Fighting for her (Novak series #1) {Completed}

16. Out and about

Hope’s POV

When I wake up, my head is pounding, and it feels like someone is standing with a drill on the inside. “Ugh, I’ll never drink again,” is the infinite mantra we keep telling ourselves every time the hangover is visiting. Even though we’re preparing that with alcohol comes the hangover, we’re equally surprised every time it happens for some reason.

Are we humans so ignorant that we refuse to accept hangovers as a consequence of an active choice? Unfortunately, this is probably the case, and it’s not only pathetic but also tragic. No matter how it is, the headache exists, and my body feels numb. I grunt to myself and slowly sit up.

No matter how much I’d like to stay in bed all day, there’s no possibility. To begin with, I’m going to work, and besides, my bladder is screaming at me that it’s time to ease the pressure. With my creaking joints, I rush into the toilet to take care of the problem before there’s an accident.

I’m too hungover to care what I look like today. Hence I change my underwear before throwing on a pair of cotton shorts and a thick shirt that’s far too big. My hair is in all directions, and I’ve got smeared makeup all over my face, but as I said, I don’t care. It’s morning, and Mrs. Novak can party, believe me!

We had great fun last night, and I’m glad I went with her after all. She arranged a banana cocktail and a striptease for me while I was in the bathroom. Talk about that I was surprised not only to swallow a banana but also to have one swinging back and forth in front of my eyes. Not that I’m complaining, the man in question was very good-looking, however nothing for me.

No, he really wasn’t my type. On the other hand, I’m not even sure I have a type. Darby is also not my type; despite that, he circulates in my head at regular intervals like a menstrual cycle. However, it is nicer than having periods, of course. But it also complicates things. Above all, it makes me super confused.

Stop it, Hope! Darby was cute yesterday, and you had fun with Mrs. Novak, but now it’s time to go back to your everyday life. It’s time to stop daydreaming about something that won’t happen. I sigh loudly and walk down the stairs towards the kitchen, which sounds as if a whole herd of elephants is in there.

“Hope!” Mrs. Novak exclaims happily as if we didn’t drink a ton of liquor the day before, and I rub my temples. “Oh, are you hungover, honey?”

“How can you not feel shitty right now after all the shots yesterday?” I ask, confused, and accept the cup of coffee that Noah puts on the kitchen counter for me.

“I have a very high tolerance, which you don’t, obviously,” she points out, and I slowly shake my head. “Poor little one! I think it would be best if you had greasy bacon and a pain reliever. Are you sure you can handle Mila today?”

“It’s all right, and I can handle it. Just let me get to wake up first,” I reply, and she nods happily. “Where is she anyway?”

“She’s upstairs. You can pick her up if you want.”

I take a sip of the coffee and get up to wake Camilla. My body feels even stiffer than before when I slowly manage to persuade my body to actually move in the direction I want it to. Carefully I open the bedroom door and peek in to ensure Darby isn’t there.

“Good Morning, little queen,” I say low to Camilla, who just opens her eyes. “How are you today?”

I lift her and try to wake her up without risking screams from hell. After a little while, she opens her eyes entirely and smiles at me when our eyes meet. I kiss her forehead, and her giggles make my heart beat a little bit harder. After all, child laughter is one of the most beautiful things in our cold world.

Suddenly someone opens the door to the contiguous bathroom, and I stiffen as I see Darby standing in front of me with a white towel around his waist. Water drips down over his well-trained abs, pleading to me to lick them up, one by one. Finally, my gaze reaches his face, and my cheeks become warm when I see the grin on his lips.

“I’m really sorry!” I exclaim, embarrassed. “Mrs. Novak said I could go up here and get Camilla. I took for granted that you had already gone to work.”

He chuckles at my rambling and shakes his head slowly. The brown curls hanging down in his eyes splash water in all directions by the movement. Camilla reacts as usual to her dad’s voice and bounces happily in my arms. Darby walks up to me and kisses his daughter on the forehead before turning to the closet.

“It’s all right, Hope,” he says without turning around. “But if you don’t want to watch as I drop this towel and use my birthday suit, I suggest you go back down again.”

I hurry out the door, and his laughter follows me all the way. Mrs. Novak grins when I enter the kitchen, and I realize that she was well aware that her son was in the shower. What’s the matter with this family and being happy when I get embarrassed by everything they expose me to?

“Did it go well?” Mrs. Novak asks with a knowing smile on her lips, and I sit down on the barstool by the kitchen counter without looking at anyone else. “Was he still at home?”

“You knew very well that he still was home, standing in the shower,” I mutter, and she giggles hysterically as my cheeks get warmer.

“Damn, mom, you’re evil,” Noah laughs and gets a flick on his ear as a result.

“Nurture your language when children are present!” she growls low, and Noah laughs even more.

“She’s right, though,” Mr. Novak says suddenly. “You two need to stop pretending that there’s no interest between you and discuss the elephant in the room.”

“I agree!” Noah exclaims. “It’s pathetic actually to see Darby follow you room to room like a sad puppy with separation anxiety.”

“Be kind to your big brother!” Mrs. Novak says, flicking her son on the ear again before turning to me. “But seriously speaking, Hope, what’s stopping you from taking the chance? What is it that scares you?”

What scares me? Everything! Every little detail of this situation scares me in more ways than I dare even admit to myself. I know I dwell on the same things repeatedly, but can you really blame me? Everything I know about relationships from adults around me isn’t exactly trustworthy.

When I was growing up, I watched and learned from my parents’ relationship. Hence my picture of connections is twisted compared to a “normal” person’s. To make a long story short, I simply don’t know how to do it. My knowledge of how a relationship should work is probably the opposite of what Darby’s are.

Our differences in such simple things as views on family, relationships, and stability are what scares me. Because if I really give my all, one hundred percent, on a relationship that later turns out to be utterly dead, then I’m not sure if my heart would survive that pain that comes with it.

Just look how it ended with Freddie. Although I work as a human being today, it took me a long time to get back. This was mainly because I belonged to a reality that I didn’t want to accept as mine. Emotional trauma leaves traces you can’t even dream of understanding if you haven’t lived through that pain yourself.

I don’t mean to sound pretentious or hostile, but rather try to be realistic. If you break a plate, you can glue it back together, but it’ll never be exactly as it was again. The same principle applies to heartache, and it creates wounds that, over time, heal. However, the scars remain as a reminder of what pain you survived.

Then what’s my point with this? That I’m simply afraid to give someone that power over me again. If I give Darby my heart, he also has the ability in his hand to do what he wants with it and could get the idea of crushing it into a thousand pieces. Who will be there to help me pick up the pieces?

Last time I got to do it alone, with Jessie’s support, of course! The problem, however, is that I’m not capable of suffering that way again. I’d rather be single for the rest of my life. The truth is too heavy for me to express to the Novak family waiting for an answer, which makes me feel ashamed that I’m not being honest.

“I don’t know,” I answer, smiling sadly.

Mrs. Novak is about to say something when Darby comes into the room and looks around in confusion. I sincerely hope that no one says anything about this conversation now because I don’t think I could cope with that embarrassment too. Darby looks at me, and when I look into his beautiful eyes again, I think he might be worth the risk anyway.

“Good morning, what’s this weird mood?” he asks and scratches his head thoughtfully.

“Nothing, we just gave Hope some life lessons!” Mrs. Novak replies as if it’s a valid explanation.

“I have no idea what that means,” he replies, pouring coffee into a cup.

“You don’t have to know either. What I want to know, though, is what your day will look like? Hope is just starting to heal, and I don’t want her to overexert herself too soon.”

“I was just about to tell you that,” Darby says, and our glances meet yet again. “Hugo called, and his son is sick, which means the workshop is closed today.”

After Darby’s declaration, everything moves very fast. Noah grins and is about to say something when he’s interrupted by his mother, who quickly shoo everyone up to the upper floor because time is running out. I stand with Camilla in my arms and watch as the family hurries out the front door.

The atmosphere that prevails is tense and almost embarrassing between us. At least that’s how I experience it, which, however, doesn’t have to mean that it is, but rather that our previous conversation is frightening me. Darby clears his throat and enters the living room with two cups releasing steam that slowly rises.

“I don’t know what you two are usually up to during the day, but I promise not to get involved too much. Even though I’m home today, you’re still in your workplace during working hours. If it’s too much, let me know. I’m sure I can find something else to do,” he says nervously and sits down on the couch.

The fact that he also feels the apparent nervousness allows me to calm down a little, which is also much needed as I tend to end up in some kind of tongue tie when I get nervous and can’t talk. Suddenly Darby caresses my cheek, and I come back to reality with a jerk.

“This scares the s**t out of me to admit, but I have to get it out of me. You don’t have to do anything but listen, okay?” he asks, and I nod slowly. “I don’t know if it’s obvious to you or not, but I’m attracted to you. Every time you enter a room, it’s as if you bring in a heat that was missing before. That’s why I’ve concluded that even though this scares the s**t out of me and probably you too by your reaction to judge, I want to give it a shot. You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, but Hope, would you like to go on a date with me?”

I blink and breathe, but that’s basically the only thing my short-circuited brain is capable of doing at the moment. Wait a minute here now; a man who looks like a God and has a fantastic personality is interested in me. Me! The joy spreads in the chest while the anxiety rolls in. Even so, I know I’ll regret it if I don’t dive into this sea of emotions.

“Darby,” I begin, and he looks at me, horrified. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

He immediately relaxes and smiles big before leaning forward to hug me. I answer the hug and say a silent prayer that I remember how to swim because I’m not prepared to drown if this goes wrong.

A/N:

Hello everyone!

As many of you know, my grandmother has unfortunately passed away, and the funeral is this Friday. I got temporary employment about three weeks ago, just a day after discovering the death. I haven’t had the opportunity or the strength to write because there has simply been too much going on at the same time. Now the employment is over, and I can focus a little more than before. After the funeral, hopefully, I’ll be able to update better again.

~ How do you think the date will be?

~ Will the date go well or bad?

~ How do you think the story will unfold?

A comment or two wouldn’t be wrong. Hugs and kisses!