Siobhán’s Wrath

The Deal

“Don’t worry this place is very secure,” we settled on a round table in a luxury private room.

“I’m not worried about my reputation since I haven’t been out in public yet, you should be worried about yours,” napairap na lang ako sa kawalan.

“So, what deal? Spill it so we can get this over with,” I lazily looked at him.

“I knew it, you might somehow look innocent but you really have the rebellious thing inside of you,” and now he is accusing me? Is he for real or something?

“Just talk about the deal!” Nauubos na ang pasensya ko sa kanya.

“I can see that you are keen on talent. You are also good at observing, and uh- you really have an eye,” why is he being ambiguous?

“On point, please.” I told him.

“You help me see through those evaluations for PPOP and I’ll help you get the resources that you need, fair enough?” He looked right through me in the eye.

Napataas ang kilay ko, ”and what do you mean by those resources?”

“Projects, you will be on top prio. I can assure you that but I’m just up to giving you resources, it’s up to you whether you make it or not. You still have to go through auditions since I am not into free pass when doing a business. And in exchange, you have to help me see through those talents.”

“You have coaches in your hand, sir. While I am just a mere trainee in the company.” I pursed my lips. Because it’s true, why me when there are coaches out there?

“But they are not as keen as you do. You saw the two different performances already but the mistake that you noticed from the first performance didn’t improve the second time you see them. You might not be an expert at acting but I believe in your keenness for group talents.”

I think for a while, it’s not ethical to get ahead of others without a fair fight but in this industry, I heard such a thing is normal. Others even do it worse. If I want to move faster towards my goal then I should settle for this kind of thing.

“What do you want me to do then?” I asked.

“Just be there for every evaluation. Then after the performance tell me about your thoughts.”

“That’s all?” I verified.

“We are going to create two groups, one girl group and one boy group. Our agreement will end once both groups debuted.”

“Do we have a contract about this?”

Saglit siyang nag-isip, “nope, just a verbal agreement. Don’t worry I’m not the kind of a person who wouldn’t stand to his words. And besides are you sure you want to leave a trace about this?” Nanghahamon niyang tanong. I hate his guts but he has a point. I wouldn’t want to leave a single trace about this.

“Deal?” Inilahad niya ang kamay niya.

“Deal,” I accepted his hand.

As for the rest of the day, I spent it well by practicing.

On the day of the audition I was wearing a black baggy jeans and black top, hindi siya fitted pero hindi rin maluwang, talagang sakto lang. Hinayaan ko na nakalugay lang ang buhok ko. Nagsuot din ako ng black gloves na almost elbow ko ang haba. This outfit is giving a hot yet swag chick, which is bawal sa isang college student na papasok sa isang university kaya ito ang naisipan kong outfit. College student kasi ang character na ini-aim ko sa movie.

"Ready?" Tanong sa akin ng staff. Tumango ako, sinenyasan niya ako na pumunta na sa gitna kung nasaan ang mga huhusga kung mairaraos ko ba ito o hindi.

Surprisingly, hindi ako nahirapan sa pinapagawa nila. They made me say some scripts in English and Tagalog tapos tatlong sentence lang yata in total ang lines na ipina-acting sa akin. Is this really how this thing works?

"Siobhán," isa sa kanila ang tumawag sa pangalan ko, "did I pronounced your name correctly?"

"Yes, sir." I answered. I felt proud for him, because he got my name correctly.

"Is your manager around?" Diretso niyang tanong.

"Yes, sir. Nasa labas po."

"Can someone get her manager, please?" magalang na pakiusap nito sa staff.

Mayamaya ay pumasok na si Mickey.

"Mickey? Ikaw ang manager niya?" Parang namamangha pa ito.

"It's nice to see you again, direk Caishen," nakipag kamay si Mickey.

"Wow, hanga na talaga ako sa mga mata mo," saad ni direk Caishen. Magaling siyang managalog, I have a wild guess na Chinese siya or half? Ewan. May edad na rin si direk Caishen, I think nasa late 40's na siya.

Dinismiss na nila ako at si Mickey na raw ang kakausapin. They made me wait in the waiting room.

Halos tatlumpong minuto akong naghintay bago dumating si Mickey.

He smiled at me, “congrats,” he whispered.

I froze, “what?”

“You got it girl,” kumindat siya.

I got it…

I got it!

“Really?!” My eyes were almost a perfect circle. Tumango si Mickey at nag thumbs up.

Masaya kaming bumalik sa TalentFuse.

“This isn’t the first time na may na-experience ako na ganito. But you are one of the rare, Vawn,” palipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa akin at sa kalsada.

“Really?”

“Yep, usually…sasabihin nila na ia-update ka within 24 hours. And yeah, kailangan mo nang gumawa ng account mo pala.” Pag-iiba niya.

“Huh?” Medyo na-slow ako roon ah.

“You know, malapit nang ilabas ‘yong MV ni Calleb tapos magkaka-movie kana rin. Kailangan mo na gumawa ng IG, f*******: Page, t****k, X, and maybe Threads too?” Oh…

“Can’t I use my existing account?”

“Hindi, personal account mo ‘yon e.” Sagot niya.

“Uh- wala namang laman ‘yon na kahit anong personal,” totoo naman.

“Can you search it up for me?” Binigay niya ang phone niya sa akin. Saktong red light din. Sinearch ko ang sarili ko tapos sinauli ko sa kanya ang phone niya.

“This…yours?!” Tumango ako.

“Dummy account? Seriously?” Bahagya siyang napairap.

“Hindi ah. That’s my only account.” Simula nang gumawa ako ng f*******: ay iyon na talaga ang account ko.

“No pictures, no shared posts, and no posts at all. Don’t you have an i********:?” Tumango ulit ako. “Wala ka ring pictures doon?” Tumango ulit ako.

“Do you even have a teenager life?” Sarkastiko niyang tanong. I just shrugged. “Just make new accounts. Baka unang i-issue sa’yo ay wala kang social life,” not bad, what’s wrong with that?

Habang nasa byahe kami ay sinimulan ko nang gumawa ng mga account ko.

“Pwede bang sss, IG, t****k, and Threads na lang? I don’t really think I’ll use all of them anyway,” which is true. Nasanay ako sa Korea na KakaoTalk lang ang binubuksan.

“Fine, your choice.”

“For i********:, I wanna use shiyo.nara. Is that okay?”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ni Mickey, “not bad, malayo sa real name mo.”

“Actually my nickname when I was a kid is Shiyo. My late sister couldn’t pronounce my name properly before…Shiyobhan ang natatawag niya raw sa akin then she later on came up with just Shiyo.” I smiled as I recalled what my sister told me.

“Shiyo…that’s actually cute. What’s with the nara?” Tanong niya.

“Secret that will unfold.” I sheepishly smiled at him.

“Your sister…when did she bid her goodbye? Well…if you don’t mind,”

“Almost 2 months ago,” mabuti na lang at naka seatbelt ako dahil bigla siyang pumreno. Muntik nang umalis ang kaluluwa ko sa katawan ko.

“Just recently?! Aren’t you supposed to be recovering from grief right now?” Magkahalong gulat at pag-aalala ang nakikita ko sa mga mata niya.

If only I could tell him…pero hindi. Ayaw ko, hindi pwede. Bibigyan ko pa siya ng problema kung sakali. Mas okay na siguro na wala siyang alam.

“I am. That’s why I’m keeping myself busy. I cannot just stay at home and be depressed,” I pursed my lips.

“That…makes sense, I’m sorry.”

“OMG, CONGRATS!” Itinapon ni Valentina ang sarili niya sa akin.

“Hey, shush,” saway ko sa kanya.

“Sorry,” sabay yakap niya ulit sa akin. “Let’s follow each other on IG and uhm, what else socials do you have?”

“f*******:, t****k, and Threads,” sagot ko.

“Nice, akin na username mo dali!” So I did.

For IG, t****k, and Threads- I used shiyo.nara and as for f*******:; I used my real name which is Siobhán Fabroa.

“Kumusta ang training mo?” I asked as I took a sip of my Milk Tea. Nandito kami sa cafe, sa ground lang naman ito ng building namin.

“Kinakabahan ako sa para sa next evaluation namin. Lima na lang kami ‘di ba? Last two evaluations na lang ay lalabas na ang resulta kung sino sa amin ang matatanggal,” she sighed.

“Be confident,” saad ko. Parang pinanghihinaan kasi siya ng loob.

“Sinusubukan ko naman,” nakasimangot niyang sabi. “Hindi ko alam, I feel like there’s something to me,” she sighed again.

“Let me see you dance,” dahil marami naman akong time ngayong araw.

“May kasamang kanta na ang performance namin,”

“Okay, lemme see what you got then,” pareho kaming tumayo at pumunta sa floor kung saan ang training room nila.

Lunch time nila kaya bakante ang training room.

“Suit yourself,” umupo ako sa harapan ng salamin para makita ko ang kabuuan niya at para rin makita niya ang reflection niya from the mirror.

Hinayaan ko lang siya na mag-perform. Kilometro by Sarah Geronimo ang ipeperform pala nila. Hingal na hingal siya nang matapos. I was quiet the whole time she was performing.

“A-ano sa tingin mo?”

“Make your own pace, Tina.”

“Huh?”

“From the beginning you were giving your all, you cannot keep the same energy until the end, if you do- hingal na hingal ka naman. Maintain your own pace, breath using your nose at kapag sa tingin mo hingal na hingal kana, make a one blow using your mouth.” Seryoso kong sabi sa kanya.

“If it’s not your time to shine, don’t overdo it. If all of you are doing the same thing, linisan mo lang ang move mo rin, don’t overdo it. Kapag ikaw na ang center, tsaka ka humataw- isipin mo na ikaw lang nasa stage,” dagdag ko pa. “Break is almost done, magpahinga ka muna.”

“T-thank you, Vawn.” Nginitian ko lang siya bilang tugon.

For the following days, pinagpahinga lang ako at ikinundisyon para sa upcoming shooting na movie. Do you know what’s exciting in this movie? Ang bida pala sina Shanaia at Fabian, how interesting hindi ba? I just found out yesterday.

Tumunog ang phone ko, hudyat na may tumawag.

Unknown number

“Yeoboseyo?” I answered the call. I then realized that I’m in the Philippines. Napatampal na lang ako sa noo ko. “Oh- hello?”

“It’s me,” a deep voice said from the other line.

“Who?” Matabang sabi ko.

“Dwayne,”

WHAT? H-how did h- oh, never mind. Syempre may access siya sa files ng company and he probably got my number there. Hindi na ako nagsalita.

Narinig ko siyang tumikhim, “evaluation later, 3:30 PM.” Sabay patay niya ng tawag.

Is he crazy? Argh. I hate him.

“An hour early, nice.” Minamalas nanaman ang araw ko, dahil kasabay ko siyang nagpark sa basement. What a day.

“Coz that’s how it’s supposed to be,” I locked my car.

Ang totoo ay may pag-uusapan kasi kami ni Mickey kaya ko inagahan.

“Where are you going?” Kumunot ang noo niya nang bumukas ang elevator ay magkaiba kami ng daan na tinatahak.

“Mickey,” tipid kong sagot at hinayaan na siya sa buhay niya.

“Mem, good afternoon,” bati ko kay Mickey na abala sa buhay niya.

“Glad you’re here dahil aalis ako in 20 minutes. I’m gonna make this quick, kaya umupo ka na,” sinunod ko naman siya.

“We will hire a PA for you and a driver. Don’t worry, sa contract ay kasama na sila sa cut ng company sa bawat project mo. Now, do you want to pick on your own o kami na ang bahala?”

“Kayo na ang bahala,” but I’m glad that they are considering my choice.

“And aside from the movie that you got, the company is thinking of producing a movie where you and Damon are the main characters. First ever movie that the company will produce.”

“Wait, Damon and I? Isn’t it risky? I mean, of course I would love to but I am just a newbie…no exposure at all. Si Damon ay nagmomodel na but his fans alone cannot carry me.” I honestly said.

“I do appreciate the offer but no.” Kahit gaano ko kagusto na umadvance kaagad pero hindi ganito.

“Kung iba ang producer tapos pag-o-auditionan namin pareho ni Damon ang main role, why not?” Dagdag ko.

I heard Mickey sighed, “actually, may point ka. Maging ako ay alanganin, not that I don’t trust you pero kasi first time rin mag po-produce ni TalentFuse ng movie if ever. Hindi pa kilala kaya medyo alanganin talaga. Alright, sasabihin ko sa kanila ang response mo.”

Pagkatapos namin mag-usap ni Mickey ay dumiretso na ako sa auditorium. I messaged Valentina na manonood ako.

“Is the casting of the supposed to be upcoming movie that the TalentFuse will produce your doing?” Nanatili ang tingin ko sa harapan pero ang katabi ko ang kausap ko. Si Dwayne.

“No, did they cast you?” Ramdam ko ang mga tingin niya sa akin. Hindi pa nag-uumpisa ang performance kaya inopen up ko na sa kanya ang kanina pang bumabagabag sa isip ko.

Hindi ako sumagot.

“You and who?” Tanong niya ulit.

“Damon,”

Narinig ko siyang suminghap, he was about to say something but my phone suddenly ring. Dohyun oppa? Napatingin din si Dwayne sa phone ko. Buti na lang naka hangul ‘yon kaya hindi niya mababasa.

“Oppa,” tumayo ako pero agad na may humila sa akin pabalik sa kinauupuan ko kaya masama ang tingin ko ngayon kay Dwayne.

“The show is about to start,” sa malalim niyang boses. I thought Dohyun’s voice is already deep pero hindi ko alam na may mas lalalim pa sa boses niya, iyon ang boses ni Dwayne.

“Vawn-ah, Mianhe. Are you busy?” Si Dohyun, mula sa kabilang linya.

“Ne, oppa. Can you chat me instead?”

“Oh- ne, ne. Sorry, I was just excited. We will be having out first ever world tour…that’s why,”

“REALLY? WHEN?” Wow!

“I’ll message you the details. Take care,”

Pagkababa ng tawag ay masama kong tiningnan ulit si Dwayne.

“What? It’s about to start.”

About to start my ass!