Strategically Careless

Chapter 14

Blake's POV

After a long flight seeming like an eternity sitting next to a hungover Collin and a still semi-drunk Katie we finally land and later make it back to the apartment. Ugh. Finally home." Katie groans throwing her luggage to the side and flopping on the couch. ep, we're home. It feels like a lifetime since I've been here," she says, getting comfortable on the couch.

"I bet. The last five days have felt like forever for me too." I agree. "You haven't even been here in months."

"At least you got to see Kid and the guys again," Katie says, picking her feet up, and I sit down where her feet were. Then she puts her feet back on my lap.

"Yeah, I don't know if that was good or not, though." I sigh

"Kid did shoot your Dad." Katie agrees. "Did he get in trouble for that at all?"

"No, Dad decided not to press charges," I explain, leaving out some details.

"Why did you even go into that house? When I asked for help, I meant generally get him to leave. I didn't mean for you to go with him anywhere." Katie explains.

"I had some things I needed to say to him." I shrug.

"Well, I hope that somehow that was good for you," she says with a sad smile.

"I'm going to go lay down. I think I'm still hungover." I say, changing the subject.

"That's fine. I think I'm still drunk," Katie says, running her hand down her face.

"You should go lay down too," I say, patting her leg to make her get up.

"You're right." she sighs, standing up, then shuffles down the hall to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knock Knock.

Ok, I can do this, I can do this. No big deal. He likes me; I already know that. He already likes me.

He finally opens the door, and his eyes go wide for a second before he recovers and acts cool "Hey, what's up?" he smiles, leaning against the door frame. I immediately notice that he is only wearing shorts.

Ok, it's now or never. "Let's do this. If your offer is still on the table, let's do this. I like you, but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. I have a lot I need to work on about myself. I'm trying my best I know that was a lot all at once, but... What do you say?" I ramble.

Liam smiles ear to ear. "Of course, I still like you. What made you change your mind?" he smiles.

"It doesn't matter," I answer. He doesn't need to know everything that just happened.

"Where did you go, babe?" a girl says from behind Liam. I look past him to see a girl wearing only some underwear and a bra coming from the direction of his bedroom.

I look back at Liam to see him looking at me with wide, worried eyes. "I can explain," he says, putting his hands up in surrender. "We never said we were exclusive, and we weren't together. You rejected me."

"Who is this pretty lady?" the girl says, primping her hair.

Fuck it.

I went into Liam's apartment and up to the other girl. She smirks at me. Why the f**k not? This could be fun. I grab her face and kiss her, and she leans more into me. "Let's do this." I smile at her. She blushes and nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to Liam's room.

"Wait for me!" Liam calls out behind us.

"Oh, baby... You're such a good kisser." the girl moans as I kiss down her neck as she pants for air. "f**k me, right now," she begs as Liam walks into the room.

I don't know why I am doing this. I guess I just needed to forget the last few days. I'm hurting so much I need it to stop, even for a moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a while, I left Liam's place, leaving Liam and Olive there; that's her name. It took a while before we introduced ourselves, but we were busy.

Oh, I'm starving after that 'workout' Oh, here is a cute cafe. I'm going to stop there. When was the last time I ate? Was it two days ago at... No, I'm not even going to think about that day again. I don't get how Kid and Miles could go just telling secrets like that. If it was so easy for them to tell that secret, can I really trust them? Can I even trust my judgment about who I can trust? Why am I thinking about this? I need to figure out what to eat.

Oh, cupcakes, I should be thinking about what flavor cupcakes to buy. Shut up, brain. Stop overthinking things. I hope Katie is still napping. I don't want to share my cupcake. The cashier is staring at me. How long have I been standing here? Have they said anything to me? Should I pretend to be hard of hearing? Just order your food, you i***t.

"Blake, are you going to order?"

What the f**k!? I turn around to see Colby standing in line behind me. What the heck? How did he sneak up on me? I am overthinking things. Anyone could have just done attacked. Come on, Blake, get your head in the game.

"Gosh, you scared me. Don't sneak up on me like that." I warn him.

"I didn't sneak up on you. I talked to you for like 30 seconds before I realized you weren't even listening. You were pretty lost in thought." Colby laughs.

"Sorry, You can go ahead and order if you want," I say, stepping to the side a bit.

"Ok," Colby shrugs as I stare at the menu. "And whatever she is having," he says, turning to face me.

"What? No, you don't have to." I deny.

"You're the most indecisive person I've ever met. I've given you a time limit to decide." Colby teases me.

"Fine, a cupcake. No two cupcakes Thanks." I order.

I pick out a table in the corner and sit while Colby gets our things. "Here's your two cupcakes," he says, setting them in front of me.

"Thanks for buying my food. I got one of them for you." I say, pushing one towards him.

"You made me buy you two cupcakes so you could give one to me?" Colby smiles.

"Well, I wasn't going to share my cupcake." I shrug.

"Figures" Colby rolls his eyes, then laughs. "What's on your mind?" Colby asks much more seriously.

"Nothing," I deny.

"Come on; something is obviously on your mind. You're normally not this quiet." Colby says.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired; I did sleep in the woods for like four straight days." I brush him off.

"So, take a nap." Colby shrugs.

"That's what I'm supposed to be doing right now." I shrug.

"So why are you here? We don't exactly live near here. There are other similar cafes closer to our building." Colby says, looking around.

"I don't know. What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Work. I had a few meetings near here, and this is my break." Colby explains.

"Meetings?" I question, Oh s**t, "Oh my gosh. You had a song come out. I totally forgot. How is it doing?" I ask, getting excited for him. I'm such a lousy friend.

"Pretty good I guess it's on the radio, Which is weird. It came on in my uber earlier. The driver liked it, which was cool." Colby nods.

"That's so exciting. I'm so sorry I didn't ask about it earlier. I was distracted with -" I explain, just gesturing generally.

"Everything I know. How are you doing?" Colby asks gently.

"Fine." I shrug, taking a bite of the cupcake.

"I know Katie's dad was kind of like your dad, so I know it couldn't have been easy to lose him," Colby says with a sad smile.

"He was a good guy. I feel bad for Katie's family. I remember how hard it was on them the last time he got sick. I was at least here and could somewhat live in denial." I explain.

"That's true, I guess." Colby shrugs.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asks seriously.

"What about? Because if it's what I think it's about, then no, We are never talking about that. If you ever bring it up, I will deny it." I threaten.

"No, it's not about that." Colby denies.

"Because Katie can never know," I explain.

"She doesn't know?" Colby asks.

"No, until this week, the only person that knew was Miles and me. If Katie finds out, she will not want to be friends anymore." I try to say.

"Understood. I wasn't going to say anything anyway." Colby explains.

"Good."

"I want to talk about my song." Colby breathes deeply. "Do you remember a while back when I came to hang out at your apartment because I was having trouble writing songs?" he asks.

"Yeah, You were trying to write a new song because you didn't want to use one you already wrote. It was too personal." I nod.

"Do you remember what you told me?" he asks.

"Ummm.... something like, try your best and no regrets." I shrug.

"You said that I should chase my dream with everything I had." Colby nods.

"Yeah?"

"So I did. I used the song I had already written that was personal," he says.

"Ok, that's good, I guess. I'm sure it's a good song." I nod.

"It's about you." He blurts out.

"Wait, what?" I glare at him. "Why?... How?... What?" I say as my brain goes 100 miles an hour, and my mouth can't keep up.

"You inspired me to write it. You know that I like you, and I know that you need time and space, which I understand. We are friends, and I don't want to jeopardize that friendship because of this. I don't even know if you have heard the song, but once you hear it, I'm sure you would have figured it out." he says.

"Colby-" I try to stop him.

"I know you have things you need to work on, but when we kissed the other day, you can't say you didn't feel anything." He says, looking at me.

"I can't do this right now." I say, standing up, "Thanks for the cupcake." I say, grabbing my things and then leaving. Why would he do that? Why didn't he ask me?

Once I get home, I crawl into bed and hide under the covers. I'm never leaving this bed again; I just want to die lying right here.

"Blake," Katie calls for me.

"Sweet Jesus, I swear!" I grumble.

"Are you awake?" she asks, knocking on the door.

I'm just going to ignore her. My life is too complicated. Too many people know too much, and now there is a song about me out there on the radio for everyone to hear.

I should move. I'll move out west to Oklahoma or somewhere else that nobody visits, change my name to something like Vanessa, marry some guy named Bob, and then have 2.4 kids. I'd get some job where I can blend into the background, and nobody from this life will ever be able to find me. I'll fake my death and burn off my fingerprints. It will be an entirely new start with no sign of this life. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm going to do it one day, But not today. Today I nap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colby's POV

"I got your food." Collin walks into Blake's apartment, holding up the food for Katie to see.

"Thanks," she says. "Ok, I'm going to wait to wake up, Blake."

"Wake up?" Collin asks.

"What can I say, the girl can sleep. Hard. Plus, she slept in the woods all week. That couldn't have been comfortable."

"How did she do that? We spent one night there, and I'm sore." Collin says while stretching.

"I guess it's kind of like home for her." Katie shrugs.

"I'll go get Blake." I volunteer.

"Are you sure? Remember she punches." Katie warns me.

"Yeah, I remember." I nod, walking down the hall to Blake's room.

I slowly walk into Blake's room and see her curled up, hugging a pillow with her mouth hanging slightly open. "Hstsp..." she mumbles.

She looks so innocent when she is asleep. "Plea... nooo..." Blake talks in her sleep, sounding scared.

I run over to her and shake her some. "Hey Blake, wake up. You're having a bad dream."

"Stooop.... pleaseee... Sorry..." she cries in her sleep.

"Crap, what did Kid do?" I huff in annoyance.

I pick Blake up, holding her across my lap. "Hey, baby girl, that sounds weird." I cringe. "Ugh... hey baby girl, it's me. You're having a bad dream; I need you to wake up now. Come on, wake up; it's me." I say, rocking her slightly.

Blake slowly starts to wake up and rubs her eyes. "Hmppp what... What are you doing here?" Blake asks, looking at me with her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"I came to wake you up to tell you the food is here," I explain.

"I don't care about that. I'm too tired." she yawns. I pick her back up and set her on the bed instead of my lap.

"Ok, well, good night then."

Blake sits up and looks at me for a moment without saying anything, but she looks worried. "Wait, don't go. This is going to sound weird, but recently I've been having these dreams. Not really dreams, more like nightmares... or memories. But they aren't as bad when someone is here. Do you mind staying for a minute just until I fall asleep?" she asks.

"Of course, I'll stay," I say, sitting back down in the bed next to Blake. Blake lays back down slowly, and I lay down next to her Blake rolls on her side to face me but keeps the space between us.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

"I have to be honest. I've heard you having bad dreams a couple of times now. What are they about? Like what happens in them?" I ask.

"Different things." she shrugs.

"You said they were memories earlier. Are they about... you know?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes they are about other things," she says.

"I'm sorry. Is it always like this?"

"When I was younger, yes, because I was still living it every day. But when I moved away, they slowly stopped. Being there, though, kind of brings me back," she explains.

"That sucks."

"Yeah, I wish I could just forget it all," she says to herself.

"Why don't you?" I ask.

"I don't know if you know or not, but I have a really good memory. Like crazy good. Which is another thing that sucks because when I have these dreams, I remember every aspect of it, I remember what the air smelled like, the weather, any noises I heard. Everything." she says.

"I know, but that's not what I mean," I say.

"What do you mean then?" she asks, looking at me.

"Whenever I have trouble sleeping, I like to think about things that I like. You like pizza, right?" I ask, looking at her.

"Yes." she nods.

"Thing about pizza The smell of pizza, the nice warm cheese, how it tastes. Think of the first time you had pizza and that feeling of finding your new favorite food." I explain. Blake smiles at me a little bit then snuggles up more and closes her eyes.

This is great.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Next Day...

Katie's POV

Knock Knock Knock.

I get off the couch and walk quietly to the door. I open the front door to reveal my amazing, cute boyfriend holding food. "Hey Katie, I brought lunch," he smiles at me. He's so sweet.

"You're so sweet." I coo, then step aside to let him in the door. I take some of the bags out of Collin's hands to help him, and then we walk over to the couch. "Thanks for getting my food," I say, sitting on the couch next to him.

Collin looks around for a second, then focuses back on me. "Has she still not gotten out of bed?" he whispers.

"No, She hasn't eaten or even gone to the bathroom." I sigh.

"What do we do now? How do we get her to come out here?" Collin asks.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. She is my best friend, but she keeps so many secrets, and I just want to help her. If she would tell me what was bothering her, I'd do everything I could to help her.

"Do you know why she is acting like this? Did something happen?" he asks.

I take a deep breath, "Going home is hard for her. She just needs time." I try to explain.

"Good news is it's Saturday, so she has all weekend before she has to go to work." Collin thinks positively.

"That's true. I'm going to go see if I can get her to come eat." I say, standing up.

I quietly open her bedroom door and walk inside. "Hey, we brought you some food." I say, waking her up calmly. I don't want her to lash out at me. She opens her eyes and glares at me, and pulls the covers back over her head with a huff. "Can you come eat something? You have to be hungry. You didn't eat dinner yesterday." I say.

"Leave me alone," she says under the covers.

"Fine, I tried being nice." I shrug. I jump up onto her best, so I am standing over her. I jump on her bed. "Wakey wakey Get up Three more seconds, and I'll start singing," I warn her as I continue to jump.

Blake moves the covers so she can glare at me again. "Don't-"

I take a deep breath and belt at the first thing that comes to mind "IF IT HADN'T OF BEEN FOR COTTEN EYEE JOE, I'D BEEN MARRIED LONG TIME AGO. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHERE DID YOU GO, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, COTTON EYE JOE!"

"Cotton eye joe, Really?" she questions.

"I'll keep singing," I warn.

"I'm getting up. Just shut up," she says, kicking at me gently.

"I knew that would work, " I say smugly as I get off her bed.

"I really hate you sometimes." Blake huffs, rubbing her eyes. "Where the food?" she asks as she stands up. Blake throws on a sweatshirt over her pj's then walks out of the living room with me.

"Well, good afternoon Sleeping Beauty," Collin smirks, and Blake just rolls her eyes.

"Food, now." Blake huffs, digging thru one bag of food.

"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Collin comments.

"I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I just harrassed to get out of bed." she glares at me.

"I heard you singing." Collin nods with a smile.

"It was horrifying," Blake mumbles as she eats a french fry.

"It worked, though." I shrug.

"I need better friends." Blake huffs as I sit down on the couch next to Collin again.

"Speaking of friends, Colby is having the band over tonight. They are celebrating their song. Y'all are welcome to come It won't be anything crazy. Just us hanging out." Collin tells us.

Oh goodness, "I completely forgot about that. They already released the song, right?" I ask excitedly.

"Yeah," Collin nods.

"I don't think I've heard it yet. Is it good? How's it doing?" I ask.

"I think it's pretty good." Collin nods.

"What's it about?" I ask

Collin glances at Blake, then looks back to me. "Me." Blake huffs as she sits down on the chair, continuing to eat.

Woah! "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask Blake That has to be the thing bothering her.

"I just found out. He told me yesterday." she shrugs. She puts her food down and stands up. "I'm going to Liam's," she announces, then leaves suddenly.

"That's not good," I say as she closes the door.

"I thought she likes him," Collin says, confused.

"She doesn't express emotion very well. In fact, doctors have called her emotionally detached. And normally, when someone is the slightest bit emotional with her, she gets very uncomfortable. She has her moments where she can be genuine, like before my dad's funeral. But most of the time, it's like mental overload for her. I guess that's why she refused to get out of bed. She was still mentally processing." I explain.

"So what does that mean? You're my girlfriend, and I realize she is your best friend. But he is my best friend; if it comes down to it I choose him over her. I don't want whatever they are going through to come between us." Collin says, grabbing my hand and looking deeply into my eyes.

I squeeze his hand a little bit in support. "And I would choose her over him. Let's make a deal. Whatever is going on between them doesn't affect us. We can be there for our friends, but it doesn't come between us." I nearly plead.

Collin smiles and nods. "Yeah, that's a good deal. Whatever they have going on is complicated, and I don't want us caught up in it."

"Ok, I'm glad we talked about this, so we are on the same page. I want us to be rock solid." I say, then lean over and kiss his cheek.

~~~~~~~~

Blake's POV

 God, I can't believe I'm here. This asshole better be home cause I need a distraction, and Liam provides the best destruction. s*x. I knock on his door and wait impatiently. I don't want to think about that asshole; I just want to forget about it. Ugh.

Liam opens his door and looks surprised. "Hey, I'm glad you came over. I didn't know how you would react after yesterday," he says.

"What to have some fun?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Yes, but we need to talk first," Liam says.

"About?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Yesterday, More specifically, that you got here, and I was having s*x with someone else-"

"Why talk about it when we could recreate it?" I ask and pull Olive's arm so Liam can see her now, too. She smiles and waves at him as his eyes go wide in disbelief.

Olive walks inside past Liam and heads to the bedroom. Liam and I follow her. Just before we get to the hallway leading to his bedroom, he stops walking and turns to look at me, looking very confused. "So your not mad that I had another girl over?" he asks.

"No. We have never been exclusive; we were never even dating." I shrug.

"Ok, I have to admit, when you came over yesterday and saw Olive, that was not the reaction I was expecting," Liam says.

"I just wanted to have some fun." I shrug.

"If that's your idea of fun, I'm down to have fun anytime." Liam flirts.

"I thought you would say that." I wink. Then he pulls me down the hall to his bedroom, causing me to laugh more.

Being with Liam was so easy. We didn't talk about feelings and emotions. It was just simple fun. He didn't want to know about my past, and I didn't want to know about his We just needed each other to dull the pain sometimes. It's perfect and uncomplicated.

~~~~~~~

Katie's POV

Collin and I walk into Collin's apartment to see Colby and his bandmates, Wyatt and Henry, standing in the living room drinking beers.

"Hey, guys. Congrats on the song!" I say.

"Thanks!" Henry smiles.

"Got any beer to spare?" Collin asks.

"Kitchen." Wyatt motions to the kitchen.

"Thanks," Collin says, then heads off towards the kitchen.

"Hey is Blake coming too?" Henry asks.

"I don't know. I've barely seen her all day." I answer honestly.

"Ok, I had fun with her last time. And we are trying to have a good time. And we all kind of owe her because the song was about her." Henry says, motioning to the band.

"For a band trying to have fun, y'all chose kind of a low-key way to celebrate No offense." I try to change the subject.

"None of us are big into the party scene. We just wanted to hang out and have fun." Henry explains.

"That's understandable I don't think I could handle another party this week," I admit.

"Did you go out last night?" Henry asks.

"No, not last night. The night before, Blake's friends had a bonfire in the woods, and we drank too much. Ugh, there was so much tequila." I cringe at the thought of tequila.

"Where did you have a bonfire in the city? I want to go to one." Henry asks.

"Oh no, we weren't here. We were back home." I explain.

"Oh, That makes sense." Henry nods.

"I'm going to text Blake and try to convince her to come. But we're here to celebrate y'all; what do all y'all want to do?" I ask, forcing a smile to hide my worry for Blake.

"I don't know, but I'm going to go grab another beer," Henry says, then walks away as I pull out my phone.

"Hey Blake, I don't know what's going on between you and Colby, but the band is celebrating the song at Colby and Collin's, and they want you to be here. Are you going to come?"

"I'm warning you, I'm in a mood. I will NOT be on my best behavior. Still want me to come?" Blake answers immediately, obviously mad.

"Come on. No matter what, Colby is your friend. And the band just wants to thank you since you did inspire the song Come on, do it for me." I answer.

"Fine, I'll come, but like I said, I'm in a mood to start something," she warns.

"What does she mean by that?" I look to see Collin standing next to me and reading Blake's text over my shoulder.

"I don't know Last time she said that, she was almost arrested. She should have been arrested. I don't know why she wasn't. I know she is going to do something to lash out, though. I just hope it's something that she can come back from." I sigh.

"Great. This should be fun." Collin sighs.

"This night is supposed to be about them. I have an idea. Speed up their drinking, slow down hers. Get these guys really drunk really fast, so hopefully, they won't remember whatever she is going to do When she gets here, I'll try to slow her drinking down. The more she drinks, the worse this is going to be." I explain my plan.

"How are you going to keep her from drinking?" Collin asks.

"I don't know. I'll figure something out. And babe... I'm sorry for whatever is about to happen." I say, grabbing his hand and squeezing. He looks at me with a smile. "Now go get them to do shots." I laugh, and he walks to the kitchen to distract the boys.

"We are supposed to be celebrating. Come on, let's do shots!" Collin says loudly to hype them up.

"Yes!" Wyatt cheers. Ok, let's do this.