My Second Chance Beta

2. HO HO HO

LUNA BECKY POV

It was nice to have my Winnie sit down and make cookies with me like old times. I still remember all those years ago when she helped me and my mom. By help I mean eat half the dough. “Back then she had a bottle of milk, not a bottle of wine.” Celeste jeered. It was true she had a few glasses of wine... because she is a wolf, she barely got a buzz, but I hoped it wouldn’t become a habit.

When she excused herself to go for a walk, I finally allowed myself to think about her situation. She finally graduated from college. Gracias a Dios (Thank God). Even though I knew she still felt awkward around us, she managed to spend Christmas Eve with us. There was still a lot of shame and regret in her eyes, and she was still raw. I was just happy that she was present and didn't skip the holidays with us. Not that she had anywhere else to go.

I want to tell her to stop beating herself up. That she needs to let it all out and move forward, but she won’t speak about it. Every time I try to bring it up, she walks away or says she doesn’t want to discuss it. Which means she doesn’t want to face it, accept it and move past it. I know a lot of that has to do with facing her part in everything. Owning up to her mistakes, even if they were mistakes she made because of el puto's (that f**k's) manipulations. Until she does, she isn’t going to find her place in any pack.

Not at Golden Moon or Sol. Or anywhere else for that matter. “Pastelito.” Luke’s husky voice cut through my thoughts. “Yes, Elder Luke.” I replied with a sultry voice. “There is a bubble bath with your name on it waiting for you.” I perked up and Juliet, the head of the kitchen, looked at me curiously. I smiled and continued wrapping the tamale in my hand. “Does that bath come with a naked elder waiting for me?” I asked and bit my lip.

“Which elder were you hoping for?” He teased. “Zayn is grumpy but not bad looking.” I teased back. “PASTELITO!” He growled. “¡Calmate! Sabes que eres el único lobo que puede hacer que me moje. (Calm down! You know you're the only wolf that can make me wet)” I purred. He huffed and I giggled. “Trae tu sexy trasero aquí, o tengo que ir a buscarte? (Get your sexy ass over here, or do I need to come get you?)” He warned.

A game of hide and seek was tempting, but I had a lot to do today. There were still the roasts and hams. “There are twenty able hands here ready to work. Our mate needs our hands and every available hole ASAP!” Celeste urged. “I’m on my way.” I jumped up, startling everyone. Oops, tone down the eagerness Becky. Placing the tamale in my hand down I smiled at everyone. “I need a little break. I’ll be back to help later.” Everyone nodded and smiled back.

I felt a little bad when I looked around and everyone was busy prepping, but Celeste had a point. They didn’t need me, did they? I mean, I was just in the way and probably being a distraction. Mami (mommy) always said I talked more than I actually helped. I didn’t take much to convince myself before I sprinted out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Time to be a HO HO HO for my Alfa Gruñoso (Grumpy Alpha).

WINONA POV

After four or five glasses of wine and a thousand cookies later, I decided to take a walk around the pack. The festivities wouldn’t begin until around dinner and Adam was still in the hospital with Angela. If I stayed in the kitchen, I would be forced into the tamale sweatshop my mother had going. By the look on her face and her volunteers, you would think they were in a spa.

Cooking was never for me. I can cook but didn’t enjoy it. Watching all of them happily making delicious treats with such ease made me feel inadequate. As I passed the training area, I couldn’t help but think that fighting was also never for me either. I’m strong physically and can defend myself, but don’t dig the whole warrior business.

I guess I was always destined to have a profession that did little to benefit the pack. Werewolf politics, just like human politics, bored me to death. Unlike my mother, who although had her own studio and took pictures for the school and during the Holidays for the pack members. She saw it as a hobbie. As Luna she was very involved and made her opinion known about pack issue and even the development of the council. She also handled all the events, but it was her job as a mother and Luna that was more important and took most of her time.

Clearly, I was not made to be Luna. I can’t even make the right choices in my own life, let alone anyone else’s. I sighed, feeling like an utter failure. As I continued walking, I noticed I had come full circle and was nearing the infirmary, which is one building away from the pack house. The security office is right between them. Maybe I should have been a nurse… Just as I was considering a new career path, my brother opened the door and held it open. His other hand guided my cute blond bubbly cousin.

Angela was holding her little boy close to her heart, bundled in the Christmas blanket I had made for him. A mother. I once thought that would one day be my main focus. I felt a sharp pain shoot right through my heart as I thought about how that would never happen. “Winnie honey, you need to stop. If you want to have a job or a pup, it’s up to you to make it happen. The only one stopping you… is you.” Lucy huffed in annoyance. I don’t blame her for being tired of me. I’m tired of myself.

What she said rang true though. It didn’t matter if I stayed here and opened a studio or went to Golden Moon and took over my mom’s old studio. I could also get a job at the school like I had planned. When I left here, they didn’t have photography class of any sort. There were options and I was ignoring them so that I could have a reason to whine. I wasn’t completely done with my fiesta de lástima (pity party) but I needed to take a step in the right direction.

I hastened my pace as I walked towards the pack house and up the stairs to my room. There was one thing that always made me happy. Entering my room, my eyes roamed around until I found my camera case. It had been a long time since I used it for pure enjoyment. Not for a class project or assignment. San Francisco is a beautiful place, but it lost its charm in my eyes. I hardly ventured out, not wanting to see a familiar place or person that would remind me of him.

That wasn’t the case here. I needed to take full advantage of that. A few hours later, I was ready and so was my camera. I walked down with it securely in my hands. The second I saw everyone surrounding Adam, Angela and Angel next to the fireplace, my camera was in front of my face. I was capturing beautiful memories just like I always wanted to. Images that could be portrayed differently by each beholder.

I ignored the curious looks coming from my mother and father who had seen me the moment I walked down the stairs. When they finally went back to doting on their grandchild, I took their picture. The large green tree decorated with lights and ornaments was standing proudly behind them. It was warm and beautiful. Only when I had my camera in front of me could I put everything else aside and live vicariously through my muses. The life I once dreamt of.