20. Forcing the truth
2129 Words
Hope’s POV
It feels like my heart is going to break. Jessie, the most important person in my life, doesn’t want to know about me, and it’s my fault. I should’ve been honest with him about his biological father. The reason I never said anything is because I wanted to protect him from more headaches than a fourteen-year-old should have.
Being a teenager is complicated enough, and I didn’t want to contribute to even more problems. In fact, I was often about to tell him the truth. But each time, I asked myself the same question: What difference does it make? None of us know Jessie’s father, except our mother, and I don’t know where she is either.
If Farris had only been able to shut up and not told it at the stupidest moment, he could think of, then this wouldn’t have happened. I had intended to tell Jessie, but not until he was older and could handle it independently. Now, in any case, it doesn’t matter, because now he knows and he’s mad at me for it.
I have to solve it, but I don’t know how to do it. The only thing I can think of is finding out who the man with whom our mother had a child is. The only problem is that I can’t do it without knowing her whereabouts, and the only one who possibly might know that is Farris. I have to go back to the hospital and get him to tell me one way or another.
If it’s not enough to ask him, I’ll force it out of him. We owe Jessie the truth, and he didn’t deserve us lying to him. If my little brother no longer wants to be with me, that’s okay, and maybe he would be better off without me anyway. But in that case, I want to give him one last thing before I let him be, and that’s his dad’s name.
I park the car outside the hospital with heavy breaths and hold the steering wheel convulsively while tears roll down my cheeks. Damn it! It hurts so much to think of Jessie’s words while I can’t do anything about it. He’s hurt, and I’m the cause. One way or another, I’ll repay it; I have to.
The nurse who overheard me and Farris’s conversation earlier gives me a sad smile as I walk by but gratefully chooses not to comment on what she must’ve heard. I knock on the door and wait to open it until I hear Farris shout that it’s okay to come in. He looks much smaller than when I was here before, as if he has become a child.
The monster I once feared to some extent, turns out to be an old wounded man who couldn’t cope with the grief of the disappearance of his woman. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t accept what he’s done over the years, but I can understand the pain that came with our mother leaving. After all, this is the feeling I have in my chest now.
“Hope you came back,” Farris says quietly with his eyes wide open.
“Hello,” I whisper and stand still at the door, unable to know how to behave.
Farris turns off the tv, puts the control on the table next to him, and points to a chair that I’m slowly moving towards. He studies me carefully, stretches out his hand, and then wipes away a lonely tear that hasn’t dried yet on my cheek. I smile faintly at the gesture because it reminds me of a simpler time when I was little and was sad; then, he was always there.
“Jessie is mad at me and knows I knew about his dad,” I say without looking up from my hands and hear Farris sigh.
“It’s not your fault, Hope. You know it, I know it, and deep down, Jessie knows it, too. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine and your mother’s,” he says, and I want to believe his words, but I can’t.
“Of course, it’s my fault!” I exclaim bitterly. “Just because you and mom let him down since he was little doesn’t mean I have to do the same. I made a decision and took an active choice to deceive him into thinking you were his dad. I did that! At any moment, I could’ve told the truth. Instead, I have now hurt him and probably lost him for all eternity!”
“No, Hope,” he whispers, wiping away more of my tears. “If you had told him, it wouldn’t have made a difference. If anyone deserves his anger, it’s me. You’ve been taking care of that boy all these years as if he were your son, and you’ve done a damn better job than your mother or I could’ve done. You raised him, shaped him into the man he’s about to become, and gave up all your dreams to give him the opportunity to do all the things you didn’t. You’ve given him everything, and he knows it. Don’t take offense at his words or anger because it’s not what you deserve.”
His words significantly impact me, and I start crying again, but this time I let it all out until my whole body shakes. Farris pulls me to him until I lie next to him on the bed, and he hugs me while caressing my hair. Over and over again, he tells me how proud he is of the woman I’ve become.
“I’m so sorry about everything, Hope,” he sighs suddenly. “You’ve heard those words countless times before. But I realized after our discussion earlier that you’ve had to take a lot more responsibility than you should’ve needed in the years that have passed since Yvette left us. I’ve done so much wrong, and I’m really sorry about that. You don’t believe my words now, and I understand that. But let me show you that I can get sober and be your dad again like I once was.”
He’s right that I don’t believe him. How can I? After all that has happened, it’s a miracle that I’m voluntarily staying in the same room as him. But at the end of the day, he’s my dad, and no matter how much wrong he does, there’s a part within me that will always love him. It just is that way.
“I can’t trust you yet, but I’m willing to give you one last chance to do the right thing,” I say, watching his eyes shine with joy. “If you can do something for me.”
“Whatever you want!” he answers immediately, obviously ready to give everything for his chance.
“Yvette’s address.”
“Why do you want it?” he asks uncertainly.
“She’s the only one who knows who Jessie’s real father is, and we owe him the name,” I answer, and Farris nods slowly before taking out a piece of paper on which he writes down the address. “She’s temporarily in town but doesn’t live here anymore. You can find her at this hotel.”
“How can you know these things?” I ask, suspicious.
“That woman was my world once. I’ve searched her over the years, in the only way she allowed, from a distance,” he replies with a sad smile. “In addition, she has visited me.”
“When?”
“A few days ago. She came to the house and wanted to see you.”
“Did you tell her where we are?”
“Of course not, I may have been absent from your lives, but even I know that none of you want anything to do with her,” he snorts, and now I understand why he’s in the hospital.
“Did she say something to you?” I ask, and he shrugs his shoulders with sadness written across his face.
“Nothing more than the usual. That she regrets the day she met me and that she deserves to know where her babies are. I told her to f**k off and that she didn’t deserve to call herself a mom.”
“She was what triggered you to drink until your body couldn’t take it anymore,” I whisper, and he nods slowly.
“Mrs. Spitz, who lives opposite me, apparently called the ambulance when I didn’t react when she tried to get me to move from the street. Then I woke up here, and you know the rest.”
Anger is all I feel when I hear about my mother’s impudence. She knows she broke Farris’s heart; even so, she has the stomach to show up outside his home and demand that he tell her where we are. I’m not happy with how he’s been behaving, but the anger against my mother is more extensive and worse.
She’s a manipulative snake who doesn’t think about anyone but herself. It’s even more apparent considering that she didn’t even feel ashamed that she came crawling back to the man she destroyed. She’s looking for something, and I want to know what. If I don’t know what factors are in her motives, I can’t protect Jessie.
“I’m sorry she hurt you, dad,” I whisper, and he looks at me in surprise when I don’t use his name. “I have to go now, but I can come back later this week if you want?”
“I’d like that very much,” he replies with a smile, and I walk towards the door; at the last moment, he starts talking to me again. “Jessie may be another man’s biological son, but I have always loved him as if he was my own. Please protect him, Hope.”
“Always,” I answer and walk out the door.
It doesn’t take long to drive to the hotel and find Yvette’s room number. I knock on the door and steel myself to meet the woman who abandoned me when I was little. Laughter comes from inside the room, and when she opens the door, the smile disappears from her lips. She stares at me like I’m a ghost.
“Hope,” she says, clearly shocked.
“What are you doing in town, Yvette?” I ask, and she flinches at my tone.
“I wanted to see you, I’ve missed you, and you’re my children,” she replies, and I feel the anger boiling inside me, making me hit her in the face with my fist.
“You left us,” I yell and watch her hold her cheek. “We don’t want you in our lives. You betrayed us and have no right to call yourself our mother anymore. A mother shouldn’t be the cause of pain; she should be the one who removes it.”
“So, what are you doing here?” she asks, swallowing hard.
“It’s simple. You’re going to give me the name of Jessie’s dad, and then you’re going to get out of town,” I answer, and she frowns.
“Why would I leave town just because you say so or give you his name? Jessie is still a minor and needs his mother in his life.”
“Correction, he needed his mother, but she betrayed him, and he no longer wants anything to do with you; that’s why you should leave town. Why should you give me his name? Because you owe it to him. It’s the least you can do to start repaying your debt.”
She looks down at her hands and sighs heavily. I don’t know if my words have any impact, but I hope, for her sake, they do. There’s nothing I’m not prepared to do to get her to give me the name. Jessie deserves restitution, and not even Yvette can stand in my way. Finally, she closes her eyes tightly and nods slowly.
“I agree to your terms and promise to leave town after my meeting tomorrow morning,” she replies quietly, and I nod. “Jessie’s dad’s name is Drew Carr, and you can find him in Carson City, Nevada.”
A/N:
Hello everyone!
Hope is obviously trying to do everything she can to help Jessie feel good again. The only question is whether it will help him or not...
~ Is Hope making a mistake in giving her dad one last chance?
~ Did Hope make a mistake in slapping Yvette?
~ Will Farris really quit drinking?
~ How do you think it’ll develop?
I would really appreciate some comments on what you think. Hugs and kisses!
- Writer
