My Second Chance Beta

1. Staying here?

WINONA POV

It felt bittersweet to finally graduate. I could have graduated with all my friends months ago. Given my parents and family the joy and memories of watching me walk on stage. Instead, I made the biggest mistake of my life. So, the only option I had now was to unceremoniously pack up my things and go to my Uncle Jason’s before we all came to spend the Holidays at Sol with my parents and my new baby nephew who was just born. I have the option to go back and walk on stage with next year’s class, but it doesn’t sound appealing.

There are a lot of things that don’t sound appealing right now. Like returning to Golden Moon. I wish I could say that I’m independent enough to live on my own right now. Maybe start over in a new pack, a fresh start. The truth is, I don’t trust my judgement anymore. I don’t want to cause my parents and family any more worries. It’s barely been six months since I showed up trying to take my brother's title from under him.

When I left Golden Moon, everyone was understanding and didn’t show any hostility towards me. We exchanged goodbyes but never talked about everything that transpired. I didn’t have the nerve to take Alex aside and explain myself and apologize. I’ve been avoiding talking about last summer. That’s why I went to my uncle Jason’s when classes let out a week ago. I needed to prepare myself to face everyone.

I was relieved when we got to Sol, and everyone was too busy worshiping Angela’s baby bump to notice me. By the time mom was making her way over to me, Angela’s water broke, and I was saved by the bell. I was also excited for my brother, I hadn't had a chance to really let it sink in that he was mated to my cousin. That didn't sound right. I guess since they aren't blood related and, although they grew up together, didn't really see each other as family. It wasn't so icky.

When everyone left this morning and asked if I was coming with them to Golden Moon, I politely declined. I gave the gifts I made to Nana Clara to hand out. Now it’s just my parents, Chris, Adam, Angela and the new addition. Angel. As far as my family goes anyway. I’ve never been to Sol, so I don’t know anyone here. The only people I might have known or attended school with were traitors and left the pack after killing Alpha Gray.

I can’t help but wonder if it was Jonathan who gave the orders to kill him. I shuddered at the thought. How oblivious, selfish and pathetic I had been to not notice what he was up to. For Goddess’s sake, I didn’t even know his real name! Brandon… Jonathan… Mark. “We were deceived Winnie. Let’s learn from our mistakes and continue with our heads held high.” Lucy insisted. I had no idea how she managed to be so optimistic.

The moment our bond faded on the night of the full moon, I felt empty inside. It was better than the burning pain I felt in my heart after rejecting him. Or the numbness that followed. Not to mention the humiliation that came after I realized just how much I had messed up. “I was a bad daughter, sister and friend. How can I go back “home” now? I should just ask Adam if I can stay here instead.” I told my wolf.

“You’re hiding. If you do that, we will be stuck in the past forever. Fess up to your mistakes and apologize. Accept that our ex-mate didn’t want us and look to the future. It was a hard blow to find out that the wolf we had dreamed of finding our whole lives was trash. That we gave our first time to someone unworthy of it. But we are strong Win!” Lucy had so much fight in her. Although at first, she was just as heartbroken as I was.

How could I tell my wolf that I wasn’t as strong as her? I couldn't bounce back as quickly as she did. Maybe if I get dressed and leave my room, she will give me a break. After a few minutes of stalling, I finally got up and took a shower. It was Christmas day and I’m sure my mom is cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The least I could do was keep her company, maybe have some wine. Thank the Goddess that day drinking is acceptable during the holidays.

The second I opened my door, I heard Christmas music coming from downstairs. It was accompanied by laughter and chatter. My mom was definitely down there being rowdy. Before I could get downstairs, one of the guest room doors opened and my father walked out. “Morning.” I mumbled and he smiled before walking over and hugging me. Why did his arms always feel the safest?

They were like a shield, protecting me from everything and everyone. My daddy.

“Hey Winnie, why didn’t you go to Golden Moon with everyone else?” He asked as he pulled away. “Um… I’m not ready… to go back there.” I admitted. I could no longer look at him in the eyes, so I bowed my head. He cupped my cheek and raised my face to look up at him. “We all make mistakes. There are difficult situations in our lives. Some have it harder than others… but we all have to face our demons and find a way to cast them out.” He and my know-it-all wolf were in agreement. I, on the other hand, was not ready for such a task.

I sighed and nodded my head. “Think about it. Your mother and I will be going to Golden Moon in a few weeks. After that, we will be traveling to different packs that need my assistance.” He finished and kissed the top of my head. I had almost forgotten that my dad was an elder now. There have been so many changes since I left that I can hardly keep up. Adam is now officially Alpha of Sol with Angela as his Luna. They are both parents now, giving our parents their first grandchild.

Luke Jr and Leia are council warriors, in the running to become elite warriors. Chris is the new Beta at Sol. Former Beta Jordan and Uncle Jerry are Head Elite Warriors or something like that. Everyone has a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Everyone except me. “Are you sulking again?” Lucy scolded as I moped down the stairs. “No.” I lied. I let out a deep breath and pushed my pity party deep down until it reached my feet. My mother’s laughter managed to bring a smile to my face. She loved this time of the year.

She felt my presence before I reached the doorway and turned to call me over. Her bright smile never faltered and it soothed me. As much as I didn’t want to face her. I need her so much right now. “Come over Win! We’re making Mexican wedding cookies, your favorite.” She waggled her eyebrows with a silly grin on her face. A little Christmas cheer would do me good, I thought. I sat next to my mother and began helping.

Listening as everyone chatted and joked with my mother. I doubted she knew half of the pack members helping but she talked to them as if she had known them forever. Everyone got quiet and at first, I had no idea why. That is until I sensed him. Adam came walking in with the biggest and proudest smile on his face. “Where is my grandpup?” My mom frowned at him. “Relax Mom. Angela and Angel will be discharged in a few hours. We could smell the cookies from a mile away. I came to get some for her.” He began to place different cookies on a small plate.

My mother got up and went into the refrigerator. She emerged with a quart of milk and four water bottles. “It’s important that she hydrates. It will help her produce milk.” She said and placed everything in a bag, handing it to him. “Thanks mom.” Adam kissed the top of her head and then came to me and did the same. Before he could walk away, I held his sleeve. “Is it… is it okay if I stay here for a while?” I asked, unsure if he would have me.

“You can visit for as long as you like, Win. You don’t need to ask.” He playfully scolded me. “Now if you want to stay, you will need to become a pack member and renounce Golden Moon.” He pointed out. With one last raised eyebrow, he went back to his mate with goodies in hand. “Are you thinking of staying here?” Mom asked with wide eyes. “Would that be bad?” I asked while rolling another cookie in my hands. “No. As long as you are with family, I will feel at peace.” She caressed my hair reassuringly. Did I really want to stay here? Could this be the fresh start I need?