The Divorceary

Chapter 2: Open Road

Chapter 2: Open RoadHoward was more than a little angry when he walked out of the coffee shop, but he tried not to show it. Instead of rushing to the car, or shoving the door open, he walked slowly and methodically, with just enough bounce to his butt to hopefully get Jason’s attention, but not enough to look like he was doing it on purpose. He suddenly remembered how Jason used to stare at his ass on the football field, and even more in the locker room, but that had been decades ago when they were in college. It had probably been ten years ago when Jason had started looking at other people’s asses, and in less than a week it would be ten years to the day since Howard had made sure that Jason got his ass out of their house. Not that Jason would remember the date. God knows he could never remember their regular anniversary when they had been together.

Howard put on a fake smile as he climbed into the car, and made sure that the top was down. He took a moment and stretched, remembering how much Jason used to love his broad shoulders. He waited a second and then reversed the car. As he was pulling out, he briskly waved to Jason, making his smile even bigger. There was no way he was going to let that Hummer-driving, stranger-ass-looking, son of a b***h think that he had pissed him off.

On the highway, Howard took deep breaths, trying to remember what he had learned at his new yoga workshop, The Peaceful Human. “Inhale peace, exhale strife. Inhale peace, exhale strife,” he chanted in a tone so angry that he worried he sounded less like the Dalai Lama, and more like an angry drill sergeant.

Although Howard could feel the breaths calming him slightly, he knew that cussing Jason out would probably relieve his stress a whole lot faster. What really made him angry though, was that he still cared what Jason thought. It had been almost ten years. Ten f*****g years. An entire decade later, and he was still just as easily bothered by an argument with this man as he had been when they first met. Although for the life of him, Howard couldn’t remember any arguments he had with Jason those first few years they were together. They had occasionally disagreed about something, but for the most part, things had been harmonious.

Howard suddenly remembered them lying on their backs, staring at the stars as they camped out somewhere deep in the Shenandoah Valley.

“What’s wrong?” Jason had asked him.

“Nothing,” Howard lied.

“Aren’t you enjoying our weekend getaway?” Jason had asked, concern in his eyes as he moved his face over Howard’s.

“Of course, I’m enjoying it. We needed time together that wasn’t at work. I was just thinking that I wish we had some kids to share this with,” Howard had responded, even in the dark finding some comfort in those beautiful eyes.

Jason kissed him sweetly, and they stared at the stars. “I know,” Jason whispered, and a less than a year later they had found themselves on a plane to El Salvador. Jason had arranged it all.

Howard smiled as he remembered them at the orphanage in San Salvador. It was one of the few places at the time that had allowed single men to adopt children. Although they were always a family, legally Howard had adopted James, and Jason adopted Jane. Later, when laws were better, they were able to change things around a little closer to normal, but that had taken years. Howard remembered how sweet that plane trip back had been. The kids had taken to them easily. Jane had fallen asleep in Jason’s arms, and Howard had stayed awake looking out the window with James as they flew into Washington National.

That night they had taken the children back to their apartment in Alexandria. After the kids were asleep again, Howard and Jason sat in the living room looking out at the DC skyline from their apartment.

“Do you think they’ll be alright here?” Howard asked Jason, as they snuggled on the couch.

“Of course, this is an international community. Lots of kids are adopted from other places. They’ll fit in.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Howard clarified, and then rambled in that way that only Jason really appreciated. “Do you think they’ll be alright here, in this building? I mean, they’re not walking yet, but still when they do start walking, there aren’t really a lot of trees and things around here, and I would seriously like to disinfect that whole playground.”

“Let’s see what we can do,” Jason said, kissing the top of Howard’s head.

The next day Jason had called him at home. It was still summer time, and Howard was home with the kids. Although they had planned their trip to El Salvador well, somewhere along the way they had forgotten to plan what they would do when it was time for Howard to return to school.

“There’s a realtor who I want you to call,” Jason said. “She’s pretty savvy, and she said she’ll be happy to help with the babies if you want to go look at some places today. She has her own set of twins. They’re grown now, but she said she could teach us a few tricks about handling two at once.”

“We could use that. I’m trying to change both of their diapers at the same time, and it’s tricky.”

Jason laughed. “What do you think about Three Rivers?”

“It’s a little far out, and we’ll have to transfer our cars and everything from Virginia to Maryland, but the schools are good, and it’s a gorgeous area. It seems like a perfect place to raise some kids. If we put in what’s left of what my parents gave us, can we afford it?”

“I think we can,” Jason said. “Barbara also has some good mortgage connections. I just got off the phone with a guy. As far as what we qualify for, we’re better off than we imagined.”

By the time Howard was to return to school, they were moving into the house in Three Rivers. Jason had begged him that first night in the new master bedroom to stay home with the kids. As if Jason wasn’t hard enough to resist, when Howard looked at the crib and thought of leaving those two with strangers, his heart broke. Although Howard felt horrible doing it only a few weeks before school started, he put in his resignation the next day, hoping in the process that it might give some newly graduated teacher a job.

Howard and Jason had found a good deal in a great neighborhood, and they were determined that as the first gay couple to move there that they would set an amazing example. Cute kids and a well-manicured lawn went much further than Howard had ever realized they could. Also, there were a lot of people who didn’t seem to mind a stay-at-home dad. The stay-at-home moms he knew often asked him for the male perspective, and although he worried their husbands might be jealous with a man around, it actually seemed to make some of them more comfortable. By the end of the first year, Howard couldn’t remember how many times he had heard a neighbor say to her husband something like, “Don’t worry, honey, when that creep came to the door, I called Howard,” or “There was a snake in the pool, but I made more poor Howard come over.” Actually, most of the women there were pretty self-sufficient, but he knew they said things like that to ease their husbands’ minds about the man they’d been hanging out with all day.

The neighborhood had welcomed Howard and Jason, and so had Three Rivers. Several of their neighbors ended up doing business with Jason, like Gene and Marjorie Plum whose business had a ton of small offices scattered throughout the DC area, or Paul Chambers who owned the office park off of Second Street in that little area Three Rivers considered downtown.

As Howard remembered all this, he realized that he was calm now, and that somewhere in his journey he had quit doing stress relief breathing and reverted to something like normal. He smiled, and then said aloud to the open highway, “What happened to that time? Better yet, what happened to that man?”

He remembered Jason today in the coffee shop, and suddenly he could feel the stress reenter him. Where had this nice, couch-snuggling man gone, and when had he been replaced with an asshole who ordered coffee for you just the way you hated it? Or maybe Howard was overestimating himself, and how much he meant to Jason. Maybe it had been an accident. Perhaps Jason was seeing someone else, and extra cream and sugar was how that man liked his coffee.

The idea made Howard angry, but why? They hadn’t been together for almost ten years. He had no right to be angry if Jason were seeing someone else. As a matter of fact, he should probably be a little worried about Jason if Jason weren’t seeing someone else after all this time. Of course, he hadn’t been seeing anyone else in this almost entire decade apart from Jason, and there was nothing wrong with that. Was there?

It wasn’t like he was still in love with Jason. Hell, he could barely stand to talk to Jason lately, let alone…well, let alone nothing. He was over Jason, and Jason was over him. No matter the reason for the sickeningly sweet coffee, it conclusively proved that Jason had definitely lost any interest in Howard.

Howard remembered this as he pulled into the driveway and sat for a minute, carefully inhaling and exhaling before putting the top to his convertible up and going inside the house.