Siobhán’s Wrath

Just today

“I’m sorry for your loss. Jina…” Oh, that was thoughtful of him. “You must be shocked.”

“I am, I’ve been looking for her these past few months.” There’s just the two of us so I think it’s okay to talk about it. Lalo na’t wala naman akong ibang makausap tungkol sa ganito maliban kay Paige.

“Don’t worry about the rumors. The company will handle it.” Tumango lang ako at nagpasalamat.

“I’m heading to where you are about to go too,” napatingin ako kay Dwayne. I was about to ask why but then, anak nga pala siya ni sir Fred. Baka may meeting siya with the investors and directors.

“Ingat,” I said as we parted ways.

When I arrived at the venue, I was a bit surprised when I saw Heather.

“Hi, Vawn,” she greeted me first.

“Hello po, ate.” I smiled at her.

Yuck.

“Omg, namiss kita!” She hugged me.

Plastik.

Well, tadhana na mismo ang naglapit sa amin dalawa. Well done then. Sa sobrang abala ko ay hindi ko na nai-check nang maigi ‘yong casts ng adaptation na ‘to.

“Hindi tayo nagka-usap masyado when we first met. I heard a lot about you,” ani ni Atlas. Katatapos lang namin mag script-reading. Mestizo si Atlas at malinis siyang tingnan, he is just a few inches taller than me, at maganda rin ang built ng katawan niya.

“I hope what you’ve heard are good things.” I joked, but I think I am bad at joking dahil seryoso siya.

“Not really, also– I don’t really believe in bad rumors about you.” Napataas ang kilay ko, updated siya ah. Kung sabagay, ako rin naman. I researched about him, 2 years na siya sa industry yet hindi maingay ang pangalan niya. But sir Fred was right, he is underrated. Hindi siguro siya favorite ng company na napasukan niya.

“Won’t you welcome me?” I was caught off guard.

“Huh?”

“I joined TalentFuse officially yesterday.” Oh…

“Really? Welcome then!” I tried to strike a smile.

“You are clueless, that’s okay. Tama ‘yan, huwag kang magbabad sa social media, for your own sanity.” He was right. I should not.

Maganda ang batuhan ng linya, inumpisahan ko nang basahin sa webtoon ang kwento actually. Nang sa gano’n ay mapag-aralan ko ang bidang babae. Medyo heavy ang series na ‘to but I like how the Empress’s character was written. And guess what? Ang character ni Heather ay main rival ng character ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya pinatos ‘yong role when in fact she is into main character talaga. Or…did she audition as the main character? I don’t know.

We will start the shooting in two weeks na kaagad. 48-59 minutes per episode, ang target ay matapos ang shooting in 5 months only. Magiging hectic talaga ang schedule ko.

“Sumasakit ang ulo ko, hindi ko alam na kasali sa casts si Heather,” hinilot ni Mickey ang sentido niya nang makarating kami sa Van.

“H-hindi mo rin po alam, mem?”

“Hindi, kung alam ko lang ay sana ipinaglaban ko na ayaw mo ‘yong project,” ang akala ko ay alam niya at wala lang siyang choice dahil naka-oo na siya kay sir Fred pero talagang hindi pala niya alam. He told me before that he didn’t want any interaction with the artists of ArtiSoul. Especially to Heather, Shanaia, Steven, and Fabian.

Against nga siya nung ipinilit ko ‘yong teleserye na kasama si Heather e. He is very careful also in selecting a project for me.

“She’s into main characters, why would she take a villain role?” I blurted out.

“That’s what on my mind too,” napahilot si Mickey sa sentido niya.

On the following day I had a recording with Calleb in the studio. It went smoothly and now we are shooting for the Music Video.

Gusot-gusot at madumi ang pinasoot sa akin na dress habang presentable naman ang kay Calleb. In this scene, I will try to reach out for Calleb’s hand.

“1, 2, 3, action!”

The background music played, nasa isang abandonadong bahay ang setting namin. I was on the cold floor while Calleb was standing in front of me.

“Cut! Calleb, more emotions. Vawn, try to loosen a bit,” tumango ako.

“1, 2, 3, action!”

I looked at the cold floor first before I looked up to Calleb. I imagined him as my mother as I tried to reach for his hand.

“Cut! Nice!”

Hanngang gabi kami sa abandonadong bahay na ‘yon. Dahil may part na kailangan gabi. Bukas ang last shoot namin, sa company lang ishu-shoot ‘yon. Green screen kasi ang mangyayari.

“Good work, everyone! Good night!”

Kahit hating gabi na akong nakauwi sa condo ay chineck ko pa rin ang mailbox ko dahil baka may bills akong kailangan i-settle.

Black envelope?

My bills usually come in a white envelope. Ipinasok ko muna sa bag ko ‘yon at umakyat na papunta sa unit ko.

I was stunned when I saw flowers outside my doorstep. And it wasn’t a normal flower because the arrangement is for a funeral.

I called the concierge.

“Who let these funeral flowers up here?! Do I look dead?!” I’m really tired and this happened. Annoying!

“Funeral what?” I was stunned and checked my phone again.

D*mn it, why the heck did I dialed his number? Napasapo na lang ako sa noo ko. I must be really furious that I mistakenly clicked his number. His name starts with D, sa kanya pala ang na-click ko sa halip na concierge.

“O-oh…sorry. I thought I dialed the concierge.” Then I ended the call.

Hindi ko na natawagan ang conciege rin, pagod na ako. Hinayaan ko na lang ang bulaklak sa labas. May shoot pa ako bukas.

After I freshen up, hinanap ko ang black na envelope na nakuha ko kanina sa mailbox. Pati ang papel sa loob nito ay black din, puti naman ang ginamit na tinta panulat.

You might be their next target.

Poor Jina, she shouldn’t have escaped from me.

Azzura’s death anniversary is coming.

Should I send her the same flower?

- TRUTH

I dropped the letter on my bed. T-this person had a-ate Jina? But then…this person wasn’t the one who killed her. Then who?

Parang zombie akong naglalakad papasok ng TalentFuse dahil sa puyat. Right…malapit na ang death anniversary ni ate but what have I done so far? Wala. But at the same time, I couldn’t do anything if I didn't work so hard to be where I am today.

Habang minimake-upan ako ay umidlip ako. Totoo pala talaga yung mga natutulog na mga artista habang minimake-upan.

“Vawn, gising na…” narinig ko ang boses ni Eliza.

“Opo, ate…”

May isang room dito sa TalenFuse na ginamit namin bilang studio. Pagpasok ko sa loob ay naka set up na lahat, may kama at mga bulaklak. Tapos may malaking green screen sa likuran.

“Ayusin mo, beb. Manonood si sir Dwayne,” nagising nang tuluyan ang diwa ko. Bakit?

Tama nga si Mickey, manonood nga talaga si Dwayne. Natatanaw ko na siya ngayon malapit sa exit kung nasaan nagkumpulan ang mga cameramen at director.

Ang scene na ishu-shoot namin na una ay nakahiga ako sa kama habang nakatingin sa green screen na tila ba pagod na pagod na akong mabuhay. Ang magiging outcome ay I was trying to reach out for the moon tapos biglang magpa-pop out si Calleb.

“1, 2, 3, action!”

I did what I was told to but it feels like I wasn’t acting at all. Dahil tulala talaga ako sa kawalan.

“Nice! Nice!”

Ang susunod naman ay magkaharap kami ni Calleb, in this scene I should be in teary eye only habang magbibitaw ng isang linya.

“1, 2, 3, action!”

Mayroong tatlong metro ang pagitan namin ni Calleb. He was smiling at me. The glimpse of his smile made me imagine my sister’s smile. My sister smiles a lot, but now I cannot see her smile anymore, forever.

Saglit kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko, pag dilat ko ay camera na ang kaharap ko. “It’s hard to be here,” I tried so hard not to drop a single tear but I couldn’t hold it any longer. Sunod-sunod na nagsiunahan ang mga luha ko.

Was it really hard for you, ate? Even though you had our mother on your side?

Until the end, you took her with you.

I was jealous but I miss you now, everyday.

Parang ngayon lang nag-sink in sa akin ang pagkawala mo. I can no longer feel your presence in this world… you used to visit me every 6–8 months, right?

Where are you now?

Nang marinig ko ang hikbi ko ay napantanto ko na I was crying for real. Pero hindi nag cut si Direk. I don’t wanna be caught on cam like this so I lowered my head.

“CUT! NICE ADLIB!” Pumalakpak pa si Direk.

But I did not do an adlib.

I can’t really see you forever, ate. What do I do now?

I am feeling lost.

“Vawn…” narinig ko ang boses ni Mickey.

“J-just give me a moment please…” I uttered in between my weeping.

Argh. Why don’t you stop stupid tears!

In the end, I excused myself. Mabuti na lang at last scene na ‘yon. Ang kwento kasi ng kantang nabuo namin ay, nagpakamatay ang babae sa huli. Yung huling lyrics ng kanta na The sunset is beautiful, isn’t it? Although it means, maglelet go na ang babae…literal talaga siyang nag let go. Sa MV naman ay nung sinabi ko na it’s hard to be here, kasunod nun ay nagpakamatay na ako sa video. Tapos na namin mai-shoot ang part na ‘yon kahapon.

While I was on my way to the restroom, a hand grabbed me. Napipi ako dahil sa gulat, the man was quick to pull me into a small room.

“I told you to come to me whenever everything feels heavy,” napasinghap ako.

D-Dwayne?

Tumingala ako ng bahagya, kahit hindi gabi ay medyo madilim ang kwartong ito pero naaaninag ko pa rin ang mukha niya. His hunter eyes are looking at mine intently, I saw a foreign emotions in his eyes and for some reason it comforted me.

Hinawakan niya ang ulo ko at isinandal sa dibdib niya, “You don’t need to hold back now, I’m here.” Naramdaman ko ang hagod niya sa balikat ko.

Is it really okay to lean on someone like this?

Regardless, just today. Just for once, I want to do this. I silently cried in Dwayne’s embrace.

“Did you determine who sent you the funeral flower?” Oh, right. Saglit kong nakalimutan ang tungkol do’n.

Marahan akong umiling. Tinuyo ko na rin ang mga luha ko, baka hinahanap na ako ni Mickey. I need to go back.

“T-thank you,” I couldn’t look at him in the eyes. “I’ll go out first, maya-maya ka na sumunod.” Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya. Kaagad na akong umalis.

“Good job, everyone!”

“Thank you, Vawn.” Pasasalamat sa akin ni Calleb.

“Salamat din. It was nice working with you again,” I smiled at him.

“Congratulations,” kumunot ang noo ko kay Calleb.

“Huh?”

“You won a best rookie actress award! Omg!” Biglang sumulpot si Mickey na ikinagulat ko.

“O-oh…” that was all I could say. Dahil hindi man lang ako na-excite.

I rather felt guilty. Because I am only doing this for my own desire.

I’m sorry, mem.

“Congrats, Vawn.” Napatingin ako kay sir Fred. Nandito pala siya.

“Congrats,” si Dwayne.

Napasalamat ako sa kanila.

“Let’s have dinner later.”

Mickey nudged me, maybe because I was silent.

“Y-yes, sir.” I smiled awkwardly.

Tulala ako habang tinitingnan ang sarili ko sa salamin. I’m wearing this casual beige dress, paired with brown sandals. Sponsor lang ito sa akin, actually.

“Vawn, tara?” aya sa akin ni Eliza.

“Susunod na ako ate,” nauna na siyang bumaba ng van.

Dito sa Grand Hyatt ang dinner namin. Turns out, we will be staying here tonight– treat daw sa amin ng company because I won an award. This place is really high-end, what do I expect? Eh 5 star hotel ito. Speaking, bakit hindi na lang sa hotel nila Dwayne kami, ‘di ba? Anyway, that’s out of my concern.

“Good evening, sir.” Naunang bumati si Mickey, I checked my wrist watch. We are not late, maaga lang sila.

“Have a seat,” ang bakanteng silya lang ay sa tabi ni Dwayne at ang kasunod na upuan. Pinauna pa ako ni Mickey kaya magkatabi kami ngayon ni Dwayne. The table is round, at medyo familiar itong nasa harapan ko na lalaki na ngayon ay nakatitig sa akin.

“By the way, please meet Mr. Conan Serbio. From now on, he will be sponsoring clothes for you, Vawn. Family business niya ang GL clothing.” As far as I know ay nangunguna ngayon dito sa bansa ang GL, ang alam ko ay may mga bags din sila at sandals. Tatak Pilipino ang brand niya and is about to be international soonest.

I tried so hard remembering his face because he is familiar.

“Good evening, sir Conan,” pagbati ko. He looks like he’s around sir Fred’s age.

“We meet again, good evening.”

Again?

“You two have met?” Tiningnan ako ni Dwayne. Alanganin akong tumingin sa kanya, because I’m not sure.

“Sa Garden Towers, we bumped into each other there. I was visiting my daughter that time.” We bump…oh!

That was him?

“Oh…that was you po pala. You mistook me for someone else that time, I guess.” He acted like he knew me that time. Kahit hindi naman.

“Yeah. I did, I’m sorry.”

“No worries, that happened.”

For the rest of the dinner ay halos sila-sila na lang ang nagsasalita. I got a little goosebumps because I occasionally caught sir Conan staring at me.

“Hey, dad!” A lady kissed sir Conan’s cheek.

“Good evening, tito. Hi, Dwayne!” Oh…so, magkakakilala na pala sila talaga. Formalities lang na pinakilala sa akin si sir Conan.

“Hey, Ciara.” Nakipag beso si Dwayne kay Ciara, ganoon din si sir Fred.

“Ang bilis ng panahon, parang kailan lang ay nagbabangayan pa kayo ni Dwayne, hija.” Kumento ni sir Fred.

“Oo nga e, ang bilis ng panahon. We are not getting any younger.” Sir Conan sighed. Nag-add ng panibagong upuan sa tabi ni sir Conan. Malawak naman itong table kaya kasya pa.

“Hi! I saw you on TV! Can we take a picture?” Binalingan ako ni Ciara.

I was caught off guard, “O-oh, sure!” I smiled.

“Anak, mamaya na.” Suway ni sir Conan.

“It’s okay,” tumayo ako at bahagyang umikot para magkatagpo kami ni Ciara. We took some photos together. Pagkatapos ay bumalik bumalik na ako sa kinauupuan ko.

“Wow, you’re prettier in person!” Ang taas ng energy niya.

“T-thank you,”