Mom.” I grabbed all the courage in me to ask her this question,  “Why do you always say it’ll get better but it never does.”

I could see mom gritting her teeth and feeling ashamed.  I hated asking her such a question because I knew she couldn’t handle it.  But all the doctor’s appointments and all the medication would make a person think that it WILL get better.  Mom stayed silent for a few moments as she swerved to the left in our street.  I could see her eyes tearing up and she tried to sniff it away.  When she stopped the car in front of our closed garage she spoke up.

“You can go, I just need some time.”  She said, like she always does. She always wanted to be alone after an incident.  She never wanted my company like the whole for the whole day afterwards.  But no, this time I was going to stand my ground.

“Mom, I asked you something.” I said.  I knew mom hated when I got irritated with her or talked back but I didn’t care.  She kept on lying to me so I needed answers.

Mom looked out the window to our neighbors house and sighed.  She took a moment probably thinking what to say. I knew she wanted me to go but I stayed put.

“Hope Tam, hope.” She said, not seeming hopeful.

But those words I kept dearly near my heart.  Cause somehow there will always be a small piece of hope even if it just pops up out of nowhere.