Afraid to Love

2

The next morning, I dressed in slacks with leggings underneath for warmth and a silk purple shirt. I grabbed my pea coat and boots before heading right to the busy corner down the street to hail a cab to the hospital. I was a couple minutes early and grabbed a coffee from the cart just outside before heading up to see the doctor.

“Dr. Woodford?” I knocked and pushed the door open since it was already poised. He was sitting at his desk, typing away and looked up when he saw the door moving. He took off the headphones and stood up.

“Dr. Tomei. Thank you for coming in. I hope you don’t mind. One of your friends told me how great you were and how you were coming in to help the hospital downtown... and I thought that with your record of kids you could help Sarah.”

“That is completely fine. I would love to help out in any way that I can.” I told him and moved to sit down as we started to discuss her as a person and not just a patient.

“Shall we go and meet her and the parents?” He asked me, and I nodded happily and stood, taking my jacket with me as well and walking with him as he told me about the privileges they would grant me when I come in after the surgery to help.

“Dr. Woodford-” I head a male voice and I looked up at a man holding out his hand and then he looked to me “Dr. Tomei?” He asked, and I nodded.

“I got the letter just yesterday and got the good doctor on the phone right away. He let me in on what was going to be happening, I got dates, and he said that you were coming in for an MRI today, so I wanted to do a consult.” I said and looked from the dad to the mom and shook their hands.

“Are you the one that is going to help me talk again?” I heard Sarah ask and I looked at her.

“Only if you really truly need it. Dr. Woodford is a great doctor. I am here for the just in case purposes.” I told her with a wink. “Now... tell me what your favorite word is.”

“Supercalafragisticespialadosious.”

“Oh, wow okay.” I giggled and looked to her parents.

“We’re both full time workers and we have a nanny as well. She has a class, or she would love to meet you. She showed Sarah Mary Poppins and she’s been stuck on that word since she heard that she might need Speech after the surgery.” Her mom told me, and I nodded.

“Well how about this as a promise. I will work with you until you can say all of that like you just did... but I need the same promise from you that you’ll work just as hard no matter how irritated or hassle-some this gets for you.” I said and held out my pinky to the kid and she looked to me, her parents and then the doctor.

“I promise to work hard no matter what.” She said linking her pinky with mine. I looked to her parents and smiled.

“We might need to go over the schedule and what I’ll need from you guys... we can do that now or later.” I said, and they nodded right away and looked at Dr. Woodford and then Sarah.

“I can do it now... split this up. You want to stay with the doctor and I’ll take with Dr. Tomei?” The wife seemed a little flustered and I knew she was worrying out of her mind, so I just smiled as her husband kissed her head and told her to go with me.

“Would you like to get a coffee while we talk?” I asked knowing it was going to be a long conversation.

“Sure.” She said, and I smiled.

“And you can call me Sofia or Sofie.” Knowing that people always mixed them up I was fine with either.

“I’m Lola... and I’m guessing you know my husband.” She said, and I nodded.

“His note was very nice. And the surgery is very nerve wracking and it’s okay to be nervous for Sarah.” I told her when I saw she was twisting her wedding around and around her finger.

“It’s that... and well I have always had trust issues. I wanted to talk to you because I wanted to make sure you knew how to keep this low profile. My husband is the star of the NHL this year and the last thing we need is for our daughter to get press and him to get overwhelmed with the questions. He gets just as nervous leaving her as I do.” She said biting her lip and I smiled slightly before holding out my hand.

“My name is Sofia Tomei. I didn’t know anything about your husband until that note. And I have no reason to make this public news. Your daughters a child and children aren’t supposed to be worried about the things she is probably worried about. And I’m not talking about her medical stuff getting out... I’m talking about this surgery... and I know you are checking me out to make sure I’m not a bad person and I get that. But I’m also a professional.” I told her, and she seemed to relax against the back of the elevator and she started to deep breathe.

“How do we help you help her?” She asked, and I nodded.

“Well first things first... where would you like to do most of the meetings. Your home or mine?” I asked, and she paused.

“I kind of assumed mine.”

“Then we can do just that. And the Nanny what are her hours and such?”

“She’s mostly afternoon and evening things. She’s like my little sister. She used to live with us, but she moved out and started to go to college classes and such but she’s more that the Nanny. Did you want to speak with her as well?” She asked in an almost panic tone.

“I will eventually have to talk with her but for now I’m fine with talking with you.” I told her, and she calmed down and as we walked out I told her about how the meeting would range from an hour to two or maybe three depending on the days and how she is healing and getting better.

I told her that they would have to do the same thing and work with her always and still teach her things like math and regular school things.

I told her that I also wanted to know what Sarah liked to do in her free time so, just in case she did want to give up or stop working, I would have intel about what would motivate her into trying again.

And I took out my phone and took notes.

And then I asked about her favorite place and best part of their home and if she had friends that would want to come over.

She got the nanny on the phone and we made a time to meet after the surgery, so I can tell her what I needed her to do to not only help me but Sarah as well.

And Lola went back up to her husband and I listened as Dr. Woodford repeated what he had been saying and when he invited me into the OR as he did brain surgery I accepted right away.

“Now... you rest up... early tomorrow morning we are going to be headed to the OR.” Dr. Woodford told Sarah and she nodded before looking to me.

“Can my uncles lead me down there?” She asked me, and I really didn’t know what to say for two reasons.

I don’t know if they were available, so I looked to the parents and I didn’t know what the actual attending would agree on.

“That’s up to two people who aren’t me.” I told her and let the parents discuss what she meant by uncles since Lola was an only child and Mitch only had sisters.

She wanted her dads team, who are like her uncles, to walk her down to the OR. Usually they would take her down in the bed... but she was going to opt for a wheelchair, so her favorite uncle would push her down.

After she seemed satisfied with being able to have her ‘uncles’ taking her down. I got to the end of my time here and left them both with a couple cards and told them that after tomorrow I would want to sit down and go over the days and hours they had available for the next three months and we would just have to see how bad her speech was.

We took the time to say goodbye, and then I took my leave, heading home, and getting my other schedule worked out by tomorrow. I took one meeting and moved it up to this afternoon and when I met with the Mills family I realized one thing... the pacifier.

I told them about how I had been a nanny for a similar case and the only way I would take on their daughter... would be if they threw away all the ‘Chuppies’ right away. I told them that I knew she was going to cry and fight... but I also was straight forward in telling them that she would never start to talk right or keep talking with that in her mouth at any time and having it only some of the time will make her want it more and only prolong the inevitable.

So, they took the one in their two-year-old mouth and let her cry before I saw the dad get up and throw all but one out. I understood the hesitation and I told them that we can schedule everything for once a week. Weekends included.

They chose Saturday mornings and I had no issues with it. Not like I had much of a life. I moved here, away from everyone I ever knew, and didn’t care for making new friends.

I went home after the Mills and I got everything set up and couldn’t help but sit around wanting to do something. So, I just turned on the TV and got caught up on Grey’s Anatomy. I told myself the reason I moved to Seattle was because it was dark and gloomy like my life. But, I only knew what it was like from watching that show.

When I first started in the whole Dr. business I really wanted to find my own McDreamy... but most doctors are already married, or have no time for dating, or just think they are not going to date me simply because I don’t do exactly what they do.

In short most Doctors are married or jerks.

So, I stopped trying to date. I got on Tinder and when the mood stuck back home I would hook up with someone and never talk to them again.

But here I just want to be celibate, at least until I find someone I like.