Letting go

Chapter 5

Christian

"I'm going out!"

"Where are you going now?"

"None of your business, don't wait up!" The front door slams with such force that I swear the windows shake as my wife hurries off dressed to party while I sit in the house with our two children.

I've never been against her having a night off or blowing off steam, I've always encouraged her to do it, nor have I ever minded the nights where she's been out so late that she ended up staying over at one of her friend's houses but lately it seems to be her only interest. I don't remember the last time that we went on a date night or even cuddled up and watched a film once the kids in are in bed.

"3... 2... 1" My brother Jack sings out and on cue, Sophie starts to wail, her mothers show of slamming the door once again waking her up. I let out a sigh and run my hands through my hair. She does this every time she leaves not giving a f**k that it wakes our daughter every goddam time!

"I've got her." Jack quickly gets up from the couch and heads for her room. Soon enough her cries stop and moments later he comes tiptoeing down the stairs as I head for the kitchen to grab a beer and start cleaning away the mess that I know Amy's left there from making the kids dinner, for once!

"I changed her diaper and she's gone back to sleep. I poked my head in on Brody too, he's snoring away catching flies as usual." A laugh passes my lips picturing his cute little face as he sleeps but then reality settles heavily on my shoulders as I let out a deep sigh while taking two beers out of the fridge and passing one to Jack.

"Talk to me, brother." I look up and all I see is concern on his face. I have four brothers, and one sister and even though we are a very close nit family I have to admit that I'm closer to Jack and my younger brother Tom than any of my other brothers.

As always thinking of Tom makes my heart tug. He spent 8 years in the army and after he left he decided to live in Florida with his best friends Archie and Molly. We speak all the time but still, I miss seeing his face every day.

I wasn't surprised when Tom told us that he would move to Florida with Archie and Molly. Tom and Archie have pretty much been best friends since kindergarten and after meeting Molly in high school he became inseparable from her too. I know Archie well but I've never met Molly. By the time she had made friends with the boys, I was spending more time away from the house than needed. trying to be a cool teenager and all that. It was a stupid time in my life but man, it was fun!

Six years ago my grandmother April sadly passed away after a long and brave battle with cancer and left her farm to my dad, he was her only child so we knew that it would happen. Mom and Dad spent the last six months of Grandma April's life in Texas caring for her and we were all absolutely devastated when she passed.

Growing up we used to visit her twice a year and she was the best woman that I've ever known. She lost her husband, our Grandad to a boating accident while he was out fishing one day when my dad was a teenager so we never got to meet him but she loved him more than life itself and never moved on from him so I'd like to think that they are finally back together now.

After my dad inherited the place he and my mom decided to move out here and have a fresh start. They asked all of their children to join them here and despite my brothers and I all being adults, we all decided to come here.

Well every one of us except our sister Mia that is. She's away at a university in California but she's considering moving here once she's done with uni. I think she will love living here, I know the rest of us do and despite the situation, I find myself in now, I still dont regret moving out here because if I hadn't off then I wouldn't have my son or daughter and I couldn't imagine my life without them.

"Christian... Chris!" I shake myself out of my lost thoughts and focus back in on my brother. "Where'd you go?" He looks concerned for me and I appreciate it but I just hate that I'm even in this situation, to begin with. "Sorry, brother was just thinking about Tom and Grandma April. What did you say?" I take a drink from my beer finding it empty so take out another two from the fridge and pass one to Jack as I start cleaning up the mess she left behind.

"I said talk to me, brother. What's going on? And I want the truth." He steps closer to me placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing tight. "What do you mean?" I foreign innocence not that I think he'll believe me. Jack is not dull and he spends a lot of time with me and at my house. He sees it all even if he does act discreetly which I appreciate especially in front of my kids.

"Don't do that not with me. You know what I'm talking about Chris. You guys aren't how you used to be. You argue more than ever, she's gone more than ever. And lately, all I ever see you do is cook, clean, care for the kids, and work. It's as if you have become a single dad Chris. We both know it's true so don't try and palm me off. I'm here for you, for my niece and my nephew you know that and I want to help but I can't if you don't talk to me!"

I stare at my half-empty bottle of beer while I try and figure out what to say. The truth is I have been avoiding reality for some months now and I know I need to face up to things but the result will be me out of this house and away from my 1-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son much more than I want.

"There's something you're not telling me," He grunts and all I can do is nod while the words burn the tip of my tongue. How do I tell my brother that my wife has already cheated on me twice? That I know of anyway. How do I tell him that I suspect that's what she's doing tonight?

I feel like I'm living in hell right now but maybe he's right, maybe it's time I talk to my brother. Maybe it's time to finally face reality and figure out my life. Hell, maybe it's time I started living my life again.