I'm Not Perfect ❣

To The Guy I Could’ve Seen Myself With Forever❣

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Naranasan mo na bang mag mahal ng mali? Nagmahal ka na ba ng may kahati? Nang-angkin ka na ba ng pag aari ng iba? Nagbigay ka na ba ng walang hinihinging kapalit?

Bakit nga ba minsan may mga bagay na nagagawa tayo na hindi natin inaasahang magagawa pala natin?

Sino nga ba ang may gusto mag mahal ng may kahati?

Sino nga ba ang may gustong maging pangalawa lang?

At sino nga ba gustong magmahal ng mali?

Bakit nga ba hindi mo maiwasan mahalin ang pag-aari ng iba?

Na kahit anong iwas mo hindi mo mapigilan?

Pikit mata mo na lang tinatanggap ang katotohanan makasama mo lang siya kahit sa konting sandali.

May pag-ibig na dumarating sa maling panahon at maling pagkakataon. Gustohin mo man makasama siya hindi naman pwede. Minsan iniisip mo na sana siya ang kasama mong bumuo ng mga pangarap at kasama mo hanggang sa pagtanda. Sabi nga nila hindi lahat ng mga nagsasama ay nagmamahalan. At hindi lahat ng nagmamahalan ay magkasama.

Mapaglaro ang tadhana minsan akala mo nakita mo na ang taong gusto mong makasama sa habang buhay. Pero sa isang iglap may isang taong gugulo ng mundo mo. At hindi mo inaasahan magbabago ng pananaw mo. Maraming bagay ang hindi mo maipaliwanag at hindi mo maintindihan.

Ano nga ba ang dapat at hindi? Ano nga ba ang tama at mali?

Kahit gaano ka katalino sa paraan at buhay. Pagdating sa larangan ng pag-ibig mabo bobo ka din. Dahil sa pag-ibig hindi naman utak ang ginagamit puso.

Kaya hindi mo mapipigilan o mapipili kung kanino ka magmamahal. Mahirap itama ang mga pagkakamali..Lalo na kapag nagdudulot ito ng ligaya sayo..Pero kung iisipin mo nga mas masarap tahakin ang tamang landas. Yung bang wala kang nasasaktan na iba at wala kang nasisirang buhay..

Walang sinuman ang maaari mang husga sa taong nagmahal ng mali dahil lahat tayo ay may pagkakamaling nagawa. Ang mahalaga alam mo kung paano ka babangon at itatama ang pagkakamaling iyong nagawa.. Minsan kailangan gawin ang tama kahit labag sya sa iyong kalooban..

Ang pag-ibig naman kasi hindi yan makasarili. Hindi lang kaligayahan mo ang dapat mo sundin. Dapat isipin mo ang taong nasa paligid mo at ang tama. Baka kailangan mo lang tanggapin sa sarili mo na..

You have a right love at the wrong time. Lahat naman pwede pero hindi lahat dapat.

❣❣❣

"Nobody can teach me who I am.

You can describe parts of me,

but who I am, and what I need,

is something I have to find out myself."

It takes a lot for a girl like me to see myself with someone forever. Since I was a child, I never wanted anything more than the fairytales that Disney provided me with. I didn’t need the fancy dresses, or a castle in a land far away. I just wanted the guy that would show up in my life, and show me what true and everlasting love is.

I got my wish when I met you. You were the guy that truly swept me off my feet, literally and metaphorically. You came into my life like a storm with no warning; you left me as a beautiful disaster with irreparable damage.

It wasn’t always a tragic love story; we had our good moments that will forever outweigh the bad. There were nights we would be surrounded by people, but it wouldn’t matter because to us we were always in our own protective bubble. The summer nights we spent drinking too much Four Loco while sitting around a bonfire, thinking we had the rest of our lives outstretched in front of us came to an end that happened to soon.

You left for college, and that was the end of us. You told me you couldn’t do distance and that you needed to find yourself out there. I loved you so much that I shook my head and agreed with you because you deserved that. I bit my lip to hold back the tears because I wanted to soak in every last minute I had to look you in the eyes and memorize your handsome face and clear blue eyes.

You held me and told me that maybe after college we could find our way back to each other, if it was meant to be. 4 years later, here I am writing you this letter thinking of that promise you made me on that rare chilly August night. You were the man I always wanted, with the way you were determined to do well in the world, the way your hands felt after a long day of work, the way you held my face when you would give me a tender kiss, but most of all the way you made me feel like I was done searching for that person.

You will always be the guy that made me realize that fairytales and love stories do exist.

Even though we didn’t have the happily ever after, I am grateful for the time I had with you and the moments that never seemed long enough. You are engrained in my memory, the guy that I will hold all the others one to, and compare to. You gave me the love story of a lifetime, and I will always be grateful for that.

To The Guy I Could’ve Seen Myself With Forever

❣To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect. You just have to care.❣

?MahikaNiAyana