Strategically Careless

Chapter 13

Blake's POV

    "Hey hey hey baby girl. I'm right here. You're ok." I hear a soft familiar voice. "I got you. Colby, do you mind going to get me a piece of pizza? I just realized she hasn't eaten in two days."

    "Yeah, no problem." 

    "Hey baby girl, you got to wake up. You need to eat something. Colby is going to bring you pizza to eat."

    "Be careful she punches people who wake her up."

    "Trust me I know. It makes more sense now though. Hey, baby girl come on, it's me. You have to wake up and eat something." I hear Kid say into my ear as he rubs my back softly. 

    "Ugh, why did you wake me up? It better be a good reason." I groan

    "Pizza," Kid says. 

    "That's a good reason. I'm hungry." I say opening my eyes and looking around. I see we are still at the creek and I'm sitting in Kid's lap as Colby walks over to me with a slice of pizza.

    "Oh my gosh, I love you," I say to the pizza as I stand up grabbing it from Colby.

    "You still talk to your pizza. You're such a weirdo." Kid laughs as he stands up too.

    "What can I say, I just love it so much." I shrug then take a bite.

    "I have to ask. How did you get that cop to not arrest Kid?" Colby asks.

    "Just some mild blackmail." I shrug.

    "Really?" he asks.

    "No that's Katie's brother. Have you not met him yet?" Kid answers for me.

    "No, I didn't spend much time at her house. We basically stopped by for five minutes then left." Colby says.

    "Sorry about that, I was trying to avoid someone," I say looking at my feet. I don't know how Kid will react to mentioning my dad.

    "I'm fine. How come we don't have any alcohol here? Everyone except for Kid can drink legally." I say changing the topic.

    "When has that ever stopped me?" Kid laughs.

    "We should go get alcohol," I say.

    "All the stores are closed." Kid reminds me.

    "When has that ever stopped me?" I ask the same question he just asked me.    

    "Not tonight. We don't have to do that stuff anymore. Plus I have to be at work early tomorrow to barrel the hay unless it rains tonight." Kid says.

    "Fine. Can we tomorrow?" I ask

    "Yeah, I'll get stuff tomorrow so we can drink." Kid nods.

    "Good. Because tomorrow is my last night in town." I remind him.

    "I know. We can party a little before you leave. Celebrate your last night in town ever." Kid says smiling at me.

    "I'll come back one day, but it probably won't be for a while," I tell him. "You know you can come to visit me," I say excitedly.

    "Ok, I'll try to." Kid smiles.

    "Out of curiosity, you said you have to barrel hay at work tomorrow?" Colby chimes in.

    "Yeah unless it rains." Kid nods.

    "What does rain have to do with barreling hay?" Colby asks.

    "You can't barrel wet hay. It will catch fire. Everyone knows that." Kid answers and I nod along. 

    "What how?" Colby asks shocked like he's never heard that before.

    "I don't know the science. It just does." Kid shrugs.

    "I don't understand. Water stops fire." Colby says.

    "Unless it's on hay while it's being barreled." Kid nods as he eats his slice of pizza.

    "Why are more people not amazed by this?" Colby asks.

    "It's kind of common knowledge around here. I remember learning that in school."  I comment.

    "What kind of school did you go to?" Colby asks surprised.

    "Well, what did you learn in school?" Kid asks

    "Nothing about hay," Colby says shaking his head.

    "Well, now you know" I shrug.

    "Hey Colby, you got to come to tell Kevin and Devon what you do for a living," Miles yells from the other side of the clearing.

    "Well I guess I'm being summoned," Colby says raising his eyebrows looking at me smiling. I'm glad he seems to get along with my friends. Colby walks over to Luke, Devon, Kevin, and Mile's circle closer to the fire.

    "How much does he know?" I ask Kid.

    "All of it." Kid sighs.

    "Kid! Why?" I ask turning to him 

    "I may have gotten in a small argument with Miles when I got back. I also may have punched Miles." Kid says sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck avoiding making eye contact. 

    "Kid-" I sigh. "Does that mean everyone knows everything?" I ask putting my hand on my forehead.

    "Yes. I'm sorry." Kid sighs reaching to put a hand on my shoulder but I take a step back before he can touch me.

    "Just leave me alone ok?" I say forcefully feeling like I could cry.

    "Blake" Kid sighs reaching for me again. 

    "Don't f*****g touch me. Just leave me alone." I argue. I march away from him into the woods. I need to getaway. I start running thru the woods as I feel tears starting to fall.

    I don't know where I was going. I just know I don't want to be near them anymore. I love them and all but I've tried so hard for so long to keep that from them. I don't want them to look at me any different. I don't want to be pitied. I feel like someone just ripped my heart out of my chest. And now Colby knows too. I didn't want him to know any of it. What is he tells Katie now? I don't know how much I can trust him yet, he could tell everyone. I run until I can't run anymore. I lean against a tree trying to catch my breath. I need to take a break. I don't know where I am or what I'm doing. I just need the world to stop for like 5 minutes. I slump to the ground looking around in an attempt to get my barrings. I just don't have the will to fight anymore. I just want to disappear. Like if a black hole could open up right here and only take me with it. Like I never existed. It would be so much easier. 

    That's all I want right now.

    To just never exist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning...

      I wake up to the sun shining in my eyes thru the tree branches above me. I look around to see that I'm back at the creek. How did I end up here? When did I even fall asleep? Ugh... why did I even rent a hotel room if I was just going to sleep in the woods every day? Are they still going to charge me if I never showed up?

    "Oh hey, you're awake." I hear Colby's voice behind me. I sit up some and glare at him. I don't want to deal with him or the guys right now. 

    "How did I get back here?" I ask as Colby walks towards me.

    "When you didn't come back we tried to call you," Colby says taking a seat on the ground next to me. "Your phone is dead. We went out searching for you but you never answered. It was so dark that Devon literally tripped over you. We thought that would wake you up. But it didn't. Then we got worried that he kicked you in the head when he fell. We carried you back here and we each took turns watching you to make sure you didn't have a concussion. They all had to go to work a few hours ago." Colby says. Good, I'm still not ready to deal with them.

    "What time is it?" I ask looking around.

    "We better start heading to Katie's house or we will be late for the funeral." He says.

    "About what you heard yesterday-" I say hesitantly as I start to sit up.

    "I won't tell anyone. Not Katie, not Collin, or Santa or-"

    "You'd risk lying to Santa for me? That might put you on the naughty list. You'd get coal for Christmas." I laugh

    "Coal would be worth it if it meant that you trust me," Colby says smiling at me.

    "Thank you." I smile back then quickly turn to look at the dirt in front of me. "I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore after yesterday."

    "Yesterday was a lot but that would never make me want to stop talking to you. You're the most amazing person I know," he says softly making me blush involuntarily. I had that just his words can get a reaction out of me. 

    "Colby, you know that my past is complicated. And I'm doing my best but I don't want to lead you on. I like you but my life is too much and I have a lot to work on. You should be with someone better. I'm not the person for you." I let him down gently.

    "I'm not asking for anything of you right now. I realize that you have a complicated life and I'm not trying to complicate it more. I just want you to know that I am here to be your friend if you need one. And maybe one day in the future who knows but let's focus on today." Colby shrugs.

    "Let's go to Katie's house," I say changing the subject. "I don't want to be late," I explain as I stand up and stretch out.

    Colby and I walk in comfortable silence thru the forest to Katie's house which is nice. It gave me time to mentally prepare for the day. 

    I open the front door and walk in, I'm barely a step in when I'm swept up into a hug. "Blake it's great to see you! How have you been?" Aaron asks loudly in my ear as he spins me around. He knows I don't like hugs. He doesn't like hugs. He just likes to annoy me like any big brother does.

    "I'm good how are you?" I answer pushing his shoulder.

    "Good. Well as good as can be expected with you know." Aaron answers setting me back down on the ground and turning to look behind me. "And you must be Colby, Collin's roommate." 

    "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you. And sorry for your loss." Colby says shaking his hand.

    "Thanks. You have to tell me what sort of trouble has Blake been in up in New York." Aaron smiles mischievously.

    "I have to change clothes but I can tell you as I get dressed." Colby answers

    "I don't get in that much trouble," I argue

    "Please. Your middle name is trouble. You got in so much trouble the only thing my dad called you was trouble. I don't think he knew your real name hahaha." Aaron laughs/

    "You're so dramatic." I scoff as Colby and Aaron walk off. Whatever. People think girls are the dramatic ones. 

    I take a deep breath readying myself for what's about to happen. Ok, let's do this. I walk upstairs to Katie's room and slowly open her door to see her standing in front of the mirror with her back to me. "Hey, Katie. How ya doin?" I ask stepping into the room.

    Katie turns to face me with tears in her eyes. "It hit me a minute ago. I'm about to put on a dress to go to my dad's funeral. I'm never going to see him again. He will never walk me down the aisle at my wedding. Or meet any future kids I might have. This is it. After today there's nothing." she sobs hugging me.

    I instantly hug her back. "That's true. He won't be at any other those and it will suck." I tell her honestly. "But you know what else?" I say rubbing her back supportively like I've seen her mother do many times.     

    "What?" she pulls away from me some and looks confused.

    I pull her back to me some. "No more doctor's appointments. No more surgeries or chemo. No more seeing him get sicker and sicker. Yeah, you are going to miss him but that shows you that he is a good dad. And I know y'all believe in heaven so he is up in heaven looking down. Being your guardian angel. You know what he is doing right now?" I ask

    "No. What is he doing?" she sniffles and shakes her head.    

    "He is looking down and yelling,  'Get away from her she is trouble!'" I say mimicking her dad.

    "Hahhaah just like he used to when we were little." she laughs thru her tears.

    "Yeah just like that." I nod.

    "Thank you." Katie sniffles

    "For what? I didn't do anything." I shrug.

    "It's been a long time since I laughed. Or even remembered him like he was before he got sick." she smiles.

    "No problem. That's just how I remember him." I shrug. "Now let's get ready. You better wear waterproof mascara. There is no way you are not going to cry." I remind her.

    "Yeah yeah I know." Katie laughs rolling her eyes. She walks into the bathroom and changes her clothes. A few moments later she walks out of the bathroom. "We are best friends right?" I ask.

    "Yes?" she nods hesitantly.

    "So I can say something and you won't get mad?" I clarify.

    "Yeah."

    "You look like a pilgrim." I laugh.

    "It's a cute dress. I bought it here in town." Katie stomps her foot.

    "Yeah, it's cute if you lived in 1600s Plymouth Rock."

    "Leave it to you to insult me on the way to my dad's funeral." Katie rolls her eyes sarcastically and laughs.

    "Would we really be us if we weren't insulting each other?" I point out grabbing my dress and walking into the bathroom.

    I take a shower and freshen up then put on the dress I'm wearing and walk back out into the room. "I really want to insult your outfit... but it's cute." Katie pouts.

    "I know. I know fashion." I say throwing some hair over my shoulder in victory.

    "No, you don't! You just happen to pick out girl clothes instead of that gray jacket." Katie denies shaking her head vigorously and laughing

    "You're just jealous." I laugh. I want to give her a few more moments of happiness today. Soon our laughter dies down and we have to face the music. "You ready?" I ask softly. 

    Katie takes a deep breath and nods. "Let's go." 

    "Come on y'all. We are going to be late." Katie's Mom yells as we walk out of her room. 

    "Of course we are waiting on the girls," Aaron says loudly as we walk down the stairs.

    "I heard that! We're ready." Katie yells at her brother.

    "Then where are you?" he yells back. 

    "Right here. Pull your panties out your ass." Katie says as she appears at the landing at the top of the stairs.

    "Langues!" Mama yells while Derek and Aaron mock her. "Good heavens what am I going to do with y'all," she says shaking her head as we all laugh. 

    "I didn't mock you, Mama," I say walking down the stairs.

    "That's why you're my favorite, Blake," Mama says hugging me as I walk down the last step.

    "Way to not show favoritism Mom," Aaron says sarcastically as we all walk out the door. 

    It was a beautiful service. Everyone told a lot of stories about Katie's Dad. It was fun but they were stories we would have all rather have had him here to tell. It was nice to see Katie's family though. They really have always treated me like family. Like I was one of them and not a burden. He was the closest thing I had to a real dad. I'm going to miss him.

    Now we're all back at Katie's house and everyone is gathered in the kitchen telling stories and offering more condolences bringing food. It's a lot. I miss Katie's family and it's great to see them all but it's a lot. I needed to come up for air. It's getting late and I'm painfully aware of what time it is. So I'm standing in the living room looking out the window. 

    "Whatcha doing?" I hear Derek walking in from the kitchen.

    "Nothing." I shrug.

    "Are you watching for him?" Derek asks now standing next to me with his hands in his pockets. 

    "No," I say shaking my head.

    "Yes, you are. Look at me." Derek says. 

    "What?" I ask crossing my arms and turning to look at him. 

    "He hasn't been released from the hospital yet," Derek says softly with a pointed look.

    "Why not? When I was shot I got out the next day." I ask    

    "You were shot!" Derek nearly yells.

    "Yes months ago move past that," I say rolling my eyes. "Why hasn't he been released yet?" 

    "There were drugs in his system so even when he will be released. My boss wants to have a long talk with him." Derek nods some.

    "Did you have anything to do with that?" I ask skeptically.

    "I wish. But no he brought this on himself." Derek scoffs.

    "Derek about last night-" I sigh.

    "Your secret's safe with me." Derek nods. "And if it's worth anything I'm really sorry that happened to you. And I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could tell us." he smiles sadly. 

    "It's fine. Can we just act like last night never happened? I didn't see you and you didn't find out anything new about me. Deal?" I ask

    "Deal. Last night never happened." Derek nods.

    "Thanks" I smile.

    "Do you have someone you can talk to about this? Like a therapist?" Derek asks always being the protective big brother.

    "I don't know what you're talking about." I deny turning back to face the window.

    "You're hopeless." Derek sighs shaking his head then walking back to the kitchen.

    I need a drink! Like blackout and forget the last week. Why did I swear off guys? I need a distraction. No, Blake stop that, I need to stop doing that. I need to figure out my feelings instead of just using guys as distractions. Gahhhh I sound like Katie. Talking about feeling and s**t. What have I turned into?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day...

    Last night, Kid delivered. He bought a bunch of alcohol and I invited Katie and Collin and Aaron too. I would have invited Derek but he was working. Plus he tried to arrest Kid like 24 hours before. We all drank too much and danced and had a ton of fun. It was what we all needed. It was a nice reminder that we are all young even though we were facing very adult problems. It was one of the best nights of my life. We all ended up sleeping around the fire. That was the first time I've ever seen Katie cut loose like that, it was good. I'm going to miss my guys but we all know that one day we will cross paths again.

    Kid was nice enough to give us a ride to the airport again. It was nice to get just a little bit of extra time with him. Nobody gets me quite like he does. 

    "Thanks for giving us a ride to the airport again," I say as Kid and Colby unload all of our luggage from the bed of the truck.

    "No problem. It gives me a little while longer with you." Kid says as he hops off the tailgate landing in front of me with a smile.

    "It was nice to meet you and the rest of the guys. I actually had fun... for the most part." Colby says to Kid but glancing at me.

    "Same here. Just remember what we talked about." Kid says shaking his hand.

    "Yeah, I will." Colby nods then turn to walk away.

    "See ya man." Kid waves.

    "What?" I ask turning to Kid and crossing my arms glaring at him.

    "What?" Kid shrugs.

    "What was that?" I ask

    "Nothing." Kid shrugs.

    "I thought we don't keep secrets from each other," I say.

    That's what I thought too." Kids say crossing his arms and eyeing me.

    "Hey!" I argue.

    "I'm kidding. I just told him to keep an eye on you and have your back. I'm not there with you so I need to know your safe. You've already been shot. So now next time that happens someone will call me because you certainly didn't." Kid says uncrossing his arms.

    "I'm sorry. For all of it. I really am. I should have told you everything." I admit,

    "No, I'm glad you didn't. I think I would have murdered him. At least this way I'm not in prison and you got out safe." Kid says hugging me tightly.

    "Thank you," I mumble into his chest.

    "Love you, baby girl. Call me if you need anything. I'm just a short plane ride away." he says.

    "Love you, Kid. Come visit. Stay safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do." I say as we separate.

    "That's not stopping me from much." Kid laughs

    "I hate you," I say sarcastically rolling my eyes.

    "Hate you too." He smirks.

    After a long flight seeming like an eternity sitting next to a hungover Collin and a still semi-drunk Katie we finally land and later make it back to the apartment. "Ugh. Finally home." Katie groans throwing her luggage to the side and flopping on the couch. Yep, we're home.