My Alpha's Pain

Chapter 3: Like A Ghost

-Bella-

Gray. Everything was just… gray. I used to smile and laugh, but not anymore. I used to talk so much that people often commented on it. Now I was silent, only speaking when someone forced me to.

I reject you.

His words echoed in my mind, every day, at every moment. In the beginning, they twisted my heart with such intense pain that I eventually grew numb. Now, they only leave me feeling hollow.

“I reject you,” I whispered.

I never even had the chance to confront the rejection, to throw it back in his face. Instead, I could only utter the words in solitude, where no one but I could hear them. They shattered me into pieces, and I was no longer the person I used to be.

My family noticed the change but didn’t understand what had happened. I left the dinners without touching my food. I had lost so much weight that it was becoming dangerous. I wasn’t sleeping either and wore nothing but baggy, dull clothes, only leaving the house or my room when absolutely necessary.

Knock. Knock.

I had just entered my room and positioned myself at the window, gazing out at the snow-covered grass and forest—it was so beautiful, I had always loved the winter—when someone knocked.

“Come in,” I said.

Cara, my brother’s mate, entered the room looking rather serious.

“May I sit?” she asked, gesturing to the spot in front of me.

“Sure,” I replied, my tone flat.

Cara closed the door behind her and approached me. It was clear she wanted to say something but struggled to find the right words. She cleared her throat several times and shifted nervously in her seat as she looked at me.

“Bella,” she finally said. “I… Your brother and I… Are you okay?”

That was an easy answer: Of course I wasn’t okay. But I couldn’t tell her that. I didn’t want my family to know what had happened. I just wanted to forget it all and move on.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her, though my voice lacked conviction.

“Bella… has someone hurt you?”

“Hurt me?”

“You seem like a ghost, not really seeing the world around you. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, and I see you wandering around at night. I… I’m just wondering if someone…”

“If someone what?”

“You remind me of myself… The way I was after someone forced themselves on me.”

“Do you think I was raped?” I inquired, shocked. “Does my brother think so too?”

“I did discuss the possibility with him.”

“Is he out there right now?” I asked, almost in fear.

I really didn’t want to see my brother or have this conversation with him. It was too overwhelming for me. Fortunately, Cara shook her head.

“No, I convinced him to let me talk to you first. I… well, I understand what it’s like.”

I sighed, tilted my head back, and rubbed my tired eyes before looking at Cara again. She truly believed I had been raped. While I appreciated her concern and the effort she made to come and talk to me, it also made me angry. Not at my family or Cara, but at Mason. It was his fault that my family was so worried that they thought I had been assaulted.

“No one forced themselves on me,” I assured her.

“Then what’s going on? Bella, this isn’t like you. Even I can see that.”

“I just… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t! Okay? So please, just let it go!”

Cara recoiled slightly, taken aback by my reaction. I felt like a terrible person for speaking to her that way, but I didn’t apologize, even though I wanted to. I just sat there, staring at her. What had happened to me?

Knock. Knock.

We both turned toward the door. My cousin Mary poked her head inside, her smile fading as she sensed the tense atmosphere.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Mary inquired.

Cara glanced at me, but I didn’t respond. I simply turned my head and looked out the window.

“No. We’re finished here,” Cara said, standing up and walking out, closing the door behind her.

“Did something happen?” Mary asked after Cara left.

I didn’t answer. I just continued to stare out the window as my cousin approached and sat down in front of me. I could feel her eyes on me, and eventually, I turned my head and inquired, “What?”

“We’re going out,” she stated.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Aiden invited me to a party, and you’re coming too,” she said with enthusiasm.

Aiden was the mate Mary had met from another pack nearly a year ago, and soon she would be moving to live with him. I felt a pang of resentment toward Aiden for taking my best friend away when I needed her the most. But it wasn’t his or Mary’s fault for being happy.

“No, I’m not,” I replied, turning away.

“Yes, you are! Bella, you’ve been cooped up in this room for over a month! You’re coming with me.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Bella, your family is worried sick about you. Unless you’re ready to tell us what’s going on, you’re coming to this party. End of discussion.”

I wanted to insist that I wasn’t going, but then I reconsidered. Mary was right. I was causing so much worry for my family that even Cara had come to check on me. They thought something terrible had happened, and though I wasn’t ready to tell them the truth, I could at least avoid adding to their stress.

“Okay. I’ll go with you.”