After Your Rejection

Chapter 26 One Year Later

Alexis

It's been a year since I came to the Howling Wolf Pack. Or I should better say, since I ran away from the mess I created with Seth and Sebastian. I mean, Alpha Sebastian. I haven't heard from him the whole time. At first, I was relieved, because I really needed time to think about everything I'd been through. Then I was curious why he didn't come to sever the bond completely. After finding out about Seth and me, I was sure that was what he wanted. After some time that passed, and he didn't reach out to me, I didn't know how I should feel about it. Does he not care that we are still bonded? I don't know what I can expect from him coming here tomorrow. But I know that this time, I'm ready for anything that life will serve me. I know I can withstand anything because I have my friends and my family to help me overcome everything. Last year showed me how important these people are in my life. I have their support, and they encourage me in my way to understand myself better and to feel whole again.

I'm doing better than ever before. I'm seeing a therapist who has helped me to cope with my past actions. She also made me think about my insecurities and fears. I realized I was scared sh*tless I would never be enough, even before the whole rejection thing. Considering who my parents are and what their status is, it was a surprise at first. When I started thinking deeply about it, it wasn't a surprise anymore. My Dad is the most powerful Alpha in our part of the country. He is respected by everyone – by our pack members, by other Alphas, the werewolf council, even the Lycans and their king! He is a great leader. He may seem ruthless to some, but he is always fair. Don't let me start with my Mum! She is the perfect Luna. She is caring, always ready to help anybody, she can behave like a proper lady and people love her. She is everything that is expected and needed from a good Luna. Axel got the best qualities from both our parents, which is good, considering he is the future Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack.

And then there is me. Despite the fact I was not showing it, I always felt insecure about myself. I'm not like any one of them. Like I was lacking something. My therapist, Tina, said that may have been the reason why I acted so quickly and rejected Alpha Sebastian even before I gave him a chance to explain himself. I was hurt, because I thought I was not enough for him, that I was lacking something he needed in his mate and I didn't have it, or I wasn't the one he wanted as a mate. I took it as a betrayal, I spiraled into my insecurities and let them lead my actions. Tina helped me see all of this and told me it's okay to feel different, to be different. I know now I don't need to be like Dad or Mum to be enough. I don't need anybody to tell me I'm perfect, I just need to let myself believe I'm the best version of myself, be confident in my abilities, and be more tolerant of my complicated personality and my past mistakes.

I also realized I loved Seth. Tina helped me with admitting it, and she showed me it was okay to feel the pain from his betrayal, to grieve about losing somebody you loved, and to let go of it all at the right moment. She encouraged me to express my true emotions, so I cried, I yelled, I beat the sh*t out of the punching bag, and in the end, I felt better because I let it all out, not bottling it. And I decided to be happy and don’t dwell on the past.

I trained hard to be strong even without my wolf. Because I always wanted to be able to protect myself and the people around me. I completed the first year of college online and then started my second year with a transfer to the one in the Blood Moon Pack, studying online for now as well. I know my stay in the Howling Wolf Pack is only temporary and when I'm ready I want to go back home, so it was better to start there than continue with my studies in a city I will never step foot in. I think I'm finally ready to go home. And I'm ready to solve the situation with Alpha Sebastian. I don't want to run away from it anymore. He deserves to be free from the bond between us and to find a second-chance mate if he wants to. He deserves to be happy.

'Hey, I knew I would find you here. You okay?' Damian asks me and hugs me from behind. I'm at the beach, walking barefoot in the sand, having the sea waves flowing around my ankles, and watching the sunset. This is my favorite spot for thinking.

'Just thinking.' I tell him. Damian made sure to come home from the Alpha training every weekend. I told him numerous times I could manage one weekend without him, but he was persistent about coming every week nevertheless. He always told me I would be bored to death without him, and he didn't want me crying over him.

'About tomorrow?' He asks me worriedly.

'About tomorrow and about other things. I'm ready to go home, Dame. I will always be grateful to you, your parents, Tommy, and all the other pack members who welcomed me with open arms. But it's time.' I turn around to face him, waiting for his reaction.

'And what about me? I will miss you like crazy. I liked coming home to you.' He pouts, looking adorable. Big bad Alpha pouting!

'You will be fine. I have a feeling you will be more than fine. I love being here, but this is not my home. Don't take it the wrong way, you guys made me feel at home, but you know… My heart wants to be somewhere else. And I'm finally ready.' I smile at him, hoping he would believe me.

'Gosh, I'm going to miss you so badly, you little minx.' Damian hugs me even tighter.

'Like I said, I have a feeling you will be good. Besides, you can come whenever you want.' I propose.

'Every weekend?' He asks me with hope.

'Every weekend.' I pat his hand.

'Alexis, are you ready to face Sebastian tomorrow?' I hear the worry in his voice again. I think about it for a while. I'm ready to see him, but I don't know what to expect, so it's still kind of stressful for me.

'More than ever before. He gave me so much time to put my life back, so it's fair to give him his life back. He deserves to have a second-chance mate by his side, a Luna for his pack, so I'm ready for his rejection or for him to accept my rejection.' I tell him sincerely in the end.

'You think he's going to do that?' Damian asks me with raised eyebrows, indicating he's surprised about what I said.

'After everything I've put him through? Well, yeah... Besides, he didn't reach out to me this whole time.' I point out.

'Exactly. If he didn't reach out, it meant he wanted you in his life. Because if he didn't, he would have severed the bond by now. Trust me, he is waiting for the right time to talk to you. The question is, do you want him or not?'