Siobhán’s Wrath

The Beginning

“Ate Jina,” pagtawag ko sa manager ni ate. I have a crazy idea right now.

“Yes, Shiyo?”

Muli kong tiningnan ang litrato ni ate na nasa harapan ko.

“Can you be my manager?” I said as I looked at her.

“W-well, alam mo naman…hindi ako marunong mag-korean,” napakamot siya sa ulo niya.

“Hindi po sa Korea. Dito sa Pinas po,” ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kabaong ni ate. Ayaw kong makita ang reaction niya, she must’ve think that I’m going crazy.

“I want to be an actress,” that way, I can bring those people down. I will reveal their true colors. I will make them pay.

“S-shiyo…I know na malapit na ang debut mo bilang KPOP idol. Huwag mong sayangin,” she whispers, just enough for me to hear.

“My decision is firm. If you do not want to be my manager then I’ll find someone else,”

Narinig ko siyang bumuntong hininga.

“Ah…Shiyo. May mga bisita sa labas, hindi ko na makausap ng maayos ang mama mo. Papapasukin ba natin?” Si auntie Louria.

“Sino raw ho?” I asked. I ordered to the guards not to let any visitor in nang hindi ko nalalaman.

“Si Heather, matalik na kaibigan iyon ng ate mo,” anong ginagawa niya rito? Nagpapaka plastik?

“No,” mariin kong sagot. “I don’t want anyone from the showbiz here.”

Matalik na kaibigan my ass, anong drama niya?

“Think about my proposal, ate Jina.”

Dala na rin siguro ng sama ng loob ko kaya hindi na ako umiiyak. Malapit na ang libing ni ate, I didn’t do much dahil si auntie Louria ang nag-asikaso, bukod sa wala akong alam sa ganon ay ayaw kong makita ako na labas masok sa bahay na ‘to. Medias are just around the corner. Though mahigpit naman sa seguridad sa village na ‘to pero may mga iilan na taga media ang nakatira rito.

I went back to the guest room where I was staying and looked up online again.

Heather, best friend of Azzura was refused to Azzura’s wake.

Azzura’s death is not in vain.

I clicked the latter and saw the people online discussing how my sister’s death is not in vain because some people online are now sympathizing with her. I scrolled more online and saw the posts of some artists about my sister. ‘Yong mga nakasama niya sa kanyang past projects are sending their deepest sympathy. May mga iilan na nagtatangka rin na dumalo rito sa bahay but I refused them all. It was even on the news how our family is not allowing anyone from the showbiz to visit my sister’s wake.

Can’t they just respect and give us privacy? How annoying!

I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in,”

“Shiyo, ano ‘tong sinasabi ni ate Jina na gusto mo maging actress dito sa Pinas?” Ramdam ko ang pagkairita sa boses ni Paige. “You will debut soon in Korea! You spent 5 years of your life in training. Tapos uuwi ka lang dito sa Pinas para maging actress?”

“You can’t stop me, Paige.” Nakatulala ako sa kisame.

“Shiyo naman, hindi lahat nabibigyan ng pagkakataon para makapag-debut. ‘Yong iba nga ay 10 years na nagti-training pero up until now ay hindi pa nakapag debut. Tapos ikaw…” napahilot siya sa sentido niya.

“W-wait, don’t tell me you are serious about your revenge?”

I smirked.

“Shiyo naman! Revenge will lead you into nothing but distress!”

“Then maybe I’m not getting revenge? I want justice,” I looked at her.

“Justice for what? Ate Azzura committed a suicide! It was her own decision.” Mariin niyang sabi.

“But those people made her choose that decision of hers! If only they could’ve been nicer!” Pagalit kong sabi.

“Shiyo, ano ba ang alam mo? Hindi mo alam ang nangyayari. Parte iyon ng showbiz.” Parang napapagod na siyang magpaliwanag sa akin.

“I may not know what’s going on, but I know there is something wrong about this whole thing.”

“Galit ka lang, Shiyo.” Sagot niya ulit.

“Sana nga, Paige. Sana nga galit lang ako.”

I was woken up by a call. Dohyun is calling, tiningnan ko ang oras. 2AM, it’s 3AM now in Korea so I’m pretty sure he should’ve been asleep by now.

“Yeoboseyo? (Hello?)”

“Vawn-ah, I’m sorry to wake you up but the guard here at the gate needs a verification so…I have to call you.”

“What?” Napabangon ako. Gumalaw ng kaunti rin si Paige. Yes, magkatabi kaming natulog. Since I get in here, dito rin siya natutulog kahit na may pasok siya sa school.

“I’m here outside your village,”

What, WHAT?

“Sor-,” I cut him off.

“What if someone recognizes you?” I massaged my temple.

“I’m not popular so I th-,” I cut him off.

Not popular my ass, they made it on top of the Melon Music Awards.

I groaned, “I’ll call the guard there, make sure you are wearing a mask, cap, and sunglasses!”

Kahit pa gabi, mas mabuti nang sure. The least that I want to do right now is ruin his career. Kinuha ko muna ang plate number ng sasakyan niya bago ko ibinaba ang tawag para tawagan ang guard sa gate.

Hindi ako mapakali habang nag-aabang sa harapan ng bahay namin. Titig na titig ako sa pagbubukas ng gate ng bahay namin, as I have expected, kasama niya ang manager niya.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re coming?” Medyo nairita pa ako.

“I did, before you left?” Patay malisya niyang sabi.

“Well, you didn’t tell me that it’s gonna be today!”

“I’m sorry, ‘kay?”

Bago kami mga sagutan pa ay pinapasok ko na sila sa loob. I greeted his manager too. Si auntie ang sumalubong sa amin, ipinakilala ko na rin sila kay auntie Louria.

“She’s still young,” Dohyun commented as we were both staring at my sister’s coffin.

“Hmm,” tumango ako.

“It must be hard for you.” Tinapik niya ang balikat ko.

It is.

“Sunbae…” I called him out.

“We are not inside the company, Vawn-ah,”

“Oh, yeah. Oppa,” I sighed as I looked away. “I want to be an actress,”

“A-are you sure? It’s gonna be a new whole training if you will switch to acting. Besides, you will debut in 6 months. You can pursue acting while being in your group you know,” He didn’t get what I was saying.

“I want to pursue acting here,” he was stunned and looked puzzled. “Philippines, oppa.”

“No you’re not,” umiling siya at hilaw na napatawa.

“Yes, I will.” I firmly said.

“Vawn-ah. Aren’t you being impulsive?” His brows furrowed.

Hindi ako sumagot. I maybe impulsive but I am firm with my decision.

“What about your group? You can’t abandon them just like that,” the irritation is evident from his voice.

“I am not abandoning them. We haven't debuted yet and I will properly bid my goodbye to them.” Napayuko ako. This sounds selfish but I really want to do this.

Dohyun stayed for an hour before leaving the country again. I appreciate him coming over here because I know how hectic his schedule is.

Sa araw ng libing ni ate, nasa likuran lang ako. I was wearing a white cap, sunglasses, and white facemask. Puti kasi ang suot ng lahat ngayon para sa libing niya. Sa halip na nasa harapan ako kasama ni mama ay mas pinili ko rito sa likuran dahil alam kong hindi malabong walang pictures na kakalat. I don’t want to be photographed here. Bukod sa I shouldn’t be in public because I am still a trainee, ayaw ko rin na malaman ng iba na kapatid ko si ate. It would ruin my plans.

The same day of my sister’s burial I left the country. Dahil marami akong aasikasuhin sa Korea.

Just wait, ate. I’ll be back to avenge you.

“Vawn-ah. I understand your grief but how about us? We’ve been through this since day 1,” kita ko ang disappointment sa mga mata nila.

My girls, we’ve been together for so long. I can’t believe I have to leave them.

“We will debut in six months. Finally, after so many years…but you want to waste the opportunity?” Si Binna, hindi ako sumagot.

“You are being selfish, Vawn.” Si Aera, siya ang pinaka-close ko sa lahat. I looked at her apologetically.

I’m sorry.

“I really want to respect your decision, Vawn-ah. But I just can’t. You are our legendary center, we are excited to make history with you. I want to make history with you. You worked so hard so you could debut.” Napayuko ako. Hindi ko na ipinaglaban ang sarili ko dahil maging ako ay guilty sa desisyon ko.

Pero siguro ay panandalian lang ito. Makaka move on din ako, I have to let them go dahil may bago akong goal.

“If you badly want to be an actress then let us debut together first. Then pursue your acting after, you can do both Vawn,” si Larisa, pareho sila ng ideya ni Dohyun.

Pero ayaw ko, lalo na’t gusto kong maghiganti. Ayaw kong idamay sila sa mga gagawin ko, ayaw kong bahiran ang pangalan ng magiging grupo namin.

“I will pay the compensation, sir.” I told the chairman. I have a contract with them and I am breaching the contract by leaving so I have to pay.

“Vawn-ssi. You might want to think this over, please.” Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kay Chairman Choi. He was so kind to me pero ito ang igaganti ko sa kanya.

“My decision is final, sir.”

“You are a big loss to us, Vawn-ah…” pumikit ako nang mariin.

I’m really sorry, sir.

“I’m sorry…” I uttered. “I’m really sorry, but I have to do this. I have to avenge my sister. I want to clear her name. I want her to rest in peace with a clean name.” Napayuko ako. I can’t tell this to my co-members but I want to at least let the chairman know.

Iniangat ko ang tingin ko hanggang sa magpantay ang tingin namin ni chairman Choi, “I’m sorry chairman but this is the least that I could do for my sister,” revenge.

Matagal siyang nanahimik bago mag salita, “Okay. You don’t need to pay for the compensation of breaching the contract. We will wait for you,”

“B-but it will take time, the girls deserves to-,”

He cut me off, “Who says they won’t debut in six months? They will. But this home will always be open for you once you are done with your business there. We will wait for you, Vawn-ah.”

Umalis ako sa Korea na masama ang loob ng mga kagrupo ko. I can’t blame them but they can’t blame me also.

“Pwede ka pang bumalik, you know? Buong araw ka na yatang mukhang lugi,” si Paige. Muli akong bumuntong hininga.

Iniwan ko ang pangarap ko. Masakit sa akin pero walang mapaglagyan ang sakit na ‘yon dito sa puso ko.

“I want an agency that is not popular,” I changed the topic. Saturday ngayon kaya walang pasok si Paige sa school. Kaya naman nakitambay ako ngayon sa condo niya rito sa Maynila. Sa UST kasi siya nag-aaral kaya ibinili siya ng condo ng parents niya malapit sa university.

“How are you going to secure a big project if you’re not going to get in a popular agency?” Umirap siya bago ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa niya.

“I’ll miss my chance if I’m going to get into a popular agency. Hindi ako ang priority.” I said, a matter of fact.

“Make sense.”