Alpha's Torn Heart

Touches

- KATHERINE'S POV - 

I stepped out of the bathtub only when I noticed that the water had turned cold. At least I was feeling a little bit better, and I quickly wrapped myself in the only bathrobe I had managed to find. It was covered in his smell, which didn't help much: I hated him for what he did to me, but I just couldn't resist that scent, and knowing that he would never really be mine was more than enough to break my already shattered heart. So, I snuggled myself in his robe, hoping that the contact could make up for what I would never receive.

In order to make that feeling last longer, I took way more time than necessary to dry myself off, and when I noticed that there was no hairdryer, I had to use one of his towels to take all of the excess moist out of my hair. It didn't work great, because I couldn't really manage to smooth them down, so I applied some oil on the lenghts hoping it would work its magic. Once dressed, I took a sigh and went back to the bedroom, knowing well that I would not find him there: I could hear the music and the festive howls of the guests at the party coming from the outside, and surely he was among them, having a good time. I would have liked to join the party, have fun, dance, eat some more of those amazing finger foods, but the pain I felt in my heart didn’t allow me to. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide it, not even from my father: and he didn't deserve to know what had really happened.

It's better if he believes I'm sick, I thought. That I drank too much. Susan will hold the game for me… I don't want him to know.

I considered fixing my hair in a braid, so the next morning I would get a nice wavy effect, but in the end I gave up. I didn't feel in the mood to make myself up that night. I just wanted to cry and sleep and forget everything.

Knowing it was going to be awful, I unmade Murtagh's bed and crawled under the covers. They were soft, cozy and warm, but because of my feelings, in my bones I only felt cold. A terrible, painful cold that made me shiver.

As soon as I breathed in, the pain returned, tenfold in power, and I could not stop the tears from coming out, together with the sobs: there wasn't only his perfume, between those sheets, but also another, less intense, which I could not identify. But instinctively, my wolf knew who it had to belong to, and howled in pain.

It was the smell of a woman. At that precise moment, I was in my mate's bed, where he had brought a girl who wasn't me.

I can't do this ... I sobbed, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my head between them. Why, why do I have to feel so bad? I have always been strong, the strongest of the she-wolves in my pack! Why did the Goddess want to give me just him as a mate? Why does she want to make me suffer?

Why did I have to feel this way? He didn't want me, and given the horrible way he treated me, I wasn't that excited about that bond either. Why did the awareness that he had been with another woman made me feel so bad? Why did I care so much?!

I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but because of the crying my scream was hoarse, weak, marked by tears.

Tears that did not stop running from my eyes even when, hours later, I managed to fall asleep.

I was awakened by a strange sensation. A kind of tickle on the cheek, a delightful, pleasant tickle. I instinctively moved and rolled over in the bed, trying to get closer to the source of that tickle. I wanted more.

A few moments later, although I was still in a kind of trance between sleepy and awake, I realized that I had a hand on my cheek, but it wasn't mine. It was big, solid,warm and soft. It felt amazing. 

How nice ... I muttered to myself, instinctively moving my face against the source of that pleasure. That feeling lasted a few moments more: the next moment I heard a low, prolonged growl and, suddenly, the lips of a man were pressed against mine.

The tickling sensation exploded, becoming an urgent necessity: it was pure excitement, pure desire. Regardless of anything, I stretched my arms to where I thought the man's neck was, I found him and squeezed him tightly, pushing him towards me, over me. He groaned, and just hearing that sound I felt a strange tightness between my legs. I instinctively moved my hips towards his, looking for a bit of friction that I knew would help me with that.

The man deepened the kiss, and I felt his tongue brush against my still closed lips.

Varya howled with pleasure and, in response to her need, parted my lips. The next moment, the man's tongue explored my mouth with hungry desire, while his hands wandered along my body.

Mate! She cried. He came to us!

As soon as she spoke, I opened my eyes.

She was right: it was Murtagh who was kissing me.

What the hell did this man have in mind? Refuse me during our marriage and then come and harass me in the middle of the night?

No! No, please don't! Don't get us away from mate! Varya exclaimed, but reason won out over my instincts and, albeit with pain, I parted from that kiss, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him away from me.

Murtagh looked at me with wide, golden amber eyes. He was not himself: his wolf had taken over.

The next moment his eyes returned to silver gray and he dropped to his knees, clenching his stomach as if he was feeling sick.

"What the hell is your problem?!" I shouted at that point, not caring that literally everyone else in the pack house could hear me.

He gave me a furious look, full of hatred and despise.

"You," he hissed angrily. "You are my problem, bitch."

And without saying anything else he left, slamming the door behind his back.

- MURTAGH'S POV - 

I didn't know how long I had been running. I ran off as soon as I closed my bedroom door, and I still hadn't stopped: around me the trees of the forest grew thicker as I moved away from the marked paths, but I didn't care. I had not shifted, and therefore I felt fatigue starting to make my legs heavy: I didn't care about that either.

I kept running, and running, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that girl.

'Go back to her!' Connor yelled, but I shut him up.

He had no right to speak.

Not at that moment.

Half an hour and about fifteen miles later, my legs gave out and I found myself panting, facing the banks of a small lake, which glistened with silver under the light of the full moon.

I immediately dove into it, regardless of the fact that the water was cold. Maybe it would help. Maybe it would make me forget what had just happened.

'I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about it!' I groaned, but I couldn't help it. The mate bond was too strong, I couldn't resist it. My mind was totally occupied with her: Katherine Evers.

I looked down, and with a sigh I noticed that it wasn't just my brain that was thinking about her: despite the cold that pierced my skin like a thousand needles, the erection was still there, hard as a rock. Involuntarily, I thought about what it would be like to slide myself between Katherine's folds, and a jolt of pleasure mixed with desire sent chills down my spine.

'No… no, not her… Grace…' I prayed. 'Grace is the one I want ... Moon Goddess, please ...'

But there was nothing to be done. Although I tried to think about Grace with all my might, the memories and images of the nights spent with her failed to make me c*m.

And so, just to get rid of that f*****g boner, I let my thoughts about Katherine run free. There was nothing wrong with that, was there? After all, she was my mate, and it was known that once the bond was established, you could feel attraction only towards your other half. There was nothing wrong with recognizing that Katherine was sexy: it didn't mean I loved her, because I knew my heart belonged to Grace. Cuming thinking about her was no different than doing it while watching porn.

Connor growled, furious and disgusted. 'You know it wasn't entirely my fault! When she hugged us you were conscious!'

'Shut up' , I snorted and continued to masturbate, moving my hand faster and faster along my length. I closed my eyes and focused on Katherine, her face, her body. The way she had kissed me, with those full, sweet lips full of desire. How willingly her tongue had played with mine.

'You’d like to have this c**k in your mouth, right? You would suck it all up like a good little b***h ...'

It was undeniable that, whether in love with her or not, that girl was made for s*x. The way she had rolled her hips against mine was just perfect. I knew she had never had such experiences, but for f**k's sake, for being her first time receiving s****l advances she had been phenomenal. I thought of her breasts, the way they molded perfectly to my chest when she hugged me: it was that contact that had made me return, for a second, in myself. The way her body was intertwined with mine, the excitement that pervaded me when I realized she wasn't wearing a bra ... and then, her intimates.

The way she rubbed herself against my c**k… damn. It had been the most amazing feeling ever. And the moment I thought about how good it would be to take her for the first time, claiming her virginity ...

"Aahhh f**k, Katherine ... Katherine ... Katherine" I moaned and screamed her name, as my seed jeezed out and into the water.

And as soon as I got off the heights of orgasm, guilt hit me hard.

'I betrayed her ... I betrayed Grace ...' I realized, panting. What the hell had I come up with? Jerk off thinking about Katherine?

This was not the kind of man I wanted to be!

'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… it's all your fault!' I yelled at Connor, but he didn't get upset in the slightest way. 'You made me touch her and … look at what you did!'

'You know, in your heart, that there is nothing wrong with what we have done. She is mate. We love her.'

'No, you love her! Not me! I love Grace, you f*****g asshole, not her!'

'Grace is dead. Mate is alive and with us. She was excited, he added. She wants us.'

'I don't care. We leave tomorrow' I decided. Somewhere there had to be rogues to take out. 'I don't want to… fall into temptation anymore. That cunt will never make me forget Grace again' I concluded and stood up, dressed and lay down on the sandy shore of the lake. Better to spend the night there than in the packhouse, where I would have smelled her perfume. And his excitement.

'She is not a b***h, nor a cunt. She is our mate' Connor growled one last time before falling silent.

Unfortunately he was right: Katherine had done absolutely nothing but answer my advances, that actually were Connor's: not even her could resist the mate bond. She couldn't be blamed for anything, except that she too was a losing part in that sick game the Moon Goddess and our parents were playing with us. She didn't deserve my hatred for it: it wasn't her fault that fate had put her in Grace's place, in a place she probably didn't even want to be.

I had promised her father to make her happy: I knew that the only chance for happiness for both me and her would be to give in to the bond, but I couldn't do it. Grace was too important.

But I could at least try to avoid making her sad.

'I'll ignore her' I decided. 'From now on I will act as if she does not exist. It will be better for both of us'.

I had no idea that, all along, I was being watched by someone.

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- N