Chained Desire

Chapter |12|

C A I T L I N ‘ S P. O. V

No way this is real.

Knox Carter is not looking at me like a man starved and I’m his only source of consumption. His hands aren’t coiled around my neck,gently squeezing, and the words that are coming out of his mouth aren’t true.

I pinch my arm hard, pressing my eyes shut, believing I’m going to wake up in an empty bed alone again. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” He sounds amused, he sounds real.

I peek one lid open, finding him mere inches away from my way. Completely real and here.

“What are you doing?” One hand slips down, rounding back around my bare thigh. He pulls my leg up, curling it around his waist.

“Giving in, I guess. I thought you wanted this too?”

“Are you drunk?” He usually is but I can’t smell anything on his breath.

Chuckling, he shakes his head, drawing me in closer. I almost gasp when he rubs against my p***y, “f**k, you smell so good.” His head drops against my neck, inhaling the citrus scent. “I bet you taste even better.”

This is what I wanted. Knox succumbing to desire, mine and his, yet deep down I know this is wrong. I know it’s just the lust that’s driving us both, passion overriding sense and after there’s going to be guilt and regret but right now…

“f**k it,” I whisper, dragging his lips down to mine.

He kisses me with a kind of a heat I’ve never experienced before, consuming me with it in the fiery depths of hell. I take it all, sinking my fingers into his hair to pull him closer, embracing the burn as his teeth bite down on my lip.

I gasp, and he takes the opportunity to let his tongue slip in, fighting mine for dominance. Giving in, I wrap my legs around his waist, letting him haul me up. My back scratches against the rough wall, dress tearing as he parts my legs to settle between them.

He pulls back, letting me suck in all the oxygen I can. Our noses brush, our bodies glued together in this tiny scrap alleyway, but f**k, this moment is everything to me. Heavy breaths fill the silence, and chest heaves, causing my breasts to rise and fall dramatically.

Knox groans, kissing down my neck and into my chest, “Christ woman, what have you done to me.”

I part my thighs a little further, urging his fingers to close in. “You’re the one who set boundaries. If we had it my way, we would have already been f*****g by now.”

He laughs softly, and for some reason it makes me smile. Tilting his head up, I catch a glimpse of him in the moonlight.

Knox would never be classed as conventionally attractive. He hides beneath his scruffy beard and harsh demeanour but to me he’s beautiful. I’ve always seen the scars he buries, the pain to accompany the jokes but tonight he’s willing to put it all aside just to give me this one moment.

Because we both know this is where it ends. s*x and nothing else.

I smooth his hair back, gripping on the ends as his finger pushes aside my panties. “Don’t tease me.”

I’m already wet enough. One look and he has me dripping. “Yes, ma’am.”

He hoists me up, before sinking two fingers into me. My head almost lolls back from the size. I can’t even fathom how big his c**k must be but surely there’s no way it’ll fit without a tub size of lube.

“More,” My body slumps onto him, letting him carry my weight as he pistons his fingers in and out.

The rapid movements are coupled with his thumb that circles my clit into various motions. Yet, it’s his words that get me off. His intoxicating voice, and that damn accent.

“Good girl, that’s it sweetheart. Take it for me just like that.” I can feel the build up of the crescendo as he works me to the edge. “You gonna c*m for me sweet girl? You gonna c*m all my fingers like a good girl? That’s it, oh f**k I can’t wait to feel how you feel around my c**k, squeezing it with that tight pussy.”

“Knox!” I claw at his neck, trying to keep myself upright as the o****m rocks through my body.

My legs tremble, forcing one of my heels to fall off. Slowly, he pulls his fingers out, meeting my eyes as he sucks on one of them. He winks, grinning, “I knew you would taste good.” Then he pushes the other finger into my mouth, watching me clean it with my tongue.

Laughing, he pulls it out, and captures my lips. It’s the softest kiss we’ve shared yet,and I can feel something intimate within that I never want to end. His lips shift up, brushing against my forehead as he murmurs, “Watching you c*m was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, sweetheart.”

For some reason, it causes tears to spring in my eyes. Obscenely stupid tears that I fail to hide from him.

Concern floods his gaze. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” I already feel him pulling away, but my desperation causes me to cling onto him tighter.

But it’s too late. The heat is already evaporating, leaving us in the cold brink of night.

Reality sets in. The fact we’re committing public indecency in a grimy alleyway, Rhys and then…Aaron.

Fuck, if I hadn’t signed Knox’s death certificate before, I definitively have now.

I can already see the regret coming to light in his expression. Scoffing, I drop to my knees and reach for his belt.

Like expected, he jerks away from me. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” The ground scrapes beneath my knees, further adding to the burning humiliation I feel inside. I look up at him, fingers almost trembling as they clasp around his zipper. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You touch me, I touch you. That’s how it works isn’t it?”

“Caitlin Christ, I don’t want you to suck my cock.”

“Why not?” Anger flares in his eyes the same way the pain of rejection burns in mine. This transitory pleasure may be the only thing left between us.

Gripping my wrists, he yanks me up, pushing me back against the wall. I hate the way I want him to f**k me up against it, I hate that I’m already wet for him, eager to go again. “I kissed you because I wanted to, I watched you c*m on my fingers because I wanted to. I don’t expect anything in return, that isn’t how this works.”

“And what is this? Because you have barely looked at me like you want me since that first night. I could feel your eyes on me before I knew it was you, and for the first time in my life I felt truly wanted. I thought maybe, I could find some peace in this f*****g madness because you wanted me. But you chose him. You will always choose him.”

“It isn’t that simple, Caitlin.” He tries to cup my cheek, but I step away, ignoring the sharp prickle of cold that bites at my skin. “I’m Aaron’s friend, I’m his right hand man I can’t just…”

“Exactly. You might want me today Knox, but will you want me tomorrow? When we get back to New York? Will you stand and look my brother in the eye to tell him that you want his baby sister? Would you really risk all of that for me? Because I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t sacrifice everything, so you shouldn’t either.”

I turn to leave but he grasps my hand, “Where are you going?”

A pathetic laugh leaves my dry throat. “To finish my date, although I don't know what excuse I’m going to use for this.”

His grip tightens, and I see that familiar jealousy burn in his eyes. It’s almost enough to convince my heart otherwise. Maybe he does care, maybe this could work, but it’s all subdued when I realise how stupid that sounds.

“You’re seriously going back to him?”

“I can’t just ditch him, and I don’t really feel like going home with you anyways.”

He tugs me closer, and the warmth radiating off his body surrounds me. “But you’ll go home with him.” I almost shiver as his nose brushes along my hairline. “You’ll let him touch you like I did, f**k you. Do you know how easy it would be to take you in this f*****g alley? Spin you around, press you against the wall and rip that dress open.” He grips my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I’d sink my c**k so deep inside of you that you would forget every other man’s name. You’d belong to me completely sweetheart, nothing and no-one else would matter.”

God, I want that so bad. Everything would be so much easier that way.

He would f**k me, leave me here leaking with his c*m and then we’d spend the rest of our lives subtly ignoring each other with maybe a few meaningless f***s in between.

“Why didn’t you?” My voice is laced with desperation that is hard to ignore.

“Because sweetheart, for some reason I actually care about you, and protecting you is bigger than getting my d**k wet.”

Narrowing my eyes, I spit out at him. “Then why kiss me back asshole?”

“Because I knew you needed it. You might have more s*x than me, but that doesn’t mean you ever actually experience pleasure. It’s a job for you, and I wanted to give you something, make you remember that s*x isn’t limited to sucking d***s for cash. It can be more than that. I just wanted to help you feel something, but I know it was wrong. Your brother…if Aaron finds out…”

“I won’t tell him if you won’t. It was nothing right, just a small blip.” I offer a pained smile, almost heartbroken from the way he sees me.

It’s all true though. I haven’t had s*x, not real s*x, since I got into all of this s**t.

Knox made me feel the way no-one has in a long time. He made me realise what’s possible out there, out of the corrupt bubble I’m living in. Suddenly moving back to New York, escaping all of this s**t sounds a whole lot better, but pretending that this never happened…that’s going to hurt me for a while.

“You should stay at the apartment tonight, Sapphire is a little sick. Threw up everywhere.”

“f**k,” She probably had a bad night, decided to get drunk in the dressing room. “Let me say goodbye, I’ll meet you out there.” He doesn’t let go of me though, “Hey, I promise I won’t run.”

Slowly he releases his grip, watching as I slip back into the restaurant. Wow, this place got even busier since I left. It takes me a few minutes to navigate back to Rhys, and I hate that I’m doing this to him. I guess it’s for the best though. In what world would we ever make a good couple?

He sighs in relief as I come into view. “There you are. I thought you ran out of me.”

“I’m so sorry, my friend is sick and she’s freaking out and needs someone to take care of her…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we can just do this another time. Do you need a lift?”

“No, I’ve got a cab waiting. Thank you so much,” I squeeze his hand, hating myself as I see the understanding and concern in his eyes. God, he’s such a good guy and that’s the best f*****g reason for me to walk away.

Despite my protests, he leaves with me and pays for the bill. As we hit the sidewalk, I do something so incredibly stupid. Cupping his jaw, I rise on my toes and kiss him.

I expect something to spark the same way it does with Knox. I figured it must just be because I was in control, kissing a guy I wanted too, but with Rhys…it’s nice and sweet but flat. Nothing that electrifies me from head to toe, nothing that makes my heart race a million miles an hour.

It’s just a kiss.

Pulling back, I wipe the lipstick from his lips, matching his small smile. “Bye Rhys.”

Knox is parked around the corner, sitting on the hood of his car. His eyes give nothing away as I reach for the passenger door. “Your lipstick is smudged.” He remarks casually.

I throw him an obvious look, “We just made out in the alleyway.”

“No, it’s not that. I think you gave in and gave Mr Richy Rich a goodnight kiss.”

I slug at his shoulder, fighting a smile as he laughs softly. “Can you just drive?”

***

When I manage to open the shitty door, panic sets in. My heart stops as I take in the trashed living room, the cushions that have been ripped open, the fridge door hanging askew…“Saph? Saph?”

I reach into my bag for my phone, racking my brain for the numerous reasons why this could have happened. “Saph!” I scream, tears burning at the corners of my eyes. If she’s hurt, if they hurt her, if they…

“Caitlin,” She comes out of her room, mascara staining her sheets, scratches marked down her bloody arms.

“Saph what…” My heart is breaking as I realise what’s happened. What she’s done. “Why?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I wrap her in my arms before she collapses. Her entire body is shaking, trembling whilst violent sobs rip loud from her chest.

My lips press against her head, and I try to wipe away the tears but they just keep falling. “What happened? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“I ruined it, I ruined everything, I ruined the plan.”

“Plan? What plan?”

“Our plan to be free in New York with Knox and…I ruined it, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you talking about? How did you…”

“He knows Caitlin. He knows the truth about who you are, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

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A/N: What do you think Geneva will do?

Thoughts on Knox and Caitlin’s steamy moment?