According to you

Chapter 5

High school nightmare...

Frankie

After the incident all the cheerleaders were pampering Clyde. To be honest he deserved it, she was a playboy and even in front of me ,who is supposedly his girlfriend ,were flirting with another girl. I went for music class this was the only lesson were I felt happiness. Classes like music, gymnastics, economics were all mixed classes. Here at least there were a few person who I don't say likes me, but they are not particularity bad with me. In music class we formed a band with two emo girls, and the teacher had a big announcement today. I was sitting with Cameron and Liz at the back of the class. They didn't talk to me much but we enjoyed playing together.

- Kids! Silence please! - She asked, when the class finally shut up she continued.- As you all know we will have our winter dance here in the school and I would like to encourage all of you to form a band or just do a solo and come to the auditions  for playing at the ball! - I looked at Cameron and Liz they nodded, they hated everyone but they liked music. This is my lucky day! I raised my hand the teacher cheered up and called me.

- Frankie! What would you like to say? 

- We would like to sign for the audition. -She smiled she knew that I had a great voice and according to her I would have a nice career as a singer with practice. She tired to talk about it with my "parents" but as you can imagine they didn't give a f**k about it.

- That is great! And who is we? - I stood up and showed to Cameron and Liz.

- Us three, Cameron, Liz and I. - THE FREAK TEAM! - I heard someone screaming from the front row. It was the captain of the cheerleaders Emily, my hands clenched in fists she was on my list to be beaten up one day and gave her back all this years of bullying. We were friends at first grade , but when Clyde chose me to be his girlfriend she started to mock against me. The only good thing being with Clyde was his power , so not as many people in our school bullied me  as many would've without him. But apart of that well it was miserable. He loved me at the beginning, now he just owned me like a trophy.  Lots of people in our school though that I was or a slut or some kind of witch so they tortured me always but I stand it and tried my best to stay strong.

- Emily! Where are your manners?! - The teacher asked her but she just laughed.

- Oh come on Ms Thomson! Just look at them! - The teacher looked at  us and turned back to Emily.

- I heard them play before, if you think you are better you can still try. - Emily's face turned red, Ms Thomson was the only teacher who really cared for me and appreciated my talent. I hoped that she was my adoptive mother instead of Beth...

- I know that I'm better! And we will show it right ladies? - She turned back at three almost identical girls Tamara, Tamy and Tina. They had long blonde hair blue eyes and cheerleader uniform just like Emily. Emily was a nice girl, actually she was beautiful but inside she was rotten. Her little minions nodded.

-Great! Anyone else? No? Well in three days  we will have the auditions after school and let the best win! - I heard Cameron from behind.

- Well Beasts against Clones this would be a good movie. -I laughed she had good humor. When the class ended I went to the next on or at least I wanted. Someone grabbed my backpack and pushed me against the lockers. It was Emily , they surrounded me. I was trapped between the lockers and Emily and her gang. She smirked at me and pushed me again I hit my head very badly but I didn't want to push her back. Once I did , she lied about who started that fight the director called in my adoptive parents and Carl beat me up so bad that day that my wrist broke and one of my ribs as well.

- What you want now? - I asked her and she snarled at me.

- I want to destroy you like always and remind you how pathetic are you for even trying to be somebody! You are nothing , a worthless s**t!- I smirked and looked straight in her eyes. They were cold as ice.

- In that case you have nothing to worry about right? You can just leave me be. -I tried to walk away but she grabbed my hair and pulled me to the floor. I heard someone shouting -FIGHT! - She started to kick me and I tried to crouch  in fetus pose. But she made her minions to grab my arms and legs so she could kick me better. Nobody helped me, they were all saying how weak any pitiful I am and that I deserved it. It looks like all what I deserve since I was born is to be beaten. I had enough when she said.

- You should disappear your own mother didn't want you why would a guy like Clyde or any other?! - Okay you b***h now is when I prefer Carl's belt than your words. I bit Tamy's hand she let my right arm go screaming and complaining to her boyfriend that I bit her. I quickly punched Tamara in the nose so she let my other hand go. Emily jumped on me and started to crawl my face. Rage got over me Emily was sitting on my chest but thanks to gymnastics I was very flexible. I pulled my legs in front of her chest and with that momentum I sent her to her back pushing the air off her chest for a second. I gained enough time to jump on her and slap her face before a few guys from the football team who were her admirers get me off of her and started to punch me in my stomach. After a few punches I heard a familiar voice.

- That was enough guys. She learned her lesson, lets go to class.- It was Clyde, he stared at me with disgust and left me on the hallway floor. Everybody went to their classes and I tried to recollect myself to survive the day. But at least that slut got some from me as well. If I  weren't afraid of being beaten at home I would've hit the s**t out of her. Her strength compared with Carl's was nothing but she kicked me at the same spots Carl did yesterday so it hurt like hell. What if I just stay here and die? It would be much easier. This thought went through my head may times during the last ten years of my life. I also thought about get Carl pissed of and just wait him to kill me. I clenched my teeth and tasted my own blood which came from my ripped under lip. I got up form the floor just like I did everyday and remembered myself of what Fanny said today morning on the bus.

- This is just a temporary state. - I said it loud for myself. I sighed in pain and stand up straight. - After this storm there will be a rainbow and I have to survive to see it! I went to my next class and waited this day to end. When the bell finally rang I ran as fast as I could to the bus. I sat down at the back and Clyde sat next to me. 

- Why did you hit Emily? - EXCUSE ME ?!  I shouted in my mind, what the hell? No way he said this probably I heard bad.

- What did you just asked? - He rolled his eyes.

- Why did you hit Emily? With this kind of behavior you are ruining my reputation. -Okay he is definitely some problem.

- She hit me first they were beating me up! - He crossed his arms around his chest and lifted his eyebrow.

- Really? From where I stood it looked like you were slapping her at the floor when the boys treated you.

- It is very interesting that you always see just what you want to see. And if I 'm just ruining your reputation why are you even with me? - He grabbed my arm and stinted it.

- Because you are mine. - It hurt but it wasn't unbearable. I pulled out my arm from his clench and snarled at him.

- I'm not yours! - I got up to look for another seat when he shouted after me.

- Nobody else will ever love you! I'm the only one who sees some little beauty in your beast!- His words felt like arrows in my heart he was right...No one will ever love me...This is what I got...  I sat back next to him and he gave me a peck on my cheek.

- Good girl. -He was laughing at me after that with some of his friends and I put on my earplugs and listened to one of my favorite songs. Lindsey Stirling  ft Lzz Hale - Shatter me. I loved the way the electric violin almost cried when Lindsey played on it. The violin's voice penetrated to the depths of my soul and with the song of Lizz Hale ,they took me to a place where, even if only for 5 minutes,  but I could express my pain and experience it.

I pirouette in the dark

I see the stars through me

Tired mechanical heart

Beats til the song disappears - While I  was listening  to the music I stared out o the window. I saw the river which was also close to my house. I loved the water and felt always like a fish out of it. Luckily part of the river went inside the zone Carl and Beth allowed me to leave the house when I wasn't at school.

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me!Shatter me!

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me!If only the clockworks could speak

I wouldn't be so alone

We burn every magnet and spring

And spiral into the unknownSomebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me!Shatter me!

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me!If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly

There's no one to catch me if I take a dive

I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same

The world is spinning but only in gray

If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly

There's no one to catch me if I take a dive

I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same

The world is spinning but only in gray

(Only)Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me!

Shatter me!

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me! - A tear ran down on my face as she sang these last lines. I wanted as well somebody to make me feel alive and shatter me! But I knew this is just a dream.