Siobhán’s Wrath

Chapter13: Could've been us

“Vawn-ssi!” Lee Jae, who is in the same group with Dohyun- greeted me.

I bowed to him, “안녕하세요(Hello), sunbae.”

“당신이 와서! (You came!)” The other members of Xscape greeted me too.

“네(Yes)”

Their concert is done, and it was really fun. It was my first time watching them on stage, live. I cannot be seen with them outside so Dohyun’s manager let me in here in the back stage.

“How was our performance?” Dohyun asked.

“너희들은 정말 대단해! (You guys are so amazing!) I did a two thumbs up. Totoo naman, I even took a video and photos of them. I also uploaded them on my i********:. Too bad I cannot just take a photo with them right now and post it too. But it’s okay.

I had a small talk with Dohyun and the others, more on kumustahan lang naman. Kailangan na nilang bumalik sa hotel nila kaya hindi rin nagtagal ang usapan namin.

“Thank you for coming,” pasasalamat nila. I just smiled at them.

“화이팅!(Fighting)” they also wished me luck.

I was tired from the concert kaya pag uwi ko ay nakatulog ako kaagad.

Vawn, remind ko lang na sa makalawa na start ng shooting niyo ni Damon.

- Eliza

Napahiga ako ulit sa kama kahit kagigising ko lang. Oo nga pala, nakuha namin yung role ni Damian sa movie na “Amidst of the thunderstorm, I found you.” It’s gonna be my first ever movie na ako ang main character, hindi biro ang sinabak namin ni Damon just to get that movie. Kinabahan pa ako dahil unang ininform ang manager ni Damon na siya ang kukunin na main lead na lalaki. Nadismaya ako dahil akala ko hindi ako ang nakuhang leading lady because 3 days ang pagitan bago nainform si Mickey na ako ang magiging leading lady.

“Shiyo!” Niyakap ako kaagad ni Valentina.

“Tina, kalmahan mo.” Natatawa kong sabi.

“Bakit ba? Namiss kita eh. Minsan na lang tayo magkita,” she sighed. Since the day her group debuted ay naging busy na kasi siya tapos ako rin. “Date tayo minsan!”

Napataas ang kilay ko, akala mo ang daming time. “Sure, mga next year?”

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin, “Grabe ka, mga next month naman! Tell me your availability. Okay?” I just nodded.

“Tina, tara na!” Sigaw ng isang kagrupo niya.

“Ooops, practice. Bye, Shiyo. See you soon!”

Napangiti lang ako. I made my way to the auditorium dahil may evaluation ulit ngayon ang boy group. Sa pinaka likuran ako umupo, enough for me to see them.

Napabuntong hininga ako nang matapos sila. They are quite good looking but I can barely see their talent! The facial expression sucks, no control sa breathing, at halos hindi ko na makita ang galaw ng sayaw nila dahil nga masiyado silang nag focus sa facial expression nila na hindi naman tumutugma sa ginagawa nila. Cringe!

Tatayo na sana ako nang matanaw ko ang matangkad na nilalang sa harapan ko. He was seriously staring at me, uh- no. I’m pretty sure it’s a glare.

“Follow me, same place.” Si Dwayne.

When I arrived at our usual meeting place, hindi pa siya naka-order. Was he waiting for me? Tumikhim ako at umupo.

“Order what you want,” tahimik akong tumingin sa menu pagkatapos ay tumawag ako ng waiter to take our orders.

“Only bread?” nakakunot ang noo ni Dwayne.

“And pineapple juice.” Narinig naman niya, duh. Hindi naman kasi ako gutom.

“Why didn’t you reply to my messages?” Kaagad niyang tanong nang makaalis ang waiter.

“I was busy,”

“I said I was sorry.” Seryoso niyang sabi.

“Hindi naman po kailangan, sir.” Nagsosorry kasi siya dahil hindi siya nakapunta sa first evaluation habang ako ay nandoon.

Marahan niya akong tiningnan, I just shrugged. It was really nothing for me, I don’t care if he was there or not. Ang mahalaga ay nandon ako dahil tumupad ako sa usapan namin.

“My scandal…it wasn’t true.” Nagsalita siya matapos manalo ang katahimikan sa amin.

“I don’t think you should be telling me that though,” wala naman akong pakialam sa personal life niya.

“Gusto ko lang malaman mo,” he put his tongue inside his cheeks. For what? Diary niya ba ako?

“Congrats,” nagulat ako nang may kasamang cake sa inorder niya. Ang nakalagay pa ay congratulations sa ibabaw ng cake. Napatingin ako sa kanya.

“You’ve finished your first movie and you got your first main lead movie. So, congratulations,” in the past, only my sister did this to me. My mother never did.

“Thanks,” I plainly thank him.

He lit up the candle, “make a wish.” What? Naniniwala siya sa ganon?

“You should’ve make a wish,” saad niya, hinipan ko lang kasi kaagad ang kandila.

“Do you believe such things?” I shrugged and ate my bread.

“You don’t?” Umiling ako. “My mother told me it’s effective and it really is. My wish since I was a kid all came true,” you’re just privileged. Anything that he wished for since he was a kid might come true because he has loving parents and he’s an only child.

“Good for you,” tipid akong ngumiti sa kanya.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, you’ve lost your parents…” it was a sincere apology, I could feel it.

“No problem,”

Parents…naalala ko nanaman ang last encounter namin ni papa. Hindi ako naniniwala talaga na hindi niya alam kung sino ang tunay kong ama. Whoever he’s covering up, I wanna dig it. I’m still carrying his surname, I wish to change it soon.

“So, how was the performance today for you?”

“Sucks,” uminom ako ng tubig saglit. “I get that they are quite good looking but looks aren't everything. I can barely see their talent, they sucks at dancing, facial expressions are not on point, kaya ang cringe tingnan. Halos walang galaw at parang tuod na kapag pinagsabay ang kanta at sayaw. And despite of their almost nothing performance, parang malalagutan pa sila ng hininga, no breathing control at all.” Mabuti at uminom ako ng tubig dahil parang naubusan ako ng laway sa haba ng sinabi ko.

He wrote something on this small notebook. Was he taking note while I was talking?

“Thank you,” ayan lang ang sinabi niya pagkatapos niyang magsulat sa notebook niya.

Hindi ko alam kung sobrang satisfied ba siya sa feedback ko o ano, dahil sa mga sumunod na araw ay sunod-sunod ang pagkuha sa akin bilang endorser mula sa iba't-ibang brand. Hindi ko maiwasan na tawagan si Dwayne.

“The universe must be on my side since you called me?” Sa halip na hello ay ayan ang unang sinabi niya pagkasagot na pagkasagot ng tawag ko.

“Why do I have so many endorsements for this month? Did you play a trick or something?” Pagbibintang ko sa kanya.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? And nope. I just ordered the head na i-send ang profile mo, maybe you’re really getting popular these days kaya maraming kumukuha sa’yo?” So he didn’t pull some strings. Since nakuha ko na ang sagot ko ay hindi ko na pinahaba pa ang usapan namin.

Lumabas na kasi ang trailer ng I will always choose you na movie kung saan bida sina Shanaia at Fabian. Nag-increase rin ang followers ko since the trailer was out. I was satisfied with their feedback na I nailed it.

“Aella,” tawag sa akin ni Damon bilang karakter ko sa movie na shinu-shoot namin.

“Ano nanaman, Dylan?” Pagod kong tiningnan si Damon bilang Dylan.

“Gusto k-ko lang sabihin na nandito lang ako palagi,” hinawakan niya ang kamay ko, kaagad ko naman iniwas ang kamay ko.

“Oh, tapos?” Parang nawawalan ng pasensya kong sabi.

“I-ibig sabihin ay hindi ka nag-iisa…” napayuko siya.

“Even if you’re by my side, Dylan. Pakiramdam ko ay mag-isa pa rin naman ako, so what’s the difference? Just leave,” itinuro ko ang pintuan, ang set-up kasi namin ay dumalaw siya sa bahay ng karekter ko na si Aella.

“See, Dylan? That’s what my sister got.” Umepal ang kapatid ko sa movie na ‘to. Hindi ko siya tinapunan ng tingin.

“I got this, Carmella. Leave us alone,” Mahinahon ang pagkakasabi non ni Damon sa kapatid ko sa movie na ‘to.

“I warned you, Dylan. She’ll suck up your energy, ikaw rin,” pagkatapos ay umexit na si Carmella.

Si Aella kasi ay achiever, pressured because her other siblings are born talented while she has to do an extra mile just to catch up with her siblings. Si Aella ang bunso sa limang magkakapatid at siya lang din ang naiiba ang nanay sa kanilang limang magkapatid. Pero lumaki siya na kasama na ang apat niya pang kapatid pero hindi nga lang siya tanggap ng mga ‘to ng buo dahil anak siya sa labas. Ang nanay ng mga kapatid niya ay patay na habang ang ina naman ni Aella ay inabanduna siya.

“Leave, Dylan. I don’t need you here,” saad ko.

“W-why…are you pushing us away?” Damon as Dylan looks hurts.

“Dahil doon din naman papunta ‘yon, Dylan. I do not have a time to be sad when the time comes that you will leave, too.” Just like how the real me didn’t have the time to be sad for my sister because I’ve got a goal to achieve.

“I told you, I will stay!” Napasabunot siya sa buhok niya.

“That was the last word I’ve heard from my own mother too before she left me! That was the word that I’ve heard from Gina before she betrayed me! That was the last word I’ve heard from your brother before he selfishly left me!” I let my frustration out on him.

“That’s why I am here to mend for them.” Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang magkabilaang pisngi ko.

“No…I will never be worthy,” Lumaki kasi si Aella na isinaksak sa kukute niya na she will never be worthy of anything because she is a sin.

“Cut!” Sigaw ni Direk. “Nice! Nice!”

“Nice work everyone!”

“Vawn, sabay na raw tayo mamaya sabi ni Mickey. Mauuna na siya sa dinner,” Lumapit sa akin si Damon matapos niyang magbihis. Tapos na rin ako at ready nang umalis.

Magkakaroon kasi kami ng dinner, kasama lahat ng cast at nandon din daw ang investors ng movie na ‘to, and as the main leads in this movie, Damon and I have to be there.

“Alright. Meeting place…sa TalentFuse na lang,” tipid ko siyang nginitian.

Damon is a nice guy, o dahil hindi ko pa siya ganon ka kilala? He seems to focus on his career and to his fans. Nakikita ko sa mga mall shows video niya na sinasabihan siyang king of fanservice.

Umuwi ako sa condo para magbihis, for this dinner my stylist told me to dress like a young lady boss so I did. Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, I’m wearing a black slacks, while long sleeve top na may pa ribbon sa leeg, black blazer, and then two inches black heels. For the bag, channel na black sling bag naman ang natipuhan ko. This looks like I am mourning for someone. But I couldn’t deny that I really look like a young lady boss in this outfit. For my makeup, I just did light makeup just enough to show the asset of my face card.

Kung ako ay parang lady boss, si Damon naman ay parang fvck boy ang bihis. Align pa rin naman ang outfit namin, it’s just that he is giving a fvck boy aura today. Black slacks, white t-s**t ang top niya, tapos yung blazer niya ay naka tupi hanggang siko niya. His hair was brushed up, emphasizing the best feature of his face.

“You look gorgeous, Vawn,” puri ni Damon.

“Thank you, you look handsome,” pormal kong sabi.

Bahagyang tumaas ang kilay niiya, “I do?” para bang namamangha siya.

“Yep,”

“First time mo akong pinuri ah,” he chuckled. “Anyway, I know.” Ako naman ngayon ang napaawang ang bibig at napatawa.

“Conceited,” kumento ko na itinawa niya lang.

Sabay kaming lumabas ng van ni Damon, he offered his arm kaya tinanggap ko ‘yon. Camera started flushing, akala ko ba walang media sa dinner na ‘to?

“They are private photographers. Sa movie premiere pa mailalabas ang mga pictures na ‘yan.” Damon told me, na para bang nababasa niya ang nasa isip ko. Tumango lang ako.

When we arrived at the dining hall, halos nandoon na ang lahat but we are not late. Maaga lang talaga sila. I smiled at every person that I have an eye contact with, kasama na roon si sir Fred at Dwayne.

“Good evening, sir.” Bati ko kay sir Fred at Dawyne. Sinuklian ni sir Fred ang ngiti ko habang si Dwayne naman ay tango lang.

“Gorgeous as always, Vawn!” Puri ni sir Fred. Sinuklian ko naman siya ng ngiti. “And Damon, talagang bagay kayong dalawa!”

“Thank you, sir.” Pormal na pasasalamat ni Damon.

Ipinakilala kami ni sir Fred sa mga investors, dinala niya kami sa table kung saan ang mga ito nakaupo. I was smiling the whole time until I saw my father– Stanley Fabroa. Maging si papa ay nagulat nang makita ako, hindi niya ba alam na ako ang nakuhang leading lady sa movie na ‘to?

“And this is Stanley Fabroa,” pagpapakilala ni sir Fred, “Mr. Fabroa this is Ms. Siobhán Fab–,” napahinto siya when he realizes something. We have the same surname, “what a coincidence, both of you are carrying the same surname.”

“She’s my daughter,” parang nabingi ako sa binitawan niyang salita.

Nagulat din si sir Fred, maging si Dwayne at Damon ay nanlaki ang mga mata. “I thought y-your don’t have any parents anymore…?”

Tipid kong nginitian si sir Fred, “Mr. Fabroa used to be my step father sir, that's why I am carrying his surname. He left when I was seven. So technically, I do not have any parents now.” Binalingan ko ng tingin si papa at tipid na nginitian, “it’s nice seeing you again, sir.”

I saw something in his eyes, but I refused to acknowledge whatever it was.

“Daddy!” A little girl appeared out of nowhere. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang batang sa tingin ko ay 11-year old. Yumakap siya kay papa, so…it’s his daughter huh.

I excused myself and went to the restroom. Napatingin ako sa sarili ko mula sa salamin. Ang kapal ng mukha niyang ipagsigawan na anak niya ako, gayong iniwan niya naman kami!

“Okay ka lang?” Tanong ni Damon nang makabalik ako, ngayon ay nakaupo na kami sa assigned seats namin.

“Oo naman,” I gave him a smile, I hope it was convincing for him.

Hindi ko sinasadyang mahagip ng paningin ko ang mesa nila papa, ngayon ay may babae na sa tabi niya which I believe is wife now. The wife is lovingly serving her husband and daughter, the smile on the kid’s face is immeasurable.

What a happy family.

It could’ve been us if only he did not leave us. I bitterly smiled in the end.