Strategically Careless

Chapter 5

Blake's POV

    "What are you doing here?" Colby asks as I run into the living room. I see him standing by the food with his arms crossed and looking angrily at Liam.

    "I am here to check on her," Liam says crossing his arms over his chest. 

    "She is fine. No thanks to you." Colby says angrily. 

    "I want to talk to her," Liam says.

    "I don't know if that is a good idea. You got her shot." Colby argues.

    "I didn't mean to. She wasn't supposed to know about any of my business." Liam says running his hand thru his hair looking tired. Neither of them seems to notice I'm in the room.

    "Hey, Liam." I wave walking closer to them getting both of their attention. I don't need them to start fighting over something this insignificant so it's best if I just intervene now.

    "How are you doing?" Liam asks me concerned.

    "I am fine. I wish people would stop asking me that." I eye Colby. "It's just a minor flesh wound." I shrug.

    "I am here to apologize and I want to talk," Liam says. Should I talk to him? I still don't know who shot me. It might be someone coming for Liam but it might be my fault.

    "I don't think that is a good idea," Colby says.

    "I'm fine. Colby, you can go if you want." I say. Colby looks at me a little worried.

    "Fine. You know where to find me if you need anything." Colby says before marching angrily out of the apartment.

    "Sorry about that. What's up?" I ask Liam. 

    Liam takes a step closer to me but doesn't look me in the eyes. "I am sorry. I never meant to lie to you about how I really made money. I never wanted to see you get hurt like that. I am just really sorry about the whole situation." he apologizes.

    "It's fine I am fine." I shrug. "And I wasn't as mad about the drugs as I was about not knowing. I just don't appreciate not knowing something that could cause me to get shot." I brush him off.

    "And I am sorry about that." Liam continues. "When we first started hanging out I didn't think it mattered what I did because we were just having fun. But the longer we were together the longer I wasn't telling you. Then it became this thing that I thought you would hate me for. But after you got shot I realized some things. The reason I never said anything was because I thought I would lose you. You mean so much to me now. You are one of my best friends and I love spending time with you. You are also my moral compass so knowing that I got you hurt made me come to a decision. I am going to get out of the drug business. No matter what." Liam says now meeting my eyes.

    "Liam... I need time to think." I say taking a step back. Every cell in my body is just screaming escape. Get away from the emotional situation.

    "I know I said I don't do relationships but I like you. You're not like other girls. If I got any other girl shot, they wouldn't even give me the time of day to apologize. I really like you. I have never felt this way about someone before. I know I don't express my feelings well..." Liam continues. s**t. 

    "I am going to stop you right there." I cut him off. "I don't want a relationship. My feelings have not changed about that." I say honestly. I don't do relationships and I was very honest about that from the beginning. 

    "I can't lose you. If you only want friends, I can keep my feelings in check." Liam stiffens up some.

    "I need time to think. Ok? I'll text you later." I say stepping another step backward.

    "ok," Liam nods sadly then turns and leaves too. f**k. What am I going to do?

    "I need to take another nap." I yawn and head to my room.

    God, why did I do that? Colby obviously likes me. But he is too nice of a guy. He would definitely want a relationship. I can't do that to him. I would ruin him. I like the setup I had with Liam. No feelings. Just fun. But because of him, I got hurt. I don't know if I want to see him again. I am so tired of getting hurt. I can't keep doing this. Ugh. why am I like this? 

     "Blake, I am home," Katie calls out as I hear the door open.

    "I'm in here," I yell out to her. Katie walks into the room and I spill my guts, "I did something stupid." I tell her. 

    Katie stops walking and looks at me concerned. "What now?" she asks.

    "I kissed Colby," I whine.

    "That's great!" she says excitedly. 

    "No, it's not," I complain.

    "Why not? He likes you a lot." Katies says obviously still happy. 

    "And that's why it's stupid. He is too good of a guy. I would ruin him. And I don't want to ruin him."  I explain.

    "You wouldn't ruin him," Katie says with a pointed look.

    "He is a nice guy." I sigh.    

    "And you want to be a normal girl with a normal life right?" Katie asks.

    "Yes. I would love to have a normal life." I nod. "But sooner or later he is going to ask about my past. I don't want him knowing about it. You saw how he reacted to a simple punch, much less getting shot." I explain.

    "To be fair, even Liam was asking. He wanted to do what he thought was right and call your family while you were in the hospital. The past is part of you. It's what makes you who you are and they both like you. I know it's not easy for you to talk about and they might not like hearing about it but it's a part of you." Katie explains calmly. 

    "I just want to be normal and leave everything in the past. I don't know how to but for the time being, I think I need a break from guys. I obviously don't make good choices. I just need friends right now." I sigh.

    "I think you're right. Take some time and think." Katie says calmly. "How about we do a girl's night tonight? No guys. Just us." Katie asks excitedly. 

    "That sounds perfect." I smile matching her enthusiasm. She thinks she is helping and I know she needs it as much as I do.

    "Let's watch the Notebook and do facemasks and drink wine. I feel like a good cry tonight. I'm going to go change." Katie says happily. 

    Katie and I get comfortable in our PJs with some blankets and turn the lights off in the apartment then watch the movie while drinking wine and eating ice cream. The Notebook is Katie's favorite movie and we see have seen him many times. It only takes about 30 minutes for Katie to start crying at some scenes and by the end of the movie, she is always full-on sobbing. But now she's drunk and I'm definitely feeling the wine mixed with pain killers as Katie sobs loudly next to me and the credits roll.

    "That is my favorite movie. It gets me every time." Katie sobs.

    "I know. You cry every time." I laugh.

    "They just love each other so much. They died together." She cries making it hard to understand her.

    "It is a very well-timed death. Almost like someone made it up." I tell her calmly. I've never been really into the cheesy chick flicks. I like the blood and guts and gore.

    "Blake" Katie cries.

    "Yes, Katie," I say taking the last sip of wine from my bottle.

    "I love Collin," she says making me stop and slowly turn to her. "I love him so much." she cries.

    "That's good," I say patting her arm in support. "What are you crying about then? Have you told him?" I ask.

    "No. What if he doesn't love me?" Katie sobs harder.

    "Why do you think he doesn't love you?" I ask

    "He hasn't said anything..... It's been a few months now and we are dating and we spend so much time together... I know he likes me because he tells me all the time...... But I don't know if he loves me... And I love him so much!.... And I miss him" she says between sobs.

    "Then text him. Invite him to come to hang out." I say.

    "But I don't want to ruin our girl's night... I really want to spend time with you" she still cries.

    "And I want to spend time with you. But I have seen my best friend cry over a problem we can easily solve. Invite him down and we can all hangout. And if I don't say it enough, I like you two together." I tell her in the calmest voice I can manage.

    "You really mean it?" Katie asks as she smiles at me thru her tears.

    "Text him!" I nearly yell as I laugh.

    "Yayy," Katie says happily as she pulls her phone out and texts him. She types out a text and shows me her phone.

    "Hey I misss you. Want t o come join moovi nihgt?'" "Does that look right? I'm a little drunk," she says.

    "Close enough. Send it." I tell her. She hits the button and a second later her phone dings saying she has a text. Katie smiles and shows me her phone. 

    "I thought you said it was a girls night. No boys allowed". - Collin

    I read it out loud and she pulls the phone back to her and starts texting. After a second she shows me her phone again. "It wuz but we r wiling to make a xception 4 u. P.S. we have ben drunking a lot of wine!"

    "Looks good." I laugh.

    "I could tell! Be down soon." - Collin

    "Prefect." -Katie

    "So he's coming," I say excited for my friend.

    "Yes!" Katie cheers.

    "Great! I'm going to take my face mask off."  I explain as I stumble getting up off the couch. I walk down the hall to the bathroom and yell back to Katie, "Are you going to tell him how you feel? Have y'all even slept together?" I ask

    "No you know I don't plan on doing that for a very long time. I am a good girl unlike you." Katie says sarcastically down the hall. "And no I'm not telling him how I feel. I haven't had enough liquid courage for that." Katie says sounding nervous.

    After I take the face mask off I head to the kitchen and open up another bottle of wine and pour two cups before walking back into the living room. "Drink up baby. Get it over with!" I say handing her a cup.

    "Oh, romantic... get it over with," Katie says dreamily and sarcastically taking the cup from my hand. She takes a sip then stands up and heads down the hall. 

    "Oh shut up. You know I don't do romantic." I yell after her. "I do drunken mistakes," I say taking a sip of my wine. 

    Katie walks back into the room, now facemask free, and picks up her drink and holding it up to me. "Let's try it your way," Katie says then guzzles her drink down. I follow suit and chug my wine. Oh god, that tasted bad. Never chug wine. Oh my god.

   KNOCK. KNOCK.

    There is a knock on the door and Katie's face lights up. "Come in it's open!" Katie calls out.

    "Hey!" Collin says opening the door. 

    "Hey, Collin." I wave.

    "Hey," Katie says batting her eyelashes at him.

    "Blake, have you been drinking too?" Collin asks me worried.

    "Maybe...." I draw out.

    "Is that a good idea when you're on pain killers?" he asks.

    "I don't know." I shrug. "Too late now though," I say standing up. "I am going to hunt for food," I tell them then stumble towards the kitchen.

    "Ohh breadsticks!" Katie calls out to me.

    "Yess!!!!" I answer. That sounds so good.

    "Cheese..." she calls out again.

    "Cheesy breadsticks!!" I answer and Katie claps happily. 

    "Oh my, gosh, can you work the oven, or do you need help?" Collin calls out to me.

    "I got it. I'm good" I answer. "Nothing can keep me from cheesy breadsticks: I say confidently. 

    "Ok. Yell if you need help." Collin says.

    "ok," I say pulling the box of frozen breadsticks while the oven heats up. 

    "I'm so excited for breadsticks. They are like the best food ever." I hear Katie say.

    "Hahaha. You're so drunk right now." Collin laughs. "Can I ask you something?"

    "Go for it." 

    "You're face is kind of puffy and your eyes are red. Have you been crying? Are you ok?" Collin asks.

    "Yes, I'm fine. We watched the Notebook and you know I cry every time." Katie answers.

    "Yes, you do hahaha." Collin laughs.

    "It's not my fault. They just love each other so much." Katie sounds like she could cry again.

    "Ohh I know. I know." Collin says. Probably comforting a crying Katie.

    "Speaking of love, I love you." Katie blurts out. Oh s**t. I can't help but eavesdrop. I got to know if he and he are fighting or not.

    "I love you too." Collin answers and I sigh in relief. Cool. Collin's chill I'm glad I don't have to hurt him for hurting my friend.

    "Really? You're not just saying that?" Katie sounds surprised. I pull out a cookie sheet for the breadsticks. 

    "I 100% mean it with all my heart. I have just been waiting for the right time to say it." Collin says.

    "And now is the right time?" Katie asks still sounding upset. I start trying to open the breadstick box but it's hard. It doesn't want to open. 

    "Well, you're drunk. And I'm positive you won't remember it in the morning." Collin says happily. 

    "But I want to remember it." Katie whines. Ok. f**k this stupid breadsticks box. I pull out my knife and start cutting into the box in frustration.

    "I will remind you, don't worry." Collin sighs. "Let's get you some water."

    The stupid box still doesn't want to open. I'm too drunk for this. "Guys... I can't open the box." I say in defeat.

    "I'll help," Collin calls out. A second later he walks into the kitchen and looks at me and I look up at him from the floor where I'm sitting. "Why are you sitting on the floor?" he asks with an amused smile. I use the knife in my hand to point to the box to start explaining but he talks before I get the chance. "Where did you get the knife from?" he says moving towards me. "Did you try to stab the box open when you couldn't get it yourself?" He asks taking the knife out of my hand. I pout some when he takes the knife and my food. "Blake, drink some water," Collin instructs putting the knife and the food on the counter. 

    "Blake, we talked about this, no knives while drunk!" Katie calls out and Collin hands me a glass of water. Boo, they're no fun.

The Next Morning...

    "Katie." I faintly hear a guy's voice. "Katie. Wake up, babe."

    "What?" I hear Katie's familiar voice near me.

    "Shhh. 5 more minutes." I groan

    "What time is it?" Katie asks.

    "7:30," the guy says. It's Collin I recognize it now.

    "Blake, come on get up we have to get ready for work. Or do you want me to call your boss and say you are taking another sick day?" Katie says tapping my leg.

    "No, I'm fine. I'll go in." I yawn as I sit up and open my eyes. I look around to see us still in the living room. I guess we fell asleep watching a movie last night. 

    "Get up then," Katie says. 

    "I am going." I stretch as I stand up. "I call dibs on the shower," I say then take off towards the bathroom.

    "Fine but be fast," Katie yells after me.

    I get out of my clothes and hop in the shower. "I am sorry. We got a little drunk last night." I hear Katie says. Oh, so this apartment has really thin walls. Good to know. 

    "I know..."

    "Oh no... did I do something embarrassing? Did I say something embarrassing?" Katie asks.

    "No, you didn't say anything embarrassing. You did say that you love me." Collin answers.

    "I did?"

    "And do you remember what I said to you?"

    "No?" 

    "I love you too," Collin says.

    "You do?"

    "Yes absolutely." Then silence. I'm willing to bet that they're kissing right now. 

    "Ok. You have to go because I have to get ready for work. And if you're here I won't get ready. And we will both be late for work" Katie says.    

    "Fine. See you later tonight?" 

    "Yeah," Katie says right as I turn the shower off and step out.

    "Shower's yours," I say walking out of the bathroom and into my room.

    "Ok. See you later." Katie says then walks into the bathroom. I change clothes quickly and throw my hair in a bun then walk out into the living room. Today we're going to the casual part of business casual.

    "Sorry about last night. Thank you for taking care of us though." I tell Collin.

    "Not a problem. I actually had a lot of fun.

    "I didn't mean to get that drunk. I didn't even think about the fact that I am on pain meds. And thanks for making our breadsticks." I say.

    "No problem. Thanks for sharing the breadsticks with me." he smiles. "I got to go... see you later." he waves then heads out the door. 

    "Katie I am heading out. I need to get to work early to make up for missing yesterday." I say.

    "Don't forget your meds!" Katie yells from the shower.

    "Thanks, mom," I say rolling my eyes sarcastically. I gather my phone, wallet, keys, and hunt for my laptop charger. Just as I'm about to leave Katie walks into the living room wrapped in a towel.    

    "Speaking of moms, my mom is going to call tonight and I am going to introduce her to Collin!" Katie says excitedly.

    "Oh, that's great!" 

    "You better be there too," Katie says seriously.

    "Me? Why me?" I ask faking shock.

    "You know you're my mother's favorite child," Katie says acting disappointed. "She is always in a better mood when she gets to talk to you."

    "I know. I just wanted to hear you say it," I say smugly while Katie scowls at me while crossing her arms. "I'll come back right after work," I tell her. 

    "Great!" Katie says uncrossing her arms. "And I invited Colby over for dinner. He is going to pick up pizza for all of us." Katie says with the same smugness I just had. Dang, it.

    "Oh great. I really don't want to see him." I say in exhaustion. I don't have the energy for this. 

    "Why not? Y'all are great friends." Katie says faking concern.

    I glare at her for a second while she smiles in victory. "Cause I kissed him last time I saw him. I want to live in denial of that fact for a while longer." I answer.

    "Well, you can live in denial until the end of the day. Then you have to face the music. At least you get pizza out of it." Katie shrugs.

    "Fine. Ok, I really have to go now though." I sigh then leave for work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Long, Boring Day of Work Later.....

    "Yeah, mom the new job is going great! I still love it!" Katie says into the phone.

    "That's great sweetie! Collin, what do you do?" Katie's mom says. She really is the nicest. I love Katie's family.

    "I am an accountant. I know it sounds boring." Collin answers.

    "Not boring. Stable. Dependable." Mama says.

    "Mom!" Katie says surprised.

    "Is Blake there?"  Katie's mom asks.

    "No, she said she would be back right after work." Katie answers.

    "How is she doing? I worry about her?" Mama asks over the phone.

    "I do too. But she is much better here." Katie says.

    "That's good"  Katie's mom says. Ok. that's enough of that. I open the door to my apartment and walk into the room. I love Katie's family and they treat me like family but the fact is that I'm not a part of their family so when she calls her mom I like to try to get them their privacy and let them talk without me interrupting. 

    "Sorry I am late. Work ran late." I say walking up to Katie and Collin sitting on the couch talking on speakerphone. 

    "Blake!" 

    "Hey, Mama! I've missed you!" 

    "Mama?" Collin says confused to Katie.

    "How's my favorite kid? How's life? How's work going?" Katie's mom asks me excitedly

    "Mom! You could at least pretend like she isn't your favorite." Katie fakes offense.

    "Favorite kid?" Collin says still confused. I see Colby open the door and bring in the pizza.

    "Life is good. Work is good! Everything is normal." I answer.

    "You call getting shot normal" Colby scoffs.

    "Colby! Shut up!" I yell.

    "Did I just hear someone say you got shot? When? By who?"  Mama asks worriedly.

    I glare at Colby as he walks the pizza's into the kitchen looking guilty. "A few days ago. I don't know who, someone just broke in. And barely. I barely got shot. It wasn't deep." I explain. Katie and Collin stand up and follow him into the kitchen.

    "Someone broke into your apartment?" Katie's mom asked even more worried.

    "No no not our apartment. I wasn't here. I was at a friend's apartment." I try to explain without giving her any details.

    "You know our deal still stands," Mama says.

    "Bandages and bail. I know I know." I nod.

    "That's right! If you ever need bandages or bail money you know you can call me. No questions asked." Mama says.

    "I know. I know." I nod.

    "Now who is Colby? He sounds nice," she asks.

    "You only think he sounds nice because he ratted me out." I point out

    "Exactly. I need to have someone that will tell me the truth about you." she counters.

    "I tell you the truth." I scoff.

    "Yeah, I am sure you would have told me six months from now that you were shot," Mama says.

    "That's still telling the truth." I point out.

    "Let's not get caught up in technicalities," Mama says

    Katie and Collin walking in both holding a plate with pizza on it and sit where they were before and start eating. "How's everything going with you?" I ask Mama changing the subject.

    "Good now that I get to talk to you again!" Mama says.

    "That's good! I'm going to hand you back to Katie and Collin for a minute. I need to change then grab a slice of pizza. It was good talking to you!" I say handing the phone back over to Katie.

    "Good talking to you too! Call me more often." Katie's mom says.

    "Yeah I will make sure she does," Katie answers for me, and I walk into my room and get out of these uncomfortable clothes.

    "Katie I love you, sweetie! And Collin it was nice to meet you. I'll talk to y'all later." Katie's mom says goodbye's to the rest of the group.

    "Bye, Mama! Love ya" Katie says hanging up the phone.

    "Your mom really likes Blake." Collin comments. I knew he'd be confused.

    "Yeah. She does. She tries to be extra nice to Blake because she knows Blake doesn't have a lot of it." Katie explains. Well, that's one way of phrasing it.

    "What do you mean?" Collin asks.    

    "Let's just say that Blake's family isn't as loving as mine," Katie says and I have to hold in a scoff. 

    "Ohh. That makes a lot of sense." Collin says.

    "Don't say anything about it. Blake doesn't like people to know." I barely hear Katie say so I guess she whispered it to him 

    "I promise the secret's safe with me." 

    "My mom really likes you too." Katie changes the subject completely. Good.

    "How do you know?" Collin asks.

    "If she didn't like you then she would still be on the phone with Blake. She would be asking Blake all about you. And Blake would be having to calm her down." Katie says.

    "So as long as I am on Blake's good side then I am on your mom's good side," Collin asks.

    "You got it, buddy." Katie laughs.

    "In that case, I better go make sure Blake doesn't need any help with anything." Collin jokes.

    "Oh come here," Katie says sarcastically. Then silence. They're probably kissing again. Katie's never shied away from PDA. And I really don't want to spend the night pretending to ignore her and Collin's constant PDA while I sit next to a guy I kissed yesterday. 

Fuck.