Crashing into Love

Chapter Eighteen

"Do you hate me?" Ia asked when I got home. I sighed before shaking my head. I can never hate her, she's my sister and I love her. Yumakap siya bigla sakin and I decided to hug her back. "I'm sorry, Drei. Hindi ko naman sinasadyang mag-away kayo. I thought you were still hurting because of Cassidy." She explained. Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya para kumalma siya.

"How is she? How's Cassidy?" I asked her. Bumitiw siya sa pagkakayakap at umupo sa couch ko, I sat beside her while waiting for her answer.

"She's.. Happy." She seemed hesitant to say the word happy. I nodded and a sincere smile appeared on my face. I tapped her shoulder calmly. "Ia, please don't hate Cassidy. Hindi naman porket hindi niya ako pinili ay masama na siyang tao. You've been her friend for five years and you know how nice she is."

She shook her head and for a second, I saw anger flash in her eyes again. "Hindi ako galit sa kanya dahil hindi ka niya pinili. Galit ako sa kanya dahil sinaktan ka niya."

"She didn't mean to hurt me. Siya rin naman nasaktan, sila ni Aaron. I was the hindrance, Ia. Can you not see that? Hindi maatim ng kunsensya ko na hadlangan ang karapatan nilang maging masaya. I let her go because it was the right thing, I let her go because the moment I saw her eyes when she came back for me, I saw that I'm not the one holding her heart anymore." Mahabang paliwanag ko. Ianna was silent for a while and then she gave me a forced nod.

"I guess you're right." She agreed.

"Masaya ako sa naging desisyon ko. Because if I didn't do that then I wouldn't have met my twisted creature. I wouldn't be this happy. If I didn't do that, then maybe the three of us are still miserable upto now. At least ngayon, lahat kami masaya. I gave up my happiness and now I found it again. But this time it's not Cassidy anymore. It's Claire Faith." Naalala ko ang mukha ni Claire at parang nagliwanag ang paligid.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti. Damn, I miss her already. Napapikit ako habang nakangiti parin. Mukha siguro akong tanga pero wala akong pakialam. My heart is filled with joy and contentment because of her. Who knew that all it takes is one twisted creature to bring back the old Raven Andrei?

"You really do love her." Pukaw ni Ianna sa atensyon ko. I gave her an amused look.

"Obvious na ba masyado?" I grinned and in return, she smacked me. Pinandilatan ko siya pero inikutan niya lang ako ng mata.

"Hindi pa ba magiging obvious eh pagkandahaba haba ng speech mo sa akin kanina! At ang drama pa! Jusko, what did she do to you?" Nawiweirdohang tanong niya. I laughed at her reaction.

"Kahit ako hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa niya sakin eh. Maybe she's a wizard, I bet she's using sorcery on me. But even if she is, then I don't give a s**t. As long as she loves me back then nothing else matters. She is my sun, she lights my heart up."

Ianna threw me a look of utter disgust while grimacing. "God, that was the sweetest and most disgusting thing I have ever heard from you!"

I guffawed. "Well, that's what love does to people. She has this certain charisma that leaves me wanting for more. And I can't get enough of her. At ikaw, kung makareact ka akala mo hindi mo mahal ang boyfriend mo. Sumbong kaya kita kay Dave!" I teased but she just raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I love Dave!" She said defensively. "But the way you speak kasi is so creepy no! Para bang si Claire na ang buhay mo! And besides, I'm not used of you being vocal about your personal life. Dati naman hindi ka ganyan, you had girlfriends before but you never spoke about them the same way you spoke about Claire."

"Claire is different, Ia. Very different. She's like a tulip in a garden full of roses. Alam mo yun, hindi siya ang pinakaperpekto but still, you know she's unique." Parang lumulutang sa alapaap na sagot ko. Napasapo ng noo si Ia sa hindi malamang kadahilanan. Pagkatapos ay mataman niyang tinignan bago nagsalita. "Nababaliw ka na yata."

"Siguro nga." Pagsang-ayon ko. She nodded. Maya maya ay napagdesisyunan na naming kumain ng dinner. We were eating in silence when she decided to break the ice.

"Do you think she'll forgive me if I apologize to her tomorrow?" Ia queried with so much reluctance. "Yep. A hundred percent sure. Mabait yon. She's an angel who came down from heaven."

Inirapan niya ako bago tumayo. Dinala niya ang pinagkainan niya sa sink at iniwan ito doon. "Nakakatakot na talaga ang lumalabas sa bibig mo. Ikaw ba talaga ang kapatid ko? Umamin ka!" She looked funny with that stern expression that doesn't even look threatening at all.

"Ako parin ito. Still your Kuya. Pero version 2.0 na."

"Ang dami mong alam, diyan ka na nga. Baka mahawa pa ako sayo!" She said before storming inside her room while I was left here, grinning at her retreating back. "Goodnight Ia." I shouted and she replied with a 'sweetdreams' before closing the guestroom door behind her. I checked the clock and saw that it was near 11 already. Hinugusan ko na ang mga pinggan at pagkatapos ay dumeretso narin ako sa sarili kong kwarto para matulog.

That night, just like most nights, I dreamt about my future with Claire Faith. Ng magising ako ay nakita kong gising narin si Ia. She was sitting cross-legged on my couch while drinking coffee. She nodded towards me to acknowledge my presence. "Morning." I greeted and she smiled. I just brushed my teeth and changed into decent clothes. When I was done, I quickly exited the house to walk to Claire's house.

Ang kulit kasi ng babaeng yun eh. Ayaw pumayag na tumira nalang sa bahay. Nahihirapan pa tuloy kaming dalawa. I smirked the moment I remembered her reaction. She looked so adorable vetoing my idea. Maybe Ia was right, maybe my sanity is not intact anymore. But so what? I have her and that's all I care about. Her love is enough for me.

Nang makarating ako sa tapat ng bahay niya ay inilabas ko ang spare key na pinilit ko pang makuha sa kanya ng mga nakaraang araw. Ayaw niya kasing ibigay sakin noong una, pero dahil sa charms ko ay wala narin siyang ibang nagawa kundi ang pumayag. I gave her a spare key of my house too, para fair kami. I inserted the key on the keyhole and twisted the door knob. Tahimik ang kabahayan. I slowly opened her bedroom door but to my surprise, it was empty. I was almost worried, kaya lang bigla kong naalala na minsan umuupo yon sa may dalampasigan. Lumabas ako ng bahay para hanapin siya sa beach.

At hindi nga ako nagkamali dahil maya maya lang ay namataan ko siyang nakaupo sa isang bakanteng cottage habang nakaharap sa dagat. I ran towards her and stopped in my tracks when I saw tears flowing down her eyes. Tulala siya. Dahan dahan akong lumapit sa kanya and when she saw me she immediately wiped those tears and smiled. "Goodmorning!" She beamed but her voice cracked. I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly.

Hinalikan ko ang tuktok ng ulo niya. "Why are you crying? May nangyari bang hindi ko alam?" Umiling lang siya at yumakap rin. "C'mon babe. Tell me." She sniffed and hugged me tighter.

"Claire Faith." I used my warning tone. Later on, she was already looking at her feet after I let go of the hug.

"Hey, speak up babe. Ano bang nangyayari? Why are you crying again?" Nag-aalala paring tanong ko. Her lips quivered before speaking. "W-wala namang problema, nalungkot lang ako dahil hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin makalimutan yung sinabi ng kapatid mo. Hanggang ngayon naiisip ko na baka si Cassidy parin yung mahal mo. Pilit kong pinapaniwala yung sarili ko na mahal mo ako tulad ng palagi mong sinasabi pero hindi pala ganoon kadali." Her voice broke. I reached for her face and gently caressed it.

"Claire naman, akala ko ba napag-usapan na natin to kagabi?"

Her tears kept falling from her eyes and it pains me to see that she's hurting. "I know, Raven. But it's not easy. It's not that I don't trust you because I do. You have no problem, Raven. Ako yung may problema, may takot sa puso ko. At ang dami ko paring agam-agam. Hindi maalis sa utak ko na baka isang araw balikan mo siya."

Naihilamos ko ang kamay ko sa mukha ko. That will never happen. Ilang beses ko bang kailangang ulitin na mahal ko siya para lang mawala ang takot niya?

I looked at her and she looked at me. And in that kind of stare, I finally knew what I had to do. I had to erase those fears. I was thinking of something drastic right now. "Gusto mo bang patunayan ko sayo na kahit kelan hindi ko na babalikan si Cassidy?"

She just stared at me and blinked. And I waited for an answer but she remained silent. Lumapit ako sa kanya, I bridged the gap between us and just like that electricity flowed on my veins again. "Sagot, Claire Faith. Gusto mo bang patunayan ko sayo kung gano kita kamahal?"

She swallowed and croaked. "Y-yes."

I smiled and knelt in front of her while still holding her hand. She gasped. "I haven't bought an engagement ring yet but that thing can wait.. So.."

Higit higit ko ang hininga ko. I discovered that I too, was nervous. My heart was pounding. "Will you be my wife?"

She looks shocked. Binawi niya bigla ang kamay niya and tears started falling in her eyes again. Tinakpan niya ng kamay ang bibig niya and she sobbed. "But Raven.. Masyado pang maaga. We just met!" She exclaimed. Hindi parin ako tumatayo, that wasn't the answer I was waiting for. Wala pa man ay parang pinupunit na ang puso ko sa sakit.

"I know. But does that matter Claire? Does that define the love I have for you? No. Hindi sa tagal ng pagkakakilala nasusukat ang pagmamahal." Sagot ko na halos napapayuko na sa kawalan ng pag-asa.

"This is just crazy, Raven." Mahinang sambit niya. Napabuntong hininga narin ako at saka tumayo. I don't want to walk away from her but right now I think it's the most appropriate thing to do. Ang mag walk-out. I just had to salvage my pride. Para bang dinurog ang pagkatao ko sa hindi niya pagsagot ng yes.

It hurt. Big time. Naramdaman kong nag-iinit ang magkabilang sulok ng mata ko. I turned my back and started walking away but then I felt her arms around me, stopping me. Lalong nag-intensify yung sakit sa dibdib ko, but then she spoke. And all the pain and uncertainties vanished and melted.

"Matutupad narin ang pangarap kong beach wedding." Napapihit ako paharap sa kanya. I cupped her face and she grinned at me. I grinned back while tears of joy ran down my cheeks. Binuhat ko siya at kinarga ng paharap, pinulupot niya ang mga hita niya sa bewang ko at napangiti ako bago siya siniil ng halik.

God, I just love this woman so much. Thank you Lord.