My Alpha's Pain

Chapter 4: The Old Me

-Bella-

I stood in front of the mirror, smoothing out the dark blue dress I had chosen. It was knee-length with long sleeves. I had accessorized with a simple silver necklace and earrings. My long hair was braided and draped over my shoulder.

It had been a long time since I’d worn anything other than baggy, gray clothes. Now, I looked almost like my old self... almost. I sighed as I stared at my reflection. My lips were a soft pink, and I had applied a touch of mascara, but my brown eyes looked lifeless.

“What has happened to me?” I whispered, just as my cellphone dinged.

I walked over to the nightstand, where it lay, charging and ready for the evening. I unplugged the charger and glanced at the screen. A message from my cousin:

Outside. Now. You have five minutes.

Always with the short messages, I thought with a small smile. I grabbed my purse and a black leather jacket and headed out of my room. As I emerged, I ran into Kyle and Dean.

“Going somewhere?” Dean asked, noticing my outfit.

I forced a smile, trying to appear like the cheerful sister he remembered.

“Yeah, Mary’s taking me to a party,” I said, my voice devoid of any emotion.

“A party?” Dean inquired, clearly pleased to see me out of my room.

“Yeah, and we know how impatient Mary is, so I should go.”

“Just don’t let my sister pressure you into doing something you don’t want to,” Kyle advised with a smile.

I nodded but didn’t attempt to joke back like I used to. I just didn’t have the energy for it. Even going to this party felt overwhelming.

I quickly made my way downstairs and outside, where Mary was clearly not sad about waiting for me. She had her arms wrapped around her mate, Aiden’s neck, and kissed him as if she couldn’t get enough of him. Watching them probably should have hurt, but I felt nothing anymore, so I was indifferent to the scene before me.

I even wondered if it would make a difference if I went back inside. Mary likely wouldn’t notice my absence, but my family would. I had to show them that I wasn’t someone they needed to worry about, so I cleared my throat to get my cousin’s attention. She pulled away from Aiden and greeted me with a wide smile.

“Look at you!” she exclaimed, coming over to hug me. “You look amazing!”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“This is Aiden,” Mary informed me, making the introduction.

I shook Aiden’s hand lightly, and he gave me a warm smile. Mary had chosen well. Aiden was tall and handsome with brown hair and green eyes. He seemed like a real charmer, but if I ever saw him looking at someone else, I’d make sure it was the last thing he did. No one hurt my cousin.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“Well, if you’re ready, let’s go,” he replied.

Mary hopped into the front seat of the car, and I climbed into the back. It was perfect. I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, and the two of them could keep each other entertained.

“Trust me, Bella, you’re going to have a great time!” Mary said.

I managed a small smile, but I was already regretting coming out. I watched as Aiden held Mary’s hand tightly while driving away from my father’s territory and my bedroom—the only place where I felt safe right now.

I turned my eyes to the window, watching the trees blur by. I used to love driving, but now all I wanted was to be at home, doing nothing. Why had I agreed to this?

Maybe I should have told the truth. At least then people would have left me alone. Now it was too late, and I was being taken to a party I didn’t want to attend, surrounded by two very in-love wolves. It was just awful.

“I can’t wait for you to meet Aiden’s pack. They’re so much fun!” Mary exclaimed.

I didn’t respond, continuing to stare out the window.

“Maybe you’ll even meet someone special,” she added, turning in her seat.

She winked at me, but I only glanced at her briefly before turning my attention back to the window. I understood what she was trying to do. If I were my old self, I would have been excited, but now everything felt shadowed.

“I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all stay in the same pack?” she continued.

“Then why don’t you stay?” I inquired.

Mary’s smile died at my comment, and I immediately felt like a jerk. She was clearly happy with Aiden, and I regretted making such an insensitive remark.

“Sorry,” I said softly.

Mary offered a small, understanding smile before turning away. I knew she didn’t want to leave me, but her heart was pulling her in a different direction, and I had to accept that.