Fighting for her (Novak series #1) {Completed}

15. The Winston charm

Darby’s POV

I don’t know why I did what I did in the living room. Or, well, I know exactly why. It’s just that I’m too cowardly to admit it and went on pure instinct when I kissed Hope’s forehead. The truth is simple. Hope means a lot to me, and since she got ambushed, our relationship has developed even more.

I’m not really a big talker, but rather prefer to observe, just like Noah. Caleb talks a lot usually, or at least he used to. If it’s not with the family, Noah is the silent observer, and I guess I’m something in between the two. But with Hope, I haven’t been able to talk much at all.

That’s mainly because I’ve noticed that every time I open my mouth, something stupid comes out that makes me look like the biggest dork in the world. Just look how it went when she forced her little brother to help her down the stairs. What was the first thing I asked when we were alone? If she wanted to tell me more about her melons... Oh my god, shoot me now.

Usually, I’m a charmer, and I’ve never really had any significant problems getting to partake in a lot of elegant ladies. With Hope, it’s different. Every time she looks at me, it’s like all the air moves out of me, and she’s the only thing remaining. When she laughs, it’s like she’s breathing air into my life, air that I desperately need to survive.

I’ve begun to look forward to coming home after work, and it’s no longer just to meet my daughter but also Hope. My wish is that we would live in a house together, with my daughter and hopefully some more children. Maybe even a dog or two.

Sit in front of an open fire together in the winters with hot chocolate, lounging in the pool during hot summers, making love in the nights, waking up next to her every morning, but most of all, that she wants to be with me forever. Even though it’s a fantastic feeling, it also scares the s**t out of me.

When I think about it, my insecurities come in and destroy the daydream that’s amazing in my head. What if she doesn’t feel the same? How can I persuade my heart to stop being broken if she doesn’t choose me? But most importantly, how can I stop loving her?

Yes, you read correctly. I don’t know when or how it happened. But somewhere along the way, I fell in love with Hope, and I don’t know how to make it stop. My family seems to think Hope, and I would be perfect together, so do I. The only problem is that she won’t choose me—a beautiful and strong woman like her needs stability.

Damn, my daughter deserves better too. I know that my uncertainty is saying all these things and that it isn’t really true. My family loves me, and Camilla’s face shines like a sun every time she sees me, indicating that I have to do at least something right. At the same time, it’s a hard feeling to keep these thoughts in your head all the time.

Not about Hope; I prefer to have them there permanently. But the darkness that seeps in when I least expect it and destroys the beauty that my disturbed brain builds up. I don’t know how to stop thinking of Hope or if I even want to. If I could somehow know what she feels when she looks at me, then everything would be much easier.

Had I been able to know with hindsight whether she’s interested or not, I would have also been able to make an educated decision after that. But now I have no answer and every day I get more confused, without any idea about which way I should move to find a way out. Damn, I need a psychologist. I prefer Sammie, if I may choose.

Who’s Sammie? She was my and my brothers’ best friend from when we could talk. We did everything and have always been together. At least we did, until the same year that I left, she disappeared. She moved out of here without even saying goodbye, and I don’t know why; it never made sense.

There were rumors that she and Noah had a big fight at the prom, but I have no idea if it’s true or not. Given all the other s**t going on inside my brain during that time, I didn’t focus very much on it and chose to leave instead of standing for what I’ve done wrong.

I may ask Noah someday when my brain is no longer roaring with Hope in my thoughts. With Camilla in my arms, I sit down on the bed with a sigh. My daughter looks up at me as if she’s trying to understand what’s wrong without being able to ask. I smile a little and caress her cheek.

“Promise me you’ll never grow up and get this confused,” I say quietly, hearing someone chuckle at my bedroom door.

“It’s easier said than done, believe me,” dad says and smiles at me with love in his eyes. “If I had the choice, none of my children would ever have to be confused or feel bad. Unfortunately, that’s not a choice you can make as a parent, even if you want to.”

“I can always hope,” I reply, and he laughs again.

“You can,” he says, looking a little more serious. “How are you really? You’ve seemed strange the last couple of days.”

“I don’t know,” I answer and sigh; it feels like that’s what my days are all about, sighing.

“What is it you don’t know?”

“How to love someone,” I whisper while hearing him close the door before sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Talk to me. What’s going on in your head?”

“Given what I blurted out down there earlier, I guess you all understand by now that Hope means a lot to me,” I reply, and he nods slowly. “I haven’t had a normal, steady relationship before. Over the years, the girls I’ve met have either been one-night stands or junkies. The only thing that comes close to a relationship at all was what I had with Melissa, and that was anything but stable.”

“I understand the feeling. In fact, I was the same at your age, and I wish I could say it gets less confusing, but then I’d be lying. Once upon a time, I was married,” dad explains, and I look at him wide-eyed. “Yes, that was before I met your mother. It was my dad who paired me up with Laura, and since I had a crush on her, I agreed to the marriage. To make a long story short, she wasn’t the woman in my life, and I didn’t love her the way I thought I did.”

“How did you find out?” I ask, and he smiles warmly.

“I met your mother and fell head over heels,” he replies, and I smile back. “When you love someone, you know. How did it feel the first time you met Hope?”

“How am I supposed to remember that? That was forever ago.”

“I mean, of course, when she came here now, in adulthood.”

I think back to when I met her in the kitchen her first day as Camilla’s nanny, and I get all hot inside. She was so beautiful as she stood there, with my daughter in her arms, singing to her as if Camilla were her own. A smile breaks out on my lips, and dad starts laughing.

“There you have your answer, my boy,” he says, ruffling my hair as if I’m still seven years old. “You’re in love with Hope.”

Yes, the truth is that I’m actually in love with Hope, and it doesn’t matter what someone else says. There’s nothing that can change that. Except if she tears the heart out of my chest, throws it down on the ground, and jumps on it as Melissa did. The smile quickly disappears on my lips, and the sadness takes over instead.

“However, it doesn’t matter if I’m in love with Hope or not, if she doesn’t feel the same way,” I say, and dad puts a hand on my shoulder.

“I can’t answer if she’s in love with you, Darby, even if I wish I could,” he begins. “What I can say, however, is that it’s obvious to everyone except you, for some reason, that she’s at least attracted to you and that there’s a certain interest on her part. So why don’t you do anything about it?”

“What am I supposed to do, you mean?”

“Well, since the interest is there for both of you, only one thing remains to be done. Turn on the Winston charm and ask her out, of course!”

“The Winston charm?” I ask and laugh.

“All my boys have it; you got it from me,” he replies proudly. “Seriously though, ask her out before anyone else does. As you said, Hope is a beautiful woman, and I can guarantee that more men will discover that. If you’ve already decided that you want to try with Hope, take the chance before it’s too late.”

“Have she and mom come back yet?” I ask and get up hastily from the bed, ready to run down the stairs to take Hope in my arms.

“No, and given what your uncle told me a while ago, it’ll probably be a while before they come back,” he sighs.

“You sent someone anyway, even though mom is against it,” I point out, and he nods.

“Your mother is capable of taking care of herself and protecting others; hell, she’s probably the scariest of us all. But what she doesn’t understand is that she doesn’t have to take care of herself when we’re more than happy to do it for her.”

“I promise not to say anything,” I say, grinning.

“I appreciate that!” he laughs. “Even though we don’t plan on having any more babies, I prefer to keep my balls intact, and if your mother finds out about this, she’s going to want them served on a platter.”

We laugh together because we both know it’s true. Just like dad says, mom is probably the most capable of us all, but that doesn’t automatically mean she has to ignore the support system that she has here at home. I don’t think that she does either, but instead prefers to get it done herself, then she knows in all cases that it’ll be right.

“Mila is sleeping. Put her in the crib and come down to have a beer with us,” dad says and walks out the door.

I get up from the bed and slowly start walking around with Camilla, cradling her in my arms to ensure she doesn’t wake up when I put her down. Thankfully, she sleeps deeply and doesn’t react at all when I pull up covers to cover her little body. I caress her cheek gently before stepping out of the room and closing the door quietly behind me.

The first thing I see when I come down is Jessie and Fransiscus sitting on the couch with their phones, laughing. I’m glad to see the boys become good friends. From what Hope told me, Jessie doesn’t have a lot of real friends, and since Fransiscus doesn’t have either, this is a perfect solution.

Caleb sits in an armchair and looks as sour as usual when I enter the room but chooses not to say anything. On the other hand, Noah shines like a sun and pats the seat next to him on the couch to indicate that I should sit down, which I’m happy to do. At least one of my brothers enjoys my company.

“All right, boys, let’s do this,” dad says, handing us a beer each before taking one of the controls in his hand. “Which one of you wants to be beaten first in Fifa?”

Noah and I laugh at dad’s enthusiasm while Caleb shakes his head but takes the control when he gets it. We look intensely at the screen and see how Caleb’s grin gets bigger every time he scores. In the end, dad loses big by five two and looks grumpy. I try to keep myself from laughing, but it turns out to be very difficult.

“I don’t understand how you do it; you must be cheating!” dad exclaims.

“I don’t understand why you’re always this surprised,” Caleb replies, amused. “Considering this happens every time.”

Dad is about to answer as the door flies up and two very drunk women stumble into the living room. However, mom seems to be more intoxicated than Hope, given that she hangs on Hope, who’s trying to support her. I hurry up as my dad does. A single glance, and we each lead a woman into the house.

I help a giggling Hope into the guest room she now sleeps in after promptingly declaring that she didn’t want to occupy my bedroom anymore. Before I have time to say anything, she shrugs off her dress, and God, save my soul, I feel like a teenage boy getting his first boner ever.

Hope has curves that any woman could kill to get. Round, bulging breasts that appear to be about to fall out of her red lace bra, and a skimpy, matching thong that covers the essentials reasonably but shows off her shapely ass in all its glory.

“f*****g hell, Hope,” I whisper, helping her to bed.

Although she’s very vocal about going to bed, she falls asleep before her head hits the pillow. I sit down gently on the edge of the bed and caress her hair. Please, Hope, love me the way I love you and hold me tight. We can live and do whatever you want, as long as we’re together. Because without you, there’s no me.

A/N:

Hello everyone!

Aw, it seems like Darby is finally accepting that he actually loves Hope. The only question is whether he’ll be man enough to tell her.

~ What do you think of his reasoning?

~ Is he stupid or sweet in his thoughts?

~ What do you think of the chapter as a whole?

As usual, I’d like to ask you to leave a comment. If I offer you books for free, which you also appreciate, you can at least leave a few words in the comment section for me, right? <3